Clarence Flamboyant: Livin' Large and In Charge

WHO IS CLARENCE FLAMBOYANT www.clarenceflamboyant.com

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Whoever finds the first glove, they can just have the pair. 

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My Scromble is high, my Valence has been infiltrated by thetans.

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People like, literally take the train everyday. Can you imagine? Getting on and off that lil choo-choo McGoo on the daily? DAILY. just let that sink in for you. Does ones dreams become infested with tracks and stations, tunnels and boxcars? Does the conductor know your name? Are you greeted with a thunderous GOOD MORNING SIR from the Gandy Dancer’s & Car Knockers? Does the Cinder Dick invite you and your family over for a rousing bbq on the weekends? The Caboose, the Locomotions, the REVELRY! 

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In conclusion, last night was a land of contrasts

littleorphanammo replied to your photo: GPOYW: You should have seen the other guy… not a…

HOLY FUCK WHAT HAPPENED?!?

I was drinking with my work friends and we decided to have a wrestling match, then a punch each other in the stomach match (always a good time) and from what I remember, punches started getting thrown, then elbows started getting thrown, then chokes started getting thrown, it was a mess until his roommate came down and broke us up (the rest of the guys were just standing around watching), then I immediately went in the bathroom and puked my guts out and passed out. From what I remember and what everyone else remembered I did kind of deserve it, probably not this bad, but I was in the wrong.

But I did win like $30 playing dice at the bar, so it all evens out.

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My hands will make the wine for your sweet lips

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Millions of peaches, peaches for me.

I've been collecting Question Marks and devious semi colons                        

then I put my mark IN the colon, and that was a fucking party                        

but I dropped out of Yale, so, I'll be living in a van down by the river in Philly                        

there are tons of younger people in Philly, but my hands are made of giant peaches and they are a little overriped, and starting to rot. This turns the ladies off, alas.                        

I mean, I heard that bitches like peaches, which is why I decided to undertake the surgery to convert my hands (and fingers!) to peaches, I thought the ladies would come FLOCKING to that sweet peach scent and soft fuzzy texture,                        

and while that was true for a moment, it all went sour when my hands began to rot.                        

Maybe I'll stick em a jar with some yeast and make a schnapps....

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Visit Original Link

background music from windows xp installation. few people actually heard it, because it was set to play before the audio drivers were configured.

filepath: C:\Windows\system32\oobe\image­s\title.w­ma 

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Yeah boiiii Dis my JAM

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So,, I’ve been battling some excess hair growth for sometime now, and it is starting to effect my hearing. Welcome to New York, i guess, right? hahahaah. I think these beautiful tufts give me a sultry, provocative look. What do you think?

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This is how hungover I am today. Let me tell you, nineteen shots of fireball is too many shots of fireball. You’ll literally be shitting out hot cinnamon liquid into some old lady’s face because she had the misfortune of sitting behind you on the bus. At least the poor broad probably got a little bit of a buzz on, that shit was potent AF.

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It’s #SelfieSunday you guys! Here is one of my fave pics of me and my sister and our pet muncherfresh. I look forward to meeting Y’all!

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pouring one out for the hommies today, remembering the great late Bowie and Lemmy. Also, Prince, RIP Prince.

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Oboe jokes are NEVER not funny I tells ya

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Don’t you forget about me

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Reblog this picture of me holding a Family Size box of Honey Nut Cheerios? I’d really appreciate it.

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How can I say no to such a great photo and such a polite request?

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i will always support this post

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@mooserattler back on my dash!

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Why isn’t this at a million notes, yet, Dante???

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I’m not sure. Hey lovely people who have taken me over half way to a cool million! If you’d like to reblog again, I’d love that, if not, I still love you, and hope you’re having a great day. I’m gonna go do some stand up tonight.

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Ole Clarence loves a dang box of cereal, I fully support this rad ass post

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Buzzfeed says “if you can get at least 12 correct, you’re probably a genius.” Well, I think Langblr can get twelve, easily :P

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I got 144!! whoo whoo