pipe dream @coobies - Tumblr Blog

holythefirm

“God’s favorite little darling” as your bio when you’re 30…. It should be “if the lord lets me see another day”

salieri-antonio

@wolfi-amadeus-mozart

wolfi-amadeus-mozart

Hm...I may steal that for my own bio

Danke schön, Herr Salieri!

salieri-antonio

... my pleasure. Wolfgang.

holythefirm

everyday on here it’s like okay well sure

neckfat

replicated

i'm not really into blondes but this is an objectively absurd connection to make

not100bees

In order to be properly non-pedophilic you have to want to fuck somebody old but not with gray or white hair because that's too close to blonde which as we've established is the hair color of children. So ideally somebody old as fuck but bald. And obviously wanting to have sex with a man is misogynistic so it has to be a woman. And it can't be a white woman because that would be racist and it can't be a woman of color because that would be fetishistic, so ideally a woman with some unnatural skin color, oh let's say, purple. But it can't be an alien, because we don't know anything about alien life cycles so it could be an alien child or an alien that looks like a child. So it has to be an animal from Earth, but obviously one of human level intelligence that can communicate is otherwise that would be bestiality. So an old purple female animal that can speak English. I think the only creature you can be hot for is the Ant Queen from A Bug's Life.

kholdseid

gazeldhazel

above-average-mecha-catgirl

ooppo

The beginning of the end for every digital artist

mccleans

scrolling through the dash when the mutuals are in a new ugly guy phase

PALPITATIONS 🩷🌹

please do not look up to me. I am 1 inch tall. I'm down here. if you look up you won't see me

breezey-with-an-e-art

but what if i.....

i-am-a-fish

I REALLY LIKE THIS ART THIS IS SO CUTE I'M BEING HELD UP

hairscare

are we rocking with the hot yaoi base miis

#tomodachi life

tiktoksthataregood-ish

What the duck?

[Description: the video is captioned "Find the duck game", and we see several blindfolded women in hijabs groping around an enclosed ring while spectators look on, cheering and laughing . After a few seconds the camera pans so that you can see the duck, who is waddling around, casually yet resolutely resisting capture. Periodically the women collide with each other. They do not find the duck. End ID]

elvashayam

#it is a beautiful day in indonesia and you are a terrible duck

tags via @humanbeanisnotamused

#the one lady in polka dots accidentally pushing someone and then getting aggressively yoinked near the end #love n peace #video

thoughtportal

numb hands

derinthescarletpescatarian

The fact that one of these moves is significantly more difficult for me than the other two at least tells me which nerve is probably the most fucked up

#useful #resources

kangals

my YouTube algorithm has been showing me a lot of horse racing recently and since the Kentucky derby is today, the last few days all my recommendations have been filled with every middle-ages dudebros podcast about gambling and betting strategies and How To Pick The Real Winner and how to min-max your bet and bla bla bla. Buddy I’ve already got my favorite horsie picked out and it’s because he’s Silly.

kangals

reasons i like the horsie Great White:

he's about 6 inches taller and 200lbs heavier than any other horse in the field. big ol honse.

his record kind of sucks and when an interviewer asked his trainer "what do you think [the horse] will need to do to win the derby?' the trainer just said "get a lot better."

the horse was deadset on eating the landscaping shrubbery during the interview

thats all i need, absolutely sold, go get em Great White.