Neurotic and Chaotic @cjharn - Tumblr Blog

vergak

Zillow house listings

aaays-and-bees

>go right

vergak

giugirl743

>go left instead (looks nice and fun!)

vergak

bunjywunjy

>…go back to the right

Go left

Go forward

> Ascend

Go right ->

Open the door! :3c

I wanna see what’s inside!

vergak

Congratulations! You Have Made It To The Ping Pong Chamber!

anachronic-cobra

femme-aphrodite

I love being a LESBIAN I love being a DYKE I love being horny for BUTCHES

#not me but reblogging in solidarity

huffylemon

triviallytrue

aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

friendshapedhole

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

triviallytrue

Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him

max1461

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

triviallytrue

Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I'm confident I can stay out of the gorilla's way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it's all over.

It's not just about the physical danger either, it's about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he's actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance

ghostpalmtechnique

They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.

triviallytrue

if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes

notwiselybuttoowell

Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.

chaumas-deactivated20240115

Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.

nightingalesoul

this is too good to leave hidden in the replies

bermuda-n-drangle

fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard