sextus the stoicism enjoyer

they/them/it/its (just not the binary pronouns i beg you i will die) fandoms: pokemon, zelda, star wars, other niche shit like classics 'n history call me parsley

[zoesupreme]

Christopher Nolan almost allows colors into his mythical epic shot on 70mm IMAX film. thank god they stopped filming in time.

[justcallmedom31]

[analog-autistic]

me when my friends pick up vocabulary from me and i pick up vocabulary from them

[homunculus-argument]

"Problematic height gap" was a concept made up by people who have never seen the kind of short people who go out to interact with the public. Those fucking gnomes fear nothing. If they're at the exact right height to bite you in the nuts, they will.

And insanely tall people come in two categories: If they're merely tall, and not large, they're just skittish fragile giraffes. The most dangerous thing they can do to you is stand up too fast, faint because their blood pressure dropped, and hit you on the way down like a felled tree.

The tall people who are also large are mostly chill in my experience. Sure some of them must be assholes just out of statistical inevitability, but it takes some edge out of life knowing that someone could try to hit you with a tank and all they're going to find out is whether or not a Leopard 2A7 has a crumple zone. And most importantly they are never tactically prepared for getting bit in the nuts.

[what-even-is-thiss]

I still like the term parental unit that we used to use as a joke in middle school and high school. Did everyone else do that or was it just a my social circles thing?

Anyways telling the kids to go collect their parental units at the end of an event is a) funny b) gender neutral and c) just refers to the person currently doing your parenting

Also if you’re on joking terms with your parents “greetings, child” “greetings, parental unit” is a top tier greeting. Makes you sound like robot aliens.

[hail-dondus]

Finding out Hans Zimmer is a transphobe genuinely had me falling to my knees

[cartoonistfreak101]

Thank you blastybaku for explaining this!/gen

[poetry-protest-pornography]

If you've ever heard a movie score and thought "holy shit, this is incredible", there's like, a 50% chance it was Hans Zimmer who composed it.

This is a pretty major letdown, ngl.

Anyways, fuck transphobes, which includes Hans Zimmer, apparently.

[excessively-english-jd]

Anyway shoutout to John Williams, amazing composer and probably the one who made the other 50% of "holy shit amazing" soundtracks (Jurassic Park, Star Wars, Superman, and incidentally the original Harry Potter theme and score) who famously worked closely with the first openly transgender woman to be nominated for an Academy Award, Angela Morley. He respected her, and so far as I can see, has never made transphobic remarks.

[what-even-is-thiss]

The upside to the adhd forgetting that you made yourself a drink thing is thinking to yourself “man I could go for a drink right now” and looking to your right and seeing a drink has appeared there. Thank you, past me. I lost you somewhere but you have still provided.

[byjove]

idioms are always funnier in languages you do not understand, especially when a native speaker is struggling to explain and actively digesting how ridiculous it is in real time

[redstonedust]

i dont agree with outdoor cats but i gotta admit the fact me and my roommate can fondly talk about local cats like theyre our beloved neighbours is pretty cool. do i know any of the humans who live in my neighborhood? not particularly. do i know the little tuxedo cat with the pink collar who recognises the ice cream truck music and comes out to get pets from all the kids? of course they're a local celebrity to me.

[aaalienperson]

My favorite part of being Lgbt is being able to look at my friends who spited me slightly and say

" Hey thats a hate crime"

[jellyfishforest135]

Typical science teacher behavior

[redstonedust]

random niche hill ill die on is that i think all languages should be called whatever they call themselves in that language. if it's español en español it should be español in english. what the hell is a spanish anyways.

[luxwing]

GAMING NEWS !!

expensive

[luxwing]

[crackedpolishedblackstonebrick]

posts funnier with timestamps on

[justcallmedom31]

[zero1infinity]

[tsukiyamas]

why does this have 32k notes? it’s just a picture of a knife in a ranch bottle, is there some unspoken joke that 32 thousand people share? what is going on here, i dont get it. it’s just a fucking picture of a knife in a ranch bottle. is there some spiritual connection people have to this picture? is there some ominous and mystical reasoning that this has 32 thousand notes? do people reblog this because it makes them look like some indie blogger? or is there just something funny to this? someone please explain

[diggly]

no one tell him

[donutpenguins]

@chaoticparsley

[comic-canary]

DONT ASK ME THIS, THIS IS HOW THE TROJAN WAR STARTED, I DONT WANT THIS MAN

[ravenclawslibrary-deactivated20]

Right away, Aphrodite popped into my head.

And then I’m just like, “DAMMIT, DID YOU LEARN NOTHING FROM PARIS? YOU ARE AN EMBARRASSMENT, AND NOW ALL THE TROJANS ARE DEAD. I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY.”

[knitmeapony]

If you are ever actually in this situation, pro-tip: name Persephone.  Half the goddesses will be too surprised to smite you immediately and while Hades won’t do you any favors he may at least high-five you while your on your way down.

[ghostofgogu-deactivated20161116]

Another tip: name Mesperyian. Not only will you shock everyone, including her (since Aphrodite was a jealous ho who burnt half her face off), but you’ll win Hades’ favour. As his most beloved daughter, anything that praises her will make you a kind human to her, an okay human to him, and a genuinely good person to anyone else.

[knitmeapony]

I heartily endorse this alternative answer.

[thestrangedaysofkrei]

I love how all of this advice leads to “please Hades at all costs.”

[luximperiium]

[true-king-of-monsters]

#because Hades really wasn’t that bad

No shit. The only real villain that caused so many problems was Zeus’ Thunder Cock and that thing has been in Olympus-knows-what. 

[angelrinisadork]

ZUES’S THUNDER COCK

[ccborrega]

To be fair, Poseidon was like the greek mythology personification of the phrase ‘BITCH, FIGHT ME’

[zabchan]

reblogging for BROseidon and FIGHT ME

[unconventionalwitch]

@mayhemdoll lol

[prettyflyforajeskai]

Broseidon, King of the Brocean

[optimysticals]

This just keeps getting better.

[mademoiselleseraph]

I’m imagining all the Greek goddess asking me who I think is the most beautiful and I say the Norse goddess, Hel, is.

Aphrodite yells “She doesn’t even go here!”

[bluebelle88]

This keeps getting better every time I find a different deviation

[heretherebefeels]

All battles shall be riff-offs!

[scribegirl94]

@bluemosmurf-blog

[bluemosmurf-blog]

TBH I am partial to Artemis, but Demeter is also up there. Appeasing Hades could either get you in good with him or cause him to focus on you and give you a 1000 piece puzzle that you have to complete everyday, and he would hold back a different piece each day.    

[clarablightt]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[hellsite-hall-of-fame]

this is the photo at the top that got deleted-

[donutpenguins]

@chaoticparsley

[the-goddamn-robot]

Damn, Rome really looks great in all four seasons

Winter

Spring

Summer

Fall

[ba7raltawil]

oh my GOD

[yomikoreadsbooks]

As long as I’ve been on this site, I honestly should have seen this coming a mile away and yet…

[donutpenguins]

@chaoticparsley