Launch Me Into The Sun

Please. Put me out of my misery. [DesertCryptid // 25+ // she/they]

[mumblesplash]

[staggering to my feet and wiping a single perfect drip of blood from my mouth] i have to get back on my bullshit. no matter the cost

[sandandglass]

The Muppets s01e01

[le-sad-demiurge]

Fozzy getting hit on by lots of twinks

[cheshireinthemiddle]

Happy Pride Month

[comicgeekscomicgeek]

Ten years later, this bit still slaps. They made a great pun and realized they could be nice/inclusive with it too.

[charlesoberonn]

Mammu! Finius and Ferbingetorix built Rome in a day!

[charlesoberonn]

[charlesoberonn]

[asphor]

I feel like this also implies that rome is somehow being destroyed by the end of the day

[charlesoberonn]

The Emperor Constantine loves Finius and Ferbingetorix's "New Rome" so much that he makes it his new capital and names it after himself.

[asphor]

Yeah that checks out.

What's the doofenschmirtz contraption/scheme of the day?

[charlesoberonn]

Doofenric the Ostrogoth (insert jokes about his daughter Vanessa being "Goth" but in the modern sense) invented a City-Mover-Inator to move Rome across the Danube so his Germanic confederation could sack it.

Thankfully, Agent Pericles stops him by redirecting the Inator to Finius and Ferbingetorix's New Rome instead, moving it to the Bosphorus.

[charlesoberonn]

While Pericles and Doofenric are fighting over the controls of the Inator, it gets accidentally changed to paint remover mode and then fired at a random direction.

Somewhere nearby a painter just finished coloring the statue of the emperor when suddenly all the paint gets removed.

Painter: Aw...

Painter, giving it a second look: Hmmm... 🤔

[charlesoberonn]

Candysseia: What animal even is Pericles?

Finius: We named it "platypus", meaning flat-foot.

Ferbingetorix: On account of his feet being flat.

Candysseia: And where did he come from?

Febingetorix: We have no earthly idea.

[charlesoberonn]

Doofenric the Goth: Pericles the- wait, what animal even are you, Agent Pericles?

Pericles: *hands him papyrus*

Doofenric: *reading* A "platypus", meaning flat-foot... oh, on account of your feet being flat!

[charlesoberonn]

To be clear, the Emperor Constantine looks like Roger Doofenshmirtz.

Also, I agree with everybody who says that Greco-Roman Candace's name should be Candassandra (since nobody believes her warnings).

[phineas-and-ferb-heritage-posts]

phineas and ferb heritage post

[kosmogrl]

never kill yourself. your next mango is closer than you think.

no joke this is the best thing anyone has ever said to me. you just changed my life

[chirasul]

there's like 10,0000,0 accounts with names like "Best Heritage Posts" and "Tumblr Hall Of Fame Posts" and "So Funny Hellsite Posts" but where's the shitty posts accounts. where's the hall of fail accounts. i want to see the worst of the worst

[shitidiotloserheritageposts]

heritage post

[chirasul]

come on man

[slothful-rabbit]

I laughed so fucking hard at this

[paint-lady]

[yorgen-sh]

[sayhelloanimalfriends]

this is the first time in my life i thought oh i hope there’s music

[beardedmrbean]

[luriuan]

I love how whenever ATLA recognizes Sokka is smart enough to solve a problem but it’d be too fast they just stick him in some kind of situation. Like he COULD’VE stopped jet from drowning a town so they tied him up and dumped him in a forest. He COULD’VE figured out what that spirits deal was so they lost him in the spirit world for 24 hours.

[sailing-ever-west-deactivated20]

One time they just stuck him in a hole in the ground for a whole episode.

[ectojester]

This is how writers should deal with characters who are too smart for the arc instead of making them suddenly dumber for no apparent reason.

If you frequently find yourself in random situations while your friends happen to be experiencing problems maybe you, too, are too smart for the narrative.

[not-deadsummer]

My favorite is that Sokka absolutely would've just navigated them out of the desert, so they had to put him on acid the entire time.

[elinorjaneofmanyfandoms]

One thing AtLA did really well is combine the Smart Guy with the Comic Relief in a way that works. I think it works because Sokka is genuinely skilled in many ways, but in the areas where he isn't, his inexperience, sarcasm, and skepticism is funny.

His sarcasm and skepticism is funny, regardless!

[feministism]

[infiniteoreos]

undiagnosed autistic people will be like "I don't get upset when my routine changes though!!" and it's because they've built a set of if-then loops in their head to pick from one of 6 different strict routines and they do get incredibly upset when they're unable to keep to any of the 6 scripts. I'm john normal

[thundercrackfic]

This is called a fault tree. You will always know how to act if your fault tree captures all possible scenarios. In NASA Mission Control during mission critical events like landings there are huge binders with fault tree protocols, kind of like choose your own adventure books except you’re not the one making the choices, the universe is making them for you and you’re just trying to keep up.

The engineers who develop fault trees, I am told, often imagine new ways for their precious spacecraft to die (new branches on the fault trees) either while in the shower or lying awake at 3am, because human

[toothpaste-footlocker]

[yet-another-autistic-blog]

Was just thinking about this the other day. Yeah I have a favorite seat on the bus (middle of the bus, near the back doors, slightly elevated, facing forward), but I don’t get upset if someone is already sitting there, I just pick one of my other favorite spots. Then I realized that most people probably don’t have a favorite bus seat, let alone a series of backup favorites.

[panpteryx]

[hometoursandotherstuff]

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cwydx34kzlvo

[runcibility]

"Vanderhorst had been under the influence of MDMA and three litres of vodka she had consumed on the night of the offence last September, her lawyer Michael Hill told the court."

three. liters.

[anais-ninja-bitch]

i support women's wrongs

[homoqueerjewhobbit]

[moghedien]

I feel like I need to share this because idk if Europeans are familiar with the presence of Aldi in the US, but at least especially in my area they’ve been growing a lot recently. Like Aldi bought out some local failing grocery chains where I live (Louisiana) and have opened Aldis in all these somewhat rural communities and small towns, which for the record I’m fine with

But as a result of this they are advertising a lot more in my area and also in many cases, the people in these areas have never been confronted with Aldi or any European grocery store. So the ads that Aldi is pushing out to its new US customer base feature a cowboy shopping at Aldi who is explaining to new Aldi customers how Aldi works. Like this cowboy is explaining you gotta put a quarter in the shopping cart and why there are very little name brands. A cowboy is how they want to reach their American customer base. They gave us a cowboy

[moghedien]

Here he is, the Aldi Cowboy

[spicymochi]

animal crossing puppies

[eijiroukiriot]

this is the funniest tweet i’ve seen in months bye

[bigratbastard]

[fxr-yxur-amusement]

[chaos-storm]

[aaawunder]

[nomuru2d]

these are all the geek equivalents of Lovecraft’s Cat’s Name

[official-lucifers-child]

his cats name couldn’t be that bad!!!! it’s a cat, what’s the worst name?

[official-lucifers-child]

i am wrong, what the fuck

[world-heritage-posts]

world heritage post

[malinaa]

what if we all explode

[derring-do]

This very production of Orpheus & Eurydice is now available to stream, free, for the month of June.

[dungeonmastersconsortium]

yeah, sure, it was the "power of friendship" that defeated you, and not my super cool "mega bone explosions" spell that I worked really hard on, whatever idiot