Hi there! This is where I put my Omegle RPs. I’m mostly on Good Omens, but I’ve done a lot of Johnlock here (and still May dabble from time to time). My logs may not be in chronological order, but I've still had fun with them nonetheless. Feel free to follow or ask what you wish. I don't bite. I’m terrible at messaging here, but if you ask for my discord or email, I’d be happy to RP there!
“your friend is dead, and their corpse is inhabited by something only you can see for what it truly is" is already good horror. but "you begin to love the thing that wears their face"? the blasphemy of it. terror turning into desire. grief turning into longing. being enticed by what should repel you. it twists the knife deeper, because the horror is not based on deception anymore. the fear comes from recognizing the monster in its raw form and finding beauty there. you're not clinging to scraps of your friend, you're surrendering to something other, something wrong, and loving it. you're not holding onto a ghost of the past, it’s the monster itself that you choose
[If this was you and you'd like to continue, please reach out!]
You, Crowley, are connected to Nina [Good Omens]
Your partner has a starter. Type /starter or tap here to see it.
Your common tags are ineffable husbands and ineffable wives
Crowley: /starter
Nina [Good Omens]: [Ineffable Wives/Human AU. CW: Cults/religious extremism, abuse, pregnancy-related trauma. Fem Crowley and Aziraphale were raised in a devout Christian cult led by the Metatron, who claims that God speaks directly to him. When they were sixteen, Crowley got into serious trouble and ended up being kicked out of the community. She always thought Aziraphale was the one to turn her in. It's been eight years since they last saw each other. Open to whatever gender nonsense Crowley has going on. Starting as Nina, will switch to Aziraphale.] Hey Crowley, do you have any resources or contacts that helped you out back when you were sleeping rough? N
Crowley: I mean, there's a few, but it's been a while. Why? C
Nina [Good Omens]: Maggie's collecting strays again. N
Crowley: It sorta depends on what the needs are. Can you tell me a bit about this one? C
Nina [Good Omens]: I know you don't follow the news super closely, but did you hear about that horrible religious cult that collapsed down south? N
Crowley: [...] What now? C
Nina [Good Omens]: I'll take that as a no. N
Crowley: Okay seriously, what were they called? C
Nina [Good Omens]: Heaven's Gate. N
Crowley: Ha! Oh, that is some sweet karma. C Who knows, I might actually know them depending on how long they've been in it. C
Nina [Good Omens]: What, seriously? N
Crowley: Yeah. C I know I haven't mentioned it before. Just wanna forget about the whole thing most days. C
Nina [Good Omens]: Christ, Crowley. Were you in a cult? N
Crowley: It was a long time ago, and I'm a different person now. Thank somebody.. C
Nina [Good Omens]: Fuck, that's awful. N You don't have to help me with this girl if it'll be hard for you. N
Crowley: [...] What's her name? C
Nina [Good Omens]: Aziraphale. N
Crowley: Shit. C Okay. How exactly does she seem? C
Nina [Good Omens]: Based on that reaction, I'm guessing you know her. N Honestly? Not great. N
Crowley: How so? C
Nina [Good Omens]: Well, she's pregnant. N
Crowley: Wow, alright. C Yeah, I do know her. She's likely the reason I was kicked out in the first place. C Blessing in disguise, looking back, but it still hurt at the time. C
Nina [Good Omens]: Oh shit. N
Crowley: Have you told her about me yet? C
Nina [Good Omens]: No. N
Crowley: I'll let you be the judge of that then. Betting she's in a state if she just got out of that mess. C
Nina [Good Omens]: I really think she should see a doctor, but she's refusing to go. N
Crowley: Probably a good idea to, but we were brought up that doctors are baby murderers who pump poisons into people and all sorts of other rubbish. C She may not have learned differently yet. C
Nina [Good Omens]: So how do you suggest I convince her? N
Crowley: I have one idea, but if you don't think it's a good idea to tell her about me, then it's probably best we think of something else. C
Nina [Good Omens]: What's your idea? N
Crowley: If she hears it from someone like me, who's been in her shoes and figured out the truth about the world around us after leaving, that might get her to warm up to the idea. C
Nina [Good Omens]: You know her better than I do, do you think talking to you will help her? N
Crowley: As long as she's open to it. C
Nina [Good Omens]: Okay, then I'll tell her about you. N
Crowley: Let me know how it goes. C
Nina [Good Omens]: [...] She wants to talk to you. N
Crowley: Sure. What do you think, in person, or texting for now? C
Nina [Good Omens]: Probably texting, better not to overwhelm her. N
Crowley: Makes sense, yeah. C
Nina [Good Omens]: You ready? N
Crowley: Yeah, ready. C
Nina [Good Omens]: Good luck. N
Your partner has changed their name to Aziraphale
Aziraphale: [...] Antonia? A Is it really you? A
Crowley: Yeah, it's me. C How are you holding up? C
Aziraphale: I don't understand, how can it be you? A
Crowley: I mean, after I got excommunicated, I headed into the city. Figured things out, started building a life for myself. C Made some friends, who you're staying with now. C
Aziraphale: I never thought I'd get to speak with you again. A
Crowley: Thought you would've expected that outcome, given what happened. C
Aziraphale: What do you mean? A
Crowley: You're the only one I shared that secret with, and I always figured you wanted to keep yourself out of trouble. C
Aziraphale: [...] That's why you were expelled? A
Crowley: I mean, that's the only thing that's made sense. C After all, if we were meant to be married young and have lots of babies for our husbands, it wouldn't do to feel drawn to the fairer sex, right? C
Aziraphale: Oh Antonia, oh I'm so so sorry. I didn't mean to. A It was my father, he was upset about me being late again after seeing you and he tried to tell me I couldn't see you anymore, and then he started accusing you of seducing me and filling my head with sinful thoughts and I told him he was wrong, I promise I tried to convince him, but he wouldn't believe me. A I thought he was just angry, I had no idea he would.. A
Crowley: Wait- you didn't tell him? C
Aziraphale: No! No, of course not! I would never. A
Crowley: [...] Right. Enough about me. C I read a bit about what happened, at least since Nina told me. C Are you alright? C
Aziraphale: You thought I told him? A
Crowley: It all happened so quickly. C
Aziraphale: I would never do that to you. A
Crowley: And you really tried to protect me? C
Aziraphale: Of course. A I'm sorry I didn't do enough. A
Crowley: No, that's nonsense. C I'm sorry I doubted you. C
Aziraphale: I never wanted to hurt you. A
Crowley: And you didn't. C Who knows, they probably thought you were naïve enough to not realise. Probably picked up on my whole thing some other way. C But seriously, I know you're in excellent hands right now, but is there anything I can do to help you? C
Aziraphale: Nina's a good friend of yours? A
