The Oregon Daily Journal, Portland, September 18, 1916

titsay
will byers stan first human second
RMH
YOU ARE THE REASON
Xuebing Du

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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

shark vs the universe
d e v o n
sheepfilms
Stranger Things
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One Nice Bug Per Day

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
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Cosimo Galluzzi
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@creepinggemivy
The Oregon Daily Journal, Portland, September 18, 1916
God, y’all are RAVENOUS for Sirius & Harry hurt/comfort, especially a traumatized Harry. This is what we lost with fanon Sirius for real. Remember when this was like…such a popular genre of hp fic in the 2000-2010s??? What happened to us… we used to have whump. We used to have Sirius putting Harry first, not his wet noodle bf.
We should do a biannual Good Godfather Sirius Black fest lol
Hermione: Okay — He’s a 10, but he kills people, calls his sycophants ‘Death Eaters’, and hasn’t gotten over his rather specific fear of babies. Harry: Hmm… and what’s my pet name? Hermione, sighing in dismay: He calls you ‘Darling’- Harry: Smash — we don’t need kids.
from the perspective of persephone trying to eat a damn pomegranate in peace
their tongues
they synchronize
Weeping at this. Frighteningly similar to how I sound
I wonder how many of y'all have heard of prisencolinensinainciusol
Never heard of it. Please tell me more
There is not a single word in this song. There is no language or listener to whom it makes sense.
The context behind this song is amazing. Basically, at the time Italy was going through a big interest in American rock-and-roll music (sort of like a Kpop craze).
Enter Adriano Celentano: a top Italian rockstar. Effortlessly talented, deservedly popular, and extremely funny. Celentano decides to use his talent for evil. He composes a kind of a parody: a song that mimics English but is entirely gobbledegook, improvised to such an earworm you will find yourself humming it while doing laundry 5 years from now.
He performs it on Italian TV. It's an instant hit. Tops all the charts in Italy. And France. And Germany. And Belgium. Everyone goes nuts. It's a great comedy of American rock-and-roll. And of music itself.
"I like American slang — which, for a singer, is much easier to sing than Italian — I thought that I would write a song which would only have as its theme the inability to communicate. And to do this, I had to write a song where the lyrics didn't mean anything." -- Celentano, age 74
Who are the Lestrange brothers?
The first time we see them is at their trial. Rodolphus and Rabastan are mentioned together three times in the series; the two times they're mentioned by name, Rodolphus is mentioned first. Therefore, since there's no other way to make a guess, I might guess that Rodolphus is the first man mentioned in the trial scene and Rabastan is the second.
Neither of them get much of a physical description: Harry doesn't note their hair color, their skin color, or any defining facial features, even though he does note these for Bellatrix and Barty (and before either of them start speaking, so it's not that).
Harry sees them again in the newspaper when they escape from Azkaban, and again he does not give them any physical description, or even really seem to notice them at all. Same with their photos that are on the shops at Hogsmeade. They're at the Department of Mysteries, but Harry doesn't recognize them and/or bother to note who they are.
Rodolphus is of much more interest to me than Rabastan because of his relationship with Bellatrix, so I'm just going to talk about him but you can apply certain things to Rabastan too.
The trial is the only time in the entire series that Bellatrix verbally acknowledges Rodolphus's existence, when she refers to the four of them as 'we' and 'us,' and implies that Rodolphus (and Rabastan and Barty) is in Voldemort's high favor and that Voldemort will rescue all of them together:
Bellatrix does not mention Rodolphus when she's in Spinner's End, nor do either of the other characters—on the contrary, she spends much of the chapter talking about Voldemort. Rodolphus doesn't come up any of the times Narcissa mentions her own husband (like being angry at Bellatrix for blaming Lucius), he doesn't come up when Bellatrix speaks of her hypothetical sons (and she says if I had sons, as if Rodolphus doesn't even exist), Snape doesn't bring up Rodolphus's imprisonment or failure at the DoM to mock Bellatrix. Narcissa defends Lucius, references her helplessness with Lucius in Azkaban, references Lucius's opinions to convince Snape to help her; Bellatrix does not reference Rodolphus once. Lucius's name is mentioned eight times in this chapter; not once do any of the characters even allude to Bellatrix being married. Rodolphus is treated by all three characters like he does not exist.
