BIRDS AREN'T REAL

MOD IS A MINOR SO KEEP IT SFW PEOPLE

[weirdo-offical]

wow guys i really fell off there huh

[dying-pen-offical]

Ohh, GOD, look who's BRAGGING.

[laciffo-natas]

Truly unfortunate, imagine having only 37 😔

[conspiracy-theory-offical]

THERE ARE 37 GOVERNMENT AGENTS IN YOUR WALLS. RUN.

[officalverse-tournaments-offical]

Has Satan-offical been nominated yet if not i'll nomintate Satan-offical

Another returning contestant from last year, and surprisingly not the one who won considering she created the officalverse!

Anyways,

You heard them folks! Get this post to 300 notes to offically enter @satan-offical into the tournament!

3 Days left!

Note Limit of 5!

[satan-offical]

COME ON PEOPLE

[villain-offical]

I'm so hungry I could eat an easily manipulatable middle-aged man

[conspiracy-theory-offical]

EVERYONE

THEY ARE PUTTING CHEMICALS IN THE WATER CALLED hydrogen oxide THAT MAKE YOU GAYYYY

STUDIES SHOW THAT OVER 90% OF ALL WATER ON EARTH CONTAINS hydrogen oxide THE OTHER 10% IS LYING

THINK TWICE BEFORE DRINKING WATER, I PERSONALLY RELY ON A HEALTHY DIET OF CAFFINE AND THE POTIONS THAT THE MAD SCIENTISTS GIVE ME

[conspiracy-theory-offical]

IF YOU TYPE F IN THE CHAT ENOUGH TIMES THE PERSON IS REVIVED

THIS IS A WAKE UP CALL TUMBLR, WE ARE BRINGING BACK BETTY WHITE

[captainsnoop-deactivated2020041]

[captainsnoop-deactivated2020041]

stop reblogging this i meant to write 1347

[captainsnoop-deactivated2020041]

ive irreparably fucked up this doge meme. i’m a disgrace.

[dashaibo]

The rats weren’t carrying the plague, it was the fleas on the rats.

[drcyan]

I guess busses dont carry people since they just carry seats and the seats have people, then?

[dashaibo]

If an armed militia travels by bus and exits the bus to kill people, you don’t say those people were killed by the bus.

[captainsnoop-deactivated2020041]

doge’s pet rat is fucking sick and you are arguing about busses? fucking busses? 

[conspiracy-theory-offical]

THE DOWN WITH CIS BUS KILLED MY GERBIL

[villain-offical]

I don't believe the earth is flat or round I actually think it's vaguely evil-shaped

[squirrel-detector]

no squirrel detected

[villain-offical]

Aw man :(

[conspiracy-theory-offical]

IF YOU REMOVE THE W FROM WOMEN YOUR GET OMEN

THIS MEANS SOMETHING

[weirdo-offical]

WOMEN.

[snail-offical]

WOMEN!

[bacone-official]

WOMEN

[conspiracy-theory-offical]

WOMEN?

[conspiracy-theory-offical]

ooc//

hi everyone!

I’m gonna be taking an extended hiatus from posting! Remember my previous post? The one about the stuffed animals in therapy? Yeah well like 1-3 hours after I made that post my dad collapsed for unknown reasons and we have no idea if he’ll survive. I will be taking extensive time off from this blog and all my other gimmick blogs (flock of geese, floriography offical and I’m not Steve) to either: a. Grieve or b. Be there for the recovery process (let’s hope it’s not the first one)

Thank you for reading!

