[chudere]

@chudere blog navigation! 　status: slow writings . . . 💭

about me 🧸

esmerei 　| 　nineteen ⠀ she/any ⠀ university student

⌗🖇️ : 　 about me ⠀ m.list ⠀ rules + taglist

objectives: drafts & when the cameras stop

© chudere | all rights reserved to me. please do not repost, plagarise, translate, or feed any of my work to ai!

[chudere]

seeing if sakadays men melt into the kiss

gaku is an extremely touchy person, so ultimately he folded immediately. right after you cupped his face in your hands—leaning in for a kiss, his arms collapse to close you in his warm embrace. pulling you closer and closer—even though there’s no room between you guys.

nagumo is a jokester. he’ll more than likely know what you’re trying to accomplish. of course he’ll kiss you kiss back, but his arms stay right where you put them. pulling away, you see an evident smirk on his face. “if you want me to hold you, just ask. i’ll never deny that.” then dipping you, and connecting your lips.

uzuki doesn’t know what to do—he’s stiff. his arms continuing being in the air. as you’re about to pull away with a little disappointment, he grabs you right back in hard embrace. deepening the kiss—feeling you slight smile. his ears were a little red after this, but who’ll notice?

natsuki maybe is a little more than confused. you’ve pulled more than shenanigans on him. after you pulled his arms up—he’s scared that you’ll tickle him maybe… after lots of convincing he went through with it. he’d probably reluctantly melt into it. unsure of where to put his hands—ends up going for a hug kiss!

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[chudere]

bllk men love language(s)

sae is for sure an acts of service man, with a penchant for quality time. he pays attention to you a lot, so that means if he notices something that could potentially bother you, he’ll fix it before it actually can. he doesn’t see how words hold any sentimental value, can you really base off words alone? so he shows it. he stays in bed longer to cuddle (even if it disrupted his schedule), peeling the skin off an orange for you, and indulging you in your sometime idiotic behavior.

-

rin is the embodiment of quality time—he loves you through shared presence. you could quite literally be doing anything, and he’d rather sit by you and watch you do whatever, than be far away. just like his brother, he’s quite observant as well. he’ll notice small details, and point the out suddenly. even if he can’t show his love verbally enough, you know better than anyone he has heart eyes when you walk past.

-

nagi loves being skin to skin with you. if he could, he’d spend the rest of his life clinging on to you! always leaning against you, intertwining your fingers, or sleeping near you. he finds it easy to be around you, it means a lot to him that he prefers your presence over solitude. maybe it’s not so bad having a 190cm clingy boy on your back all the time!

-

reo is a man with money at his fingertips, so evidently he’ll spoil his lover endlessly! he doesn’t even look at the price tag, if he sees something that will looking dazzling on you, best believe he’s buying it without a second thought! him spoiling you rotten doesn’t drop at material items, it’s in his words. he’ll always make sure you’re never having a doubt in your mind that you don’t deserve so much. after all, it’s his decision to love you so much!

-

kaiser loves with praise. it may not come too often, but it’s always simple. he never puts you on a pedestal or grace, more like a “good job” every now and then. he loves with intensity. he holds onto you for his own reassurance and control. he wants you to constantly have him in your head, and think that he’s irreplaceable. he loves arrogantly, always sure that you’ll unconditionally love him with no mistakes, but sometimes that ideology cracks a little, and he holds on a little tighter than before.

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[chudere]

୨୧ RAGEBAITING BOYFRIEND! ENHA . . .

note ; guys college has been eating me ALIVE! this is not fun when winter break comes around and that month break is saving me i will get back into writing ASAP. there was a ni-ki bday tidbit there’s a draft i have for his bday but by the time this is posted it lowkey already passed so. idek if i wanna even write it fully anymore…. okay thank you bai world love you!

[chudere]

you absolutely are obsessed with teasing the hell out of your boyfriend sakusa. he’s so stoic that when his facade cracks, it’s comedic.

though, right now he can barely register anything else, but your pretty face.

sakusa had gone into surgery, and the effects of anesthesia clearly hadn’t worn off yet. not when he stares at you like you’re the sun, moon and stars that decorate the sky.

