[aurpiment]

Shout out to the ten primate species, four bat species, elephant shrews, and the Cairo spiny mouse. Nobody else gets it

[oarfjsh]

[tessa-the-duck]

here you are sweetie

[cheaphalloweencostume]

on the 30+ hour train ride home i decided to read a bunch of stephen king short stories i had skipped over years prior because they didn’t interest me and i read Night Flier first and that is literally a story about a detective type man hunting a crazed serial killer pilot who flies a plane directly to his victims and who thinks hes a vampire and he chases this guy across states only to find out it is an actual fucking Dracula who flies a plane and the dracula is like “fuck off and stop following me” and leaves in his plane. and that’s the story

[cheaphalloweencostume]

what kills me is that the next story in the same book is about a guy who gets paid to abduct lost children and he picks up a kid who bites him and is weirdly strong and is talking about how his grandpa is gonna find them and fuck him up and lo and behold the grandpa is the same. fucking. dracula.

[unpretty]

I HAVE BELLS

I PLAYED THE BELLS SO MUCH IT STARTED SNOWING ON MY DASH

[unpretty]

assuming you've enabled 1-8 keys to play the bells, joy to the world is:

87654321

566778

88765543

88765543

3333345

4222234

321865434321

[mhalachai]

Jingle bells is: 

333 333 35123

4444 43333 3223 2 5

333 333 35123

4444 4333 554 2 1

[unpretty]

twinkle twinkle little star:

1155665 4433221

5544332 5544332

1155665 4433221

[unpretty]

this old man:

535 535

6543234

3451111 12345

5224321

[runawaymarbles]

the “dashing through the snow” part of jingle bells:

14321 1115432 25432 66535 14321 15432 22543 666 676521

[runawaymarbles]

this is the best I could do for “greensleeves”

234565421

23422

12311

234565421

345432123

8876531

12422

12311

8876531

234222123

[beardedmrbean]

[the-silent-planet]

Just a fan of thermodynamics

[naamahdarling]

I think this is “Finally, one that doesn’t just study gravity!”

Which is indeed hilarious, @csataharcsa .

[vang0bus]

the hardest thing a girl has to do is get out of his warm comfy bed in the morning

[tiktoksijustthinkareneat]

I'm begging you to turn the sound on

[drtanner]

Spring.

[sage-nebula]

Spring.

[bramcrackerswrites]

Spring.

[thirtyknives]

Spring

[assassinationtipsforladies]

Spring

[tiktoksijustthinkareneat]

[kryptonite-tie]

Something about this is so genuine and funky. It feels so natural that if I heard the correct lyrics it wouldn't process as right in my brain. This man yelling about his green tea and watermelon sour patch kids fits so well with the live music playing in the background, the atmosphere, the whole situation. It's like some reverse slam poetry talking about how good life is and how the simple pleasures should be enjoyed. I'm in love with this tik tok.

[g-a-y-g-o-y-l-e]

old alt rock fans in the notes are like:

1) this slaps and actually sounds like a lot of the classics

2) if i went to a concert and they played this i wouldnt even question it. id be like FUCK yeah they were watermelon!!!

[ygosideblog]

who keeps giving her these things

[frommetrunui]

[super-saiyan-rose]

she ends up condemned too D:

[princesspornstar-deactivated201]

damn bitch get it together

[estrogenpatchnotes]

[megadethzenbu-deactivated202011]

She’s a Darklord now too

[ashestoashesjc]

[spdy4]

This what my phone translates the last card to

[ygosideblog]

hey guys guess what

her old friends joined her

[smooththegoofyshark]

Good for them fuck shit up ladies

[boobiemom]

I wanna add those two girls’ names as cards, and they’re pretty great names. 

Also they are 100% drawn to be placed at Condemned Darklord’s sides. 

This is what peak polyamory looks like.

[thetetrarchyofcassidy]

Any girls wanna get corrupted together and then have hot gay sex maybe?

[ygoheritageposts]

Yu-Gi-Oh! Heritage Post

[jaubaius]

This kind of bread could be dangerous because when you start eating it you won’t stop.. But it’s delicious

How to make it /youtube

[terribleadventuresdotcom]

oh god. oh fuck. oh jesus. fucking. oh my gosh. god damn shit fuck. oh my god. dear lord satan. christ on a bicycle. shitting shit shit fuck. son of

[notallfay]

I want it all in my mouth, I’m just imaging how amazing that texture is going to feel.

