Assorted musings

Formerly “princess potpourri”. She/Her, western Canadian. Assorted nerdly things. Fibre stuff is on my side blog “thisiswhyitscalledadropspindle”

[al-the-grammar-geek]

Fucking FINALLY

Farmers Finally Get a John Deere Right to Repair Agreement That Doesn’t Screw Them Over

The FTC's settlement with John Deere actually has teeth, unlike previous settlements that largely maintained the status quo.

[knitmeapony]

Hell yes.

[headspace-hotel]

I am learning to imagine the future:

My sycamore tree began life in the gravel at the edge of a parking lot. If trees can feel pain, that is a painful, unlucky death. I carefully dug it up and put it in a pot I made out of a disposable cup.

Hello small one. This world may be cruel, but I will not be.

I decided to take care of it, not expecting it to survive, and when my sycamore tree unfurled one tiny leaf and then another, it chiseled a tiny foothold in my terrified brain, the kind of brain that doesn't remember a world before the atomic bomb and before 9/11.

I googled the lifespans of trees. My neurons had to stretch and expand to accommodate what I learned: My sycamore tree may live five hundred years. It's hard to think something so big. In twenty years, my baby sycamore tree will be three stories tall, and the home of many creatures. In five years, my sycamore tree will be taller than I am. In one year, it will be summer.

There's this concept called sense of foreshortened future where people who have lived through trauma can't conceptualize a future for themselves because deep down they don't expect to survive, When I look forward, all I see is fire and death, melting ice and burning sky. We were raised Evangelical. All we see is Judgment Day, except there is no heaven.

But now there is a tiny gap in the wall, a crack in the door of my cell

and on the other side, I see a tree

There is, in the future, a great old sycamore tree, full of clean winds and the stir of a thousand wings. A hundred years from now. Fifty years from now. There will be forests in that world. There will be a world.

It takes courage, but we have to imagine it.

Most tree species can live in excess of three or four hundred years. I think I'm learning something. I think there are ancient voices saying hello small one, touch the dirt and the leaves, for now you are part of something that cannot die

in 2030 I will be thirty years old and the world will not have ended and there will still be hummingbirds, and we will have photos of the stars more beautiful than we can now imagine.

I planted an Eastern Redcedar; they may live nine hundred years. There will be nine hundred years. The people in that time will remember us. Maybe we will meet the aliens (hi aliens!).

I will blow out the candles on many birthday cakes in a world where there are wolves in dark forests far from home. I am learning to imagine the future. I learned recently that elk were reintroduced to the Appalachian Mountains after over a hundred years of extirpation, and that they are expanding their range.

That tiny crack I can see through now opens a tiny bit more:

Maybe elk will pass through my hometown, maybe there will be a forest where the pasture is on the high hill that I can see from my home

say it, say it, say it: ten years, thirty years, a hundred years from now

I am learning to imagine the future. There is a crack in the wall of this prison, of this machine, of this darkness, and through it, I see a tree.

[headspace-hotel]

[headspace-hotel]

[headspace-hotel]

today

[teaboot]

Do you think Clark Kent's first few major articles were about the continued presence of lead pipes in parts of Metropolis' water system

[teaboot]

(Average Metropolis reader after investigative reporter C. Kent's 452nd article on yet another case of landlords/business owners/factories' continued use of lead pipes/paint/gas/glass knowingly exposing the public to dangerously toxic lead levels) what the fuck happened to this guy

[teaboot]

One day Bruce Wayne mentions in an interview that heroes like Superman are overrated, as the most effective way to reduce crime is to provide public resources and improve local infrastructure, then cites how neighboring city Metropolis has effectively lowered their violent crime by 13% after addressing their outdated water system and investing low income housing. the reporter conducting the interview suddenly starts looking a little uncomfortable

[teaboot]

To be clear, Clark is still a fantastic investigative reporter. He still has to track down the sources to prove all this shit

[teaboot]

"Who, Clark Kent? Yeah, we're pretty sure he's a Meta. Is he a superhero? Like what, "Lead-detector guy"? "Captain pipes?" Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy and it's a handy trick, but it's lead detection, not laser vision. He's not about to go running around in tights any time soon."

[sindri42]

I just love the idea of a cape maintaining their secret identity by pretending to be a completely different and less impressive kind of parahuman.

[roach-works]

everyone assumes that kent is so squirrely around superheros because he’s just desperately hoping not to be conscripted to the JLA to fix their plumbing

[teaboot]

Local Metropolis Reporter Publically Recognized For Contributions To The City; Awarded Medal Of Distinction

[championofdnd]

They tried to get superman to present the medal but he was offended at being called "overrated" in comparison to Clark so he declined

[teaboot]

Counter offer: Bruce Wayne disguised as Superman

[teaboot]

beating this dead horse with memes

[everythingismadeofchaos]

Hey this was a real fun little read. It's so great to find these treasures on this site

[teaboot]

We’re happy to have you!

[austsakurakyzor]

Plot twist: Bruce knew the whole time that Clark was Superman - the interview was the start of a complicated plan to throw off Luther who was snooPING AS usual (and actually about to stumble into the right answer). It just got way out of hand and escalated way too fast. At this point the JLA is stuck maintaining the conspiracy because Batman, for the first time ever, doesn't have a plan.

[transformativeworks]

The TikTok Team is back again with a Tag Wrangler Hear Me Out Cake.

(YouTube link)

[transformativeworks]

Did you want the recipe? Bc now this exists

https://archiveofourown.org/works/86327351

[anarchistmemedistro]

Simple Sabotage Field Manual by United States. Office of Strategic Services

Free eBook digitized and proofread by volunteers.

[lordplavis]

For all my German speaking friends I can also very much recommend: "Der totale Wiederstand"

It's a bit more geared towards open resistance but it's a fun and interesting read that you can draw many potentially useful tricks out of.

[tortuga-pulpo]

Der Totale Widerstand Major H. von Dach (German) : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive

Der Totale Widerstand Major H. von Dach (German)

[juggalage]

For non-German speakers, here's the same text in English:

Total Resistance Swiss Army Guide To Guerilla Warfare (1965) : H. von Dach Bern : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive

Total Resistance, originally published in German as Der totale Widerstand: Eine Kleinkriegsanleitung für Jedermann (Total Resistance: A Guer

[barghest-land]

Fight it, dear boy, fight it! Till the end, even if they say it's impossible to win.

(some process under the cut!)

[annapods]

Visit Original Link

1 BeeKay’s bunkroom (1)

[bauliya]

“stop traumadumping to your friends tell this to your therapist” my god they paywalled human connection

[big-edies-sun-hat]

“If a friend of mine gave a feast, and did not invite me to it, I should not mind a bit. but if a friend of mine had a sorrow and refused to allow me to share it, I should feel it most bitterly. If he shut the doors of the house of mourning against me, I would move back again and again and beg to be admitted so that I might share in what I was entitled to share. If he thought me unworthy, unfit to weep with him, I should feel it as the most poignant humiliation.”

Oscar Wilde

[maybemacdc]

quiet mornings

[odonata523]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Muppet Show Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Betty Ross, Scooter (Muppets) Additional Tags: Crossover, into a bar, the fun crack Summary:

Dealing with Thaddeus 'Thunderbutt' Ross would put anyone in a mood. What Betty didn't understand was why the person coming in the door looked like his morning had been as bad.

[babydotcom]

imagine you are fifteen years old taking your little sister to the grocery store because your dad is busy and your grandmother is old and you need food. as you turn a corner you accidentally ram your shopping cart into God with a capital G and he promises to show you the world you’ve never seen from inside the ten square miles of your hometown in exchange for your company. you hate the risk but your demigod sister has untapped potential and an unrelenting determination to get ghost, so you follow God with a capital G through heaven and hell and back. God with a capital G is twelve and wiser than even your grandmother and treats everything like a game and he’s your brother now and suddenly you would (and have and will) kill and die for him. your first love becomes a different god and you add her name to the list of things (your childhood, your vulnerability, your parents, your safety) you don’t have the time to grieve right now (or ever) and you become a man on foreign soil and your dad isn’t there to see it. you are fifteen and God with a capital G’s best friend and your little sister– sisters, now– are the most powerful demigods on the planet and you are the only one keeping three divine tweens focused on saving the world and you are still not allowed to say fuck.

[bunnygirlboyboobs-deactivated20]

I thought this was the strangest short fiction I’d ever read until I checked the tags. Yeah, I guess ATLA is kinda crazy isn’t it

[sugar-coated-prat-dragon]

[batshieroglyphics]

[FIC] To Be Free Once More (That's Worth Fighting For) ~ Star Wars: Prequels ~ Fox/Obi-Wan ~ Mature ~ Ch 1/15

Title: To Be Free Once More (That’s Worth Fighting For) Fandom: Star Wars Prequel Era Author: Batsutousai Rating: Mature Warnings: Alternate Universe, Qui-Gon survives, Jedi Shadow!Obi-Wan, Jedi culture positive, Coruscant Guard deserve better, clone trooper dehumanisation, institutional abuse, discrimination, learning to trust, Jedi and clone trooper relationships, strangers to friends to lovers, idiots in love, trans/nonbinary/agender clone troopers, Summary: As a Jedi Shadow, Obi-Wan hadn’t expected to have much to do with the clone troopers. Until, suddenly, he does.

Notes: This fic will be 15 chapters long, with the final chapter going up at some point on the 17th of May, for those who prefer to binge.

CHAPTER ONE

“Aayla gets on well with her troopers,” Obi-Wan commented, having heard about her friendship with her commander from Quinlan, who seemed torn between being overprotective of her presumed virtue, and delighted that she’d been paired with a commander that she got on with. “Anakin, too.”

“Anakin has never been particularly comfortable with authority figures,” Qui-Gon commented drily. “His refusal to act like one was wholly expected.”

“Yes, I wonder where he got that particular mindset from,” Obi-Wan muttered loud enough for Qui-Gon to hear, and studiously ignored his former master’s chuckle. “When are we dropping from hyperspace next?” He wasn’t certain about comming Anakin for advice, but Aayla might have some actionable suggestions, and it had been far too long since he’d last spoken to her.

Qui-Gon hummed, then used the Force to call his comm to him, typed something on it, then set it down and went back to his trimming.

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes at the complete lack of answer, then left the bed, which he’d been lying on, since the only chair was serving as a plant holder, to kneel in front of Qui-Gon’s footlocker, delighted when it opened at his first guess for the code.

“What, exactly, are you doing?” Qui-Gon asked, tone dry, but presence in the Force warm and amused.

“Disregarding your presumed boundaries,” Obi-Wan returned cheerfully, even as he pawed through his former master’s belongings.

Qui-Gon huffed, then called, “Come in, Commander!” when the quiet doorbell chime sounded.

“You asked to see me, General?” Commander Cody asked, once they’d stepped into the room far enough for the door to close again behind them, curiosity curling through the Force around them.

“Yes,” Qui-Gon agreed, setting down his sheers and turning to face the clone. “Obi-Wan was asking whether there was any way to make the troopers more comfortable with him mingling with them.”

Obi-Wan groaned into the footlocker; he should have guessed that his former master’s solution would be to simply ask one of the clones. “If the answer is there isn’t one,” he said, before the commander could open their mouth to respond, “please just tell me so; I’m perfectly capable suffering the next week dealing with Master Jinn.”

Read the whole chapter at Archive of Our Own!

Please DO reblog this post; sharing is the best way to tell creators that you enjoyed their work.

[odonata523]

Main work is complete, also there’s sequels. A very satisfying fixit, with moments that had me tearing up. 🥹

[nattousan]

ok so, I approached my local library with a proposal to donate a mural as a way to A: build portfolio/gain practical experience and B: give back to a beloved public institution. The director was very enthusiastic about it and i've been working on it since the beginning of March. Come with me as I endeavor to paint what is in all honesty an excessive amount of birds

I wanted the birds to look like they were actually in the space so first thing after doing the draft was to do a lighting study

after that I covered the walls in letters in lieu of a projector/vr headset bc i have neither of those :) Then i take a picture of the section of wall and superimpose the lineart over top of it so I can pencil in the lines

et voila

and that was a whole week on it's own so next comes the paintin' >:)

[nattousan]

and now, the birds

Birds 1 and 2/14: Red Winged Blackbird, Male and female, Agelaius phoeniceus

[nattousan]

Bird 3/14, American Robin, Turdus migratorius

[nattousan]

hoo boy, ok *out of breath*

GIVE IT UP FOR BIRD NUMBUH 5, THE CANADIAN GOOSE, Branta canadensis!!!!

this guy took me about 4 days to completely finish, all of those freakingk coverts were a bear to render

[nattousan]

speaking of obnoxious coverts:

bird 5/14, Bluejay, Cyanocitta cristata

the friggin stripes almost got me chat, i may not make it

[nattousan]

Madam....

