This is quite a bit longer than I thought it would be, but if you stick with me through this retelling I think you'll be blessed as I was to just how much Christ provides. :]
During the Sunday of my return from Washington (state) God was able to manifest Himself to me in three distinct ways and restore what little connection I had with him from the winter break.
The first began with my dad calling me the day after I had returned. It was the weekend before school was set to start again and I was spending it with my grandma at her apartment. My dad needed me to do some work for him at a house he was renting out - simply additions to the house so it could pass some qualifications test. I went out and bought all the supplies I needed, but was worried because I didn't have a tool set on hand where I was.
I drove to the house later and listened to music on my phone. It was Sunday morning and I was trying to finish the work quickly so I could go to my "home" church. I say "home" because even though I consider it my home church, I can only go there once a month when I'm at school and I hardly get to see any friends from college because I always go home (Seattle, WA) for long holidays. I wouldn't say that this is a difficult struggle for me, but it sometimes feels awkward going back and makes me wonder whether I should consider it my home church.
Anyway, back to the rental house. I arrive on scene and the people staying there are nice enough. They show me around and let me do my work. One thing I need to do is add earthquake straps around a water heater, but I only have a screwdriver on me and you need to drill holes into the wall to do install the straps. I ask if the rentees if they have a drill, but they have none. I then notice that there are some holes in the wall already, much like for earthquake straps. Relieved I continue my work happy for this coincidence. I finish installing one side of the straps and start on the other. A problem comes up though: the other side's holes in the wall are too big for the screws I'm using. I'm at a loss for what to do. I think of asking if the rentees have caulking to help fill the hole, but I realize they don't have a drill so more likely than not they don't have caulking. I then resolve to make my own hole in the wall with nothing but my screwdriver. I figure if I jam it into the wall and keep twisting I can get a big enough hole to start to place the screw and finish from there. I begin making this hole and get past the finish on the wall, but find something strange. There seems to be unusual resistance from the wall and it feels almost metallic. I pull my screw driver away and see, to my surprise, that there is a screw in the wall right where I was trying to make my own. I attribute this to nothing but Christ providing for me at a time before. I unscrewed the screw in the wall and then used that space in the wall to finish my installation successfully.
For those who may wonder why this was so amazing, let me explain further. Out of all the spaces on the wall that I could choose to try and make my own hole, I chose the place that had a screw in it prematurely. This screw was covered by the wall's finishing so there was no way for me to know that there may be a screw there. This also meant that this screw was placed mistakenly when the house was originally being built and was then simply kept in place. To the tenant's knowledge there were never any earthquake straps ever in place so the appearance of the holes at all was a sign of preparation by Christ to my arrival. At the moment where I had no more ideas and reached out in desperation God was there for me.
Of course, this single event was not enough for me to come back running into His arms. No. My faith was not so easily revived after such a long and dead winter. He had to shine through in more ways to get through to my cold heart and nurture growth back into my life.
The second was after I had left the rental house and began driving to church. I earlier had had second thoughts about going to my home church and pondered visiting another recent church that my home church had opened. A friend and I tried to go, but in the end we chose to go to our home church. On the way I still wasn't all that excited to go back and wondered who would be there. I've had drama at the church before (relationships, you know) and was hesitant about how I'd be welcomed.
Driving there I was playing music from my phone and from it came Scared to be Alone by Tim Be Told. It perfectly reflected how I was feeling at the time and helped my calm down in a weird sense. Then, from the thousands of songs I have on my phone, the majority of which is not Christian music (prolly ~10-15% of which is Christian music) Christ gradually led me to praise. He started slow with Surely We Can Change by David Crowder, one of my more favorite Christian songs that isn't blatantly Christian, and then moved on to hymns and even Chris Tomlin (whom I'm not the biggest fan of [just his voice really]).
All of this so that by the time I arrived at my home church (about 20 minutes of driving) my heart was fully prepared to hear and learn of what God has for me. Perhaps not excited per say, but definitely willing in my heart. Coming to church became more than just seeing old friends in that moment. All He needed was 20 minutes to prepare me, but He didn't just prepare me but also continued to bless me.
The third was through the church itself. My fears and insecurities of my arrival were soon put to rest as I quickly saw familiar faces that welcomed me back after several months of absence (the last quarter was really rough and I couldn't make it back after the first month of school). I spoke to many and nothing came up that would appear awkward. In fact, quite the opposite happened. One memorable moment was seeing one of my older friends, getting a good strong handshake, a look straight in the eyes, and hearing "It's good to see you back at your home." I was stunned, but at the time the thought passed over me. I wasn't mulling over my dilemma of a home church till later and that's when I felt at peace. I caught up and saw several people that I hadn't seen for nearly half a year. I was welcomed. I was home.
To top all of this off, the message was on the focus of an eternal life perspective. I realized I hadn't thought about eternal life for a long time. I felt reawakened after the message. My strength and faith renewed, and most of all, I had confirmation of where Christ wanted me at. I was found sure and felt for the first time in a long time, that my life was built on the rock of the earth and not the sands of the beach where the waves could beat me down. (Matt 7:24-27)
It's going to be a great and long year. It will be good, it will be bad, it will be easy, and it will be hard, but it will be worth it and I look forward to leaning on my heavenly Father more and more with each passing day.
Thanks for reading guys. :]