[cassianandfenrysaremyboyos]

I am consuming a media and you are going to hear about it

[lu-sn]

and the thrilling sequel: i consumed a media months ago and you are still hearing about it

[freenarnian]

and the cautionary conclusion: the media has consumed me

[mylittleredgirl]

tumblr on goncharov (1973): i have not consumed a media and you are still going to hear about it

[depsidase]

[andrearrrrr]

harvesting cinnamon

[shitkicker-deluxe]

...How did it ever occur to someone that this was edible?...

[gunsandfireandshit]

I mean, I'm guessing some variation of "hey that tree I used as firewood sure had some good smelling smoke and made the food we cooked over it better, I wonder what else we could do with it . . . "

[r4cs0]

Yea, that or

[knightoflodis]

I mean. There’s foods out there that if you don’t cook them exactly right they will kill you. Humans have been trying absolutely everything to see what they can eat.

[weaselle]

there is a shark. The greenland shark. It lives in the ocean where humans naturally die. At depths that would crush a human. In water so cold it would very quickly kill a person. It’s a big shark, 20ish feet. Several have been found with polar bear in their stomach. They live hundreds of years. To keep from freezing, their blood is full of anti-freeze chemicals that makes their meat poisonous to humans.

They are considered by humans living near them to be... a delicacy.

Of course you have to bury it for six months to let it ferment the poisons out.

i swear to gods, if it’s on this planet, we will find a way to eat it.

did you know, the first scientists to find a whole frozen mammoth out in the tundra ... cooked some and ate it? Like, they found it and excavated it, and while still on site these 2 professionals with degrees said to each other, oh we gotta eat some of that. It was like 17 THOUSAND years old. They said it tasted bad. No shit. But that’s humans for you.

anyway, the cinnamon harvesting is awesome, never saw that before

[dovewithscales]

Humans are one of the most accomplished omnivores on the planet.

[explorerrowan]

I strongly suspect that the fact that humans are just like this is a factor in why we haven't officially met any aliens. We eat things that try to kill us. We do so A Lot. I think that whatever larger alien entity is in charge of our section of space is like "yeah, we're not going to be the ones that gives those yahoos a hyperdrive. They're going to find out about the Blurpingo Empire that's been invading Sector 7 and the next week the Humans will have a chain restaurant selling Blurpingo-meat burgers. The Humans are a war crime waiting to happen, and we're not unleashing them on the galaxy. They can stay on their own little backwater mudball."

[teaboot]

Too bad the prophet Cassandra never met Odysseus

[teaboot]

They say if she made a prophecy Nobody would believe her

[edgar-allan-possum]

I’ve gotta say, that is exactly the kind of stupid thing that probably would circumvent a curse.

[elidyce]

Cassandra: YOU ARE ALL GOING TO REGRET THIS SO MUCH YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW. 

Odysseus: Regret it why?

Cassandra: You won’t believe me if I tell you. If I prophecy, nobody believes me. That is my curse.

Odysseus: … I’m Nobody. Fill me in. 

*A couple of months later* 

Odysseus: HELLO PENELOPE, I AM HERE PRECISELY ON TIME AND NOT YEARS LATE incidentally I rescued and adopted a Trojan seer while I was away, she’s great, got me home really fast, Cassandra this is your new mother who’s not going to treat you like shit. 

Penelope: … I’m going to need more details, but okay, sure. 

Cassandra: *in tears* I love you, new family. 

[cipheramnesia]

Cassandra: Penelope, I’ve had another vision.

Penelope, sighs: Go tell your father.

[plush-anon]

#awww #wholesome greek mythology #bet you’ve never seen that phrase before (via @philosopherking1887)

[opheliedulac]

rbing again bc i saw someone noting that Odysseus isn’t technically Nobody until after he blinds Polyphemus, which, correct and fair.

But consider: Odysseus is exACTLY the kinda smartass who’d chime in “oh i’m Nobody” just off the fuckin’ cuff if presented with “Nobody will believe me!” Like it’s a Dad Joke. 

[elidyce]

That was my exact reasoning! I mean, if he could come up with ‘Noman’ on the spur of the moment once, surely when presented with an opening like this he would go straight to ‘… hi, I’m Nobody’. The man may not have always been pleasant, but he *was* always wily. 

I remain extremely proud of this post. It’s nice to see it still going around. 

[daily4taro]

Jotaro doing pushups please

[fangusklot-deactivated20191109]

g-gramps….

[sexysilverstrider]

reminder that sakura fucking snapped a staff into two

[pochacco]

clearance that isn’t under like $15 is an abomination and doesn’t have the right to even call itself clearance