[nattousan]

birds 6 and 7: American Goldfinch, Spinus tristis, male and female

pleasantly simple to paint! next is the flickerrrrr

[nattousan]

*melts into goo*

BIRD NUMBER 8, (yellow shafted) NORTHERN FLICKERRRRR, Colaptes auratus

genuinely made me start questioning my sanity around day 3, it's half the size the of the goose, WHY did it take me 4 days to finish??

nothing but pain and suffering, i'm sure hope the next bird will be much easier and with FAR less barring :)

[nattousan]

in other news, I am losing my mind hairline

[nattousan]

SHE'S DONE!!

Bird number 9: Red-tailed hawk, Buteo jamaicensis

my chains are broken i am FREE. although i did have a great deal of fun with this, the barring on the wings itself took me like four days and i am READY to move on

this was a week and a half of continuous work so please excuse me for getting a little emotional in the bg 🙏

[nattousan]

*does a little jig*

BIRD NUMBER 10!!! The Male Mallard Duck, Anas platyrhynchos

the male and female ones are gonna be posted separately bc they're taking a lot longer lol but yea! super happy i was able to capture the iridescent green of the head, i found metallic green and blue paint at a craft store that really made his head POP. it looks better in person i promise

ALSO!! As this is the 10th one, BIG announcement. The end is in sight!!!!! I plan to finish within the next 3 weeks and there will be a small dedication ceremony/ unveiling happening at the library to commemorate its completion on the 16th of May. If you live in the Western New York region and want to check it out for yourself shoot me a dm!

Also thank you everyone for your kind words and support throughout this whole process, it's been a genuine treat thinking there are potentially thousands of you out there cheering me on while I paint this 🥹

[nattousan]

aaaand another one bites the duck,

we're movin right along with bird numero 11!! The lady Mallard!! Anas platyrhyncos

the 16th is looming in the distance so i'm trying to get thru these as quickly as i can so i can have as much time for the GBH as possible. i still need to do the names next to all of them so i've got about a week and a half to finish everything which is GREAT because i have adhd and nothing gets my ass in gear like a fuckin deadline, let me tell you

[nattousan]

power couple that they are, here's bird number 12 and 13,

the Northern Cardinals, Cardinalis cardinalis

and NOW that they are complete, ITS GO TIME, in the next five days (library's closed for mother's day 😭😭) i need to have the GBH fully rendered, the names of the birds vectored, weeded, masked, applied to the wall, and then painted, plus additional cattails throughout. I may be able to get away with just getting the GBH done in time for the unveiling and then just have the names and cattails added later, but i'm gonna really try to get it all done in time. BUT, i have a plan. Part of why i take so long on these is because i really am just figuring it out as I do it lmao. there have been many a time where i am sitting on top of the ladder googling "how to paint birds" but I think if i take the time tomorro to do all that figuring out how to approach it beforehand, this will go a lot faster. I may also recruit some of my artist friends to help with the placing of the names... hrmm we'll see.

Anyways, shout out to the librarian who tracked down exactly the thing i needed so i could figure out where to place the highlights in my birds eyes, ur the real mvp

[nattousan]

thanks for the reminder, kid

[nattousan]

at long last, we've reached the end...

Bird number 14 out of 14,

The Great blue heron, Ardea herodius

thank you to everyone who reached out or got excited about this project, it genuinely gave me the fuel i needed to keep going. In total, the 480+ total hrs it took me to cover this wall pales in comparison to how long its expected to spend on there, hopefully imparting a sense of beauty and love for the natural world to the next generation and here's hoping i'm only getting started with these.

i'll see y'all soon :')

[odonata523]

@nattousan these are lovely. I’m in central Alberta, but so many of these are also the birds of my childhood here on the prairie. Thanks for sharing your work!

[abalidoth]

Fun little math trick I find really helpful: the ratio of a mile to a kilometer is within 1% of the Golden Ratio. That means that if you have a good memory for Fibonacci numbers (1 2 3 5 8 13 21 34 55 89) you can convert pretty accurately by taking consecutive Fibonacci numbers.