[conspiracy-theory-offical]

PRO TIP:

BRING IN CUTE STUFFED ANIMALS TO THERAPY APPOINTMENTS

WHENEVER YOUR THERAPIST BRINGS UP A TOPIC YOU DONT LIKE, CASUALLY PULL A CUTE STUFFED ANIMAL OUT OF YOUR POCKET

THEY WILL BE STUNNED FOR 5 MINUTES, ENOUGH TIME FOR YOU TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT

TRUST NO ONE, ESPECIALLY NOT THOSE THE GOVERNMENT WANTS YOU TO TRUST

//ooc: I cannot stress this enough this is a joke if you are dealing with serious problems please reach out to therapy professionals stay safe and don’t let a tumblr blog cosplaying the concept of conspiracy theories influence your decisions

[james-offical]

Remember to moisten your eyes by “blinking” with your eyelids!

[conspiracy-theory-offical]

WRONG

THIS IS WRONG

BLINKING IS A PSYOP CRAFTED BY THE GOVERNMENT, WHENEVER YOU BLINK LITTLE GUYS RUN IN FRONT OF YOU AND SNIFF YOUR KNEECAPS

LICK YOUR EYEBALLS LIKE THE REST OF US

[not-offical-offical]

MOTHER I heard there was a purge do u know if all my bros arw ok :(?

@a-clown-offical

i think all your siblings are okay but THEY KILLED NO-ONE-OFFICAL

[conspiracy-theory-offical]

THE APOCALYPSE IS NOW, FIND COVER, TRUST NO ONE (OFFICAL)

[dankmemeuniversity]

[xelayxes]

[xelayxes]

@matzahball

[dracophile]

For a second I didn’t realize it meant “high” as in a stoner–I thought “High Geologist” was like a rank of geologist or something and he was insulted you would challenge him to naming stones

[hamptercatapult]

great poast every one👍

[shirecorn]

I have drawn him…. The High Geologist

[syberfire117]

Can’t believe he’s ace

[shirecorn]

He is now And here’s the photo evidence:

[aphorisnt]

hey guys…https://twitter.com/MatthewLillard/status/1322648148364324864 so does this make it canon?

[shirecorn]

the high geologist has ascended

[ethanrayne]

every time i see this post it gets…. better? but also weirder.

[venusrrvelez]

I always gotta reblog the High Geologist once in a while.

[sapphireclawe]

I love this too much.

[cryptidwithaninternetconnection]

Reblog to get to look at a cool rock from the High Geologist

[anotherdayforchaosfay]

This is all part of The Tumblr Experience

[rarespawns]

the high geologist

advocating for ace people

[ash-the-tiefling]

IT IS HE THE HIGH GEOLOGIST APPEARING ON YOUR DASH YET AGAIN

[evil-man-offical]

High geologist offical when?

[james-offical]

this must occur

[conspiracy-theory-offical]

THE HIGH GEOLOGIST IS ALREADY AMONGST US

HIDING IN THE SHADOWS…. WAITING

[not-offical-offical]

Y'all give me show/movie/book/comic/fanfic/song/podcast/youtube recs

[conspiracy-theory-offical]

YES YES YES YES I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO ASK ME THIS

BOOKS: READ CUCUMBER QUEST, ITS FREE ONLINE AND THE BEST GRAPHIC NOVEL I HAVE EVER READ. IF YOU DON’T LIKE GRAPHIC NOVELS I RECOMMEND THE ARU SHAH SERIES, ITS LIKE PERCY JACKSON KINDA

SONGS: BLACK ALLEY GENERAL STORE BRANCH ONE, CONSPIRACY TEACHER OF CLASS 1A (ITS SO MECORE) AND EVIL FUCKING WIZARD

SHOWS: IDK I’M A NORMIE

YOUTUBE: ALIEN STAGE, SERIOUSLY ITS PEAK. IF YOU JUST WANT A GENERAL YOUTUBE VIDEO THEN I’D RECOMMEND THIS ONE

[surkeart]

be free!!

[conspiracy-theory-offical]

THE GOVERNMENT DOESN’T WANT US TO BE CRINGE

ANARCHY

[amnesia-offical]

I feel like people are getting bored of me— which extreme sport should I start?

[conspiracy-theory-offical]

STORMING AREA 51