gonzo no!!!!!!!

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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

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@corvus-corvid
gonzo no!!!!!!!
I'm glad The Green Knight held true to the original poem in that it might not be intended as a comedy, but if you're me (a genius) it's hysterical
Respectable occupations:
Lighthouse keeper
Master thief
Pirate
Monster
Scientist completely out of touch with reality
Village weirdo
Youâre forgetting forest witch
Forest witch
I truly am obsessed with how Knives Out was like. Hello Daniel Craig, man who has spent the past two decades of his career being alternately beaten up and objectified playing an action hero with no personality. Would you like to please put on a shirt and an incomprehensible vaguely Texan accent and flex your character acting dark comedy muscles as well as your pecs for a while. And he's like BOY WOULD I and they made a work of art. Also love that they put Chris Evans in sweaters. Get your beefcakes then dress them nice make them soft and give them some bonkers character work to do it's what cinema needs more of
I love that several people have responded to this with "op I forgive you cause you're Scottish but that's not a Texan accent" which is fair thank you I appreciate it but no two people have agreed on what accent it is which is also Absolutely fair and hilarious as a reaction to this film
Cannot stress enough that I do not know what the fuck a foghorn leghorn is but literally a hundred people have said it to me so far so I'm assuming it's important to, like, Americans
Actually it's pronounced jaslight. You've been saying it wrong this whole time.
Hello important information!!!
Bread is NOT part of a skeleton's natural diet and feeding it to them can make them sick. Instead try: coins from countries that no longer exist, dead batteries, ballpoint pens, or brass buckles. These are much closer to what skeletons eat in the wild :)
anyway trans and nonbinary bisexuals are hot and sexy and beautiful and always right
this shit sucks. wish bulbasaur was real .Â
lord forgive me but I may have to make a nonessential purchase
honest to god can't stop thinking about this song about jeff bezos by philip labes (link takes you to his spotify). it's such a good example of politically driven folk music.
Lyrics:
Jeff found a genie in a bottle Who said, "I can give you anything you ask" "You can have your wishes three And a million more for free It's unlimited, just set me to the task."
Well, Jeff thought a while, Said, "I want houses, "I want boats, I want fancy modern art, I want tickets to the Met, I want my own private jet, And a rocket into space just for a start."
Well, the genie waved her arms and made it happen His every wish bolted from the blue And folks all over town grew enamored, gathered 'round To admire the man whose wishes had come true
They said, "Let's hear it for the man who has everything! By good fortune he's been set so far apart." "Yeah, let's hear it for Jeff who has everything! 'Cause his wishes are only at the start."
Well, Jeff heard their shouts and he grew worried He said, "Everybody's getting in my way." The genie smiled as before, "You've got a million wishes more. You can even give a bunch of them away."
Well, Jeff got confused and sorta quiet 'Til he finally said, "I have just one wish more." "I am satisfied, so I wish that you would die So you cannot grant wishes anymore."
Well, the genie's eyes got big and sad and shiny 'Til she finally said, "Your wish is my command." And with an effervescent sigh, she disappeared before his eyes And no wishes were ever granted there again
So, let's hear it for the man who has everything! By good fortune he has set so far apart Yeah, let's hear it for Jeff, who's got everything! Every single fucking thing except a heart
milord the peasants are nailing erotic artwork of you and your court jester to the church doors again
âYouâre so quiet, whatâs wrong?â Iâm creating my own fantasy world to escape from reality so shut up.
i heard a little girl in walmart tell her brother âthere are good vampires, you knowâ
said with the confidence of someone who knows several
The art history version of âyouâd look prettier if you smiled moreâ
you know what? fuck this *un-smiles your painting*