Hey girl! Could you write a post on match makers please ? (I’m from the UK btw) ✨❤️
idk anything about match makers
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Hey girl! Could you write a post on match makers please ? (I’m from the UK btw) ✨❤️
idk anything about match makers
Why are men just so Insanely easy to seduce? If he doesn't have the pre-existing notion that you only want his money, he will fall in love so damn fast. Even if he does think that all you want is his money, he will still think you're the love of his life.
I've had men decide I was their dream girl by just being in the same room as them and giving them a courtesy compliment. I've had men go on a single date with me and talk about our future marriage plans. I've had men fall over themselves to impress me, regardless of if I'd ever spoken to them. You are delusional if you think that women are the easy ones to get or that men are commitment-phobic.
If a man wants you, he will give you everything he has and try to lock you down in 5 dates or less. He may not know what he wants before he sees you, but once he does he will do everything in his power to have you. He will move his entire life for you. He will take you anywhere you want. He will treat you as best he knows how. You simply just have to see how he ticks and exploit it.
GL babes ✿
as far as i’m concerned women should be able to monetize every single interaction they have with men
That’s just most marriages lol
if u have shit to say say it with ur chest and dont hide it in the tags
What do you do to make men crazy? Teach me please!
You have to be confident. Have bomb sex and be the one to leave first. Be hella cute and affectionate with them when you see them but cold after, so that they’re always the ones texting you and calling you. You always got to be one step ahead of them, they always have to feel like they’re chasing you and trust me, they love the chase. Make them believe they are the predators and you, the prey, when it’s in fact, the opposite way around. It’s the hot n’ cold game.
How do you tell men that you meet out in person that you expect them to pay so much for you? Like finding a new sponsor can be so tough when freestyling even as a SGF
I think my luck is decent, to be honest.
Every man I’ve met in-person offered to take me shopping. I wrote about this in older posts. I think you need to dress/live for the “role”. I’m either in athleisure (Lululemon tights, zip-up with cleavage, runners, and a Chanel bag) or a mini skirt, blouse, and a blazer. I’m out and about at lunch/brunch, doing groceries or shopping at 11:30AM, and these men who approach me know I’m not working a conventional job. I probably wouldn’t be out shopping at noon if I’m working a 9-5 job. I wouldn’t have a latte in my hand, hopping out of a Porsche, and have a huge smile on my face on a Monday morning.
If you want to play the game, you need to dress the part and be good at your role. Often, I don’t need to tell men what I expect or teach them to meet my requirements; they’ll look at me and know what I’m looking for.
In my opinion, I believe that pretty privilege is something that can be created. I am not “conventionally” beautiful. I suffer with major acne, dry lips and sometimes I even have greasy hair. but I made up for it by adequately taking care of my skin/hair to the best of my abilities. And I also made up for it through drawing the attention away from my flaws and onto my style. In addition, I am quite thin. So that makes things easier when it comes to curating style. But it’s still possible for those who aren’t thin! I always liked being girly or glamorous and it’s fun to play it up. I do it because it makes me feel good. I like to present my best self the moment I walk out the door. I remember a year ago, in one of my English classes, I always dressed up and my professor was like “you always look FABULOUS! you look like a classy lady in 1958 reading a literature novel at a fancy cafe” (those exact words...not even kidding lol🤣). and on the last day of class, I wanted to look my absolute best when turning in my essay portfolio that I worked super hard on. I decided to wear a suit with a nice sunhat because I was in a bossbabe mood. and you know what he told me?
“you always look FIERCELY elegant! you look like you jumped straight out of a katherine hepburn movie. never stop being your unique self!” 🥺
True pretty privilege is when you show to the world that you take time, effort, and diligence in your appearance. It’s when you communicate to the world that you put effort into yourself. Dita von teese also stated that she was never considered beautiful growing up so she decided to create her own beauty.
Some ways anyone can create their pretty privilege:
- grooming/hygiene: self-explanatory of course. do your best to take care of your skin/hair/nails. smell good
- style: play around with aesthetics. it’s okay to stand out. pretty privilege happens because the person stands out in some way.
- Always aim to be at least 10% more dressed up than everyone else in the room.
- And most importantly...FIND what makes YOU beautiful. everyone has their “pretty” features. Stop doubting yourself. Do you have nice hair? Hypnotic eyes? Thin body? Curves? Whatever you have, play it up. This includes your personality too. Show your personality into your style. If you’re loud, go bold. If you’re quiet, go for a dainty, demure style. If you’re passionate about learning/school, look into academia aesthetics. You get the idea.
And it’s also okay if you like to completely switch it up too. going pink and cute one day but then dark and wild another day. Things like that create mystery/intrigue. And we all know that mystery makes someone pretty🥰
Finally.....someone who GETS IT
Essential Steps followed by the most successful courtesans:
She drastically improves her appearance.
She upgrades her knowledge of etiquette and manners and improves her social skills.
She changes her environment in order to increase the chances of meeting men with money.
She makes a conscious decision to stop associating herself with men of lesser means and inferior position.
She continues climbing no matter what, because settling is never an option.
From ‘How to Date Like a Courtesan’ by Celeste Mgboli
this is basically a summary of everything you need to do to level up
Pamper 101 - Stepping up your hygiene game🍒
This post is ALL about hygiene and self care. It covers pretty much everything you could think of. ENJOY.
SHOWER
Exfoliating - Ok so for shower care you should be exfoliating 2-3 times a week. It’s really up to you what you use to exfoliate. Exfoliating should be done regularly it keeps your skin nice and smooth as well as getting rid of bumps and marks. To exfoliate you can invest in exfoliating gloves or a body scrub. You can even make a homemade body scrub out of olive oil and sugar/salt. Another bath essential for me is my back scrubber. I know some people struggle with body acne and back acne and I heard that really helps. It’s just nice to feel that your whole body is smooth. Another exfoliating tool are exfoliating scrub bars. Lush has a lot of nice ones, I recommend the Scrubee. These are good because they exfoliate and moisturise at the same time!
If you’re using a loofah or any kind of sponge remember they need to be replaced and you should do so every two months or more often if you would like.
Find a body wash that actually works for your skin. If you have dry skin you may want a creamy, moisturising soap. If you have sensitive skin you would want to use a more natural soap. Find what works for you!
Make sure you’re washing everything, that means your booty crack, behind your ears, your coochie, your belly button. All of it!