Crowley: Yeah, she and I met as I was getting on my feet. C
Aziraphale: [...] Did she tell you about my... condition? A
Crowley: She mentioned something about it, yeah. C
Aziraphale: I see. A
Crowley: How are you feeling about it? C
Aziraphale: It's complicated. A
Crowley: I can imagine so. C Do you wanna talk about it? C
Aziraphale: [...] I don't want to see a doctor. A
Crowley: Do you mind if I ask why not? C
Aziraphale: [...] I don't want them to touch me. A
Crowley: Are you afraid of what could happen if you see one? C
Aziraphale: I'm afraid of all of it. A
Crowley: I was, too. It can feel incredibly vulnerable, especially with them being strangers. Let alone the stories they used to tell us. C But I've been to the doctor's several times since I got out, and I promise it's not so bad. C
Aziraphale: I don't want them to touch me, Antonia. A
Crowley: I get that, believe me. C Look, I have an appointment coming up, and I'd be happy to bring you along if it shows you what you could expect. C That way they're not touching you at all. C
Aziraphale: But won't they have to touch me to check on the baby? A
Crowley: If we get an appointment for you, yeah, that'd probably be a good idea. C But if it helps to show you how it usually goes first, then I'd be more than willing to take you along on mine. C
Aziraphale: I can't. A
Crowley: You can't come with me on mine? Or are you still apprehensive about seeing a doctor for yourself? C
Aziraphale: Both. A
Crowley: Okay, if you come with me, they're just checking up on me. You can just sit in one of the chairs in the room and observe, and the doctor won't touch you at all. C What they'll usually do is take a look in my mouth, my ears, they'll listen to my heartbeat and breathing, and sometimes they'll check other things too. C The most invasive thing is usually a cervical exam, which I'm pretty sure nobody likes. But it helps with preventing things like cancer. C And the important thing is that while a doctor will advise you on any tests or exams they feel they should do with you, you can always say no. C
Aziraphale: [...] I can say no? A
Crowley: Of course you can. C They have to have your consent to do anything with your body. C
Aziraphale: They won't hold me down? A
Crowley: Not at all. If you become violent and become a risk to yourself or others, that might be the only exception. C But any provider will respect your boundaries. C
Aziraphale: [...] But they'll need to... feel inside me. A
Crowley: You mean for the baby? C
Aziraphale: Yes. A That's what they've done before. A
Crowley: You can still say no to that. C And there are other things they can do to check on the baby, too. C
Aziraphale: What things? A
Crowley: Have you heard of an ultrasound? C
Aziraphale: No? A
Crowley: Okay, so it's this machine that they can use to see inside you without having to be inside you. C It uses sound waves to visualise different organs, and they use it a lot for expecting mothers to make sure their babies are healthy. C And it's just a wand sort-of thing they'll put to your belly, and there's some jelly there too that helps with the process, but it's just to your skin. C
Aziraphale: They can see inside me? A
Crowley: Yeah, it's pretty cool, actually. C
Aziraphale: That's amazing. A
Crowley: What do you think? Do you feel better about the idea? C
Aziraphale: [...] If there's something wrong with the baby, will they be able to fix it? A
Crowley: It depends on what could be wrong, but they'll do whatever they can to help. C But we won't know until you're seen by someone. C
Aziraphale: [...] Will you come with me? A
Crowley: If you want me to, then I'll be there. C
Aziraphale: [...] I'll go. A
Crowley: Good, then either Maggie or Nina can help you make an appointment, since you're staying with them. C I'm really glad you're out, for the record. And I'm looking forward to seeing you again. C
Aziraphale: Have you been alright? A
Crowley: I have good days and bad, but things have been getting better with time. C I've always thought about you, though. Hoped that you were getting on alright, given everything. C
Aziraphale: It was horrible. A
Crowley: It's all behind you now, at least. C Might just take time before it really feels like it, but things will get so much better. I promise. C
Aziraphale: Do you really think so? A
Crowley: I know so. C Plus you have a good start already. You have one friend already here, and you've made a couple more. C
Aziraphale: They've been very kind to me. A
Crowley: I imagine they have. C
Aziraphale: [...] I thought about you all the time. Every day. A
Crowley: Same here. C I know there's still a lot to take in, but if there's anything you wanna know about, you can ask any of us. C
Aziraphale: [...] You can ask too, you know. A
Crowley: Well, if you insist. C I figure I'll find out soon enough, but how far along are you? C
Aziraphale: Fourteen weeks. A
Crowley: Alright, then there's still time to get things figured out. C And I take it you got married somewhere along the way? C
Aziraphale: Yes. A
Crowley: Where is he now? C
Aziraphale: He was arrested. A
Crowley: Ah. If you want to ensure you're legally separated and all, just let me know. C
Aziraphale: I'm not sure our marriage was entirely legal to begin with. A But he is still my husband in the eyes of God. A
Crowley: Fair point. C But also, if Metatron was lying about so much, do you think any of those marriages are binding in that sense either? C
Aziraphale: I don't know. A But I've lived with him and we've been... intimate. For seven years. Surely that means something in the eyes of the Lord. A
Crowley: Just something to think about. C There are people of all different faiths who get divorced, so I think the real question is if both people's hearts are still in it to make the relationship work. C
Aziraphale: My heart was never in it. A
Crowley: Then you have no obligation to stay married. It's your choice. C
Aziraphale: But what about my child? A
Crowley: You've gotta do what's best for both of you. C
Aziraphale: [...] I don't know what's best. A
Crowley: You have time to think about it. C But it sounds like your husband isn't in any position to support you in the meantime. C
Aziraphale: He was never much support. A
Crowley: One thing's for certain. You already have a good support system here, even if it's not the traditional sort of family. C
Aziraphale: I'm not sure I can raise a child on my own. A
Crowley: I know we've only just gotten reconnected here, but I will be there however you want me to be. C You don't have to be all on your own. C
Aziraphale: But you never wanted children. A
Crowley: That doesn't mean I'm gonna just leave you hanging when you need support. C Besides, I'll be way more biased if they're yours. C
Aziraphale: [...] I missed you so terribly. A
Crowley: I've missed you, too, angel. C
Crowley: Seriously, is there anything else I can do in the time being? C I figure Nina and Maggie have been looking after you, but if there's anything else I can do, please let me know. C
Your chat partner appears to be inactive. You can wait or end the chat.
