my five year plan is to read dta and then read it again
Noah Kahan
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@cowboykissing
my five year plan is to read dta and then read it again
(please suspend your disbelief for the following post)
Shane hits free agency. There's no news about where he's going, if a team signed him up, or anything. Absolute silence from him and his team. People are either starting to panic thinking he's going to retire (at 30???? Shane Hollander????? Retiring?????), or that no team wants to sign him. It's chaos.
Then Shane's official account retweets a mini-documentary from a small local news station of Ottawa.
It starts with the reporter explaining that by going through their archives, they found out an old documentary from twenty years ago that they made with a class of local elementary students, and they thought it would be fun and nice to do a before/after, what did they become follow-up.
At first it alternates between footage of the first documentary, showing the students, etc, and then they switch to a bunch of adults talking in groups and eating at a buffet. You can easily recognize some of the grown-up children. Some of them not at all.
Then they go for the final question they asked the kids twenty years ago: what do you want to be when you'll be older? They show first the kid's answer, and then the adult they later becomes explains what they do now.
There were, of course, a lot of doctors (turns out med school really wasn't for me!), actresses (my parents tried to put me in a theater group and it was a disaster. never again.), various "a mom" and "a dad" (most of them did become parents), firefighters (I didn't make it but I did end up in a fire once), also a very strong "I'll be Prime Minister of Canada" (I work in politic now. I'll make it one day, just you wait!).
And then we cut to ten years old Shane Hollander. Very serious, very blunt, very sure of himself. "I'll be a hockey player."
There's a small laugh from behind the camera. " A hockey player?"
"Yeah. I'll be the best hockey player in the world and I'll get a lot of Cups and beat a lot of records."
"Would you be playing for Ottawa then?" the reporter asks.
Shane grimaces a bit. "I mean I love them but they're bad." Then he seems to think on it. "But since I'll be the best I can go play for them and make them win Cups too." He grins, now, earnest.
Hard cut to now thirty years old Shane Hollander, leaning back against a table, in jeans and an Ottawa Centaurs hoodie. The 81 on the sleeves reveals it's a Rozanov edition.
"Well I recently got married. We just came back from our honeymoon, actually." Then, he grins. "I'm a professional hockey player."
The reporter — the same one from twenty years ago — laughs. "What about the rest of your prediction?"
"Well, I'm one of the best current active players right now. My husband would say he's the best, stats would probably be mixed about it—" There's more laughter from behind the camera. "And until the end of the current season, I was a Montreal Voyageur."
"Until the end of the season?"
"Well," Shane says with a casual shrug, "our values didn't align anymore. And there was another place I wanted to be. I said it the first time, right? I need to bring some Cups to Ottawa."
Now, it's a gasp from the reporter. "So...?"
"As of two days ago, I'm officially an Ottawa Centaurs." Shane is smiling, and it's simple and fond and so terribly happy. "I'm very excited to play for my hometown, with this team. And, also, with my husband. I think it'll be very fun."
"And to get us some Cups, of course."
Shane grins, again. It's a bit smug, maybe, and there's a sparkle in his eyes. "Of course. I did promise it, didn't I? I respect my promises."
... Anyway that's how Shane officially announces he signed with Ottawa.
Again, post so good I must keeps forever.
You know that part of the Long Game where we learn Ilya had told Shane he could sleep with other people? And he did it because Shane had only begun to accept who he really was once he and Ilya started? Well I think that Shane at some point had a similar thought, that Ilya never got to be openly bi and single. And he knows how much Ilya loves sex and how he loved going out and meeting new people and fun, quick hookups. And he never got to do that truly free. So Shane’s like, I’d hate this with every fiber of my being and don’t think I can take it but I’m going to offer anyway because his love for Ilya sometimes still blinds him to how idiotic he’s being.
“You want me to… hookup with other people? Are you trying to make this open relationship?”
Ilya’s face is truly, entirely shocked for a split second. But almost immediately he sees that Shane is basically crying so he knows that’s not actually what Shane is saying.