The combination of Bellatrix not even acknowledging Rodolphus's existence, and then proceeding to, presumably in front of Rodolphus both times, tell another man he is her highest pleasure and speak to him as if to a lover, is really telling of how she sees Rodolphus. Does Bellatrix not mention Rodolphus perhaps because she's just really private, or just not an affectionate person? No, because of how she interacts with Voldemort.
Rodolphus is not mentioned at the Death Eater meeting in The Dark Lord Ascending. I hadn't thought about this until I saw Lady_Escapist write about it on AO3, but Tonks is also Rodolphus's niece, yet Voldemort ignores him completely like he's not there. I’m talking about your niece, Bellatrix. And yours, Lucius and Narcissa... AND RODOLPHUS! And Rodolphus failed to get the prophecy; Voldemort would have every reason to mock and humiliate him too. But he doesn't. Or, perhaps, does he, when he responds to Bellatrix's initial statement? Maybe, but I don't see how that would excuse him from the Tonks comment. It doesn't seem to me like Voldemort is interested in humiliating Rodolphus, which makes me think the 'no higher pleasure' exchange is not something that would offend Rodolphus.
We know Rodolphus is at the Battle of the Seven Potters, since Tonks mentions him:
He was fighting alongside Bellatrix, the same as in the Department of Mysteries. It seems they typically work together, since Lucius automatically pairs them together, and then they work together in a second unrelated situation where Lucius is not in charge. One could conclude from this that Rodolphus is a very strong duelist—Bellatrix would not do this otherwise (ie out of obligation), since we see that she does not seem to consider them a unit outside of DE work. It could also be that he is weaker, and the DEs get assigned with one strong fighter in each pair/group. But since Voldemort speaks very highly of 'the Lestranges' in the graveyard, and Rodolphus had a high ranking place in the DE circle (more below), I would guess that it's the former, and he's a very competent DE.
I've seen some people interpret that 1. Rodolphus intentionally took a curse for Bellatrix, and 2. that the quote below is about Rodolphus. There's no evidence for either of these, I don't think. But either is plausible, if you like to believe it—the second one less so, since we know that Tonks identifies Rodolphus by name when she speaks of him. Also given that the Death Eaters were consistently stopping to save each other when they fell off their brooms, getting Stunned is not necessarily a sign of an injury. These read to me like two different people.
It's of note that Rodolphus doesn't directly appear anywhere in the Deathly Hallows. He's not one of the DEs at the cafe, at Xenophilius Lovegood's; he's not the one who almost catches them going to Gringotts; he doesn't get named or described at the Battle of Hogwarts. He doesn't have a presence in Harry's life.
Similarly, he doesn't have a presence in the lives of the other Death Eaters or Voldemort. When the trio is captured at Malfoy Manor, Rodolphus does not seem to be there, even though we know his wife lives there. Maybe they don't live together, or maybe Rodolphus doesn't go insert himself into situations he's not part of and was simply somewhere else in the house, or maybe he was just not home. Who knows.
At Malfoy Manor, Bellatrix refers to 'my vault.' We learn later from Griphook—and from the goblin that comes to speak to Voldemort—that it's actually 'the Lestranges' vault.' Again, Bellatrix speaks as if her husband does not exist.
If Rodolphus is present when Voldemort finds out the cup was stolen, he doesn't note him. In fact, he doesn't seem to think he had anything to do with it:
A grave mistake to trust Bellatrix and Malfoy... AND RODOLPHUS!
Voldemort only speaks of Rodolphus once, in the graveyard:
He speaks of him positively, in terms of both past and future. Again, Rodolphus has a high rank in the DE circle; the Lestranges are right next to Lucius. Well I guess this is just my interpretation, but it seems like Wormtail gets placed at the very end of the circle (back beside Lucius) and then Lucius is by Bellatrix, I just think it makes sense that this is a ranking system. It may not be. The fact that it's specified in what order they're standing clues to me that there's a reason for it.