You, Crowley, are connected to A roleplayer
Your partner doesn't mind all ages or 18+ roleplay
Your common tags are ineffable husbands
Crowley: [vampire!Crowley, any!Aziraphale, can be Ineffable Husbands or Wives, est/unest, just let me know what you prefer! Aziraphale doesn't know about Crowley's condition just yet] [3:00am] Are you awake, angel? C
Your starter has been read
A roleplayer: [Human! Aziraphale, husbands, and hm let’s go est!] Yes, I’m still awake, dear. Is everything alright? A
Crowley: Everything's fine. Just stuff on my mind. C Hopefully I didn't wake you. C
A roleplayer: What sort of stuff? A You didn’t! I’m up reading a book. I couldn’t get to sleep myself either. A
Crowley: Oh, you'd call me mad, I'm sure of it. C What are you reading? C
A roleplayer: I highly doubt that, dear. Tell me? A It’s a lovely romance book I was recommended by Nina. A
Crowley: Soon, angel. C What sort of romance is it? C
A roleplayer: Alright.. A It’s about faeries and supernatural beings, it’s very interesting. The main couple had a lot of strange tension in the first story, they only get together at the end of the second book! A
Crowley: Hm, never expected you to read those sorts of stories. C How are you liking it so far? C
A roleplayer: Why not? I’ll read most genres. A I’m really liking it. I find the character that the main character is falling in love with very interesting. A
Crowley: Well, you've consistently seemed drawn to the classics. Then again, you have a point. C What's so interesting about the love interest, then? C
A roleplayer: That is true. The classics do tend to draw me in more. But this has.. I don’t know. A certain charm that’s really got me hooked. A He’s this tall, dark, broody sort of character. He’s dangerous, and everyone knows that. Including the protagonist. And yet.. he’s very gentle with her. Very kind, even if he’s sarcastic. He obviously cares more than he likes to let on. He has a very interesting backstory too. He’d kill for any one in his close circle. A
Crowley: Hm, is it conceited to say I can see why he's piqued your interest? C
A roleplayer: Haha, no it’s not. I’ve sort of been picturing him as you. A
Crowley: So.. if there were an element of danger about me, that wouldn't put you off? C
A roleplayer: I don’t think anything could put me off from you. A
Crowley: Not even if supernatural beings were actually a thing? C
A roleplayer: […] No, I don’t think so. A
Crowley: And if I were one, that wouldn't scare you? C
A roleplayer: I suppose that could depend on what you were, haha. Why are you asking? A
Crowley: Just curious. C What if I were something spooky? C
A roleplayer: You’re not very spooky to me. A I don’t think it’d change anything for me, to be quite honest. I’m already so in love with you, dear. A
Crowley: I love you too, y'know. C So, if I were something like a vampire? C
A roleplayer: I know. :) A Hm. Vampires are… interesting. A I’d have a hard time believing those things truly exist. But if you were, that’d be okay. A
Crowley: What is it about them for you? C
A roleplayer: There’s something very.. I don’t know. A The idea of vampires have always drawn me in, I suppose. A
Crowley: Well, I guess with various portrayals in media, they've been glamourised. C So it makes sense. C
A roleplayer: Well yes, they have been glamorized quite a bit. A What with stories like ‘Twilight’, ha. A But I fear I may just be more attracted to the ‘darker’ things. Vampires do seem quite spooky. And yet.. The things the vampires must have seen, living for so long, what travelling or learning they’ve done. Are they sincerely only interested in blood? Or do they have other passions? A Not to mention all the main stereotypes like garlic and stakes and coffins. A
Crowley: [...] I'm sure there are some tall tales here and there. And realistically, anyone who's only interested in blood after centuries and centuries would be terribly boring. C
A roleplayer: I’m sure there are. And that would be very true. A I do think that most myths must have had some basis for them, at least the very, very old ones. I wouldn’t say it’s impossible for things like vampires to exist. But not very probable. A
Crowley: [...] What if I told you it's incredibly probable? C
A roleplayer: I would like some proof then, ha. A
Crowley: I can do that. Would you be up for me coming over? C
A roleplayer: [..] Sure. Always. :) A
Crowley: I'll be there in just a bit then. C
A roleplayer: Sounds good. I’m in my room, reading still. But I’ll go unlock the door. A
Crowley: As long as I'm welcome, I'll let myself in. C
A roleplayer: Of course you are. A
Crowley: Then I'll see you soon, angel. C
A roleplayer: See you soon, my love. A
Crowley: It wasn't long after that Crowley pulled up to the pavement at Aziraphale's place and climbed out of the jet-black Bentley. In all his time, he'd seldom let himself get close to anyone. Knowing it was safer for everyone involved if he kept to himself, took care of his needs without drawing attention, and moving on. Keeping himself untethered as time went on and faces came and went. However, all that changed when he'd first crossed paths with Aziraphale. And with how things had blossomed between them, he deserved to know the truth. Especially with the reality of how time moved with him. Crowley drew in a breath as he let himself in, certain if he still had a beating heart, that it would be hammering away within his chest as he made his way inside. He soon arrived at Aziraphale's bedroom door, and gave a couple gentle knocks on the door before slowly pushing it open. "Hey there, angel," he greeted with a small smile on his lips, finding even the sight of the man all cozy in bed was enough to soften the nerves he felt, the anticipation of what the other would do with the proof he had to offer.
