[zagreus]

remember "q slur" discourse?

[zagreus]

17 year olds deep in high school conformist herd mentality saying "i don't want to be represented by a word that means weird" like come on don't you see that it's cool to be weird? epic to be strange? sexy as hell to be fucked up and perhaps even a little bizarre? feel how affirming it can be to claim that for yourself, to embrace what makes you peculiar in other people's eyes and say "yeah, so? i am what i am and you will accept it"

[bff0f7]

y'all have absolutely no empathy for the generations of gay people up to still to this day who were and are out here getting harassed and the shit beat out of them and straight up murdered for being queer huh, like next time instead of calling me a conformist for not wanting to be called something my dad used to beat my ass with or was bullied in school with and not just for being "lol quirky weird" just say you're sheltered. it isn't queer as in weird it's queer as in you're subhuman and you deserve to be treated as such you fucking moron, not all of us get the luxury or being "weird" freely.

reclamation is only as impactful as the word has impacted you and given the way you seem to believe everyone who is called a slur is only receiving that because they're "peculiar" and not because they're seen as subhuman for their gender or sexuality, something tells me you're reclaiming a word you think is funny and silly and not reclaiming your right to exist as a human being free from harassment

[sheepsbian]

i have known 17 year olds in the last few years still getting called "fucking q***r" by peers on the bus and in school and were lucky if that wasn't followed up with physical harassment. absolutely goddamn callous to pretend they're just uneducated dweebs who don't want to be ~weird~. "remember q slur discourse" there's only discourse because you jackasses have no sense of basic respect or compassion for people other than yourselves.

[meangirlnurse]

what really gets me about this is that….the people who really really want to call me a queer against my will? they have to lie to support their beliefs.

OP very intentionally misrepresents the reason people don’t want to be called a violent slur and claims we ~just don’t want people to think we’re weird~ when they are clearly familiar enough with the conversation to know that people typically don’t want to be called queer because they’re traumatized.

it’s the same as people claiming that “not wanting to be called queer” is a vast secret TERF conspiracy.

because if they say the truth out loud, they sound really, really fucking bad.

so they lie. and they do it on purpose.

if you find you have to lie to make yourselves not sound horrible, maybe it’s time to reevaluate your perspective.

[lgbtpolitics]

This post hit pretty much every beat of bad faith arguing

[cismasculine]

whoever came up with "no uterus, no opinion" was right tbh

[esperantoauthor]

[mini-wrants]

Love it when people act like proving “rape or incest” exceptions for abortion are even possible, lmao

Quick, prove you were raped so you can access an abortion! How? I don’t know! Maybe you’ll have to get a rape test done at the hospital and prove you have sufficient bruising? Maybe it’ll require filing charges? Maybe it’ll require a full ass criminal trial which is gonna take longer than 9 months, lol.

Prove you were a victim of incest! How? I don’t know, because if you’re a victim of incest you might very well be a young child who doesn’t have the emotional strength and knowledge to even describe the abuse that’s happening to you, let alone advocate for your rights. And even if you are an adult, I dare you to go in front of a judge and detail the sexual abuse from you brother/father/uncle and come out of that untraumatised, all to get permission to have access to abortion. Make sure you get the courage up in just a few weeks!

What about threats to life of the mother exceptions? Quick! What’s the line you draw there? If a mother has extremely high blood pressure and diabetes and is at risk of death early enough in the pregnancy, is that enough for a termination? What about if the mother has an ectopic pregnancy? Or do we have to wait until the mother is suffering from sepsis and shock, blood poisoning maybe? Do mental health issues ever factor in?

It is literally impossible to place such restrictions on abortion that actually work, that are feasible and acceptable to those that would otherwise ban abortions outright.

Abortion on demand is the only answer.

[mini-wrants]

Like, we don’t believe women who are raped when nothing is on the line. Why would we believe women when they’re trying to access a restricted medical procedure?!

[argumate]

exceptions for rape only make sense in the first place if you're using a "voluntary sex should have consequences" / "pregnancy as punishment for sluts" based framework, it's completely inconsistent with a "save the innocent babies" framework, as many people have pointed out.

making an exception for rape is obviously better than not, and yet in a way it makes the policy even worse.

