you can’t just say fortasse

❣ 20 | lynnie ❣

[circeiously]

࿐ classics student on her last linguistic leg

࿐ aspiring medievalist

࿐ nico robin enthusiast

࿐ main: @mydearlybeloathed

[pmamtraveller]

Mammal in a Sunday Dress, by Georgina M. Cox, 2026

[currentlycryingaboutlancelot]

oh and something else about odysseus’ homecoming that’s stayed with me from a class I took forever ago was that his dog argos dying when he comes home is kind of a mercy. because odysseus is in disguise when he returns. and argos gets excited and recognizes him. if argos hadn’t died odysseus might have had to kill him

[raskolnikv]

#i love dogs a lot but i just cannot find the argos episode sweet or sentimental#i have some not-fully-thought-out idea about argos as a contrast to the enslaved women that telemachus later hangs#like in book 20 when odysseus sees them going to bed with the suitors he tells himself#τέτλαθι δή κραδίη: καὶ κύντερον ἄλλο ποτ᾽ ἔτλης#lit. 'endure my heart: you once endured a more dog-like thing' (and then goes on to name to the time the cyclops ate his men)#and the way dogs are rhetorically synonymous with shamelessness in homer#idea of a loyal dog is fairly oxymoronic in homeric animal symbolism. priam knows that when he dies his dogs will eat his body.#i think the effect is supposed to be that argos the literal dog has more shame and propriety than the enslaved women#they are more dog-like and have less sense of their proper place than a literal dog#so. not really a feel-good reunion moment there.#but yeah. if argos hadn't died odysseus would have killed him just like he killed those twelve girls. without a second thought. (via)

[evilios]

The tradition allowing her to choose her own husband develops this emasculating innuendo, assigning Helen a male prerogative that places Menelaus in the position of a bride. Nor did Helen, like most women, relocate to her husband’s household upon marrying him; instead, the couple remained at her home in Sparta, an unusual practice that places the woman in a much stronger position and is associated with greater female authority. When Helen sails away to Troy with Paris she thus jeopardizes her husband’s status at Sparta, which is dependent upon his wife. That departure, in pursuit of her own desire, is itself a usurping of masculine prerogative made possible by Menelaus’s failure to exercise proper husbandly control.

— Ruby Blondell, Helen of Troy: Beauty, Myth, Devastation

[charlesoberonn]

Mammu! Finius and Ferbingetorix built Rome in a day!

[charlesoberonn]

[charlesoberonn]

[asphor]

I feel like this also implies that rome is somehow being destroyed by the end of the day

[charlesoberonn]

The Emperor Constantine loves Finius and Ferbingetorix's "New Rome" so much that he makes it his new capital and names it after himself.

[asphor]

Yeah that checks out.

What's the doofenschmirtz contraption/scheme of the day?

[charlesoberonn]

Doofenric the Ostrogoth (insert jokes about his daughter Vanessa being "Goth" but in the modern sense) invented a City-Mover-Inator to move Rome across the Danube so his Germanic confederation could sack it.

Thankfully, Agent Pericles stops him by redirecting the Inator to Finius and Ferbingetorix's New Rome instead, moving it to the Bosphorus.

[charlesoberonn]

While Pericles and Doofenric are fighting over the controls of the Inator, it gets accidentally changed to paint remover mode and then fired at a random direction.

Somewhere nearby a painter just finished coloring the statue of the emperor when suddenly all the paint gets removed.

Painter: Aw...

Painter, giving it a second look: Hmmm... 🤔

[charlesoberonn]

Candysseia: What animal even is Pericles?

Finius: We named it "platypus", meaning flat-foot.

Ferbingetorix: On account of his feet being flat.

Candysseia: And where did he come from?

Febingetorix: We have no earthly idea.

[charlesoberonn]

Doofenric the Goth: Pericles the- wait, what animal even are you, Agent Pericles?

Pericles: *hands him papyrus*

Doofenric: *reading* A "platypus", meaning flat-foot... oh, on account of your feet being flat!

[charlesoberonn]

To be clear, the Emperor Constantine looks like Roger Doofenshmirtz.

Also, I agree with everybody who says that Greco-Roman Candace's name should be Candassandra (since nobody believes her warnings).