A roleplayer: To say Aziraphale was intrigued by whatever Crowley had to say or show him as proof of vampires existing, supposedly that he was one as he had asked, well that was saying the least. He thought it may have just been some joke, but Crowley asking to come over.. Well that had pulled his attention away from the book he was reading. He could barely focus enough to finish up the chapter he was on, to have a good stopping point for the night. He’d loved Crowley practically since the moment they met. He was very dark and possibly scary looking to others, but so very kind and loving with him. He only got to love him more and more as he got to know him. He couldn’t help but think that even if Crowley was a vampire, well.. it wouldn’t change much, would it? They would still be exactly as they are, right? He sat up a bit more once he heard Crowley’s voice, smiling warmly at him. His face was flushed and he patted the spot next to him on the bed immediately. “Hello, dear,” he murmured, cocking his head to the side.
Crowley: Crowley smiled a bit wider as he saw the blush in Aziraphale's cheeks, how eagerly he invited him in. He took that invitation, the warmth in the other man's expression enough to put his worries at ease, and he sauntered over to the side of the bed and laid down next to his love. He had to wonder if Aziraphale ever had his suspicions after all this time, though the other didn't seem to mind in the slightest, and once he was closer, no major upticks in his heart rate that he could detect. "So," he began as he lay on his side facing the other man. "You mentioned you wanted proof. What would you like to see first?" he asked curiously as he offered the other a playful grin. He had been one to play harmless pranks every once in again, so there was every chance Aziraphale suspected him of those antics. Even though much of what he had to offer would be concrete.
A roleplayer: Aziraphale grinned fondly at him as Crowley climbed into the bed with him, facing him. He looked him over, curious, searching. For what though, he couldn’t be quite sure. He didn’t know what of vampire lore would be real or not. Sure, Crowley was very pale, and cold. But then again, lots of people, especially if skinny like Crowley were pretty cold most of the time. So that could be written off pretty easily. He gave a soft hum in consideration at his question. The playful grin on Crowley’s face did nothing to help his suspicions that this was all some sort of prank. But he’d treat it as serious for now. Why not indulge him? It was fun, if nothing else, he supposed. He turned more towards him, biting the inside of his cheek. “Hm.. do you have fangs?” He asked with a small laugh.
Crowley: "Going right for the money!" Crowley teased with a grin as let out a chuckle. Figures, Aziraphale would go for the thing that would be unmistakable. After all, so many imitations of fangs were easily spotted as fake, so it made sense that the other wanted to make absolutely certain that this wasn't some elaborate joke. He carefully retracted his fangs, his clearly pointed as he still smiled back at Aziraphale. You can touch them if you'd like, but just be careful," he gently warned. "They're sharp, and I do have venom. Not a deadly kind, per se, but it does have an affect on people..."
A roleplayer: Aziraphale laughed softly, giving a small shrug at that. Of course it would be the first thing, probably the most concrete evidence he could see. So he watched Crowley’s smile and his eyes widened as he watched his fangs retract, his breath hitching in his throat. That had to be real. There was no way that was- He caught his breath again and reached over to touch them, very carefully grazing the pad of his finger over the sharp end of them. He pulled back, giving him a curious look. “An effect on people?” He repeated softly, then reaching to feel his neck, feeling for a pulse but felt none. “What effect does it have then, if not deadly?”
Crowley: "Wouldn't do us any good to just kill people, would it?" Crowley reasoned, careful to keep his head still while Aziraphale examined his fangs. "And it depends a bit from person to person. For some, it can act like an aphrodisiac, but for most people, it relaxes them, makes them feel mildly sedated. High, drunk, somewhere in there. But all in all, it's not unpleasant. Just don't want you pricking your finger and then having to explain all that," he explained as he leaned a bit into Aziraphale's touch, even if he was clearly looking for his non-existent pulse.
A roleplayer: Aziraphale hums softly, “So.. you don’t- kill people?” He asked curiously, swallowing. He nodded as Crowley explained the effect vampires venom has on people, even though everything he said only had him wondering more and more about it. He was sure he’d have questions for days about this. But it didn’t seem that Crowley would mind answering them. He smiled, after not finding the non-existent pulse, he just trailed his hand up to cup his face, brushing his thumb over his cheek gently. “I wonder.. what it would be like for me,” he muttered quietly, leaning up onto his elbow. “I have seen you eat human food before though. Not much. But you have,” he commented.
Crowley: Crowley shook his head slightly. "The times when I did, I didn't want to for one, but also they were very different times in general," he offered as he looked up at him. "Nowadays, there's blood banks, which a lot of us have special connections with to take the more under-utilised blood types. And with the draw to vampirism in general, there are even special clubs some go to in order to feed. Willing donors will offer themselves, and vampires will take just what they need. A lot of times, the donors even have an agreement where if they donate so many times, they can get turned themselves. And some have trusted confidantes that are willing to give more privately." He couldn't help but admire that inquisitive glint in Aziraphale's gaze, which brought a smile to his lips. "Though some of us will also have food, to blend in if anything. Just won't sustain us like blood does."
A roleplayer: Aziraphale raked his fingers through Crowley’s hair slowly, listening to him, taking in every detail that he could. It didn’t sound too bad then. No wonder he didn’t know they really existed, there’s no reports ever of people found dead, drained of blood. Though maybe some just covered it up. He wasn’t sure. He smiled back at Crowley, happy to listen and still show him affection, in assurance that he was not scared off by this like he worried about. “Interesting.. I suppose those donors get quite hooked onto that effect, hm? Almost like being addicted to drugs,” he mused. “That does make sense. Which do you prefer to do? Donors or blood bags?” He asked then added, “Have you turned anyone before?”
