bit of a heavy question I know but I feel like you may have some insight to this. I’m currently grappling with the fact that my dog is indeed an old dog now and he is not eternal and actually mortal and subject to many ailments from easily curable to fatal. the question is how do you deal with the loss of a beloved pet or just coming to terms that your pet will indeed die some day?
At the end of the day, the short answer is: you don't.
There is no real way to come to terms with something that doesn't negotiate.
But, the longer answer is that when someone acquires a pet, and accepts the responsibility of providing everything that pet needs for the duration of that pet's life, part of the agreement with the universe is the responsibility of providing a kind death. It's NOT fun. It's not happy. It's not easy in any way. But then, responsibility isn't about being fun or happy or easy.
And for me, at least, recognizing that as part of my responsibility with regards to my pets when I first get them, means recognizing there is an end when I'm at the beginning, and that if I am very lucky, and if my pet is even luckier, my pet will get to live their entire life with me, all the way to that end. They will never have to know what it is like to lose me. They will never have to wonder where I went and when I am coming back. They will never try to call me home when they cannot find me. For a creature I love, I can think of no happier life than that of a pet that is well cared for and gets to spend their life with their favorite person, and who gets to pass gently from the world before their days are too full of pain or suffering.
and that doesn't make it any easier when the time comes, and it doesn't make it suck any less, and it doesn't mean it won't rip your heart out when it happens. and there's not anything you can do to prepare for it, and there's not anything you can do to heal it faster when it happens. The ball will sit squarely on the grief button like it's made of lead, until it doesn't, until it is small and bounces around inside the box and only hits the button sometimes, and every time it does will still hurt like the last time you ever saw them, and there's nothing you can do to avoid it.
but you can make it worth it, while they're still here, because you know they won't be. you can take time to treasure the time you have, to listen to their heartbeat with your head on their belly, to stop watching TV or scrolling online, and put all of your attention into running fingers through their fur. Throw the ball one extra time for the joy of it, slow down to let them sniff that smell a moment longer, find foods they REALLY enjoy that they can have, hug them a little tighter and appreciate it NOW. of the two of you, you are the only one who knows it all ends- your pup only knows what love you share with him in the moment.
and in 5, 10, 15 years down the road, you will hold a new dog's face in your hands and ask yourself how you will ever come to terms with losing this one someday, too, and you will remember that there is no coming to terms, and that it will be worth it anyway, because you will choose to make it that way every day you still have them.
That's really all I know how to do.
janainaart
stormborns
blakekathryn
annaxmalina