[o-craven-canto]

Alternate timeline in which all Greek and Latin roots are swapped:

catastrophe -> contraverse cephalopod -> capitoped chlorophyll -> viridofolia democracy -> populimpery homicide -> anthropoctony homosexual -> equigamic kilometer -> millimensure interregnum -> mesarchy magnanimous -> megapsychic manuscript -> chirography motorcycle -> ergatorote microscope -> parvovisor oxygen -> acidofex polyamory -> multierasty television -> remotoscope universe -> monostrophe

[superchat]

the Douglas MacArthur roleplayer has logged on...

[kallistoriae]

CASSANDRA: the child outstretches handsfull of flesh. please don’t forget me. it is written, written in clear black—everywhere dead girls. dead girls. the sadness washes all the rest away

— Oresteia, Robert Icke

IPHIGENIA: Hold me. Please. I can feel the dead girl's breath inside this dress. I feel all the dead through me.

VIOLETA IMPERIAL: Girls die everyday here, and no one mourns them.

— Iphigenia Crash Land Falls On The Neon Shell That Was Once Her Heart, Caridad Svitch

CLYTEMNESTRA: It’s becoming a habit. Soon it’ll be normal and before you can turn round it’ll be a law. Before it was ring giving, ring taking, ships of gold and ships of spices, poets and harpists in the banquet hall. And if a sacrifice was wanted it was a calf or a deer. Now it’s girls. The blood of spotless girls these new gods want. What is this terrible new pact among men?

— Girl on an Altar, Marina Carr

[finnegeanscake]

Knightposting this princessposting that WHO IS TILLING THE FIELDS

[dionysiaproductions]

You don't hear from the field workers because they aren't "posting"

They're serfing the internet

[thoodleoo]

classicists will make the ugliest least functional website in the history of html and it will contain the entire library of fragmentary papyri of the works of aeschylus. for free

[gay-for-helen]

A lot of people like the headcanon that Aphrodite appears differently to each person depending on what their ideal of beauty is, but I don't think we talk enough about the potential of Helen doing the same thing.

Leda gives birth to the daughter of Zeus, and everyone says she is the most adorable baby they have ever seen. But no one can agree on the color of her hair or the shape of her features. When the young Helen looks in the mirror, she thinks she looks just like her big sister, the most beautiful woman she can imagine. But when she says as much to Clytemnestra, her sister is confused. Helen is unlike any woman she has seen in Sparta, she says, with forest-green eyes and hair like sunlight on wood.

Helen starts training with the other girls, and she sees less and less of Clytemnestra in her reflection. Instead, she sees the warm brown eyes of the visiting prince who smiled at her across the table, the square jaw of the girl who pinned her in wrestling practice and shot her a wink before she rose. The sons of Atreus come to stay in Sparta, and after a few conversations with the younger brother, Helen finds that her hair has turned his exact shade of red. It stays that way for months after he leaves, and so when scores of suitors arrive hoping to claim the woman of their dreams, he is the one she picks. And they rule together, and laugh together, and lie together, and he tells her that he loves her. But in the long hours of the night, she can't help but wonder if he would still say so if her face wasn't perfectly tailored to his desires.

She is the woman of every man's dreams, and so of course she is the perfect prize for the goddess of beauty to promise the Prince of Troy. With Paris, it is never a question of whether or not he loves her- if she were not a perfect beauty in his eyes, he would have stayed with his first wife, with whom Helen is certain he had more to talk about. In Troy, she is never just Helen. The women look at her and they see the sister that was taken in a raid, the husband that was killed on the battlefield, and they despise her.

And are the Greeks any better? Her unnatural beauty called them to the shores of Sparta all those years ago, drove them to make a pact that only one of them stood to gain from. They have been at war for ten years because of her, they mutter, and so they despise her too. But when they have her in their clutches at last and they gather together to stone her to death, she lifts her veil, and the stones drop from their hands. She bears the face of the wife they have spent ten years yearning for, the lover they lost to a Trojan blade, and not one of them can bring themself to kill her.

The gift of her beauty saves her life, and the curse of her beauty condemns her. Because for the rest of her life, she will be the most beautiful woman in the world, a woman who brought so much suffering and death simply by existing, a woman who escaped the war unscathed but bears the face of every soul lost in it. She will always be someone else's Helen, and she will never know who she is when no one is looking.