Crowley: "Oh, there are standards to avoid anyone getting too carried away. Just like when you give blood at hospital, or some blood drive, you gotta wait a certain amount of time before going again. With private donation, it can be a little more flexible, but it's still important to listen to your body." Crowley laughed a bit at the consecutive questions asked, but he didn't expect anything less of Aziraphale. "Honestly, depends on my mood. And sometimes blood banks have shortages, so it's better to stay flexible. Though I've also never turned anyone. I'm familiar with the process and all, but I've kept myself distant from most people throughout my existence. At least until now."
A roleplayer: Aziraphale hummed, sitting up to grab his water, taking a sip as he thought over Crowley’s words, how the process all worked. He wondered how many humans knew about this, how many offered themselves up. What sort of relationships have vampires and humans had before? He didn’t want to leave Crowley at all, he loved him so dearly. But he would die eventually. “How old are you anyway?” He asked, setting down his cup and turned back towards him, pushing his blanket off. “Why until now? What’s.. so different with me?” He inquired, blushing lightly. “Would you? Turn.. someone? Have you considered it at all?” He was quite sure Crowley knew exactly what he was getting at. But no, he wouldn’t ask him to turn him. Not right now anyhow. He’d have to think about it. But he’d like to know if it’d be an option for him, for them.
Crowley: "Oh, of course you're gonna bring up age!" Crowley laughed. Though there was definitely an age gap. A considerable age gap, and as much as Aziraphale should know, he also wanted to have a bit of fun with that. "I'll tell you, but I wanna hear your guesses first. As for why now, I dunno. There's this whole bit of lore that something clicks when a vampire finds their mate, like soulmates and all. But honestly, you're so genuine, and charming, and kind, not to mention handsome... And thus I couldn't stop myself from falling for you. And maybe, when we reach the point of actively planning to spend the rest of our lives together, like marriage and all, I'd be honoured if you'd consider it, but it's your choice whether you'd like to be turned or not."
A roleplayer: [Be right back!]
A roleplayer: Aziraphale laughed softly, shaking his head. “I don’t mind how old you are, even if you are ancient,” he teased gently, grinning. “I’m just curious. I want to know everything, Crowley. You mean a lot to me, much more than you know.” He brushed his fingers through his own hair, looking at him. “150?” He guessed, watching his face. He smiled fondly, “You think I’m your soulmate or mate or whatever?” He leaned in to kiss his forehead. “I’m considering it,” he nodded, “I will let you know. I feel like I should hear more about it all before making any hard decisions,” he explained. “But just know that I’m not scared or put off in any way. Okay?”
Crowley: Crowley couldn't help a small smile at the way he felt the warmth of Aziraphale's lips practically radiate through his body from his forehead. Not to mention the fact that Aziraphale not only wasn't perturbed by the whole idea of his nature, but to know he was thinking about the idea of being turned? He nearly pinched himself to be sure he wasn't dreaming. "Eh, bit older than that," he answered as he rested a hand on Aziraphale's waist as he met those gorgeous blue eyes before he pondered his actual age for a moment. "Calendars have changed so much over time... Oh, call it six-thousand, give or take..."
A roleplayer: Aziraphale couldn’t be sure if Crowley thought him insane or not, for truly not minding his nature, or for already considering being turned to stay with him forever. But if he was insane for that, then so be it. He’d never loved anyone as much as he loved Crowley. And it sounded as though Crowley felt the same way for him. In that case.. he felt as though he couldn’t leave him, even in death. But of course he wouldn’t rush into that. He melted into his touch happily, even though his eyes went wide when Crowley had to guess his age. Six thousand. He let out a small, surprised laugh. “Six thousand??” He repeated, shaking his head. “My goodness,” he mused. “I really am quite lucky, hm? Six thousand years and you’ve never let anyone close until me..”
Crowley: Crowley blinked at that response. There was clearly a small amount of shock, but almost immediately, Aziraphale's response was to think of how by some luck, they still managed to find each other, and the vampire could just about melt at that. "C'mon, I'm the lucky one for finding you," he reasoned with a small smile as he shifted closer to Aziraphale, gently pulling him closer as he playfully bumped noses with him. It really wasn't until he'd met Aziraphale that he realised just how lonely his whole existence had been, and regardless of what the other's decision might be one day, he wanted to spend as much of it as he could with him.
A roleplayer: Aziraphale blushed softly, laughing as Crowley pulled him closer and bumped noses with him. “No no, I’m the lucky one,” he argued even still, letting out a content sigh. He was, or at least he believed he was. “All of that is- frankly irrelevant in regards to how I feel about you. I love you.. And I’m so grateful we found each other. I don’t know what I’d do without you, truly,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to the tip of Crowley’s nose, reaching up to cup his face once again. “Hm- another question, which you may grow quite tired of. How often do you need to feed?”
Crowley: "Love you too, angel. More than anything," Crowley replied, a warm shiver running through him at the peck Aziraphale gave the tip of his nose. "Though I could never tire of your questions, honestly. I can get by on a small feeding maybe once a week or so. If I need something more, that's when I might go for a blood bag, or some donor, and that can get me by for a little longer in between."
A roleplayer: Aziraphale grinned, brushing his thumb over Crowley’s cheek affectionately. “Well.. good, because I have many, many questions. I won’t ask them all now, but,” he shrugged, trailing off. “How long has it been now since you last fed?” He moved in closer, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. He was never quite good at hiding his thoughts or feelings, he knew Crowley could always see right through him. He wanted to know what it felt like, plus it’d be a win-win.
Crowley: Crowley couldn't help a soft chuckle, as he could take a guess as to what was on Aziraphale's mind by his latest question and body language. "It's been a bit," he admitted with a small shrug. "Could probably have a little something, but only if you want to. Won't need to take much, if that's the case..."
A roleplayer: Aziraphale blushed deeply at the chuckle, ducking his head, well aware that Crowley knew what he meant. He nodded, “I do.. I want to,” he murmured, meeting his gaze again. He wondered if Crowley was only saying that to indulge him since he was curious, or if he really did need some. Either way, he was eager to let him feed from him.
