[nessa007]

[kaijufluffs]

She's being so big and brave.

[phaeton-flier]

Bear religion probably fucking rocks. You're a fucking bear, you're the deadliest thing on earth, once a year an endless supply of salmon just flings itself up the river to gorge on and then you nap for 3 months.

[phaeton-flier]

The most delicious food in the world is protected by tiny demons who can defend it from everyone except you. Your natural armor is thick enough that you can just eat the damn hive while they buzz around you. God's chosen animals right there

[theaudientvoid]

[transcyberism]

the species that can take you out are literally wizards with magic boom sticks that instantly wound you from a distance. they're mostly just scared of you though, if you catch one without the boom stick they're very easy to kill. also they leave treasure chests full of delicious food around where they live and if you're smart you can figure out how to open them. going into one of their settlements is basically a dungeon crawler RPG.

[biglawbear]

Hibernation lasts 6 months in Alaska I think. Truly powerful.

[thoodleoo]

king priam told me achilles keeps killing his warriors so i asked how many warriors he has and he said he just goes to the anatolian countryside and recruits new warriors afterwards so i said it sounds like he’s just feeding warriors to achilles and then hector started crying.

[bigbigtruck]

quotes taken from the source

(the 4th one is Bumpus wanting dinner, friends can back me up on this)

[saxifraga-x-urbium]

come back to me most perfect of comics

[hollow-hoard]

book antics

(this is mine but i don't feel like putting it on the other account. it's my blog i can do what i want)

[hollow-head]

ok on a funnier note

the ace besties sharing a duplex somewhere

[wolfythewitch]

​metaphorically undressing myself via truth nuke

[kilosink]

They are asking (respectfully) to see your coin collection (no intentions of taking to add to their horde)

[positivestress]

I wish I was a female tiger because then if I was talking to someone and I was getting off topic I could say “but I tigress,” and then kill and eat them because I am a tiger

[cryptotheism]

The term "book of the dead" doesnt really give you perspective to how big a lot of Egyptian funerary texts are.

Imhoteps book of the Dead is 64 feet long.

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

Okay, but a lot of books would be that long if you laid the pages out

[nsomniacsdream]

the average printed page is 6 inches wide. so if a book is 128 pages, its 64 ft long. I dont think I own a book with fewer than 128 pages.

[cryptotheism]

It's honestly not that impressive at all. Fuck Imhotep and his pathetic short book.

[birdwarde]

Happy World Oceans day! 🌊

[crowwkui]

mock book cover 📚 i couldn't come up with a good title ᴗ_ᴗ

[catoswound-moved]

you cant even begin poems with "i will sodomise and facef uck you" anymore. because of woke .

[queixumes]

[unquietgravekeeper]

Holy fuck

[ariaste]

Catullus really was dealing with fandom antis 2000 years ago and we are still dealing with them now and they still do suck in exactly this way

rip catullus you would have hated tumblr

[professorsparklepants]

Are we going to talk about the fact that the translator turned it into a shape poem. Of a penis.

[afraidtoblink]

[Image description: the first image is a screenshot of a Wikipedia article, reading: "Catullus 16 or Carmen 16 is a poem by Gaius Valerius Catullus (c. 84 BC – c. 54 BC). The poem, written in a hendecasyllabic (11-syllable) meter, was considered to be so sexually explicit following its rediscovery in the following centuries that a full English translation was not published until the 20th century.[1] The first line, Pēdīcābō ego vōs et irrumābō ('I will sodomize and face-fuck you'), sometimes used as a title, has been called "one of the filthiest expressions ever written in Latin—or in any other language".[2]"

The second image is the poem in question, indeed arranged to look like a phallus. The text reads: "Catullus 16 / Translated by Scurfield / I'll fuck you in the ass and face fuck you, / cocksucker Aurelius, and butt boy Furius. / You think that because I write tender poetry / That I too am so soft? Pious poets might be chaste- / their poetry need not be, whose charm and wit, / if tender and rather sensual, / can incite an itch / not just in boys but / in those hairy men / who can't move / their limp dicks. / So what if I write / about a thousand / kisses? You think / I'm less of a man? / I'll fuck you in the ass / and face fuck / you." End ID.]

[pocketss]

Ummm she's literally sensitive :/

[ladysantos]

typhon, father of all monsters

[dilutedh2so4]

Christopher Ransom did devour with this line

[river-of-wine]

Hades gives Orpheus a trial he knows he himself could never succeed at, but it isn’t just that Hades knows he would turn around. Hades has been failing this trial every single year. He shows up too early. He turns too soon. He is so full of doubt that even the natural order of the world, that Persephone will return to him, is not something he can trust. Hades would fail the trial he has given Orpheus, and he already has. All alone, his blood runs thin.