SHAVING
If you exfoliate before and after you shave you will feel super smooth and soft after!
Invest in a good shaving cream, lush also has a nice one. If you’re out of shaving cream you can always use conditioner. Leaves your skin super smooth.
Use a razor with multiple blades, men’s razors are very good for a nice clean shave.
Remember to rinse your razor!!
There is no need to press hard, be gentle when you shave.
AFTER SHOWER CARE
Skin (body) - Ok so if you have dry skin like me you want to moisturise as soon as you come out of the shower. On top of my regular body lotion I use a body oil as well. The name of the body oil I use is Palmer’s Moisturising Body Oil. This smells so good and goes amazing with my cocoa butter lotion. I would also recommend almond oil. This is such a good addition especially for summer because it leaves you nice and glowy!
Perfume - Ok so this is important for building your signature scent. People always ask me how to do it but it’s really so simple. Your signature scent is going to be a combination of your body lotion, perfume and or body mist. I personally use cocoa butter scented lotion. A good scent to go along with this could be vanilla. If you use a floral perfume you would want a body lotion that smells fresh or fruity.
Skin Care - A good thing to invest in is skin care especially this summer who wouldn’t want to look fresh and glowy. Set days that you’re going to do face masks. I write down my skin care routine on my mini white board so I remember what days I do what, I also find it motivates me when I’m lazy. You can always make your own face masks or buy them. I always think the more natural the better but there are some shop bought ones I like. Spend some time and do some research to find the best mask for your skin. Another thing to buy is eye gel masks. These are so nice I always feel so much brighter after I use them. One more thing I would recommend is keeping a face mist with you. You can buy one or make your own. I love using rose water I spray my face with it literally every five seconds lmao! It also smells amazing and keeps you looking nice and fresh!
Feet - When it comes to looking after your feet it really depends on what your normal routine is. It’s always nice to invest in yourself and go to get your nails done but you can also take care of your feet from home! For your at home foot care you can get a small tub and soak your feet in warm water (I like to add essential oils too). Then after they’ve been soaked I grab my pumice stone which is a great investment, it keeps your feet super smooth. I would recommend buying a foot file of some sort. Another thing to invest in is a cuticle oil this is good for both your toes and fingernails. Then when I’ve soaked and dried I use my foot cream. Now this is obviously a little extra you can use a regular cream but a speacial cream for your feet is a good buy. I use the Soap and Glory foot cream.
HAIR
Ok so you should make an effort to deep condition once a week. If you don’t have a deep conditioner you can make one with conditioner and a variety of oils mixed together. Twist your hair up and throw on a shower cap and do some chores. If anyone wants a recommendation I use the Aunt Jackies in control conditioner.
Buy some oils for your hair, here’s a quick breakdown of what oils do what.
Sealants - this means you apply after you have moisturised your hair, these oils seal in moisture!
- Peppermint Oil: stimulates the scalp and increases hair growth. (apply to scalp or add to your shampoo)
- Olive Oil: promotes scalp health, good for hair growth and keeps hair soft and shiny. sealant
- Jojoba Oil: encourages hair regrowth and moisturises hair! Eliminates frizz and adds shine. sealant
- Acocado Oil: moisturises, repairs and strengthens hair. Is good for penetrating the hair shaft so it’s great for moisture. Contains vitamin D so it’s good for the generation of new hair follicles. sealant
- Argan Oil: high in vitamin E, good for dry scalp and dandruff. Keeps hair protected from damage. sealant
- Jamaican Black Castor Oil: increases blood criculation to the scalp and encourages hair growth. Balances the pH of your scalp. Stops scalp infections, inflammation and dandruff. Makes your hair stronger and replenishes natural oils in your hair.
Make time to do a hot oil treatment if your hair is feeling dry
Massage your scalp and oil it during the week.
Make sure to moisturise the ends of your hair, this is how you retain length!
Wrap your hair, wear a bonnet or invest in silk pillow cases.
Buy silk scrunchies or hair bands that are gentle on your hair.
Replace your brushes when they get old and crusty lol!
Remember to dust your ends. You can do this at home when you see single strand knots and remember to go and get a trim when you feel like your hair needs it. Listen to your hair!
Be consistent! The reason you’re not seeing growth could be because you’re not sticking to a routine. When you find products that work keep using them. Never skip a wash day and deep condition weekly!
PERIOD
Ok so I feel like sometimes people shy away from talking about hygiene when we’re on our period but it’s important and nothing to be embarrassed of!
I recommend downloading a period app if you don’t have one. There are so many different kinds that help you keep track of cravings, cramps, skin care and more.
Whether you’re using a pad or tampon they need to be changed regularly. This will keep you smelling fresh and keep your kitty healthy.
Carry feminine wipes with you but make sure they’re as natural as possible. I heard that the brand Honeypot is very good and is also black owned!
Also don’t use scented pads or anything make sure the pads you’re using are also as natural as possible.
When you’re on your period drink lots of water. I’ve noticed when I’m on my period and I’m drinking lots of water it made my period easier to deal with, mine usually lasts about 7 days and is super heavy but it’s started to become shorter and lighter.
I’ve also heard that taking cranberry pills after your period really helps if you’re noticing any odour so I recommend that too.
YOUR KITTY
Ok so when it comes to keeping your kitty clean and healthy I’m gonna start off with saying drink ya water! I know I say this all the time but seriously it helps!
Stop wearing underwear all the time let your coochie breathe. I also recommend sleeping naked it’s good for you.
Wear cotton underwear.
Discharge is absolutely normal. If you notice your discharge has a weird smell or colour then there is probably an issue and you should head to your doctor. Discharge is often clear/milky in colour and is like mucus or egg whites. You can also use your period app to track what discharge is normal. For example when you’re ovulating you’re likely to get discharge and before your period.
If you’re noticing any odour drink more water and change your diet. Start to eat more fruits and grab that cranberry juice. If you don’t like cranberry juice there are pills you can take.
You should not be using any old body wash to clean your coochie. It’s very sensitive and this can throw off your pH balance. If you choose to use soap which you don’t have to then pick a natural one that is specifically for down there. You can also just use warm water it’s a personal choice!
Don’t just use any lotion on your coochie or around that area either. I recommend baby oil.
EXTRAS
Bring your mask and hand sanitizer with you at all times. Please stay safe!
Carry around hand cream, nobody wants dry ashy hands lol.
Always carry lip balm/gloss.
Carry a bottle of water with you whenever you go out.