For example, 89 kilometers is really close to 55 miles (55.3). Or, say you need to convert 26 miles to kilometers: 26 can be written as 21 plus 5, so taking the next Fibonacci number up gives 34 and 8, meaning it should be around 42 kilometers. Sure enough, it's 41.8 km!

[tamberoo]

i need several moments, math like this scares me

[abalidoth]

Not gonna lie, as much as I want to be helpful and comprehensible, I am very proud of provoking that reaction image.

[no-one-offical]

‎

[soclonely]

dolly parton isn’t in star wars

Dolly Parton is the living embodiment of the Force

[allwhoponder]

I desperately need a Star Wars edit of the Prequels where every time the force is used Dolly is edited in doing whatever the Force is doing. Like

Obi Wan force pushing Grevious in Clone Wars

Dolly Parton runs in from off screen and full body tackles Grevious like 30 feet into the wall.

Jedi mind tricks:

Ben Kenobi: "These aren't the droids you're looking for"

Dolly: "Y'all better let us move along cuz you don't want none of this"

Stormtrooper: "These aren't the droids we're looking for"

[ineedausernamel829-deactivated2]

when you marry him...

It had been one week, two days, and six hours since Padme’s secret illicit marriage to her hottie Jedi lover (as the tabloids had enthusiastically termed the situation) had been revealed to the galaxy. The fallout had been enormous. Florid headlines had swung through the news; the Naboo Queen had recalled Padme to discuss her future in the Senate; and the Jedi Council, although busy with the war, had implied that there was a meeting on the near horizon about Anakin’s place in the Order.

Which is why when Padme, sat in her office to frantically cover what she could in the possibly limited time she had left, got a message that there was a Jedi to see her—two Jedi—neither of which were her husband or Obi-Wan or Ahsoka—she inwardly groaned. Just the littlest bit. As Padme had taken fire on the Senate front, Anakin (and Obi-Wan, really) had handled the Jedi. She wasn’t sure as to their purpose in seeking her out, given that their connection to the situation was to her husband, but steeled her shoulders in preparation. The Jedi would be polite, no doubt—but there was also no doubt that she and Anakin had landed themselves in boiling hot water and had yet to swim their way out of it.

She stood up as the two entered the room. Ah. Council members. Higher-up Council members. A nerve-wracking clue as the tenor of the conversation about to occur.

“Master Windu, Master Yoda,” Padme nodded. “I understand you wanted to speak to me?”

“Yes,” Mace said grimly. He crossed her arms and gave her a heavy stare. Below, Yoda remained silent, but also peered up at her as if to see straight through her.

“Would you like me to comm Anakin?” Padme offered politely. “In case—”

“No.” Mace interrupted. He was still studying her, eyes narrowed.

Bewilderment shot through Padme. So, they didn’t want to discuss anything with her and Anakin, but that begged the question of why they were there. She straightened and met their gaze, waiting for them to speak.

“Senator Amidala, I will get straight to the point,” Mace began, arms still crossed as he stared her down. Then, he asked the absolute last thing Padme expected.

Sternly, “What are your intentions with young Skywalker?”

Padme didn’t know what to say.

“My…intentions?”

“Yes.”

To stay married to him? Have babies with him? Live a long and happy life with him?

“I would think that my secret marriage to your ward already indicates the answer to that question,” Padme said a tad sharply, thrown off by the question.

“Precisely—a ‘secret’ marriage,” Mace said, even more sternly if possible. “An elopement.” His grim tone suggested that few horrors in the galaxy compared.

“Meet Ruwee and Jobal, we would like,” Yoda added kindly.

Padme blinked. “You’d like…” Why would Mace and Yoda care…?

All of a sudden, a chilling realization seized her brain. Her parents. They wanted to meet her parents—Anakin’s in-laws.

Which meant that Padme’s in-laws were—

Oh, no.

“You’re older than Skywalker, correct?” Mace was asking disapprovingly, as Padme’s mind distantly tried to come to terms with what was happening. “Significantly older.”

Padme was more than a little offended. “I’m in my late twenties, and Anakin—”

“Anakin was nineteen when you married,” Mace finished with a statement that had not been what Padme was about to say. “Yes. I’m aware.”

“Meeting this week, perhaps would be nice,” Yoda muttered with an absent tone. “Meet Ruwee, Obi-Wan can.”