Anyway, Voldemort speaks positively about Rodolphus the one time he speaks of him. Rodolphus has—perhaps indirectly, but nonetheless—been entrusted with a horcrux. Voldemort breaks Rodolphus out of Azkaban twice (and the first time Rodolphus is broken out, Voldemort feels the happiest he's been in 14 years—I don't read these as related, as I read this being about Bellatrix, just a note because technically it could be). Voldemort does not mock Rodolphus at the DE meeting, he does not blame him when the cup is stolen. Their relationship feels somewhere on the spectrum of 'Voldemort likes Rodolphus a lot' to 'Voldemort considers Rodolphus irrelevant and forgets he exists.'
How does Rodolphus feel about Voldemort? He tortures the Longbottoms for information; he goes to Azkaban quietly and willingly. Voldemort—a very powerful Legilimens—leaves the cup in Rodolphus's access throughout the entirety of Deathly Hallows. He trusts him. I conclude from this that Rodolphus is not offended at how Bellatrix interacts with Voldemort, or at whatever relationship they have. Perhaps he simply doesn't have a relationship with Bellatrix that would provoke him to be offended; perhaps he is even proud of having a close relation be so close to Voldemort and feels it brings him honor.
The combination of this and that Bellatrix doesn't seem to consider them a unit leads me to guess that Bellatrix and Rodolphus don't function as a partnership outside of DE work.
This is supported by the fact that Bellatrix refers to her 'family' only once in the series (though she does acknowledge individual blood relations like Narcissa and Sirius), in The Dark Lord Ascending ('our family's house'), and this is not about Rodolphus, just the Malfoys (and, it indirectly ropes Voldemort sort of into this category by his presence there). If Bellatrix considers Rodolphus her family, we never see her acknowledge it.
However, they probably have ongoing, established, and stable trust and respect between them, considering they choose to fight together against people who are trying to kill them (Tonks). I see no evidence of bad blood, but rather a positive professional relationship, and likely separate personal lives (whether somewhat or entirely). Whether or not they are friends is ambiguous.
Compare this also to the established and stable trust that Voldemort has for Rodolphus. Rodolphus is a noble and trustworthy person who is unwavering in his loyalty to his wife (she allows him in a position where he may have to defend her life) and to his master.
There are a number of explanations for all these things, anything from Rodolphus is so madly in love with Bellatrix (who barely remembers he exists) that nothing else matters, to Rodolphus being so loyal to Voldemort that whatever Voldemort and Bellatrix are doing doesn't matter in comparison, or they were never a romantic couple, or many other things. Rodolphus can be reasonably written in fics in many many different ways.
In summary, Rodolphus (and Rabastan, as applies):
-was loyal enough to Voldemort in the First War to seek him out after his disappearance (Who among the Lestranges and Barty, if anyone, knew about the horcrux(es)? Did Rodolphus know, as Bellatrix seems to at Malfoy Manor? If so, a huge sign that Voldemort trusts him very much), and to go to Azkaban quietly and without protest. He is spoken about positively but minimally by Voldemort, and is ranked highly among the DEs.
-is a competent enough duelist to fight with Bellatrix multiple times, though not at the level of Bellatrix, as he doesn't avoid capture or injury.
-has a quiet, missable presence; has no real physical features or mannerisms of great note beyond being thickset and blank, or thin and nervous; doesn't speak or make himself noticeable; doesn't appear in any direct action (though this is partly just coincidence that Harry doesn't run into him in the DoM or somewhere in DH, because clearly he is present and an active DE).
-is not offended by the way Bellatrix speaks and acts with Voldemort, even when it's in front of him and public.
When I've written Rodolphus, I characterize him as calm, quiet, and having a very high tolerance for unpleasantness (as we see at his trial) and low reactivity. He simultaneously keeps himself a bit in the background while still being a high ranking Death Eater. There's something interesting about the combination of these character traits with someone who has tortured multiple people until they lost their minds. I write him as having a pretty much entirely positive relationship with Voldemort, but being less relevant in each other's lives than much of the rest of the DE inner circle are to each other. And I write Rodolphus and Bellatrix as having a good relationship, but not being romantically involved.