Carry deodorant and feminine wipes so you can freshen up during the day.
Always clean your phone with antibacterial wipes at the end of the day.
Remember to brush your tongue, floss and use mouth wash. On top of that always carry gum or mints with you.
Wash your makeup brushes! Seriously if you wear makeup daily or often wash them at the end of the week and if you need to then replace them.
When you’re not wearing acrylics make sure your nails are cut and shaped. Also apply cuticle oil to keep them healthy.
LIP SCRUBS. I love them sm they always keep my lips super soft and pink. I love the bubblegum lip scrub from Lush.
OKAY SO THATS IT. This may be updated later because there’s so much more. Send me ideas for more posts!
3 things wealthy white men look for in an ethnic trophy wife:
I work at a Private Specialty Club and a International Investment Banking Firm and I've worked as a yacht girl and a flight attendant, I think that if anyone is qualified to speak about this, it's me. I've been around men who are Bill Gates level wealthy, I've been around your average 100k guys, and I've been around men who are Middle Eastern royalty and men who have so much money they could buy a title.
I'm not interested in what the men who are making illegal money have to say, I only ask men who are in legitimate occupations questions because I don't want to ever be with a man who's not stable. I also don't bother with men making under $300k yearly, I know I can do better than that and I don't want to waste my time when there are plenty of men for me.
I've always enjoyed asking questions and collecting data for myself, I've always liked being privy to secrets and being told things, and I've always made myself out to be a sympathetic ear or a shoulder to cry on. I've operated with the knowledge that everybody is trying to be somebody BUT some people already are, I constantly ask questions of the men that already are who they want to be so that I can learn what they want, how they became who they are, and how they've stayed successful and what they look for in a potential wife so that one day I can be just that.
Poise and Elegance:
Every man wants poise and elegance, when a white man of status is dating a woman of color, that want for poise and elegance becomes even more pronounced. Bring proper won't just do it, it's an important part and it's an absolute must, acting ghetto or low class will immediately disqualify you from any sort of serious attention but acting the exact opposite and knowing how to carry yourself and carry a conversation is precisely the way to get your foot in the door before you're living in their heads and in their homes rent free for the rest of your life. It's honestly not too hard to bag a wealthy white man, even if you're gold digging, as long as you know how to conceal that and appeal to their white savior instincts and make them think that you need them (and not the other way around) you'll do just fine.
Being beautiful and out together is a must, being the next Iman or Grace Jones isn't a must but you do need to be fit, beautiful, and you need to know who you are. The more wealth, the more of one stereotype men like. Quiet, submissive, tall, thin, beautiful, and foreign and also sort of a bimbo but also always interested and excited to learn with bright eyes. A lot of the extremely wealthy men that I've met have wives from Africa, Sri Lanka, or the Gulf and they're all very beautiful, sweet and absolutely great to be around, and they're all from backgrounds where they've been "saved" by the men that they went on to marry. I've talked to them before and they've always laughed about their backgrounds because they've let their husbands think that they've lifted them out of perdition but, in reality, they would've done just fine in their home countries if they hadn't married well.
A Good Educational Background:
You don't have to have gone through the finest programs at the finest schools but you do have to be educated. It's a million times more interesting if you've educated yourself, men love a woman who can say that she self educated herself and that that's how she knows all she knows, you have to have passion and you have to believe in certain things, you have to be able to speak eloquently and fluently, and you have to make sure that you're worldly. Watching foreign films, learning languages, reading books, learning etiquette through etiquette books, learning how to dance, learning how to make coffee and serve wine, making charcuterie boards, and learning how to sail, golf, play cards, play tennis, host parties, and be able to act the part of the perfect wife and perfect woman will only help further your cause and benefit you.
I listen to NPR, watch broadcasts out of the Met Opera House and the Bolshoi Ballet, go to art museums and research art, I go to masterclasses about history, I paint, I study, and I immerse myself in the life that a high class woman would. Now, even though I come off as delicate, worldly, and well read, I let myself shine through. Niels (main man) has a thing for the war on drugs and the cartels, he loves watching Narcos, and he loves reading about those sort of things. I'm able to be delicate Renata and I'm able to revert back to the Renata that grew up with family appearing at the door in the middle of the night because Colombia and Venezuela had gone to hell.
Appealing to their need to be a white savior:
I'm going to speak to this at length because this is actually extremely important and it's one of the least mentioned but most important things that I've figured out, every man loves saving a damsel in distress and being able to think of himself as her knight, being able to appeal to that and also appeal to their need to be a white savior always gets them going. I've had nights where I'm working and men start asking me about my hometown and my life back in Brazil. I lived in a bad are, yes, but for a reason and that reason was the employment of my parents. Every man wants to be needed, it's a simple fact, men like to feel useful and feel like they are truly needed and desired by the woman they're with, the desire to be a white savior comes out because a lot of white men see women of color and immediately assume that they either belong to the streets or they need to be rescued from the streets.
There's this beautiful young girl from Kenya I know who married this man who she met when she was yachting with me, she's one of the most beautiful women I've ever known and she grew up in a slum called Kibera in Kenya. He dotes on her and I've never seen her without his Reserve or Centurion cards and in an outfit that wasn't customized for her from a major fashion house, anyway, he constantly talks about saving her from the slum where she was from and he...salivates over that. She's got two wedding rings that I don't doubt cost him at least $900k together, she's secure and safe, she doesn't drive, and she came up from absolutely nothing and met him. She secured the bag, he loves that he "saved her" and "rescued her", and they're happy together.
I'll write more tomorrow, these are just my observations and things that I've written down in my diary after years of listening and asking questions and I thought I'd post them to get them off of my mind for a while.
XOXO,
Renata
tips for high heel beginners 👠💋
-don’t start out with super high heels. it’s better to start out a little smaller. they don’t have to be full on kitten heels but try to keep the heel 3 inches or shorter.
-the chunkier/thicker the heel= the easier to walk in
-don’t be scared of platform heels. while they might look intimidating, they’re actually more stable and easier to wear as opposed to your standard heel because a) there’s less incline and your toes are closer to your heel and b) even if they’re high, the heels tend to be chunkier, so you have more support.
-heels aren’t the most comfortable shoes in the world but if your foot hurts as soon as your put them on, don’t buy them.
- when it comes to heels,it’s always better to size up then to size down. when in doubt, opt for a larger size.
- when walking on a flat surface, always remember to walk heel to toe, one foot in front of the other.