“Master Yoda,” Padme bravely tried to begin, “I’m sure—”

“Old, I am!” Yoda said with a thump of his cane. “Wait, I will not.”

Padme’s mouth opened, shut, opened again, but before she could say anything, Mace flatly spoke again.

“Anakin Skywalker is the Chosen One, and one of the most promising knights of our Order. The peak of your career was when you were a child, I understand.”

‘Master Windu hates me’ indeed, Ani, Padme was inwardly cursing with a foul irritation. She plastered on a smile. “Yes. If you recall, that was when Ani and I first met.”

“You were fourteen and Anakin was nine, yes.”

Damn it—

“And then we didn’t meet again until we were adults,” Padme said meaningfully, noting how Mace had pointedly said Anakin instead of Ani.

“Which resulted in marriage nearly immediately.”

“After we had spent time together.”

“Time being three days.”

“Three days under duress, if you recall.”

“I recall Skywalker being under duress.” The word vulnerable was unsaid but loudly implied.

“Well!” Yoda sighed, peacefully shuffling up to Padme as if she weren’t currently fighting the battle of her life for her dignity. “Make him happy, you do.”

“Hm.” Mace didn’t say anything else.

“Thank you, Master Yoda,” Padme said, relief flooding through her. “We’ll have to share a meal sometime.”

“A promise, that is,” Yoda stared up—oh no, was he being stern now? And where was Anakin, shouldn’t he sense Padme’s distress—“All of us, together will.”

“Of course,” Padme said smoothly, although she knew the two beings in front of her could easily sense her turmoil, damn it. “Just set the date.”

“We will,” Mace said heavily.

The interview appeared to be over with that. Both exited as quietly as they had come. Padme stared after them as the door shut, and then walked back over to her desk, fell into her chair, put her head in her hands…and started laughing. She had tears streaming down her cheeks when Sabe came in worriedly.

“I heard the Jedi were here, what did they--what’s so funny?”

“Oh, Sabe,” Padme gasped. “I have a new and entirely unexpected appointment next week.”

“…what unexpected appointment?”

Padme composed herself, drew herself up, and said with a grin:

“Dinner with the in-laws.”

[lizartgurl]

MY DUDE THIS IS SUCH A BREATH OF FRESH AIR SEEING MACE CONCERNED FOR ANAKIN'S WELL BEING I LOVE THIS. DINNER WITH THE IN LAWS INDEED

[allwhoponder]

HOW COULD YOU LEAVE #frog grandpa IN THE TAGS THATS HILARIOUS

Also considering how things turned out, their marriage becoming public may have been a saving grace.

[rights-for-redshirts]

AU where Anakin drops out of training halfway through his Padawanship and starts a mechanic shop of his own. This, predictably, saves the galaxy.

Because let's be real, he would be insanely good at it. This leads to several patents running under his name by the time he is 18, including but not limited to

A very easy and cheap to build scanner that *can* be used for detecting slave chips (the Hutts are Not Amused by the skyrocketing number of freedom trail escapees. There is a bounty on his head because he is silently donating a lot of his money to the people organizing said freedom trails. Anakin is aware of this but doesn't let it show. It is a badge of honor, but not one everyone knows how to read. The people who do know know either way.)

a little addition to hyperspace antennae bc he wanted!! to talk to!! his mother!! more often!! that coincidentally completely revolutionized military communication (Anakin is unaware of this)

some type of hyperspace engine modification just because ships and space travel are cool. This also starts to revolutionise research in that area; "The Force told me I could" may not be a valid basis for a scientific project, but "How the kriff does that mechanic DO THAT" sure is

Probably some lightsaber modifications bc come. On. There's no way he wouldn't find a way to improve those. (In the ensuing legal battle, it is noted that the construction and possession of lightsabers is no longer prohibited to the general public. Some Jedi Shadows slip away and do some investigating into when exactly that was changed. And by whom.)

He can’t buy his mother back because even though he has the money now, Watto won't sell her in the hopes of extorting him with her welfare. Anakin is this close to hiring a bounty hunter to deal with this and rescue his mum by himself. Only is Shmi happily busy directing her fellow slaves to operation centers and has no intention of stopping by leaving the planet ("Mum, don't you always say the true tragedy in the galaxy is that nobody helps each other?" Yeah, that woman is SO organizing the resistance against the Hutts.)