“omi.. do you need anything? i know you’re still somewhat tired.”

“…you’re so pretty. do you think my girl would be mad if she knew i said that to you?”

you can’t help but burst out laughing at his silly, delirious state. there’s not a thought behind those eyes right now.

“i am your girlfriend. the anesthesia is really hitting you, hm?”

you swear his pupils just blow up. sakusa looks more in love with you right now than he ever did.

“so i can kiss you? right?”

“of course” you smiled before pressing a chaste kiss to his lips.

even though he’s on cloud nine right now, that kiss might’ve sent him to heaven.

“thank you, pretty lady… i love you.”

the little cackle that escapes you is out of your control, you’re too used to him being so standoffish, but now he’s just like any other lovesick puppy.

“i love you too, omi.”

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[chudere]

sae isn’t the type of boyfriend to say he’s gonna wait outside the makeup store. if anything, he’d be glad to go anywhere with you.

so here he is, standing with the basket in hand, while you swatch lippie shades on his wrist and forearm. ranging from nude to red to pink! he’d almost look bruised at a first glance.

halting your swatching to take a look at the shades.

“hmm, what do you think, sae?” you said while looking up to meet his face.

“the pink or nude shades are better for your everyday looks.”

you nodded along with him, happily putting one of the shades you pick out of the many.

“why only one?” he asked suddenly, with a look of confusion.

“because…? i only need one? i can get the others another time, i don’t want this trip to be too much.”

now, it’s time for his offended reaction. too much? what do you think he is, broke? he doesn’t get paid in the millions just for it to be left on side and forgotten.

“…don’t be silly. pick all the ones you want, there’s nothing known as ‘too much’ when it comes to you.”

you ended the shopping trip with more lippies in the double digits, and that doesn’t even include the other things he insisted he needed to buy for you. isn’t he such a sweetheart!

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[chudere]

I’LL GIVE YOU ALL MY LIFE, MY SEASONS

synopsis ⠀ : ⠀ growing up with someone like sae itoshi was a roller coaster. constant bickering—though they all remained harmless and humorous, coupled with late nights in each other companies while being raw to your emotions. let’s say, you’ve been stuck with him for years. let’s see how you guys grow, as the seasons past.

content warning ⠀ : ⠀ wc: 1523, not proof read, fem! reader in mind, but i think any work, ooc! sae(?), childhood to current sae, fluff, angst if you squint, pining, skinship, teenage awkwardness, sae being a little slow to his feelings, and small rin cameo for fall

a/n ⠀ : ⠀ this is my ‘birthday’ special for sae!!! i think it’s a bite sized piece. this was inspired by seasons w2e! i miss listening to them so much, and when people were so performative. peak tiktok era. alright esme out, i have so much work, mwa

summer

if sunshine was on a platter, anyone would think it’s summer. with a popsicle in your hand, you melt along with it. sure, it’s fun and a refreshing break, but can you enjoy it when the sun is beating down on you, as if you were the moon? well, you only stuck around because sae still wanted to play soccer. he didn’t care, as long as the field was clear, soccer ball in sight, and there was no rain, he’d be playing soccer.

“saeee! hurry up!” you’re exhausted, even sitting down is too much right now.

“hah? no way! i can still play soccer.”

you groan in annoyance to his response. without realizing your popsicle had melted apart, and fallen on the ground. it was a trivial thing, truly. but, you’re barely a kid who just gained consciousness. tears were already swelling up in your eyes, on the verge of falling down your face.

maybe sae had a sixth scent when it came to you, because he finally faced you before the first sniffle could be heard.

leaving his soccer behind, he walks up to your crying self, holding your face up with his hands.