-s l o w d o w n. you might think you can run in heels, but you probably can’t even power walk. take smaller steps and walk a little slower than usual.
-practice. walk around your house in heels for a while to get the hang of it.
-whenever you have the opportunity to sit down, do so.
-avoid walking on grass. if in some case you absolutely have to walk on it, try to focus your weight on your toes; almost like you’re trying to tip toe. your heel should still touch the ground, but lightly.
-avoid walking on cobblestone or any other sidewalk that is uneven or has cracks in it at all costs.
- when going up stairs, tilt sideways a bit. this way you’ll be able to put your entire foot on each stair and you have a less of a chance of tumbling down and busting your ass. also, hold the handrail at all times.
-if you have to stand for a while, switch putting your body weight from one foot to the other. this way you’ll be able to give each foot a break and it’s less painful.
-use cushion and gel insoles, they’ll make your heels a little more comfortable and you’ll be able to wear them for longer periods of time. doesn’t matter what brand, you could even get them at the dollar store; they don’t have to be fancy.
- never take your heels off and walk barefoot. not only could you step on glass or something sharp but that’s just nasty and very tacky looking. always have a cute pair of sandals or flats on hand in case shit gets real.
-angel
The most important dating advice you will ever hear
Don’t do anything.
Seriously. That’s it. “Don’t do anything.”
As a woman, you just have to sit back and let him do what he wants.
He wants to meet you; he has to approach you. You say yes.
He wants to plan a first date; he has to ask you out in advance. You say yes.
He wants to kiss you; he has to make a first move. You say yes.
He wants to see you a second time; he calls the next day. You say yes.
He wants to check-in during the week to tell you he’s thinking of you; you take his calls. You say yes.
You don’t have to DO anything. Just see what he does, and say yes.
He wants to take you on a weekend away and introduce you to his friends. You say yes.
He wants to sleep with you; he offers a condom. You say yes.
He wants to commit to you and become exclusive. You say yes.
You see what I mean? You don’t have to DO anything. Just see what he does, and say yes.
If he doesn’t do anything, you have your answer.
This is the single simplest way to understand how to deal with men, and yet women drive themselves nuts.
You try to learn what “games” to play, or how to “figure men out”, or “how to make him commit” to you. It’s all bullshit. There’s nothing to know beyond what we’re DOING.
If we want to call, we’ll call. If we want to commit, we’ll commit. If we want to marry you, we’ll ask you. And if we don’t call, don’t commit, and don’t propose to you (all in a reasonable amount of time), then guess what? We’re not going to. We’re just going to continue with our happy, low-stakes status quo that you so generously allow.
-Excerpt from the most important dating advice you will ever hear
42 Practical Ways To Improve Yourself
42 Practical Ways To Improve Yourself
Books are concentrated sources of wisdom. The more books you read, the more wisdom you expose yourself to. What are some books you can start reading to enrich yourself? Some books I’ve read and found useful are Think and Grow Rich, Who Moved My Cheese, 7 Habits, The Science of Getting Rich and Living the 80/20 Way. I’ve heard positive reviews for The Tipping Point, Outliers and The Difference Maker, so I’ll be checking them out soon.
Learn a new language.As a Singaporean Chinese, my main languages are English, Mandarin and Hokkien (a Chinese dialect). Out of interest, I took up language courses in the past few years such as Japanese and Bahasa Indonesian. I realized learning a language is a whole new skill altogether and the process of acquainting with a new language and culture is a totally a mind-opening experience.
Pick up a new hobby. Beyond just your usual favorite hobbies, is there something new you can pick up? Any new sport you can learn? Examples are fencing, golf, rock climbing, football, canoeing, or ice skating. Your new hobby can also be a recreational hobby. For example, pottery, Italian cooking, dancing, wine appreciation, web design, etc. Learning something new requires you to stretch yourself in different aspects, whether physically, mentally or emotionally.
Take up a new course. Is there any new course you can join? Courses are a great way to gain new knowledge and skills. It doesn’t have to be a long-term course – seminars or workshops serve their purpose too. I’ve been to a few workshops and they have helped me gain new insights which I had not considered before.
Create an inspirational room. Your environment sets the mood and tone for you. If you are living in an inspirational environment, you are going to be inspired every day. In the past, I didn’t like my room at all because I thought it was messy and dull. A few years ago, I decided this was the end of it – I started on a “Mega Room Revamp” project and overhauled my room. The end result? A room I totally relish being in and inspires me to be at my peak every day.
Overcome your fears. All of us have fears. Fear of uncertainty, fear of public speaking, fear of risk… All our fears keep us in the same position and prevent us from growing. Recognize that your fears reflect areas where you can grow. I always think of fears as the compass for growth. If I have a fear about something, it represents something I’ve yet to address, and addressing it helps me to grow.
Level up your skills. If you have played video games before especially RPGs, you’ll know the concept of leveling up – gaining experience so you can be better and stronger. As a blogger, I’m constantly leveling up my writing skills. As a speaker, I’m constantly leveling up my public engagement abilities. What skills can you level up?
Wake up early. Waking up early (say, 5-6am) has been acknowledged by many (Anthony Robbins, Robin Sharma, among other self-help gurus) to improve your productivity and your quality of life. I feel it’s because when you wake up early, your mindset is already set to continue the momentum and proactively live out the day. Seth recently wrote a waking up early series which you should check out to help cultivate this habit.
Have a weekly exercise routine. A better you starts with being in better physical shape. I personally make it a point to jog at least 3 times a week, at least 30 minutes each time. You may want to mix it up with jogging, gym lessons and swimming for variation.
Start your life handbook. A life handbook is an idea I started 3 years ago. Basically, it’s a book which contains the essentials on how you can live your life to the fullest, such as your purpose, your values and goals. Sort of like your manual for your life. I started my life handbook since 2007 and it’s been a crucial enabler in my progress.
Write a letter to your future self. What do you see yourself as 5 years from now? Will you be the same? Different? What kind of person will you be? Write a letter to your future self – 1 year from now will be a good start – and seal it. Make a date in your calendar to open it 1 year from now. Then start working to become the person you want to open that letter.
Get out of your comfort zone. Real growth comes with hard work and sweat. Being too comfortable doesn’t help us grow – it makes us stagnate. What is your comfort zone? Do you stay in most of the time? Do you keep to your own space when out with other people? Shake your routine up. Do something different. By exposing yourself to a new context, you’re literally growing as you learn to act in new circumstances.