[jungwildeandfree]

and while we’re at it, fuck this idea that ONE ACCOUNT has to belong uniquely to ONE PERSON. This is the same thing these silicon valley fucks want; their vision of the future where everyone has a unique biometric ID code implanted in their body is the ultimate extension of Netflix’s “no password sharing” policy. You want to use your friend’s car? Sorry, you can’t, you need to be an authorized user. Your mother wants to let you look something up on her OED account? Too bad! That’s only for her! The concept of perfect market efficiency gives them greedy little money bag eyes.

If I pay money to have a newspaper sent to my house, they don’t charge me extra when I show it to my dad. This password sharing thing isn’t just a Netflix problem; don’t be surprised if it shows up elsewhere in other forms. Stamp this idea out now or we’ll be stuck with it.

[intersexelphie]

I want to boost everything this person has said and add on.

The reason I call myself a tomboy now, despite it being seen as a childish word and having had someone swear at me over it because ‘tHeRe’S nO suCh thInG as BoY thInGs anD giRL thIngS sHut uP’ is because I couldn’t call myself that or be like that when I was a kid. It was seen as a negative thing and I was already bullied enough. “Looking like a boy” was the worst thing that could happen to a girl.

And I’m not even 26 yet. We aren’t talking 30+ years ago, we are talking 2000s and even 2010s. It’s only since trans people have become more accepted in the past few years that gender nonconformity has too.

And the people who helped me accept my gender nonconformity more than anyone else? Were trans people. They taught me, “there’s nothing wrong with how you feel. You’re still a valid woman no matter what you wear, how you have your hair or what you’re into ❤️”

And don’t even get me started on how people treat gender nonconforming men. JK Rowling has a lot of nerve to be like “uwu boys can wear dresses and only us gendercrits accept that!” when she has, even in recent works, made femininity in men a negative trait, as well as making masculinity in women a negative trait also.

A lot of people still don’t accept gnc people even now. Just last year I had someone tell me they’d never let their daughter “dress like a boy”, and I’m always terrified to walk into a bathroom in case the next JK Rowling is in there, sees my gender expression and pepper sprays me or worse.

“There’s no such thing as boy things and girl things.” I don’t need to be told that and I’m sure 99% of trans people also don’t need to be told that. Tell that to the society that hates us both instead of actively encouraging that hate.

[androgynealienfemme]

Gonna point out the og tweet thread is now full of terfs saying that life was better for gay people in the fucking 80s, that it was super easy for them to be a tomboy in the 70s and 80s and therefore it must have been that way for everyone, and that it was totally acceptable to be a gnc gay person in the 80s! 🤪

They’re rewriting history as we speak to try to argue trans acceptance is making it harder to be gay and gnc for youth than it was to be gay in the 80s. This is a blatant lie.

[trans-mask-left]

The fucking 80s??? As in, “aids crisis” 80s?? As in, “the government actively avoided funding research to help gay people” 80s????

Man I knew terfism was brain rot but I didn’t think it was this bad.

[socialistexan]

Actually I'm not going to just keep this in the tags

[cismasculine]

susmasculine

tramogus

[trans-axolotl]

as a person who is both trans and intersex, it is incredibly heartbreaking and enraging to see the way transphobic legislation harms both my communities. The bill that just got passed in the house in Idaho, HB 675, specifically has an exception that states that genital mutilation needs to continue to be allowed for intersex children. It makes me fucking furious because these types of bills that ban gender affirming care for trans youth also explictly promote nonconsensual treatment and surgery for intersex youth. It is fucking despicable how much they hate both of us and how willing they are to ignore our bodily autonomy. 

All the right wing arguments about how lifesaving transition is “mutilation” and “sterilizing kids?” In the United States, the people that are actually getting targeted with genital mutilation and nonconsensual hormones are intersex kids, not trans kids. And right wing governments promote and encourage this when it comes to intersex kids. 

As someone who has actually, legitmately dealt with being forced onto HRT (I’m a trans intersex guy who was forced onto estrogen,) it makes me fucking sick to see conservatives using my actual trauma, my pain, to deny trans youth the lifesaving healthcare that they need. They have no right to talk about genital mutilation and nonconsensual HRT while they’re pushing policies that work to eradicate both trans and intersex youth. 

And on a smaller scale, I have to admit it does pain me a bit when I see my trans siblings arguing against these bills by saying stuff like “No one has ever gotten forced onto HRT” or “no one is performing surgery on kids.” It’s true that this is not what’s happening for trans kids, considering how hard it is for trans youth to access any care, but I promise you that this is routinely happening to intersex kids. And it is vital that more people are aware about it because the text of these bills affect us both–both trans and intersex youth are under attack and have been for a long fucking time. Erasing the trauma that intersex youth are going through does not help either of us win liberation. 

