The worst kind of Crab

I just reblog league garbage. (cis) he/his/himself

[couchlogged]

Feeling understimulated and nothing sounds good to watch or do also known as Fuck You Mode™️

[couchlogged]

Does anyone else have to unfocus their vision to cross their eyes or is it just me?

I legitimately can't cross my eyes with my vision still in focus, but i can unfocus my eyes without crossing them which I'm lead to believe is not super normal??

[sacred-portal]

[mattsmemes]

[unfading-scrutiny-deactivated20]

[1anonyymous1]

may we all wake up tomorrow with less heavy hearts

[parkchanwoohoo]

If I start my sentence with "Girl" I mean it in a gay way like I'm about to bitch to you about my coworkers who I hate and who I am nothing but nice to. If I start my sentence with "Maaan" I mean it in a tired teen boy way. Like Shaggy learning that he's eaten the last of his vile sandwiches

[clusterbuck]

i don’t need a “day off” or a “weekend” i need to respawn in a clean apartment with all my responsibilities reset and the complete certainty that nobody hates me

[dykealloy]

I call this the create a new problem technique

[setewbro]

When you are unemployed, mysterious voices will tell you to "become a youtuber" but you must remind yourself that it's probably the amulet talking. The amulet you found last week, near the park. It has given you good advice so far, but there is always a line that you shouldn't cross.

[twocatsinatrenchcoat]

[fnord888]

It would be funny if nuclear waste warning messages become an attraction for future historical linguists.

I mean look at this thing:

A parallel text in 7 languages, with 4 different scripts between them! And pictograms! All designed to be preserved intact!

[max1461]

maybe nothing of value to you is here

[mylordshesacactus]

That is legitimately a massive problem that the nuclear waste warning projects are aware of and trying desperately to counteract.

Like, every post about them on tumblr going “lmao let’s be real, if I saw this shit I would stop at nothing to explore it” is highlighting the central conceit of the yucca mountain project.

The project is VERY aware of humanity’s tendency to explore, and the people involved are tormented constantly by the fact that ANYTHING they do to indicate “this specific place is extremely deadly and there’s nothing valuable here, GO AWAY” is going to become a fucking MAGNET for treasure hunters, explorers, adventurers, mystery enthusiasts, conspiracy theorists…like, the MOMENT it’s discovered, people will flood that place.

That’s what makes the project so fascinatingly difficult! There’s so much they have to convey, but at the same time, they have to do so without making the site itself interesting in any way, and without making it significant. Many possible warnings don’t incorporate a message at all, focusing instead on simply making the site as ugly, inconvenient, and unimportant-looking as possible so that it’s just never disturbed because nobody is interested in getting close. (It’s why seemingly crazy ideas like the color-changing cat priesthood are actually more viable than the seemingly “practical” example above, which still depends on written warnings guaranteed to be extremely interesting to future humans AND depends on the idea that those future humans will be able to decipher any of our languages. The most viable ideas focus on exploiting superstition and the subconscious, rather than LITERALLY trying to communicate “This place is not a place of honor” etc in as many words. Those are general ideas to be gotten across, not a script.)

The impossible catch-22 of the nuclear waste warning projects is that they absolutely MUST communicate the level of danger and the importance of keeping your distance…while also being acutely aware that warnings on the walls of ancient burial sites about the horrible curses that would afflict anyone who disturbed them did jack-fuck all to dissuade archaeologists.

Anything we do to make the warning seem important will guarantee it’s disregarded, but if we fail to make the warning unmistakable enough, we’re responsible for whatever happens to the humans ten thousand years in the future who suffer from our mistakes.

[patheticperipatetic]

If the area is to become unappealing why not put a landfill over it. To get to the death rocks you’ll have to dig through undecayed cabbage

[odonata523]

See above re: archeologists. Who just LOVE garbage dumps for what they can learn about people’s day-to-day lives.

[aeshnacyanea2000]

‘And there’s the sign, Ridcully,’ said the Dean. ‘You have read it, I assume. You know? The sign which says “Do not, under any circumstances, open this door”?’ ‘Of course I’ve read it,’ said Ridcully. ‘Why d’yer think I want it opened?’ ‘Er … why?’ said the Lecturer in Recent Runes. ‘To see why they wanted it shut, of course.’  *

* This exchange contains almost all you need to know about human civilization. At least, those bits of it that are now under the sea, fenced off or still smoking.

– Terry Pratchett - Hogfather

[finding-flight]

I can’t belive they just dropped “color-changing cat priesthood” with zero explanation, so I googled it and here you go:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ray_cat

[artistic-arteries]

[mothman-etd]

What I find extra funny about the Pratchett quote was he was the press office for a nuclear power plant before he was a full time author.

[roach-works]

another big part of the problem is that as soon as you communicate ‘this substance is an odorless poison that works by proximity and especially ingestion, do not hang out near it or eat it, btw it’s in the shape of small pellets,’ it’s going to be extremely valuable because humans fucking love poisoning each other. ‘thing that kills stuff’ is like one of our most valuable trade goods, historically. arsenic, alcohol, salt, sulfur. not only do we want murder weapons for other humans, we want insecticides and antibacterial compounds for pretty much everything. a little cursed pellet you could put in your pantry to keep down mold and maggots would be incredibly useful. until your kid got born without a skull.

but yeah like how do you get people to avoid something that kills them without explaining that the thing kills them, because the minute they know the thing is killing them they’ll start using it to kill on purpose? crazy ass problem.

[monamoni]

[redscharlach]

Head stays still but the body GROOVES

[gallifreyanconsultingphilosopher]

@great-and-small

[spiribia]

we do need to revisit the wording of "you can't have your cake and eat it too" because i don't think it clearly enough conveys that it's more that you can't simultaneously retain a cake and also get to consume it (which would render you cakeless). for years i was like But why not....it's my cake....?

[ferrettoy]

this fucking problem is how they caught the unabomber

[m0thmancore]

hey you should uh. elaborate. for my own personal satisfaction

[ferrettoy]

the unabomber was pedantic about idiomatic phrases like "have your cake and eat it too" and rephrased it to "eat your cake and have it too" (which to be very fair makes sense). fast forward to when he starts writing manifestos. he uses the phrase word for word in his pedantic style and his brother (who has been keeping his eyes on the unabomber shit for obvious reasons) notices the phrase and is like "oh fuck that's my fucking brother no one else fucking says that" and calls in an FBI tip

[tetrafelino]

Well you can't deliberately speak in a way nobody else does and also stay anonymous you know. Can't eat your cake and have it too.

[kiiraes]

gonna post my entire stickman reaction pic collection

[milanesa42]

Stolen from reddit kjjjj

[molabuddy]