Put someone up to a challenge. Competition is one of the best ways to grow. Set a challenge (weight loss, exercise, financial challenge, etc) and compete with an interested friend to see who achieves the target first. Through the process, both of you will gain more than if you were to set off on the target alone.
Identify your blind spots. Scientifically, blind spots refer to areas our eyes are not capable of seeing. In personal development terms, blind spots are things about ourselves we are unaware of. Discovering our blind spots help us discover our areas of improvement. One exercise I use to discover my blind spots is to identify all the things/events/people that trigger me in a day – trigger meaning making me feel annoyed/weird/affected. These represent my blind spots. It’s always fun to do the exercise because I discover new things about myself, even if I may already think I know my own blind spots (but then they wouldn’t be blind spots would they?). After that, I work on steps to address them.
Ask for feedback. As much as we try to improve, we will always have blind spots. Asking for feedback gives us an additional perspective. Some people to approach will be friends, family, colleagues, boss, or even acquaintances, since they will have no preset bias and can give their feedback objectively.
Stay focused with to-do lists. I start my day with a list of tasks I want to complete and this helps make me stay focused. In comparison, the days when I don’t do this end up being extremely unproductive. For example, part of my to-do list for today is to write a guest post atLifeHack.Org, and this is why I’m writing this now! Since my work requires me to use my computer all the time, I use Free Sticky Notes to manage my to-do lists. It’s really simple to use and it’s a freeware, so I recommend you check it out.
Set Big Hairy Audacious Goals (BHAGs). I’m a big fan of setting BHAGs. BHAGs stretch you beyond your normal capacity since they are big and audacious – you wouldn’t think of attempting them normally. What are BHAGs you can embark on, which you’ll feel absolutely on top of the world once you complete them? Set them and start working on them.
Acknowledge your flaws. Everyone has flaws. What’s most important is to understand them, acknowledge them, and address them. What do you think are your flaws? What are the flaws you can work on now? How do you want to address them?
Get into action. The best way to learn and improve is to take action. What is something you have been meaning to do? How can you take action on it immediately? Waiting doesn’t get anything done. Taking action gives you immediate results to learn from.
Learn from people who inspire you. Think about people you admire. People who inspire you. These people reflect certain qualities you want to have for yourself too. What are the qualities in them you want to have for yourself? How can you acquire these qualities?
Quit a bad habit. Are there any bad habits you can lose? Oversleeping? Not exercising? Being late? Slouching? Nail biting? Smoking? Here’s some help on how you can quit a bad habit.
Cultivate a new habit. Some good new habits to cultivate include reading books (#1), waking up early (#8), exercising (#9), reading a new personal development article a day (#40) and meditating. Is there any other new habit you can cultivate to improve yourself?
Avoid negative people. As Jim Rohn says, “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with”. Wherever we go, there are bound to be negative people. Don’t spend too much of your time around them if you feel they drag you down.
Learn to deal with difficult people. There are times when there are difficult people you can’t avoid, such as at your workplace, or when the person is part of your inner circle of contacts. Learn how to deal with them. These people management skills will go a long way in working with people in the future.
Learn from your friends. Everyone has amazing qualities in them. It’s up to how we want to tap into them. With all the friends who surround you, they are going to have things you can learn from. Try thinking of a good friend right now. Think about just one quality they have which you want to adopt. How can you learn from them and adopt this skill for yourself? Speak to them if you need to – for sure, they will be more than happy to help!
Start a journal. Journaling is a great way to gain better self-awareness. It’s a self-reflection process. As you write, clarify your thought process and read what you wrote from a third person’s perspective, you gain more insights about yourself. Your journal can be private or an online blog. I use my personal development blog as a personal journal too and I’ve learned a lot about myself through the past year of blogging.
Start a blog about personal development. To help others grow, you need to first be walking the talk. There are expectations of you, both from yourself and from others, which you have to uphold. I run The Personal Excellence Blog, where I share my personal journey and insights on how to live a better life. Readers look toward my articles to improve themselves, which enforces to me that I need to keep improving, for myself and for the people I’m reaching out to.
Get a mentor or coach. There’s no faster way to improve than to have someone work with you on your goals. Many of my clients approach me to coach them in their goals and they achieve significantly more results than if they had worked alone.
Reduce the time you spend on chat programs. I realized having chat programs open at default result in a lot of wasted time. This time can be much better spent on other activities. The days when I don’t get on chat, I get a lot more done. I usually disable the auto start-up option in the chat programs and launch them when I do want to chat and really have the time for it.
Learn chess (or any strategy game). I found chess is a terrific game to learn strategy and hone your brainpower. Not only do you have fun, you also get to exercise your analytical skills. You can also learn strategy from other board games or computer games, such as Othello, Chinese Chess, WarCraft, and so on.
Stop watching TV. I’ve not been watching TV for pretty much 4 years and it’s been a very liberating experience. I realized most of the programs and advertisements on mainstream TV are usually of a lower consciousness and not very empowering. In return, the time I’ve freed up from not watching TV is now constructively used for other purposes, such as connecting with close friends, doing work I enjoy, exercising, etc.
Start a 30-day challenge. Set a goal and give yourself 30 days to achieve this. Your goal can be to stick with a new habit or something you’ve always wanted to do but have not. 30 days is just enough time to strategize, plan, get into action, review and nail the goal.
Meditate. Meditation helps to calm you and be more conscious. I also realized that during the nights when I meditate (before I sleep), I need lesser sleep. The clutter clearing process is very liberating.
Join Toastmasters (Learn public speaking). Interestingly, public speaking is the #1 fear in the world, with #2 being death. After I started public speaking as a personal development speaker/trainer, I’ve learned a lot about how to communicate better, present myself and engage people. Toastmasters is an international organization that trains people in public speaking. Check out the Toastmaster clubs nearest to you here.
Befriend top people in their fields. These people have achieved their results because they have the right attitudes, skill sets and know-how. How better to learn than from the people who have been there and done that? Gain new insights from them on how you can improve and achieve the same results for yourself.
Let go of the past. Is there any grievance or unhappiness from the past which you have been holding on? If so, it’s time to let it go. Holding on to them prevents you from moving on and becoming a better person. Break away from the past, forgive yourself, and move on. Just recently, I finally moved on from a past heartbreak of 5 years ago. The effect was liberating and very empowering, and I have never been happier.
