[m--ood-deactivated20181217]

Harvesting carrots.

[bunjywunjy]

jesus christ they’re all going to carrot heaven

[acoolguy]

just showed this video to my cousin who is a feudal serf and he threw his cap on the ground like yosemite sam

[witnessings]

happy last day of pride to the gay snails who hug and kiss for hours without mating

[brick3621]

[depsidase]

[pettycentral]

[inkandguns]

[lillytheaspie]

[innerchildabortionclinic]

honestly the original USDA food pyramid was funny as fuck for recommending 6-11 servings of bread a day. like honestly don't mind if I do

[goldcrescent]

lmfao I just saw zohran doing the inaugural swim in a full suit and tie, the schtick genuinely gets funnier the more he does it. My only complaint is should have worn swim trunks OVER the suit

[goldcrescent]

Can you guess which of these people is the mayor

[vspin]

[tiktoks-for-dead-pope]

[countofeight]

Glad it’s not just me

[ventela1]

The first time I saw this video I didn't reblog or save it anywhere and it's been genuinely impossible to find again. I searched every variation of "dyke falling apart car bentley review asmr meme" I could come up with on Google and across multiple websites/apps.

So, thanks for putting this back on my dash.

[important-animal-images]

[infectiouspiss]

all gambling advertising should be illegal

[infectiouspiss]

same goes for weight loss and alcohol and credit cards and vapes and crypto and medicine and religion and. all adverts should be illegal.

[cosmosarcana]

if you ever tell me that you go to a chiro this is what i envision them doing to you

[maria-ruta]

Help

[atlas-prime]

[ninanation]

Come to think of it, it really is insane that my entire country is burning alive and literally no one in the rest of the world cares. Thousands of Indians are dying every day from the heat, it's 45+ degrees in multiple areas, the government couldn't give two fucks, we're getting severe warnings and red alerts, and not a soul outside of South Asia is speaking about it because why would you ever care about brown people

[ninanation]

please keep talking about how Becky from Maryland doesn't like the rising gas prices. It's clearly the more pressing issue.

[skygenders]

Raise or freeze NYC rent? Board fulfills Mamdani's pledge for 1 million apartments

The city’s Rent Guidelines Board, an independent panel of mayoral appointees, approved a rent freeze for people living in about 1 million re

Mamdani going for win after win oh my godddddd

[vinceaddams]

It had never occurred to me that bus upholstery fabric is something that an ordinary person can just buy, but I was watching a video that included a trip to a huge fabric store and they just had a whole section of it??!

Including the exact same one my city buses have!!

The fabric store in the video isn't even in the same country as me, but I sat on that very same pattern on the way to work yesterday!

[vashti-lives]

I love discovering really specific commercial textiles are also available for domestic use. Very jarring to discover, for example, that bowling alley carpet is something anybody can just buy.

[vinceaddams]

Even though I don't want any myself it's really nice to know that it's an option!

[desinteresse]

The fact that im getting raw dogged by life everyday. Don’t have any medication to take the edge off. Nor any addiction, I don’t even got a religion or spirituality to fall back on. Im facing this life stone cold sober every goddamn day??? Why???

[desinteresse]

Me when im awake, alert, unmedicated, sober and not religious

[doctorparma]

[average-smoothie-enjoyer]

My favorite “humans are space orcs” idea is that trope where aliens kidnap some humans for their zoo, except it ends up like Jurassic Park. And the poor Alien Humanologists who were invited to the park are like:

“You mean you locked up a pack of curious, highly competitive persistence predators with NO enrichment in the enclosure? You FOOLS! If you had bothered to throw a basketball or half a box of Legos in there, KE-X9 would still be alive!

“Well of course they climbed the retaining wall! Did you think to study their evolutionary lineage AT ALL?”

[what-even-is-thiss]

The humans would find a way to use the basketball and legos to escape. I mean one time a guy somehow escaped from a prison in Mexico without breaking any laws so his escape would be legal so honestly given enough time the Jurassic park situation is inevitable.

[elidyce]

Jurassic Park would be awesome, but now that I think about it I also kind of love love the idea of humans as the alien zoo equivalent of those octopuses that climb out of their tanks and wander around taste-testing other exhibits or throwing sub-par shrimp at handlers. 

Like they’re totally unable to figure out what’s happening because the cameras keep going out, but every night things get moved, or stolen, exhibits are disappearing, WHAT IS GOING ON, they’ve moved facilities twice and it’s still happening, are they haunted, are the ancestors angry, WHAT IS HAPPENING!?

And then a weary humanologist is all ‘… your humans are getting out’. 

“That is impossible.” 

“They’re getting out.” 

“That enclosure is COMPLETELY SECURE.” 

“And yet somehow they’re getting out.” 

“THE HUMANS ARE NOT GETTING OUT.” 

“Oh yeah? I bet you twenty glarks they’re getting out. Stay after closing time with me and I’ll show you.” 

*next day*

“… the humans were getting out.” 

“… why did they keep going back in, then?!”

(In a deeply embarrassed mumble) “They said they weren’t going to escape until they finished their behavioural experiments. Uh. On us.”

[weaselle]

two things come to mind:

1 - at our own zoos the MOST notorious jail breakers are the orangutans, who exploit all manner of methods, including literal lock picking. One orangutan, Ken Allen escaped several times WHILE THE ZOO WAS OPEN TO THE PUBLIC without getting caught by watching Zoo employees, even when they tried to disguise themselves as tourists to catch him at it. While he was being “secretly” surveilled, he managed to escape AND show the other orangutans how to escape. They finally found out he was doing some thought-to-be-impossible rock climbing to escape. To fix it, they brought in a team of human rock-climbers to locate all possible methods of climbing out. So. Humans would absolutely be the worst to try to keep contained. Like, “escape rooms” are currently seen as a fun date idea. I’m sayin.

2 - animals that escape most often return to their own enclosure (after all that’s where their beds and dinners are, and if the zoo is any good it is the place best suited to their species-specific needs for miles and miles) after they have had sufficient excitement. Ken Allen the orangutan would escape and wander around the zoo looking at the animals like he’d bought a ticket. So if the keepers were nice, and formed a bond, and the set up was comfy, once the human knew they could get out if they really wanted, they’d probably go back, depending on how uncomfortable/dangerous the alien environment was.

I mean if they were raised in captivity. Wild-caught humans, all bets are off; depending on age of capture a return home could be a full blown obsession, the sabotage of engineering from mechanisms up to entire facilities is a strong possibility, and they may go on a murder spree with improvised or stolen weapons if desperate.

[asteroidtroglodyte]

Humans consider an Escape Room to be a Fun Courtship Ritual

[roseapprentice]

The wild humans thing does depend a LOT on how good the zoo is, IMO. If you, as the alien zookeeper:

“Rescued” humans who weren’t thriving in the wild. (Aka dire medical debt.)

Made sure to take an entire social troop instead of lone individuals. (Your closest friends/family members are there.)

Offered VERY good care and enrichment.

Then I think you’d have at least a PARTIAL chance of your wild humans proving to themselves that they can escape and immediately going, “Okay but the zoo is obviously better.”

[catchymemes]

Wild Dogs see a Domesticated Dog

[headspace-hotel]

African wild dogs are one of my favorite animals. Those huge round circle ears and tricolored coats. I love you African wild dogs

[bunjywunjy]

HEY. HEY. HOW DID YOU GET OUT??? HEY-

[timefortigers]

dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog? dog?

[that1nkyone]