“hey, stop crying. you look…stupid. we can always get another one. ‘kay?”

wiping your tears away, he held your hand, pulling you to get another popsicle for your tears. maybe he was the sunshine served on a platter for you.

fall

the winter is growing gloomy, and it’s time for warm drinks, weighted blankets, and scarfs coupled with puffer jackets, to come out of the depths the closet. so that’s where you’ve found yourself now, making hot chocolate and baking strawberry shortcakes.

no responsible adult would ever let some middle school teenagers in a kitchen unsupervised, with boiling hot beverages and an oven, but the itoshi parents were never home. so, did it really matter?

now, sae is hovering over you constantly, scared you’d somehow spill the kettle carrying boiling hot water.

“sae, if you keep breathing on my neck, i will spill it, and i will burn.”

he was reluctant on backing off, but after weighing the choices, he settled for the former.

“sorry, you’re a pretty clumsy person. i gotta make sure you don’t suddenly let out a screeching scream with a red mark on your skin.”

rolling your eyes at his response, you continue on making the drinks. adding marshmallows and swirling it around, you pass a mug to sae. he was about to take a sip out of it before stopped him.

“hey! no, give that to rin.”

he gave you a deadpan look and giving it to rin. “you could’ve started off with that.”

“whatever..here’s yours.”

sae happily took it and hold it up for a cheers. all three of you guys clashed your mugs, as if it was a frat party. as the clink! rang in the kitchen, a beep came from the oven signaling the shortcake were ready.

it’s times like these are the most cozy. indulging in each other’s company through sweets and soft laughters under a blanket. maybe this could come second to soccer in sae’s book.

winter

it’s been 4 years since sae’s left, and now he’s back. like face to face back, not just in a dream. he’s in-front of you, but he looks like a stranger almost. heavy eye bags with a frown plastered on his face.

it’s past his birthday, but how could that stop you from giving him a gift? it’s better late than never.

sae stares at the gift you extended out in your hands, brows furrowed.

“what’s this for?”

“it’s for your birthday silly! even if it’s a little late…” you whispered the last part to yourself. pushing the gift into his arms. “well, open it!”

he sighed before indulging you in your shenanigans. in it, it contained a handwritten letter, the other part of a matching bracelet, and a watch that costed way too much to be an everyday purchase.

if it were anyone else, he’d say that the bracelet was childish—all of this was silly. it’s past his birthday what’s the point? but knowing you, he didn’t bother to question it further.

“i’m assuming you have the other bracelet to this one?”

“well, duh! you want to match with someone else other than me?” you show him if resting your wrist.

the matching bracelet had a charm of a sun and moon, and they’re cut so that when you put together, they’re whole again.

he click his tongue letting out a tch! he opened the letter to read it, but you snatched it away before he could.

“no way! read it when i’m not here…”

“why?”

“so, if you hate it or find it corny cringey, or whatever, i won’t have to see that face of yours.”

his gaze then fall on the watch. it fit his style sure, but it didn’t fit into your everyday budget. would you spend so much on materialistic items?

before he could ask anymore questions, you grabbed by the wrist and dragged him out of the house.

“come on! let’s go get a treat for your late birthday, yeah?”

“seriously? i can’t, my trainer—“

“who cares! indulge me, please? i’ve missed you. do this for me before you disappear again.”

he’s staring at the back of your head, unsure of what to do. indulging you? could he do that? should he do that? then again, he can already imagine the pout that decorates your face if he refused.

“…just a bite.”

“good. and not just a bite! you’re gonna enjoy the food.”

all he could do is stare. what is wrong with you? he’s been different, the moment he stepped foot back in japan, he didn’t have that same personality as before.

yet, you still treat him with more care than ever. no matter how sharp his words hit, you still flash him that stupidly bright smile. it makes him think, is there still a place in his heart to be how he was before?

no point in thinking about it right now. it’s his late, but special day, let him indulge in the warmth he lost when he was in spain. before the only time he can ever feel this sliver of warmth is through the phone.

spring

the flowers are blooming, decorating the air with scents that makes your head spin with delight. currently, you’re with sae in spain. you’re both adults now, allowing you to do whatever you feel like without being stopped.

you’re sitting on a swing set, rambling to your heart’s content. you had this low feeling of something being off with sae… but as always you pushed it away. he’s not the type to vent openly, and even a slimmer chance in a public place like a park.

you don’t realize it, but sae has a faint love struck look in his eyes. he’s glad you visited, he hasn’t seen you in over a year. being separated by the distance and only able to hear your voice or see your smile on his phone screen.

he gently got off the swing, making you stop your talking. gazing up at him, you tilt your head in confusion.