Start a business venture. Is there anything you have an interest in? Why not turn it into a venture and make money while learning at the same time? Starting a new venture requires you to be learn business management skills, develop business acumen and have a competitive edge. The process of starting and developing my personal development business has equipped me with many skills, such as self-discipline, leadership, organization and management.
Show kindness to people around you. You can never be too kind to someone. In fact, most of us don’t show enough kindness to people around us. Being kind helps us to cultivate other qualities such as compassion, patience, and love. As you get back to your day after reading this article later on, start exuding more kindness to the people around you, and see how they react. Not only that, notice how you feel as you behave kindly to others. Chances are, you will feel even better than yourself.
Reach out to the people who hate you. If you ever stand for something, you are going to get haters. It’s easy to hate the people who hate us. It’s much more challenging to love them back. Being able to forgive, let go and show love to these people requires magnanimity and an open heart. Is there anyone who dislikes or hates you in your life? If so, reach out to them. Show them love. Seek a resolution and get closure on past grievances. Even if they refuses to reciprocate, love them all the same. It’s much more liberating than to hate them back.
Take a break. Have you been working too hard? Self-improvement is also about recognizing our need to take a break to walk the longer mile ahead. You can’t be driving a car if it has no petrol. Take some time off for yourself every week. Relax, rejuvenate and charge yourself up for what’s up ahead.
Read at least 1 personal development article a day. Some of my readers make it a point to read at least one personal development article every day, which I think is a great habit. There are many terrific personal development blogs out there, some of which you can check here.
Commit to your personal growth. I can be writing list articles with 10 ways, 25 ways, 42 ways or even 1,000 ways to improve yourself, but if you’ve no intention to commit to your personal growth, it doesn’t matter what I write. Nothing is going to get through. We are responsible for our personal growth – not anyone else. Not your mom, your dad, your friend, me or LifeHack. Make the decision to commit to your personal growth and embrace yourself to a life-long journey of growth and change. Kick off your growth by picking a few of the steps above and working on them. The results may not be immediate, but I promise you that as long as you keep to it, you’ll start seeing positive changes in yourself and your life.
42 Practical Ways To Improve Yourself
Hey, can you give me some tips when in the talking stage. I don’t want to seem to interested yet I don’t wanna seem unbothered. I’m trying to play it cool and leave him wanting more. What’s your advice?
My Talking Stage Tips:
DISCLAIMER: These are my tips and things that have worked for me. If you do not agree with them, do not do them.
- do not get upset if he responds late or does not respond for a long time (he is not your bf)
BUT
- good behavior = reward, bad behavior = punishment. EX: he decides to respond to your text a day late, you wait two-three days and text him like nothing happened - “hey handsome, how are you?”. On the other hand, if he remains consistent with texting, you send him a random text telling him how much you appreciate him (guys like their ego stroked)
- try to always have meaningful and interesting conversations
- do not show emotion when he makes you upset (guys always expect women to show emotion because we are naturally emotional creatures, by you not showing emotion that will get his attention. And again he is not your man, not your problem)
- do not let him know too much about you (not your bf, he does not need to know all of your business)
- pay attention to little details about him and his personality (people in general like that, it makes them feel special)
- set boundaries (creating boundaries = more respect, you are not any type of girl and he CAN NOT treat you any type of way)
- always remain calm
- when he calls you “babe, baby”, let him (if you feel comfortable) but do not call him those names back (he is not your bf)
- do not compliment him and show affection 24/7 (he might start to think he has you wrapped around his fingers) BUT show affection and compliment him at random times! Men like feeling wanted, and if you remain cold, he will leave and go find someone else who will make him feel wanted
- do not give him bf privileges (talking on the phone all the time, spending a lot of time together, sex, going out together all the time) until you both decide to commit
- hope for the best but expect the worse (again he is not your bf, and he can do whatever he wants at the end of the day. Do not have all of your emotions invested until he shows that he is worthy)
Hoe Wisdom - Manipulation
I learned from a very young age to make people believe about me exactly what I want them to. I learned how to walk, sit, move, and even eat in a way that makes me seem in complete control of myself and my surroundings, even when I’m feeling completely overwhelmed and out of place. I learned to hide my anxieties and insecurities in a way that everyone thought I was always calm and put together. I also learned how to get people to trust me and tell me everything about them by masterfully displaying those very weaknesses. I’ll share some of my tips tonight, these tips might help you seem in complete control, help you get what you want and even who you want ;)
WHEN YOU’RE ALONE AMONGST A LOT OF PEOPLE - If you’re alone don’t stress about the fact that you are, don’t worry about looking like a loser because you won’t. > When you’re alone be sure to keep your posture. ALWAYS TAKE NOTE OF YOUR POSTURE. I cannot stress how important your posture is. Look up how to keep a proper posture. >Snack slowly and take small bites, small and assured sips of your drink. Not too slow, just measure yourself. > Learn how to strut. When you walk across the room to sit, to snack, or just anywhere, don’t slack on your walking. Chin up, stare straight ahead, perfect posture, and have a very slight smile. The world is your catwalk, and yes people will be paying attention when you least notice it.
WHEN SOMEONE APPROACHES YOU - If they’re a close friend you don’t have to worry much about how to talk to them because you know them, but your behavior still matter. > When talking to them make sure you pay close attention to them and what they’re saying. No extreme reactions, unless they truly said something shocking. > Smile a lot, let others see that you can be approachable. Also, they’re your close friend you should be smiling anyway. - If they’re someone you barely know then just breathe in, smile, release your breath slowly and greet them politely. > Ask then questions about their life you have some knowledge about. Ask about their family, pets, children, partners, work/school, make sure they’re the ones speaking more than you are. - If they’re a stranger wait until they’re immediately in your personal space to acknowledge them, then meet and greet them only after they have directly addressed you. Keep an easy smile on your face, and when meeting them change your smile according to the impression you want to make (dazzling smile to charm, smirk to seduce, smile politely for anyone else). > For strangers you don’t know anything about them, ask them about things you are at least somewhat curious about. Ask them about their current standing in terms of job and or studies. Ask them about family and hobbies. Anything you would like to know or need to know to get some info on them. > Make a lot of eye contact, but not too much, but make sure to keep your attention on them. Make them feel that you care about what they’re saying.