[circeiously]

someone's probably done this already but here's my translation of the latin in Your Idol from kpop demon hunters because i clocked that dead language so fast. it was embarrassing how excited i got. now using this as motivation to actually practice latin whoops.

full disclosure ive only had one full year of wheelocks latin under my belt so if someone more knowledgeable finds this please gimme some feedback. i have nothing but my cassels dictionary, latin is simple, and a dream.

The whole chant goes like:

Dies irae illa vox solve in favilla, maledictus erus, in flamas eternum.

Now here's a breakdown as I work through the vocabularly.

Dies = nominative, singular form of dies/diei, which means "day" it could also be the accusative, plural but i have a feeling its gonna be the subject. Irae = the genitive, singular form of ira/irae, which means "of anger." Illa = fem nom sing of ille, illa, illud, which means "that" Vos = this is the plural nominative or accusative form of the pronoun tu, which means "you" but in a plural sense Solve = okay this is where i started to have trouble. i think this is the imperative form of solvo solvere solvi solutum, which has a wide meaning. the imperative means we should be looking at a command here. basic meaning is "to loosen" but im thinking its not that. another meaning is "to release" which i think makes more sense in this context. In = could be "in" or "into". one of the more simple latin words. Favilla = favilla/favillae means "glowing ashes." fun! it's in the ablative case, and connected to the "in" it means "into ashes." Maledictus = this is an adjective in the masc sing nom, meaning "cursed." Erus = erus/erui is like, the master of a house or owner Flamas = pretty intuitive here, but flamma/flammae is a flame, blaze, blazing fire. Flamas specifically is the accusative plural, so it'll translate to the direct object. Eternum = again pretty intuitive. i did have trouble here again because my dictionary has this in as aeternum so that took a bit to find. it's in the masculine accusative form of the adjective, modifying flamas to make "eternal flames." i am a bit confused because eternum is singular and flamas is plural, but ive read the vulgate and that doesn't often follow the latin rules, so this isnt unprecedented.

okay now to piece it together.

The first half of the sentence is "Dies irae illa vos solve in favilla" which means "That day of anger/wrath will release you into ashes."

I got the "will release" from the imperative, so it's like a command that you're gonna be released into ashes buddy. i'm not entirely sure this is correct though.

"Maledictus erus" is just "cursed master"

And the last part "in flamas eternum" is just "into eternal flames."

So the whole thing is "That day of wrath will release you into ashes, cursed master, into eternal flames."

My whole latin process is kinda not good because i never really pay attention to the cases or forms and just, go with the vibes. like i know what it's saying i just can't tell you why it says that professor. so this was a good exercise in actually stopping to see what the words are doing.

ALSO there's a gregorian chant called "Dies Irae" so there's probably some inspiration taken from that. the whole "Your Idol" scene gave me such creeps cause it was just so- yeah. this was just for fun and made me feel productive so i hope this was interesting for anyone who made it this far.

[kyleesarthell]

Been daydreaming little videos while listening to music and ended up with this

[maxiemumdamage]

The single funniest thing I learned when studying the Roman Empire is the fact that in his life and centuries after his death, everyone calls Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus…Caligula.

Like. That’s the nickname his dad’s coworkers gave him when he was a literal toddler. It means “little boots” because again, baby in an army camp. And that may as well have been his actual name for how often people called him it.

It’s like being called “King Slugger” for all time.

[ejthepuca]

Is Tumblr a fan of this trend by any chance? Because I spent way too long on this

[akekiitaz]

Hard not to sympathize with the Greeks when menelaus says SHE WAS MY LIGHT BUT SOME THIEF IN THE NIGHT HAS TAKEN HER AND LEFT ME BLIND

[galusandmalus]

collective list of the random shit helen of troy did,

its far to easy to forget that helen is a hero from mythology as well and got up to some wild shit, where is the helaniad retelling "Naturally they weep; but Helen, being a daughter of Zeus, and having learned many counsels from the wise men of Egypt," "Helene, who ate more than any other woman ever did."(he spe-Athenaeus, Deipnosophists

