[nealashitposts]

A year or so ago I went to wood carving club with a bruised eye from my dog slamming his nose into my eyesocket and like every old lady there pulled me aside at some point to ask if my partner hit me here are some of the solutions they had in case he did.

-Replacing his vitimens with poision

- getting her brother to invite him out onto his boat and then killing him and dumping him in the ocean and saying he got drunk and fell off.

- get tboned with him in the passenger seat and then once he was in the hospital theres all kinds of easy ways to kill him like not washing my hands after a poop and then touching his wound casually.

-replacing his drink of choice with moonshine!?

- take him on a hike thats locally notorious for a rapid otter attacking hikers and once he had rabies I could just kill him any ol way and say self defense.

-One lady just cheerfully informed me she had a gun and only a few years left anyway

[janedrewfinally]

Accurate tags:

#and this is why no-fault divorce brings down the murder rate

[ostdrossel]

This is something you may see on hot days - this Blue Jay is not injured, it is taking a sunbath. It is done for skin care and grooming and helps with parasites. I always love seeing it because it feels like they have to feel perfectly safe when they do it.

[photogdenography]

I recently saw this with a Stellar's Jay (the same bird pictured here) and it initially had me worried it was sick or injured! Very relieving to learn about this interesting behavior.

[quinnick]

It’s that time of year again so here is your yearly reminder that the world isn’t ending and people don’t hate you. The sun is just setting at 6 pm.

[mrs-delaney]

Please take your vitamin D

[bundibird]

HEY SOUTHERN HEMISPHERE GIRLIES, ITS OUR TURN TO ENDURE THE DARK DAYS NOW, BUT STAY STRONG. THE WORLD IS NOT ENDING; THE SUN IS JUST SETTING AT 5-to-6 PM. BUT SHE WILL COME BACK TO US SOON. TAKE A VITAMIN D AND HANG IN THERE.

[theoneofwhomisblue]

[blossposs]

[crispylilworm]

[theoneofwhomisblue]

[theoneofwhomisblue]

[novaleeu]

So comfortable~

[serenadeformice-deactivated2025]

sad news, my son Crispin Shopify III saw a picture of me when i was breastfeeding him as a baby. the psychiatrists all agreed that exposure to this act which is potentially incestuous and sexual was equivalent to infinite permanent sexual trauma, and so we've decided to euthanize him and just start again from the beginning. hopefully i wont fuck it up again this time. god bless.

[twistedpictures]

dudes online used to spend 72 hours on photoshop uninterrupted editing people’s faces to look scary and we called the finished product some shit like jeff the killer and put him in spirit halloween and on wikipedia These days you open tumblr and top of dash is a 42 note edit of jerma’s face so fucked up looking that it could’ve been used to texture a corpse in a y2k valve game and you get a little nauseous and otherwise just keep scrolling. and this is known as “a tuesday

[arlo-maintenanceman]

Like this?

[puddox]

saw someone including "Mandate of Heaven" as one of those christian terms tumblr likes to use to sound profound. which i get where you're coming from but t☝️hat one is chinese

[yuriinullification]

holdon

what the fuck is going on in this site's backend

[soldier-exclipse]

shy princess

[soldier-exclipse]

yupp and its colored now.

[turbro]

gender affirming pointy teeth

[turbro]

gender affirming horns

[turbro]

gender affirming forked tongue and spade-tipped tail

[turbro]

gender affirming black sclera and glow in the dark irises

[turbro]

I forgot about the wings and claws thank you for reminding me about the wings and claws

[berdyman]

Get turned into

ITALIC

BITCH TURN ME BACK

[trapsena]

Someone made these walls that also are in Shamikos road and im trying to replicate it but idk how.... hopefully i can do it tommorow

[generatedhandle]

[clownowo]

worlds most well adjusted teenaged girl

[trapsena]

one night of thinking again on machikado mazoku got me giggling like a little girl remembering how her crush asked her out on a date, i hope ito sensei is recovering well cuz i cant wait for her comeback

[fs-oyaji]

211系。

[lavenderlemniscate]

feels like im always recovering. when do i get to live

[lavenderlemniscate]

"it's okay to rest for as long as you need from burnout" how long is it actually going to take though. there's stuff i wanna do.