WHEN YOU’RE IN A GROUP Besides all the other things about posture, eye contact and smiling, when you’re in a group this is where the whole “pay them complete attention” does not apply. In a group make sure to pay attention to everyone speaking, let everyone have a turn at your attention. People who were steamrolled out of a conversation you ease them back in either by giving them your attention and let them speak to you directly, or if you’re feeling bold politely call out the person or people who steamrolled over them by calmly stating “I’m sorry to interrupt but [their name] was speaking, I want to know what they were going to say.” Don’t do that if you don’t feel confident, or if you care about possibly offending others, you should still operate within your comfort zone so that you can portray a genuine look of collected confidence.
NOW YOU’RE IN, HOW TO GET THEM TO TRUST YOU - This is when you can start showing people bits of your true self. You should have real stories and anecdotes ready for when you get the chance to use them. - Real stories and anecdotes are crucial because believe it or not people are actually adept at intuitively spotting liars. If the stories and anecdotes are real, with genuine feeling attached to them, they can’t spot any lies because they will be the truth. - Manipulating people is not about lying, it’s about using the truth to your advantage. Avoid lying and avoid exaggerating, so that everything you say and do is genuine. - The stories and anecdotes you use must have some connection to the context of the conversation or the person you’re with. Don’t bust out a story of a dying pet when the person you’re with never even had a pet. Don’t talk about how you once failed an exam when the conversation was about this concert he went to with his friends last week. Talk about things in context, and if you have no material for a certain context then don’t stress, you don’t need to have something to say for everything. For every time you talk to them only share one personal story, avoid using more because then that shows too much of you. - You want to show some humanity, but not too much because you want them to still believe that you’re some ethereal and strong entity that could probably crush them if they cross any lines.
To end, I just want to say that with this post I don’t mean to imply that you need to act this way to be desired, to get what you want, or to be considered amazing. This is not the case at all. However, I know for a fact that some of y'all struggle with confidence and that you wish you knew how to display confidence even when you don’t have it. Well this is a way to fake it until you make it. My blog is about loving yourself, but I know how long and tiresome that process can be. This is just a way to put yourself out there. There’s so much info I still didn’t cover because then the post would be even longer, for any more info just ask me! None of y'all should feel that you HAVE to do what this post says to get people to notice you and like you, I don’t want any of you to compromise yourselves for the sake of people that don’t matter. But I know some of you want this, I found myself looking up a lot of this information way back when before Tumblr had this huge and informed community of wonderful people willing to share their knowledge. I love all of you and I hope I’ve helped some of you in any way.
Could you please give a list of the harshest things that you think we (general population of women trying to improve on themselves) need to hear
This post is part of my Tough Love Tuesdays series where followers send me their problems and receive a stern kick in the butt. They specifically asked for extremely harsh answers, so if you take offence to this or it makes you feel sensitive, then you need to keep scrolling because it is not directed at you, nor are you the target audience. They don’t want to be coddled, they don’t want sugar coating, they don’t want beating around the bush. They want painfully tough love.
The absolute overwhelming majority of men prefer women who are at a healthy weight.
Hypersexuality does not solve your problems, it's actually probably causing many of them.
A lot of you got useless degrees (from a financial standpoint) that put you several thousands of dollars into debt and got you a job that hardly lets you live a comfortable middle class life. Is that really something to flex?
A lot of you are extremely insecure and need constant validation, but you hide behind a facade of “I’m a bad bitch” as a protective mask.
If you want marriage and children, then spending years and years and years of your fertility window and most desired ages of attractiveness (in the eyes of men) not prioritizing marriage and children is an odd choice, wouldn’t you say?
Adding on to that, if you want marriage and children, there’s no need to pretend that you would be 100% perfectly fine and happy if it doesn’t happen for you. It’s okay to admit that you want it.
Your inability to take accountability for your bad choices in life is leading you down a path of destruction.
Far too many of you have placed yourself in an echo chamber that only promotes the idea that because you are a woman, you are 100% perfect exactly the way you are and you never need to change or grow or improve or better yourself in any way. They are lying to you <3
Not everyone suits the insta baddie look and there are other ways to level up physically besides going for that look.
A lot of the “men ain’t shit” crowd are women who ain’t shit and allow their terrible personalities and behavior to attract men who are mirrors of them.
Your mother caused you a lot of mental health problems. I can see that you are gearing up to keep that cycle going with your own daughters. Stop it. Get some help.
Your son is not your husband. Your daughter is not the second mom of the house.
Being a young single mother/baby mama actually is a big deal and you can’t be upset that it impacts you on the dating market.
Many people nowadays will not be financially secure enough to retire when the time comes. You NEED to start putting your money to the side now, before it’s too late.
Some of you need to finally admit that your weight is where it’s at solely because of you and your diet.
You claim that you don’t have time to do helpful self-improvement things for your life, but if I were to monitor you for a week, it’d be obvious that it’s a lie. You just don’t want to make the time for it.
At some point, you’re gonna have to ditch the vices you use to cope and finally start the healing process.
Many of the things on your list of requirements for what you want from a man point to the sum of a man who doesn’t exist. Your desires are fictitious.
Yes, your looks matter. A lot. Always have, always will.
Your inability to practice long term self-discipline is why your life is the way it is.
Discipline 101
So you have the ambition. You have all the answers. All you lack is the discipline.
Unsurprisingly, this is a problem most people have, so don’t worry, you’re not alone.
Tell me, do you have a concrete goal? Or is it something vague like, “Rule the world”, or “get rich” or “become famous”?
Usually those who lack discipline have a habit of getting ahead of themselves and they end up having all these fantastic goals without any knowledge of how to achieve them. They have big ambitions, but no clear plans, no visible steps, and no foundation to start their life on. It’s the equivalent of standing on one side of the river and being able to see the other side, but having no method of making it across.
It’s good to have a starting point, and know what you want in the end. But the path to earning what you desire isn’t pre-made for you. It’s up to you to lay every brick and measure everything out. In your life, you’re the architect, you’re the engineer, you’re the investor, you’re everything.
So the how do you get some discipline? It’s simple: You need to know how you’re going to do something, before you set out to do it.
Step 1: Get Motivated
Make a list. And make sure you handwrite it. Two columns. Think about everything you have a problem with, all your interests and passions, and everything you have ever wanted in one column. In the other column, spend as much time as you need to come up with solutions to each issue/goal. Don’t write one side, without the other.
Spend a couple days looking at that list. Make it into a poster, use it as your phone background, it doesn’t matter as long as you make sure you see it every day until you feel something. I’m saying that incredibly vaguely because people are fueled by different emotions. For me, it was rage.