"what time she beheld Canobus, the helmsman, swooning on the sands of Thonis; for as he slept a female blood-letter, on which he had pressed, struck him in the neck and belched forth its deadly poison into him, turning his rest to ruin. Therefore Helen crushed the middle of its trailing shape, breaking the ligatures of the back about the spine, so that the backbone started from its body. "-Nicander, Theriaca "he (Thonis) fell in love with her, and when he attempted to force her to lie with him, the story goes that the daughter of Zeus repeated the whole tale to the wife of Thonis (Polydamna was her name), and she on her side, anxious lest this alien should prove more beautiful than she, removed Helen to the safety of Pharos and gave her a herb disliked by the snakes there; so as soon as they were aware of this, the snakes went underground. But Helen planted the herb and in time it flourished and produced seed disagreeable to the snakes, and in Pharos such creatures have never recurred. Experts in these matters say that this herb is called Helenion." "Canobus, the helmsman of Menelaus, encountered in Egypt during the reign of Thonis; and when Helen realised how strong this venomous, beast was she broke its spine and extracted the poison. But for what purpose she was eager to obtain this precious stuff I am unable to say"-Aelian, Characteristics of Animals

"Some say that Helen was taken away by Alexander when she hunted on the mount of the Virgin" -Photius, Bibliotheca excerpts

"All these personages Helen surpassed in proportion as she excelled them in the beauty of her person. For not only did she attain immortality but, having won power equalling that of a god, she first raised to divine station her brothers, who were already in the grip of Fate, and wishing to make their transformation believed by men, she gave to them honors so manifest that they have power to save when they are seen by sailors in peril on the sea, if they but piously invoke them.

After this she so amply recompensed Menelaus for the toils and perils which he had undergone because of her, that when all the race of the Pelopidae had perished and were the victims of irremediable disasters, not only did she free him from these misfortunes but, having made him god instead of mortal, she established him as partner of her house and sharer of her throne forever." -Isocrates 9, Helen

"The eighth tells about Proteus the Egyptian seer, whose daughter Theonoe fell in love with Kanobos (the steersman of Menelaus from Troy), unrequited. And how Kanobos, who was handsome and young, was bitten by a viper and his leg rotted when Menelaus was taking Helen away from Egypt and they landed their ship. After a little he died and Menelaus and Helen buried him in Egypt where the city named for him now stands."-Conon, Narrations

"Helenium, which had its origin, as I have said, in the tears of Helen, is believed to preserve physical charm, and to keep unimpaired the fresh complexion of our women." -Pliny the Elder, Natural History

(about a cursed tripod, or just a fancy tripod people fight over, given to the wisest man or people will war over it) "There is yet another version, that it was the work of Hephaestus presented by the god to Pelops on his marriage. Thence it passed to Menelaus and was carried off by Paris along with Helen and was thrown by her into the Coan sea, for she said it would be a cause of strife" -Diogenes Laertius, Lives of the Philosophers "and some strangers from Miletus bought the catch as yet unseen. It proved to contain a golden tripod which Helen, on her voyage from Troy, is said to have thrown in there, when she called to mind a certain ancient oracle." -Plutarch, Life of Solon

"for thence he says that Helen brought things of virtue which Polydamna, the Egyptian wife of Thon, gave her; there the grain-bearing earth produces most drugs, many that are good, and many baneful" -Theophrastus, Enquiry Into Plants

"For you may remember the verses of Homer in which he relates how Helen mingled in the bowl of wine certain drugs from Egypt to drown the heartache of the heroes; well, I think that Helen must have picked up the lore of the Egyptians, and have sung spells over the dejected heroes through their bowl of wine, so healing them by a blending of words and wine."-Philostratus "The pan is, it is said, a monstrous sea fish whose appearance reminds one of Pan; in his body is found a stone, the "asterite" which, exposed to the sun, catches fire; it is useful otherwise to make a potion. Helen was in possession of this stone, which carried graven on it the image of the pan fish itself, and she used it as a seal."-Photius, Bibliotheca excerpts edit: the stuff I found later "This seems to be from a story, inasmuch as Helen is said to have received many drugs from the wife of Thon, as Homer [Odyssey 4.228] says: ‘These (drugs) Polydamna, the wife of Thon, gave her—an Egyptian woman—many good ones mixed together, and many baneful ones.’" scholia to euripidies