“what’s wrong sae?”

he meets your eyes, and if anyone cared to stare at his face enough, they’d see a slight shift in it’s expression. grabs your cheeks in his hand, squeezing them.

you’re first reaction is to of course grip his wrist and try to pry his hand off your face.

“sae! get off of me!” your words are mumbled—it seemed to go into one ear of his before it comes out the other.

“you’re so cute, it’s maddening. if you keep looking like that, i’m going to eat you alive.”

now it’s your turn to give him a deadpan look, seriously? cute aggression got him like this? you finally pry his hands off your face.

you turn away, whispering a “you’re so weird…” under your breath as a faint pink covers your cheeks.

with no thought, a simple phrase slipped out of his mouth.

“i love you.”

your eyes go wide, whipping your head back to him. he still has that unfazed look on his face—it’s almost as if he didn’t realize that he said he loved you!

“are you…here? are you on autopilot?”

he frowns a little, “i just said i love you, and you don’t have the decency to say it back?”

“sae—“

“say it.”

you look into his eyes for any mockery or tease, but it’s just anticipation for four simple words. after keeping eye contact for what felt like minutes, you folded.

“…i love you too, sae.” he cupped your face, more gentle now.

“you know, i didn’t think i’d ever confess in a public place, where people could hear. nor would it be as simple as this. let me have the chance to take you out, and confess properly yeah?”

you let out a soft laugh. “sure sae, i’ll go out with you.”

the sun was never too bright, he was just looking at the wrong. now that he has you, maybe he could handle a few sunburns.

[chudere]

i see bllk x enhypen literally PEAK omg.. so cool

HELL YEAHH 👅 #youknowball

[chudere]

sae isn’t the type of boyfriend to say he’s gonna wait outside the makeup store. if anything, he’d be glad to go anywhere with you.

so here he is, standing with the basket in hand, while you swatch lippie shades on his wrist and forearm. ranging from nude to red to pink! he’d almost look bruised at a first glance.

halting your swatching to take a look at the shades.

“hmm, what do you think, sae?” you said while looking up to meet his face.

“the pink or nude shades are better for your everyday looks.”

you nodded along with him, happily putting one of the shades you pick out of the many.

“why only one?” he asked suddenly, with a look of confusion.

“because…? i only need one? i can get the others another time, i don’t want this trip to be too much.”

now, it’s time for his offended reaction. too much? what do you think he is, broke? he doesn’t get paid in the millions just for it to be left on side and forgotten.

“…don’t be silly. pick all the ones you want, there’s nothing known as ‘too much’ when it comes to you.”

you ended the shopping trip with more lippies in the double digits, and that doesn’t even include the other things he insisted he needed to buy for you. isn’t he such a sweetheart!

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[chudere]

sae birthday tmr.. who’s excited (unless it already happen for some of u guys) i will be writing something special for him soon ^.^

[chudere]

　　⠀ ⋆✴︎ 　⠀ esmerei’s m.list

⠀ ۶ৎ 　 blue lock

sae itoshi boyfie hcs

shopping for lippies with sae

bllk men love language(s)

⠀ ۶ৎ 　 haikyu

kiyoomi under anesthesia

⠀ ۶ৎ 　 sakamoto days

gaku bicep thirst

roomate! gaku hcs ⌗nsfw

melt into the kiss

⠀ ۶ৎ 　 enhypen

roomate! ni-ki texts: 1 2 3 4

idol childhood bsf! ni-ki texts

when the cameras stop smau

ot7 ragebaiting enha boyfies

[chudere]

sae boyfie headcanons! 　