Crowley: Crowley smiled softly in return. "Then just relax and enjoy yourself, angel," he purred, soon leaning in to close the gap between them and kissing him tenderly. After a moment, he let his lips trail along Aziraphale's jaw, taking his time as he slowly kissed his way down to his neck.
A roleplayer: Aziraphale smiled and gave a nod, kissing him back softly. He hummed into the kiss then tilted his head to the side instinctively as he felt Crowley’s lips trail down, breathing deeply in anticipation, enjoying the soft kisses for now though, shuddering at the feeling.
Crowley: Crowley went until he could feel the steady, just slightly-heightened thrum of Aziraphale's carotid. He then placed one more soft, loving kiss over the spot he'd chosen before he sank his fangs into his skin, quickly enough that the other would barely feel a pinch. He sighed as he tasted Aziraphale's blood across his palate. Smooth, decadent. Lovely, much like the man in his arms.
A roleplayer: Aziraphale gasped softly at the slight pinch, expecting much more pain than that, at least at the first time of feeling his fangs sink in. His eyes squeezed shut for a moment before he relaxed again, his head dropping to the side, letting out a soft sigh in almost bliss.
Crowley: Crowley could see himself getting absolutely carried away if he wasn't careful. Aziraphale was the best thing he'd ever tasted- well, person. He pulled back after a brief moment, keeping to his word as he carefully coaxed the two punctures closed with a swipe of his tongue. "How was that for you?" he asked softly as he met the other man's gaze, taking in his blissful expression.
A roleplayer: Aziraphale knew immediately that he would offer himself as a donor to Crowley again, probably whenever he’d needed. It felt.. wonderful, he had no words for it. He blushed deeply, smiling shyly and nodded, “Good.. very- feels like I’m a little lightheaded but in a good way,” he laughed quietly, leaning in to kiss his lips.
Crowley: Crowley smiled fondly against his lips, holding him close as he kissed his love back. "Yeah, that sounds about right," he mentioned between kisses as he leaned in to meet Aziraphale's lips once more. "Thank you," he whispered once they parted, giving him a grateful smile.
A roleplayer: Aziraphale laughed softly, kissing the tip of his nose again, shaking his head. “Thank you for indulging me,” he whispered back, snuggling into him. “Anytime,” he added on with a grin. “I can see why those donors do that all the time.. It really does feel nice.”
Crowley: "I'm glad to hear it," Crowley replied as he kept Aziraphale close, enjoying the warmth of having him near. "Though I'm definitely the one who's been indulged," he added with a hum. "And I greatly appreciate it, my lovely, wonderful angel." He kissed his temple softly as he stroked his back gently, ultimately relieved at how Aziraphale not only accepted him, but fully embraced who and what he was.
Your common tags are ineffable wives and ineffable husbands
Crowley: [Ineffable wives. Eldritch horror. CW: domestic abuse. Another Omegle-inspired prompt based on a concept I adore: Crowley has been dating a woman named Luci for a number of years. Things started out alright, but gradually got worse and worse over the years. Luci has been manipulative, possessive, and critical of her. But oddly enough, suddenly and entirely out of the blue, she's completely changed. Considerate, sweet and caring. Almost like she's someone else. Someone who is madly in love with her. Crowley knows something is off, but hasn't been able to figure out just what it is yet] Are you sure you've been feeling alright? C
Your starter has been read
A roleplayer: Of course, dear, I feel wonderful. Are you feeling ill? A
Crowley: No, I feel fine. You've just been different lately. C Not in a bad way, but just different. C
A roleplayer: Do you not like it? A
Crowley: You've been so lovely, how could I not like that? C Just... If something's put you in a better mood, I'm glad. C
A roleplayer: You put me in a wonderful mood. A
Crowley: That hasn't always been the case. C I've always tried, but is there something different this time? C
A roleplayer: No, no, of course not! A I'm very sorry if I've distressed you with the change. A I had a shift of heart, I believe it's called. A
Crowley: Alright. Then if there's anything I can do to keep you this happy, then I'll do it. C
A roleplayer: You don't need to do anything, how absurd! A I adore you as you are. A
Crowley: I'll bring you pastries, or wine, or flowers. C I like this new outlook. It's like a new you. C
A roleplayer: No, no, I'm the same as I ever was. Your partner. Don't be concerned. A
Crowley: Really? I feel like you're even better. C Though if you start feeling stressed out, you don't have to hold it in. I wanna help if that happens again. C
A roleplayer: I won't ever treat you like that. A
Crowley: Well, there are different ways we can address it. C Talking about it is a good one, or we could find some sort of outlet for that stress to go instead. C But I really do appreciate that. C
A roleplayer: You never deserved any of that. I'll make sure it never happens again. A You deserve to be treasured. A
Crowley: So do you, darling. C Is there anything I can bring home for you? C
A roleplayer: [....] A pastry from the shop on the corner would be lovely. A And we could open that wine you like. A
Crowley: You got it. Any specific requests? C Oh, you're wonderful. C
A roleplayer: They should have two religieuses left. A
Crowley: Did you call them? C
Crowley: How did you know? C
A roleplayer: [...] I don't. Why would I know something like that? A
A roleplayer: Just a guess. A
Crowley: Well, lucky guess! Just got both of them, and I'll be headed back in a moment. C
A roleplayer: Lovely. A
Crowley: See you soon, angel. C
A roleplayer: And you, my dear. A
Crowley: (Paragraphs okay?)
A roleplayer: (sure!)
Crowley: All of this seemed far too good to be true. Luci suddenly treating with not just respect, but adoration? It felt like a dream, almost as if Luci were someone else entirely, and Crowley hoped that might be the case. Was that a bad thing, to wish your longtime girlfriend who always belittled her and took out her stress on her be switched with someone different? Perhaps it was, but in any case, she wanted to do anything she could to keep her girlfriend in a positive mood. Crowley had not only gotten her the pastries she'd asked for, but figured flowers may not be a bad idea either. She meticulously picked out the best bouquet and headed back to their flat, drawing in a deep breath as she let herself in. "I'm home!" She called out, heart in her throat as she hoped that her partner was still in that chipper, bright mood as she was before.