While the Jedi aren't really allowed to help because of politics, a good deal of them (the chaotic good alignment faction, i.e. Quinlan Vos & Company) help whenever they can, brokering peace with the original natives (Tuskens and Jawas) to facilitate escape through the desert and prepare an interim government for the inevitable slave/native revolt against the hutts. The council turns a blind eye to this, because a) they know it's the right thing to do and b) the lightsaber permit headache.

It's up to you which faction Obi-Wan belongs to.

The Techno Union is extremely unhappy about their monopoly on, well, technology being broken. This leads to some more legal battles that ... idk, I didn’t think this through, but they lose. Badly, and this proceeds to drag the Banking Clan and Trade Federation down with them as further investigations are opened.

Padmé delightedly pounces on the opportunity to drag all of them down and get revenge on Nute Gunray; she and Anakin make a magnificent team by combining political/legal and technical/market expertise into hell of a headache for the people who would otherwise fund the Separatists. There may or may not be a passionate kiss over some legal evidence and spare parts.

Sidious, who had so far been trying to push all the pieces into position he will need for the Clone Wars while keeping Anakin friendly to him and slowly building public support, now has his hands full juggling a) the lightsaber construction legislature investigation from the Jedi, of which they keep him duly informed (stressful), b) Anakin hyperfixating on mechanics so badly he hardly has time to spiral, never mind build up resentment against the Jedi, c) the Techno Union, the Banking Clans and the Trade Federation slowly crumbling under the combined weight of Skywalker being stubborn, Amidala campaigning and R2 slicing some pretty damning evidence, taking the financial backing for the droid army with them; d) what do you mean, the attempt on Shmi Skywalker's life was thwarted by a random Jedi "passing through" and several hundred newly freed slaves?? Since when did the Outer Rim start getting democratic??, e) with the slow, but steady dismantling of the three most powerful enterprises in the Republic, the main reasons for secession (Republic inefficiency, corruption, and corporate greed using monopolies to choke smaller planets into financial ruin and dependency) slowly falling away, the reasons for a war also fade into nothingness and the Republic returns to functionality.

By that time, the Jedi Shadows, led by Mace Windu (who traced the lightsaber construction thing) and the Jedi Slave Freeers (who traced the attempt on Shmi's life) meet up in front of the chancellor's office like the spidermen meme, down to kill a chancellor for completely different but both very valid reasons.

Upon opening the door, they find Padmé Amidala with a Ysalamiri lizard and a blaster. The unexploded (because Force-blocked) body of the Chancellor is lying in front of her, three smoking holes in his chest (he tried to blackmail her into leaving the Techno Union alone by way of her affair with Anakin (that she, as a Nubian Senator, is not allowed to have). She brought the lizard without knowing it blocked the Force, but she got it as a gift from Anakin, who told her it would keep her safe if ...).

Mace Windu deactivates his lightsaber and tells Padmé with a straight face to drop the gun. There might be fingerprints on it that could lead to the culprit.

[allwhoponder]

This is amazing and fantastic and I have just one thing to add to it: Count Dooku.

Dooku, having already sided with Sidious, but seeing the reasons for his fall being dismantled entirely within the system, retires to Serrano and becomes a distant advocate for the limiting of Republic influence on worlds that desire independence (Half out of lingering distrust of the Republic and half out of the need to save his own skin), and finds a stalwart ally in that fight in the form of Padme.

It takes many years, but Dooku finds redemption in fighting for these people, though due to his inability to forgive himself for Yaddle's sacrifice and fear of the full consequences of that crime, he never reconciles with the Jedi Council, though he (re)kindles and maintains a strong relationship with a few key members, including Yoda and Obi-Wan, and when Padme subtly directs him to what's going on with Tattooine and the former slave nation developing there, Dooku slightly shifts his political verbage to advocate for independent nations and peoples, even within the same systems. He even becomes an active agent in his own right with dismantling the Hutt's chokehold on the Galaxy.

When he eventually dies of old age, he has a massive traditional Serrano funeral, attended by not only hundreds of thousands of the people he fought for, but also by dozens of Jedi who forgave him even when he went to his grave unable to forgive himself.

[odonata523]

I heard “It’s Padme Amidala with an Ysalamir lizard” in the voice of a WWE announcer.

(Much as I love the idea of her in a cage match with a folding chair… a blaster is more practical)