୨୧ 　 he likes to keep you out of the public eye. which shouldn’t be too surprising. he wants his soccer career to be about. well. his soccer skills. not his partner, even if they’re truly amazing in every aspect of life. your relationship isn’t a secret, but no one has any photos displayed on online magazines spouting the latest scoops they dug up from the depths of hell.

୨୧ 　 he has to travel a lot for his games, which means, time away from each other. despite the time crunch life he is almost always on, he makes sure to at least do something to make up for it. well, that is if he didn’t take you with him.

୨୧ 　 on the topic of these long trips due to his career, he’d keep something of yours on him, just for when he misses you too much. it can range from perfume to love notes you’ve written, it helps ground him. this may happen every night btw…

୨୧ 　 he adores you most openly when you’re asleep. those nights where your limbs are entangled and he looks over at your pleasant sleeping face, there’s a slight smile of content plastered on his face. it gives him a type of peace that you’re here, and you want to be there, in his arms.

୨୧ 　 you can’t really ask the question of ass or tits to a guy like him. even if he does think that ass is obviously better for anyone how can this be canon bro his favorite attribute of yours is probably your scent or smile. if you leave your perfume somewhere, best believe he’ll be spraying a little on his wrist so anyone who walks past knows he has a girl and his girl smells good.

୨୧ 　 it’s a secret of his that he keeps a baby picture of you in his wallet. he looks at it every so often or when he pays for you he thinks you’re the most precious thing to ever grace the earth. he’s glad that you’ve found comfort and safety in him, and he’ll continue taking care of you until he dies of old age. but, who’d admit this out loud?

୨୧ 　 secret undercover yearner lowkey. he had a photo album filled with you. he looks at it during his breaks between practices. god, your smile is contagious in these pictures. when can he finally squeeze you to death again? who knows. he has a face while reminiscing, let’s just say his teammates don’t let him live it down.

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[chudere]

IDOL CHILDHOOD BEST FRIEND RIKI texts . . .

note ; wow angst is really my forte guys. also guys, sorry for the slight implied living in japan thing, it just made sense with childhood friend. i’ve been feeling quite down because of school but i’m planning to #getbackinnit! hope you guys understand and take this ni-ki light angst crumb ^_^ mwa

[chudere]

ahh omg tysm for 200 guys 😊 i promise i have things written up (21 drafts in total LOL) but currently have like 2 projects for college and am STRESSING i will post it as soon as i can

[chudere]

୨୧ ROOMATE! NISHIMURA RIKI texts . . .

part one | part two | part three | part four

note ; i couldn’t help myself i needed some angst sorry guys… i need to make an actual masterlist for all of my posts and this series too brb guys this will happen soon

[chudere]

୨୧ ROOMATE! NISHIMURA RIKI texts . . .

part one | part two | part three | part four

note ; i lowkey wanted to make him grovel more but i didn’t have anymore ideas + would’ve been like so boring and repetitive so i decided to wrap it up with this ^_^ i hope i didn’t disappoint! i wanted a happy ending but a sad ending at the same time, but the council wanted happy, so i shall deliver happy 🤍 also, anyone in this taglist is just in this one alone. if you wanted to be in a taglist specific to roomate riki or just all of my riki works do lmk since im not so sure!!

taglist — @justpassingdontworry @ddeonuswife @devdozes @whydolife @thisisnotjacinta @dolletwons @slut4heespam @rikigoonette @giannaissocute @frikimura @lovingjongseong @htaesans @nekobbin @rikismura @sugarrtalk @enhawonnie @emechannn @whothefvckami @tokkisluv @luvkiyomi

[chudere]

Um i just finished reading the texts.. you better make another part (no rush seriously i just cant live w the fact that riki doesnt like me)

like maybe make him reach to yn after years to like grab coffee or wtv 🥹🥹🥹🥹

hehe i will post the next part hopefully in 2-3 days since i do want to at least start my smau a little ^_^ and other writings of roomate riki is in store watch out