As you’re fighting for trans rights, please be aware of how this directly targets intersex youth as well and include intersex people in your activism. Solidarity is so, so crucial.

[elierlick]

FTM Trans Pride 1994

[cismasculine]

being trans sucks because i can't go off into the mountains and become a hermit without needing to come back down into regular society every month for a t shot

[nest-deactivated20181209]

just saw “don’t out a trans person” and “always ask someone’s pronouns” in the same list of How To Be A Good Ally and frankly…… do not always ask someone’s pronouns. please for the love of god do it in private or in an explicitly trans space and then ASK THEM WHERE/WHEN IT IS OKAY TO USE THOSE PRONOUNS. i have been stuck in very uncomfortable situations before where people have asked my pronouns and i have either had to lie or out myself when i wasn’t ready.

[blood-drunk-defiance]

love how many made up sexualities there are. you go you funky little bisexuals in denial and the occasional straight+

[pojkflata]

The reason vaginal atrophy in HRT is rarely discussed isn't because some nefarious boogeyman wants to transgenderficate all your pretty lesbian crushes into chronic pelvic pain it's because people don't give a shit about transmasculine reproductive health and you hijacking the topic for your detransition propaganda will only make things worse as you discourage transmascs from researching the subject and learning that it's treatable

"You'll live with chronic pain for the rest of your life is it worth it" casual ableism aside you're saying that as if vaginal atrophy doesn't happen to half of all postmenopausal people, what makes you think you're immune

[changelingfangs]

Because I am on a mission to make sure everyone knows this and every time vaginal atrophy comes up, I will bring it up: Vaginal atrophy is easily preventable and treatable. if YOU are on T and you're experiencing it, PLEASE let your gyno/HRT doc know. They can prescribe topical estrogen which will treat the issue without interfering with your HRT! I've looked into it a LITTLE and over the counter phyto-estrogen creams seem to have an effect but IDK if I'd 100% trust them. Sorry, this is just super fucking important to me and literally everyone on T needs to know about it because when I was doing the research NO ONE brought up how easily it was treated until I looked into vaginal atrophy itself and found out because of how it's treated in menopausal women. When I talked to the doctor at planned parenthood she echoed this, too. That if vaginal atrophy starts to develop, I should just let her know so she can prescribe me topical estrogen to help! the fact that we aren't fucking told this is PART of the problem. The fact that we're told it's inevitable and untreatable is part of the problem. You don't *have* to deal with that pain and discomfort.

[genderkoolaid]

!!!

Topical estrogen won't affect your T levels either, from what I know. It will just affect the vagina, so you don't have to worry that your transition will be impacted if you do get vaginal atrophy treated. If you are worried about topical estrogen affecting your transition talk to your doctor! There's no reason trans people should suffer out of fear and misinformation.

[canadianwheatpirates]

This is true! Be aware that whether you can get effective treatments over the counter will depend on the exact pharmacy laws in your area -- for example, in NZ it’s a prescription-only medicine (but prescriptions are subsidised so this isn’t too bad).

This matters because there’s a bunch of products out there that claim to treat vaginal atrophy, including lube and “vaginal moisturisers”, which don’t have the estrogen in them that makes it work properly. You’ll probably get some relief from the moisturising but it won’t be reversing the atrophy. These products are available over the counter and one is directly shilled by Buck Angel lmfao so it can be tempting to go for them rather than going through the hassle of getting a script, but please, if you can, get the prescription stuff that works the best ^_^

[spookygayferret]

“Destroy gender roles!” I hope you’re including trans people in that statement? I hope you’re not shaming trans girls who want to be butch or trans guys who want to wear lipstick. I hope you’re not accusing feminine trans guys of “not trying hard enough” or being “confused lesbians”. I hope you’re accepting trans femboys. I hope trans drag kings and trans drag queens are welcome in your spaces. I hope trans women with facial hair and trans men without are being treated well for their choices. “Abolish gender roles” means jack-shit if trans and non-binary people aren’t included.

[yesitsyesten]

“Destroy gender roles!” I hope you’re including cis people in that statement? I hope you’re not calling cis women who want to be butch or cis men who want to wear lipstick “eggs”. I hope you’re not accusing feminine cis men of “not knowing yet” or being “confused transbians”. I hope cis women with facial hair and cis men without are being treated well for their choices. “Abolish gender roles” means jack-shit if cis people aren’t included.