A roleplayer: Aziraphale was still getting used to moving in this body. She'd nearly knocked the wineglasses onto the floor before pouring out the alcohol for them both, and that slip-up with the pastries.... she really needed to be more careful, if she didn't want Crowley to catch on. But that Luci woman had just been so awful to her, Aziraphale couldn't stand it. She had never felt this way about a human, about anyone or anything. But Crowley was lovely, so beautiful, so kind, so smart, so funny. She could sense Crowley's presence several blocks away, felt her drifting in and out of the pastry shop, long before she heard the lock turn. She straightened herself up, tidying the shoulders of her dress, a delicate, soft piece with lacey edges. She'd had to go through and replace nearly all of Luci's wardrobe—most of it was just awful. "I'm in the study, dear!" she called out, in Luci's voice. "I poured us some wine."
Crowley: Crowley carefully placed the pastry box in the fridge before following the sound of Luci's voice, soon finding her in the study as she'd mentioned. "You're such an angel, thank you," she told the other sincerely. If anything, it seemed to be the best way to describe how her girlfriend had changed, almost as if there were a soft, warm glow coming off of her that drew her in closer. She smiled softly at her as she handed her the bouquet. "That dress is new. Absolutely love it on you," she mentioned as she took in the lace details. Definitely not something Luci would go for, but it certainly suited her now.
A roleplayer: "No, no, not an angel, just me," Aziraphale said, rather hastily, before motioning towards the wine glasses with one hand, slightly awkwardly. She took the bouquet, and waited a beat too long before she remembered what humans usually did. She inhaled in the direction of the flowers, even though it just smelled like pollen molecules. "Oh, my dear, these are beautiful." She smiled at Crowley, and stood to put them in a vase. The flowers were beautiful, multicoloured and very fresh. They had been plucked only half a township away, Aziraphale could tell. "Oh, thank you. I thought her—ah, my wardrobe was a bit drab." She set the vase with the flowers on the countertop and settled in on the loveseat beside Crowley.
Crowley: "Well, maybe you're my angel," Crowley replied with an adoring smile, watching as the other hesitated with the flowers in hand before she went to take care of them. Something was definitely different, but should she really complain if things were going so well for once? Perhaps she really was someone different, though there were only so many reasons she could think of for that happening. And if she ever did touch on the subject, she'd have to be delicate about it, and why ruin a lovely evening? She took a seat on the loveseat, smiling up at the other as she returned and sat down beside her. She picked up the glass closest to her and raised it toward the other. "To new attitudes, and a fresh outlook?"
A roleplayer: Aziraphale felt dizzied, having Crowley look at her like that, with sweetness and adoration in her eyes. She had been waiting, begging for this moment for so long. She raised her own glass, staring almost helplessly at the woman before her. "To new life," she said softly, not bothering to imitate Luci's falsely sweet tone this time. She touched their glasses together, then took a sip of the wine. She knew she could take better care of Crowley than Luci did, she knew she would not let herself destroy this, the best thing that had ever happened to her.
Crowley: Crowley took a long sip once they'd clinked their glasses together. That's when an idea popped into her head. It could be a terrible one, but maybe there was a way she could get the other to drop her guard a bit and at least give her an understanding of what was going on. That simply required that the wine keep flowing, and she was sure she could get that to happen. "So, how was your day?" She asked curiously before she took another sip and leaned back against the cushions.
A roleplayer: Aziraphale let out an internal sigh of relief. Crowley didn't seem to suspect anything, thankfully. Maybe she could keep this up. "Oh, fine. Very normal." Lie. She had been to Luci's job, which was something very odd, something to do with computers. Aziraphale didn't really know what she was doing, but she'd found that if she muttered at the computer enough it generally did what she needed. Her supervisor had seemed surprised that she finished all her tasks early. "How was yours?" she asked, hoping to redirect attention from herself.
Crowley: "It was fairly busy, but good," Crowley mentioned as she smiled at the other, turning to face her. She figured maybe she didn't want to talk about work so much if it brought more stress into her life, so maybe it was best to avoid that.. "Have you thought about what you might want for dinner? I can order something for delivery," she mentioned as she swirled the wine in her glass. "After all, you've been spoiling me lately, and I wanna return the favour," she added with a grin as she pulled out her mobile to scroll through some options.
A roleplayer: Aziraphale waved her hand. "Whatever you like, dear." She had been trying as much human food as she could, and found that she liked some of it very much. "I know you enjoy that place with the red food. The ah, Thai?" Hopefully that didn't sound too odd. Aziraphale had been listening to humans speak for a long time, but she sometimes found herself struggling for the right words, or getting small things wrong.
Crowley: Crowley couldn't help a chuckle before leaning in to give her girlfriend's cheek a soft peck. "Sure, that's one way to describe it. Is there anything you want? Or just your usual?" She asked as he pulled up their usual Thai place on the app. She had to admit, whatever might've changed, the blonde was infinitely more adorable with the way she tried to find the right words for things. She just hoped it didn't point to anything being majorly wrong.
A roleplayer: Well, it couldn't' have been too wrong, if Crowley was leaning in to kiss her. Aziraphale felt her cheeks go warm. What an odd feeling! She smiled at Crowley. "Yes, yes, my usual is fine," she replied. She didn't need to change her food order on top of everything else. Who knows what might drive Crowley into truly suspicious territory? Best to keep things as they were, without all the nasty bits.
Crowley: Oh, she could get used to seeing that rosy blush rise to her cheeks, and Crowley stole one more quick glance as she placed their food order and soon turned her full attention back to her girlfriend. "You know, you've been showering me with compliments, but you certainly deserve them as well, you know. So lovely, and sweet, and beautiful..."
(The other user in this chat went unresponsive, so if you're out there, hit me up!)
You, Crowley, are connected to Probably Ed or Crowley
Your partner selected the Roleplay server. Please keep the chat clean.
Your partner has a starter. Type /starter or tap here to see it.