I characterize Rabastan mostly based on the description of being thinner and more nervous-looking than his brother, because there's not much to work with. But similarly to Rodolphus, Rabastan keeps himself a little out of the action, and has substantially less of a relationship with Voldemort than DEs like Bellatrix or Lucius do—and yet, he still has so much faith in Voldemort that he wants to find him when he disappears even at great personal cost. Despite being visibly nervous at his trial, he keeps himself together, and he rises quietly from his chair to go to Azkaban.
For a character we never really see, Rodolphus in particular really does have a lot of information on him in the series, you just have to look for it.
Airlines must be accountable for their treatment of passengers with disabilities, Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg said.
oh my god, I might literally throw a party. I might literally buy myself a cake tonight. thank you, thank you, thank you, Pete Buttigieg.
things that have happened to me specifically while flying american:
being asked to stand in a very long line to check my bag before they'd let me have access to a wheelchair
not being picked up by an attendant in time to get to my flight despite arriving over two hours early
being loaded into a broken accessible bathroom. the door wouldn't close all the way so my naked body was visible to people in the terminal.
being refused restroom access at all, sometimes for hours at a time. I'd say that this one happens about 80% of the time when I fly, especially when getting off the plane.
being denied stops for food at the airport as well
being left outside a restroom for over an hour because the attendant straight-up left. I had to TWEET AT THE AIRPORT FOR HELP because I knew being public was the only thing that would work.
being left on plane for over 45 minutes for the same exact reason. once off the plane, I was left at the gate for an additional hour. my parents, waiting for me at baggage, were frantic. a gate agent got into a screaming match with a wheelchair attendant. it was wild.
having a wheelchair attendant harass me about my homosexuality the entire time they took me through the airport; I'd just come from pride and had an identifying t-shirt. I couldn't get away from them or their lectures about being a good christian.
never being collected for a connecting flight, forcing me to walk or miss the flight. I dislocated my shoulder trying to get there.
once I was loaded onto a shuttle but no one bothered UNloading me, so I had to bang on the glass to get passersby's attention
not being preboarded a solid... I'd say 20% of the time. this is important because preboarding means I don't need to stand for an extended period in a narrow aisle behind people putting their things away, and also provides me with additional space to put away my accessibility devices.
once this happened because the wheelchair attendant was late (as usual) and the gate attendant assured me they'd hold the line so the aisle would be clear. once I got down there, they refused to do this and wanted me to stand for 15 minutes, which would have been incredibly painful while holding my bags. I refused to board until the aisle was clear, so they started directing passengers around my wheelchair. it was only after a passenger straight up refused to board and blocked everyone else that the aisle was cleared and I was allowed to board.
I have also had passengers break rules to take me to the bathroom when I was literally weeping at the gate from how badly I needed to pee and how much I did not want to publicly wet myself. thank you to those passengers. (and the ones that yell that I need to be preboarded when they "forget" to do so.)
I've been told to get off the plane because my wheelchair was there, but got off the plane to find out that it wasn't -- and they wouldn't let me back on the plane. they wanted me to walk to baggage, but I couldn't. I sat down on the filthy floor of the bridge and wouldn't move until they brought a wheelchair, no matter how much they yelled at me and threatened me with security. what a fucking mess.
they have given away my seat near the front of the plane before and forced me to walk to the back of the plane. I was openly sobbing from the pain by the time I made it back there.
things that have happened while flying in general (TSA, other airlines, etc.):
(trigger warning for sexual assault)
TSA giving you the most invasive pat-downs you can imagine. if you remain in your wheelchair, often they will run their hands under your thighs, bottom, and genitalia. the weight of your own body means that I have had fingers part my outer labia through my pants. one I started crying during a pat-down because I am a survivor of CSA and they yelled at me then restarted the pat-down from the top.
