can I just be a fairy yet

charlie, she/they, 24, artist, asexual panromantic queer girl(?), baby witch

[cloudabserk]

WARNING do NOT start reading books and comics or watching movies or looking at art!!! you will start wanting to create art yourself. or god forbid. writing.

[cambriancrew]

[amygdalae]

I absolutely adore dogs but I think dog haters are (usually) more justified than cat haters wrt their reasoning

[amygdalae]

your average cat hater: I don't like how they r bitchy and ignore me/ won't let me manhandle them

your average dog hater: I have been mortally endangered by an ill-trained dog

[wildestlovers]

embarrassment is the cost of entry.

if you aren't willing to look like a foolish beginner, you'll never become a graceful master.

[pangur-and-grim]

getting rocks thrown at you until you die is just part of the process. you can walk it off

[troythecatfish]

Made this after hearing that Playstation Sony will cease production of physical PlayStation game discs in the near future.

(Made this with Imgflip)

[ivan-fyodorovich-k]

I wish to purchase goods and services without entering a blood covenant that entitles the provider to email and text me forever and also store a bunch of my personal data that they’re going to apologize for exposing in a breach in the next five to ten years

[b-0-ngripper]

[godisafujoshi]

Fuck the haters. I believe in you

[nick-nonya]

woa

[bathroomcube]

[kingfucko]

i dont care if monday sucks... tuesday cost me sixty bucks... wednesday thursday give no fucks. it's friday im a duck

[romanceyourdemons]

sewing affirmations

it’s okay that i don’t have a sewing machine

i love backstitching by hand for hours

this has got to be great for my back

millions of my ancestors did this and they lived almost as long as i want to

i’m making so many beautiful things for my house—oh goddamn it

[pangur-and-grim]

I hope my spider fucking book will hold universal appeal

[pangur-and-grim]

[anythings-a-sweet-if-you-eat-it]

boring take from real 21st century idiots: bdsm is bad because it's basically torture

interesting take from a fictional 14th century monk: torture is bad because it's basically sex

[ohholydyke]

Shoutout to the nun who had other nuns tie her up and pour hot wax on her as she confessed her sins

[amorphousgenderlesscryptid]

I'm sure that's true, but something tells me googling "nun tied up by other nuns" "hot wax" "confessing sins" will likely get what you might call rather un-academic results

[spiralatria]

'minion' -too closely associated with those yellow things

'goon' -linguistic drift gave her a new meaning. i hope her new life is good for her. i miss her.

'henchman' -too gendered. can be shortened to 'hench' in a pinch, but lacks punch.

'servant' -too domestic to apply to all those who serve evil.

'underling, subordinate' -this one only works if they get off on being beneath you and/or you don't properly pay your workers.

'associate' -this one's good for grizzled mercenaries or lone agents but doesn't work good for broad swathes of an organization.

'slave' -same as underling but more intense. really fun for some of the group. unsavory for others in a way that limits the scope of the thing.

'thrall' -only really applies if you're brainwashing them and that's not something i've learned how to do en masse yet

'flunky, toady, stooge, lackey' -these are just insulting, and that isn't conducive to a healthy work environment. imagine going to work and your job title is 'stooge'.

'acolyte' -works for those that worship you, but again. lacks the scope.

'supporter, follower' -unspecific and vague

'assistant, helper, aide' -not sinister at all. just means you're doing things for me. swagless in this manner. could be good if used to describe someone who's so clearly more that as a way to emphasize their obedience via understatement, but that's only useful for a few members of the organization. and even then, 'associate' works better.

'cohort' -untested in the field. suggests an equal footing in the affair, ideal for post-structuralist evil organizations with a bottom-up power structure that's held in the hands of the evil workers themselves. perhaps we'll explore it together?

[seraphalpha]

may I suggest: 'grunt' – time-tested by crime bosses with a variety of goals and organizational mandates. implies a subservient position with none of the innate baggage of lackey et al.

[spiralatria]

GRUNT IS PRETTY GOOD

[jingle-knight]

I’m soooooo embarrassed. My lord told me “good night,” but I thought he was calling me a good knight, and, well, you could hear it clink against my codpiece.

[weaselle]

companies like google and youtube etc are like if a guy went around putting little bowls of soup out everywhere. And it's pretty good soup. But it's so very everywhere that there's not a lot of room to find any other soup anywhere. Which is kind of okay, because the soup is decent plus it's free.

But someone has to pay for it, and this rich guy says he'll pay for the soup if he gets to attach a business card to each of the bowls. And that's okay, kinda, because it means you don't have to pay for it.

And THAT. That should be how things end up. But they don't stop there.

Soon business card guy gives the soup guy some extra money and starts putting business cards IN the soup. And, like, little pebbles with his name on them.

And then the soup guy takes "don't be evil" off his list of commitments and starts peeing in the soup, and the business card guy pays him some more extra money and puts hidden cameras up to spy on the people eating the piss soup.

but by now there's so much of their soup everywhere that you kind of have to eat it. If you're not eating soup from soup guy, then you're getting dinner from chicken wing guy who is also getting paid to have cameras watch you eat the business cards stuffed into the wings. And pissing on them, probably. And between them and the burger gang, they take up so much of the surface area nobody else can put much food out.

Anyway it's especially frustrating because there is a stage in there where it's working for everybody. Everybody gets what they want at one point in this process, and by all rights it should just. stay. there.

Right when it all really comes together, it works. We get the free soup, which is decent and piss-free with no business cards shoved directly into it. Business card guy gets his business card attached to every bowl, and it boosts his business. And soup guy gets to be known as the one giving out all this free soup while making a decent living taking payment from business card guy.

but it always slides straight into business guy and soup guy becoming wealthy from our money as they both spy on us eating their piss soup

[my-life-is-a-sidequest]

A Horse power being only 735 watt is honestly so weird like that's not even enough to run a modern game on decent seatings

[pseudomasochist]

You wanna know what's fucked?

Your brain is a 25-watt computer.

Brain is 25% of your energy consumption, you burn about 100 watts of power (about 100 joules per second). You're a 25-watt computer.

[my-life-is-a-sidequest]

I don't like that fact

[pseudomasochist]

No but for real. Your brain is one of the most advanced machines known to exist. It's a computer capable of running a sapient intelligence on - and I cannot stress this enough - 25 watts of broccoli and stew. What the fuck.

[my-life-is-a-sidequest]

It's a cool fact it just makes me uncomfortable

[virtualgirladvance]

so an average toaster runs at about 1200 watts, say it takes 5 min to toast bread thats 0.1Kwh. itd take 4 hours of brain power to toast it

[my-life-is-a-sidequest]

Just connect multiple humans together matrix style

[virtualgirladvance]

in the woods amongst my coven, 48 all in total, linking hands deep in concentration. our collective will united on our task of great importance for what feels like days but in reality scarce but a few minutes. in the centre of us lays a single slice of toast cooked to perfection

[pangur-and-grim]

idk why but it's satisfying to see that Pangur has kept (and possibly increased) the slinky-ness of Lily

YES, Long mamma had a Longer baby

Lily above, Pangur below  

[hypotenussy]

the number 1 rule of fanfic is have fun and be yourself. the number 2 rule is the average healthy adult male can lose roughly 2 liters of blood before dying.

[thecharmingquirksofothers]

incredible prev tags

[bold-baddie]