[lgbtpolitics]

Something that annoys me about discourse of whether cishet people should be invited to "LGBT spaces" is that people always seem to act like its mandatory for all places and events to have the same rules or guidelines about it.

People will present will present it like "Cishet people need to be in LGBT spaces because people might be closeted, they might want moral support, exposing people to LGBT events broadens their horizons etc etc" and all of these are true and fair points but there are also lots of reasons why people might want and need exclusively LGBT spaces and thats fine too.

Its one of those things that people treat as an either or situation but its really not. I've been in many LGBT specific places and they're often different from each other. Some of them are LGBT people only and that's it, some are like only LGBT people invited but you can bring your mates or whatever, sometimes it's LGBT friendly, so not all or even not mostly LGBT people but it has a particular emphasis on no homophobia and transphobia. Some things are even deliberately engineered for cishet people to mix with LGBT people when they might otherwise not have. All of these things are good and have their place, they don't contradict each other.

[dashaibo]

So I'm going to do something else I haven't done in a while and talk about trans issues from a non-personal perspective.

I've been watching a YouTube video and the creator raised up this whole "what's the definition of a woman" thing and as I was trying to come up with a non-circular definition that would include trans women, something a lot of people claim is impossible, I've hit a realization.

The whole question and the discussion itself is completely irrelevant, but it's a great example of how mainstreamization of the trans issue has completely poisoned the dialogue and how both sides are equally as guilty of perpetuating this war at the cost of regular-ass cis and trans people.

In late 00s early 10s, when I was just stumbling into realizing I'm trans and all the cringy shit that surrounds the coming-out journey, the discourse was vastly different. Trans people online were mostly adults or, at best, college-age kids and they were mostly anonymous, because the predominant narrative of the time viewed LGBT as a whole as something shameful, but being trans specifically so. We were deemed as freaks, as sexual deviants, men when dressed in panties and masturbated to the idea of themselves raping women.

This, naturally, created an atmosphere of both shame and ensured that a lot of the more open trans people WERE disgusting out-there perverts. Trans wasn't an identity, it was a porn category and that is simply something we had to live with.

But also, at the same time, there was a lot of... Sobriety of thought in those shady discreet online places. The terms MtF and FtM were still in popular use and the whole "trans women are women" thing wasn't yet a popular slogan. People were much more open with saying "yes, I'm a man, but I have a strong desire to be a woman and I want you to refer to me like that".

There's also a reason so many trans people were into the occult, alternative religions or associated with the furry community. The entire belief of reincarnation or being born in the wrong body and the desire to be accepted for who you are inside rather than outside was a very strong thing.

Then shit happened and suddenly the trans identity became mainstream. Older people were dragged kicking and screaming out of stealth and younger people wore their identity loud and proud now that it turned from a secret shame into a publically-accepted thing.

And that angered a lot of people who were content with ignoring us when we kept to ourselves and didn't upset their preconceptions.

And then the younger folk who never knew the secret shame fought these people online and it all devolved into a huge mess.

We used to have genuine discussions that the whole trans thing kind of DID fall out of the gender binary by itself. That maybe we do need a word for a lesbian who would go for a cis woman and a trans man and a lesbian who would go for a cis woman and a trans woman. Or both. Or neither. Because all four of these kinds of people existed and it was a complicated situation and there was dialogue and discussion.

But then "trans women are women and trans men are men" became our rallying cry and while I completely understand the sentiment, it also made a lot of things a lot more complicated and it started all these completely needless semantics wars.

"Trans" is there for a reason.

And in the end, I think, if the two sides actually sat down and talked like adults, we would make a lot more progress as a civilization, you know.

[testosteronebutch-moved-deactiv]

I think a lot about how, with trans people becoming more accepted and trans healthcare becoming more widely available, there are going to be a lot more detrans people in the future simply because the number of trans people is going to increase. And like, I really hope we figure out a better way to deal with detrans people within the LGBT community because the amount of assumptions people make about me and the shit that gets thrown at me for stating that I detransitioned?? Like, some people regretting their decision is always gonna be a part of the outcome when you’re able to make irreversible changes to your body??? We’re gonna have to deal with that in a constructive way, rather than just lashing out and saying you’d never detransition??? ‘Cause it fucking happens sometimes.