I have had attendants refuse to help me with my belongings during security, instead insisting that I get out of the chair and do it myself
I have had security make me get out of the chair, then lose the chair until my legs gave out and I sat on the floor, which also got me yelled at
broken accessible bathrooms have happened at MULTIPLE airports.
delta has broken not one but TWO of my personal wheelchairs
once while boarding an attendant (who was already mad at me because I'd refused to walk up the steep tarmac ramp without wheelchair assistance) grabbed my cane while I was using it and I almost fell. I was never notified that this would be a tarmac boarding to begin with.
once, during a different tarmac boarding, they expected us to go down a flight of stairs, despite me being loaded onto the plane via wheelchair. I would not go down the stairs and they had to call for the lift to be brought. it took about a half hour, and the entire time the attendants kept asking me if I really needed it and wouldn't I just go down the stairs? like I was just being a recalcitrant child and not someone who's broken her ankle stepping off a curb before.
honestly the refusal to let me eat and pee is pretty universal, as is wheelchair attendants ghosting me, refusing to talk to me, acting like they're transporting luggage instead of a person, etc.
believe it or not, that is not an exhaustive list. they're just the first examples that come to mind. whenever I fly and it goes completely smoothly, that's more of a shock.
and like... it's dehumanizing. it really is. not being allowed to go to the restroom? having people refuse to talk to you? being abandoned in random hallways?
I'm always in so much pain after I fly, a fact that is generally worsened by poor treatment at the airport, and even the literal dislocations have hurt less than being treated like I'm less of a human person than my fellow passengers.
so uh. rock on, Buttigieg. fine them into fucking oblivion. I'll be cheering you on the whole way.
The fact that Snape is one of the youngest if not THE youngest professor is fucking hilarious.
Like how does he get away with half the shit he does like almost everyone there has taught him since he was 11 and they just see this 21 year old just walk back in like "Sup fuckers I'm a professor now by force better so you better start treating me like one."
7th years in the school are like probably "Didn't this fucker graduate 3 years ago?"
Imagine being a fourth year who has done /said something to your classmate Snape and then in your 7th year he's your TEACHER
THAT'S LOCKHART THAT'S LITERALLY LOCKHART LIKE
1. He Went to School with Snape
2. Got taught by Snape
3. Became part of the Staff like Snape
And the Fact that he's acting like he knew shit about potions is hilarious cause you just got Snape in the corner like
"Listen here you little shit . I taught you. I've seen your test scores. I graded those shits and you coming in here talking about being able to come up with an antidote?...Sit down."
The more people reblog this the more shock I am that they didnt know Snape started teaching at like 21 and he's like 30 first book
People in the tags for the past week having been confused and going bananas so like we gonna forget about the movies. Because the movies got it all wrong
Snape is 31
Hagrid is 63
Professor Mcgonagall is 56
Lupin and Sirius and Peter (3rd movie/book) 33
Dumbledore is 112
Do what you will with this info fam
You forgot Burbage. In the books, she's in her twenties.
Bringing this back around, when Snape started teaching in Aug/September 1981, he was 21
In Aug/September 1981, Lockhart was 17 :')
lockhart, 17, never fucking learned how to read: actually professor ;-)
snape, professorially, as if he hasn’t just had his last growth spurt: on god, i’ll smack the shit out you. put—your hand—down.
@cokeworthcauldrons , your tags are fantastic
A regular staff meeting in ootp
Dadmort! There’s sand clinging to Voldemort’s knees, and Harry clinging to him. Who knew snakemort would get sunburnt?
This is also not from a prompt list; it's a quick alternate scene for chapter 5 of The Way to a Man's Heart, in which Tom does enlist a polyjuiced Harry in his plan.
This is also likely my last one of these, but it has been a very fun half-promptober. Thank you @theonceandfuturequeenoftarts for the impetus!!
When Tom came bursting through the doors, wand raised and face curling into a triumphant smile at the thought of finally catching the intruder, he was faced with…
With a crow, hopping around indignantly surrounded by shards of window glass and pottery.
He cast a rain of blisteringly powerful spells through the room, designed to strip away every kind of artifice and force animagi to regain their human form. Nothing could withstand them.
The crow stayed resolutely avian.
He cast a highly illegal tracking spell to reveal everywhere the crow had been over the last two hours. It showed him a meandering route going nowhere but back and forth between two of the trees in the grounds outside before it petered out.