Every morning, I stared at that list of everything I’d ever wanted, every little problem that made my life miserable and I got furious. To see what my life revolved around so callously written on paper, and feeling so close yet so far, that drove me insane. My anger made my passion double, and nothing fuels discipline more than passion.
Step 2: Plan
Once you’ve gotten yourself suitably motivated to take charge of your life, don’t waste any time. Start by creating a plan. Now that you know what you want to do, figure out how to do it.
Create a timeline for the next year and then a looser version for the next ten years. It can sound daunting, but when you fall off track at some point (and I can guarantee, you will) you’re going to need something to point you in the right direction.
For your detailed, one year plan, make sure your goals are distributed into two categories: Short term and Long term.
For your short term goals, list everything you want to achieve in that year and how exactly you’re going to do it.
For example, if you want to lose weight, I don’t just want to see you write down “lose weight”. Tell me how. Tell me how much. Tell me by when. “Lose five pounds by October by going to the gym 4 days a week”, or “Cut down on eating X food so I can lose 5 pounds by October”, etc. Be specific.
For your long term goals, pick 3 things you want in general. The first thing should be something you can achieve in that year, and it should be the focus of your entire year. The second thing is something you don’t necessarily need, but it makes you happy anyways (like spending more time on a hobby, or saving money for a new designer bag, etc.). The third thing should be something that stays fairly consistent in every single ‘year-plan’ you have. Ultimately, it’s either your most important desire, or very close to it.
These long term goals will help you put together your 10 year plan, and create a better sense of direction in your life.
Step 3: Prioritize
Learn to prioritize these tasks and goals. Don’t go to sleep until you’ve felt like you’ve completed all your tasks for the day. Don’t give in to distractions and the illusion of “well-deserved fun”. Sure, going clubbing may seem fun on Saturday, but it won’t be fun on Sunday night when you’re frantically writing a paper that’s due in two hours. There’s always time for fun later, there’s always another concert and another football game and another party. But some things have a greater impact on your life than just one night of “fun”.
I’m not saying become some kind of a workaholic. There’s always a time and a place for everything. If you try to follow your plan without any distractions or any fun, you’re going to get bored and then you’re start to hate your plan and your life and then it gets messy. Avoid all that by knowing when you’ve earned a break. It’s very important to discern when you can afford to step away from work to have fun with your friends and when going out is just going to distract you from an important deadline.
Step 4: Act
Now, don’t just write these goals down and shove them in a dusty file on your desk. Keep them within arms reach. Look at them frequently. What I like to do is every morning, I write down a short term goal I have for that week/day/month and one of my long-term goals in my planner. It’s just a little reminder and keeps me focused throughout the day. I don’t feel like my day is complete or productive until I’ve had some progress on either the long term or short term goal.
Also, keep in mind that while planning is a great thing to do, don’t expect yourself to stick to every single detail of the plan. Life happens, and there are certain things you cannot control (although it wouldn’t hurt to try). Don’t be too hard on yourself if you find yourself unable to complete one of your goals for the day/week/month. It happens to everyone, we’re all human. What you need to focus on is the big picture and move on. Don’t waste precious time wallowing in past mistakes. Time doesn’t wait for anyone, least of all for you.
Step 5: Commit
Discipline doesn’t come from just being motivated or having a plan. It comes from consistency. Form productive habits, start efficient routines, and stick to them. For example, if you want to become a writer, make sure you write something, however small it is, everyday. One sentence, one paragraph, one page, the amount doesn’t matter. It’s important to understand that something, however small, is better than nothing. This constant dedication to your work will help you move one step closer to your goals.
The more you force yourself to stay in line when faced with temptation, the easier it will be every other time you are faced with the same challenge further down the line. Everyone forms habits. Just make sure they’re the right ones and you’d be shocked at how much your life could change.
Everything you need to become disciplined is inside of you. Everyone has the willpower and motivation. It’s just some people know what to do with it.
Just remember: Get motivated. Plan. Prioritize. Act. Commit
And the world is yours.
XIII Ways to Be a Lady
I. Always call and return your mother’s calls as promptly as you possibly can. Remind her in every conversation how appreciative you are – how much you love, miss and adore her. II. Make it a ritual to smile every morning. Doing so will send signals to the brain making it think it’s happy. Smiling is associated with happiness; this will naturally help the brain release endorphins (a chemical that promotes a healthy, elevated attitude). Maintaining a balanced diet and consistent workout regimen helps as well. III. Invest no time on men who feel indifferent towards your interests. A man who does not care what melodies ignite your heart strings with love, or exchanges words of endearment, is a man not worth getting to know. Real men know to cater to their significant other – internal and external. IV. Keep all negative social media activities to a minimum, no real lady engages or wastes time on things like Twitter subtweets or passive-aggressive Facebook statuses. Social media is démodé. V. Broaden your horizons. Become well-rounded, learn a new language, read more books, watch classic foreign films, subscribe to travelogue, take a culinary course! Culture yourself, actually know what you are talking about. No one likes a pretentious snob. VI. Stop looking at marriage as the defining endeavor in a woman’s life, no matter how much it has been ingrained into you. It should neither be something you actively disdain, nor something you seek out with deadlines. It’ll happen when you’re ready. VII. Never allow anyone to stop you from crying. Crying cleanses the soul. All you need is a rose petal bubble bath, aromatherapy and chamomile tea. Immerse yourself in a chocolate coma at Max Brenner if you must. Comfort food was made for moments like these. VIII. Your home should be a reflection of who you are. Keep fresh-cut flowers in your home, scented candles (personally, I love Diptyque and Jo Malone fragrance oils). Acquire a signature wine and master a delectable dish you can always serve to your guest – be a great hostess! IX. Show respect to people who don’t even deserve it; not as a reflection of their character, but as a reflection of yours. What you say about others says a lot more about you. X. Date the kind of person who will still respect you when you no longer love them. Date the kind of person who will still respect you when they no longer love you. Do not waste your emotional capacities on individuals whose respect for you is conditional. XI. Have at least one outfit ready in your wardrobe for almost every occasion: job interview, your first date, family events etc. The amount of headaches that can be spared by simply having a versatile blazer, LBD and pencil skirt at one’s disposal are incalculable. XII. What would Grace Kelly do? When in doubt, Rosé. XIII. Live by this quote: “Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.” —Kurt Vonnegut