“Sweetheart, what is going on. I have never seen someone look so sad while talking about sex.”
“Do you remember when you said I could sleep with other people, because I never really got to be out and single?”
Ilya remembered every agonizing second of those couple of days. Shane’s anger, Ilya’s helplessness, them finally realizing they were both being incredibly stupid. How could Shane look back at that and think Ilya would want to… what? Explore? Sometimes this man was so dumb Ilya could actually not believe he was real.
“So you are saying that you think I want to explore? Trust me, I explored.”
“But you weren’t out! You couldn’t like… go to some fucking obnoxious club and dance with men and be your real self.”
“Shane, is this your way of saying you want to see me in a club outfit? I know we have no gone out with friends in a minute, but I am always up for role play. You know this.”
Shane’s eyes had lost their focus the second Ilya said club outfit. He didn’t think he was thinking of that Montreal club, with Rose, they were so past that now. Maybe he was envisioning what Ilya might wear?
“Shane Hollander, tell me what you are actually thinking right now or I will scream.”
As Ilya took a big inhale, Shane knew he wasn’t kidding. He’d scream like some toddler having a tantrum just to shake out the knots Shane had tied in his own brain.
Shane mumbled, “There may be a black jock strap involved.”
“So you want me in a room full of men, dancing in nothing but a jock strap?” Ilya’s grin was wide, fully teasing his husband who still surprised him with his ability to go from tearing up to horny in mere seconds.
“Fuck, no. I want… I just want you to feel like you’ve gotten every to experience everything you’ve ever dreamed of, I guess. Or something like that, I don’t know, I’m being dumb.”
As always, in the midst of a freak out Shane had found a way to charm Ilya breathless.
“Shane, I do not dream of random men and meaningless hookups. I did not miss out on anything. I got everything I could have ever imagined, and so far beyond the limits of my own imagination I do not know how I got so lucky.”
They were fully embracing now, standing in their kitchen that had seen so many conversations like these. Moments where one of their brains had gotten twisted in a way that could only be smoothed out by the other’s patience and acceptance.
“I’m sorry.”
“Do not be. You have given me ideas.”
Shane rolled his eyes, and pushed his face into Ilya’s neck.
He groaned softly. “Tell me your ideas.”
[I’m going to call this part one and it will probably become a short fic overall because now *I* have ideas. And kudos to the post on here that I can’t find anymore that showed a side profile of a torso and butt of someone in jeans, a black jock strap hiked up over the hips, and short black tank and called it Ilya-coded. Because it is Ilya-coded and it simply needs to be explored.]
do me a favor and plz reblog with your five most recently used non-face, non-hand, non-heart emojis
tv show. white man. hes sad. he has to do important thing but its hard. his girlfriend died probably. TWSIT!! theres another white man. maybe MORE. hes sad too but for different reason. its very deep probably. theyre best friends but not gay but maybe they are haha fandom!!! every girl dies or goes away. just not gay white man friend. 10 seasons 100 million viewers. what will moody white men do this week.
This post just turned 10 years old which is pretty fucked up actually. When I made this post people would say things like “actually supernatural only has 8 seasons” but here we are in 2023 so who’s laughing now. Not me I want to die
Woke King?: This NHL Player is Dating a Brunette Woman
spreading the lover boy Ilya Rozanov agenda
trad wife aesthetics piss me off so much. what's traditional about having an instagram
its crazy that several thousand years have passed and now helen of troy plays for the mlh. from my understanding we are about to witness a 9 year siege on the walls of ottawa
you have the blood of akasha in you. I have the autism gift. we are not the same
the thing about shane hollander is that he's the bravest little bug in the whole world
our age of rivalry is heating
do you think they will include the jj matchmaking scene. nooo don't have a crush on rozanov shane he's definitely straight that's no way to live bro
they would not fucking say that + I understand that you're going for a cultural reference but this one really didn't work + calling the guy who buys sports cars for fun a communist is hilarious
cathal kelly, the globe and mail
@gaysie