when i came out as trans i had an old friend from my church days message me to congratulate me and ask me for my name and pronouns. and i was shocked tbh cause he was such a head-deep-up-the-church’s ass kind of guy so i was super wary.
and after digging a little deeper i found out that he was very supportive of transness, saying that trans men are men and trans women are women
BUT
he also believed in the church’s gender roles meaning that trans women had to marry men and be submissive wives and trans men had to marry women and be strong christian husbands.
which is like ????
the weirdest and most surreal form of trans inclusive misogyny i’ve ever seen.
I have a friend who was not out at his job. He didn't bind at work because he was afraid of that being the action that outed him. He worked at a small place run by a very conservative and trump loving family.
His coworkers were awful to him and treated him horribly.
Once he decided to start testosterone and started binding he told them his name, and that he was expecting people to use he/him when addressing him. Everything changed.
He suddenly had so much respect. They turned to him when things needed to be decided or fixed and asked his opinions on company based decisions. He even got a pay bump out of nowhere. They only mentioned his transition once to say "trans people are awful but that makes sense that you want to be the superior gender so it's fine."
He was livid. It breaks both of our brains to unpack it.
this is why we talk about the intersection between misogyny and transphobia btw. It's not always simply transphobia or simply misogyny, it comes in all combinations and peoples experiences are shaped transphobia and misogyny according to where they sit within the gender empire. transitioning is an act which changes both of these things and it's important to recognize and talk about our relationships to misogyny may grow or change as we do