Tom took a deep breath. He was absolutely calm. He shot a very precise blasting curse, but the crow chose that moment to hop behind the now-empty plinth. The curse merely hit one of the shards of pottery, disintegrating it still further.
Tom raised his wand again, an avada at his lips, before abruptly changing his mind. Perhaps there would be more information to be gleaned from the bird later. He instead transfigured the pottery shards into a cage, enclosing the crow within the uncomfortably small space, and apparated away.
“I don’t know, boss. You mean it’s really not an animagus? I didn’t think crows were clever enough to plan heists by themselves.”
Tom, exercising incredible levels of control, did not hex Harry.
It did not help that the polyjuice had not worn off; he was being faced by his own figure, his own voice, spouting these inanities as they both sat in the room where the trap had been triggered. Tom had only brought back Harry so far, to ensure he did not spend longer out in public impersonating Tom; but of course he could not bring the rest of the staff back until Harry looked like himself again.
Thus, on top of the lack of his thief, Tom was forced to endure Harry’s conversation.
“Maybe someone has trained a whole bunch of crows!” Harry tried next, leaning forwards in his excitement. He did not suit Tom’s body. He was far too uncontrolled. Tom was glad he had demanded nothing more of Harry than a physical appearance in Brighton, judging that enough to prove his own absence from the manor.
Tom looked down at the encaged crow instead.
“No,” he said. “This was likely a clumsy attempt to trigger any protective measures before the real thief entered.” And Tom – he could admit this much to himself – had been too quick off the mark, too eager to bring this pitiful attempt at opposing him to an end. If he had waited ten more minutes, he was sure he would have been rewarded by seeing the true thief attempt to enter. It was the only logical explanation for what had happened.
“Way too clumsy to work on you, boss,” Harry agreed, nodding.
“Indeed,” Tom said. The polyjuice should have been about ready to wear off. And thankfully, even as Tom turned to frown at Harry – at his own face – he could see Harry’s features bleeding through.
“Can I keep the crow?” Harry asked. “It looks kind of sad, stuck there.”
“You cannot keep the crow,” Tom said flatly, looking Harry up and down as the final traces of the polyjuice wore off. Harry was still in a copy of Tom’s suit, the one he usually wore beneath his robes. It didn’t quite fit him, but it was also not a terrible sight. Perhaps Tom ought to make the dress code for all of his staff a little stricter.
“Right, right,” Harry said, nodding. “Because it might scheme against you.”
Tom stood abruptly, leaning down over Harry’s chair.
“Nobody is scheming against me,” he said, allowing some of the anger he had kept leashed to spill over. “This is a temporary aberration. I will find whoever is behind this, and I will bring them to the justice they deserve.”
“Of course you will, boss!” Harry said, as always too slow-witted to be moved by Tom’s anger. “I’m sure nobody could bluff their way past you, not once you’re on their trail.”
“Precisely,” Tom said, still leaning down over Harry. “Once I see this person, I will know just how to act.”
Harry nodded vigorously. “And they didn’t even manage to mess anything up this time! Except the window, I guess. And that nice pot.” He looked up at Tom. “Want me to clean up in here?”
“Yes,” Tom said, finally leaning back and looking round the room. There was nothing more to be gained here; nothing in this room that would point towards his thief. “And then you may prepare a light supper,” he added. “I will be in my study.” He would have to find another way to entrap this person. The use of Harry as a decoy had been suitable, and he would not scruple to utilise that again; it added the necessary seal of authenticity as to his whereabouts.
Yes, next time, with a little more patience and with Harry’s physical if not mental assistance, he would succeed. There was no other option.
Harry paused after Tom had swept off and just before he got to work cleaning, or rather double-checking what spells Tom had set through the room, in case Harry needed to negate similar ones another time.
“Great job,” he whispered down to the crow. “I’ve got plenty of treats for you in the kitchen.”
yeah so,
perfect new meme template just dropped
example usage
wait I'm not done
Tom having a nice conversation with a snake, as requested by @fluffy-dino ! 🐍