Your common tags are ineffable husbands
Crowley: /starter
Probably Ed or Crowley: ((Ineffable Husbands -- Most certainly Canon Divergence whenever s3 hits; 2 days to Christmas and Aziraphale has been gone since that day in the bookshop; narrative direction is Crowley as the Vessel for the second coming of Christ as a miraculous birth)) For once, snow was falling on London. A white Christmas. Just hideous. Crowley was furious at the whole world. He didn’t do anything. He walked around heavy, sometimes drunk and sometimes painfully sober. Shax’s new status meant that Crowley regained his flat, but he tended to haunt it now rather than live in it. His plants had grown too comfortable and their leaves turned brown and fell to the floor. The Bentley still got driven, but even she had become tired - the radio silent, the gears stiff. Crowley himself had managed to keep it together on the physical surface of his form, but look beyond the clothing and the coiffed hair and he was falling apart in much the same way. Nina called it depression, something Crowley had ignored. He didn’t go to Whickber Street much, but sometimes it was like he was being pulled in by his own temptations. He went to the coffee shop and felt a brief moment of happiness at how Nina and Maggie were now tentatively seeing one another, then angry at humanity for trying to spark joy in him. He doused it with bitter espresso and Nina chose to ignore how the blue sky outside her shop turned a dark grey and rumbled with thunder. On this particular day -- just two days from Christmas now, Crowley was in the park. He was sat on his usual bench under a miserable black sky, watching the ducks eat bread some tyrannical toddler was throwing into the pond. He’d have put a stop to that right away if he’d had the energy, but now he just watched the ducks clear every part of the loaf. There was a brief moment when he thought about tripping up the child’s mother, glued to the screen of her phone, so she fell into the pond but then the little brat started screaming that he was bored and the two sped along and left the ducks with the consequences. Snow was starting to gently fall and Crowley only found it more miserable. He glared at the ducks.
Crowley: As much as Aziraphale tried to push back on the next Great Plan, he couldn't find any way out of it. Though before he knew it- before he could prevent Crowley getting caught up in everything, it was too late. And now he had a job to do, just as Gabriel had before him. It'd been his first time back on earth since he'd left the shop, and he soon found himself bundled up and heading toward the bench he and Crowley usually shared. He could see the red headed demon there, and he drew in a deep breath as he drew closer. "Hello, Crowley," he greeted softly, knowing he'd have to tread lightly.
Probably Ed or Crowley: Crowley had been planning to get up and leave the park. There was a pub nearby he tended to haunt. Good spot for drinking -- no one paid him any attention, no one cared. The bartender happily plied him with drinks -- even let him have a whole bottle if he paid up in advance. Alcohol and sleep were the only ways to really numb the feelings that kept bubbling to the surface, and Crowley /hated/ the feelings. Aziraphale had abandoned him for some grand master plan up in Heaven... for some effort to be accepted and fit in or whatever tosh the angel had been thinking. He fucking /hated/ it. All of it. What was the point of any of it if Aziraphale wasn't here? But hearing the angel's voice so suddenly, feeling Aziraphale's presence when he hadn't been prepared... it was somehow even worse. Crowley scowled and immediately got to his feet. "Aziraphale." And then he turned to leave, trudging through the dusting of snow along the path that would lead back to the entrance. Back to the street. Toward the pub. Escape.
Crowley: Aziraphale shook his head and sighed to himself when Crowley started to storm off. "Please, you're going to want to hear this," the angel called after him as he followed, trying to keep up with the demon's longer stride. "I mean, at least a heads up. A warning, news, whatever you'd might want to call it." It was unavoidable, after all, and Crowley needed to know. Or they at least had to figure out a way out of this, if they could even move past things and work together on this. "Things are afoot again, and I don't know how to stop it."
Probably Ed or Crowley: "Planning the end of the world again?" Crowley replied, his tone icy. He paused for just a moment to glance over his shoulder. Mistake. Mistake. /Mistake/. Aziraphale was wearing the awful, boring gray and white suit that pegged him as an Archangel of Heaven. Practically a uniform. It made something in his chest clench to see the angel in such sterile colors. Fuck. "I'm not saving you this time, Aziraphale." He took a breath (technically unnecessary, but it made him feel better) and kept storming toward the entrance to St. James's Park. He used the angel's name, refusing to call Aziraphale by the old, sweet pet name /Angel/. That was a relic of a warmer, kinder time. Aziraphale no longer deserved that name.
Crowley: Aziraphale knew there was no good way to have this conversation, but the cold response was heart-wrenching in its own way. The angel furrowed his brows as he tried to shove those feelings aside and focus on what mattered. After all, it seemed Heaven just wanted a puppet to oversee their plans, not any actual change. "I've been trying to do that for you, Crowley. You've already been written into this one, and I couldn't stop it."
Probably Ed or Crowley: /You've already been written into this one./ Crowley did not like the sound of that. The Archangels were fucking nefarious. Could give any of the Dukes of Hell a run for their money with all their machinations. He kept walking, hurrying his pace. Whatever Aziraphale was going to try to tell him probably merited a healthy dram of whiskey. "Write me /out/ of it," the demon hissed as they reached the entrance to the park. Snow fell at a gentle pace on the high street. It muffled sound in a way that Crowley found imminently appealing, but just now he didn't like the idea of not being able to hear footsteps. Whatever Aziraphale was trying to tell him might involve the sudden appearance of /other/ angels and Crowley really did not want to have to deal with that. He stormed across the street, beelining directly to the favored pub.
Crowley: "You think I haven't already tried to?" Aziraphale replied as he fought to keep pace. As Crowley's choice of escape got more evident, his heart sank even further. Why did it need to be this way? It was probably best he be transparent, and before the other reached the pub. "Please, this is the Second Coming we're talking about." At least he hoped getting more specific would at least get the demon to listen. "You've been chosen."
Probably Ed or Crowley: The Second Coming. Of /course/ this was about the Second Coming. Aziraphale had stepped into Gabriel's shoes. Crowley had witnessed the argument of the Archangels. He knew what they were trying to plan. He was vaguely aware of how eager Hell was for the challenge in it all. They /all/ wanted the big fight envisioned in the Second Coming, the Rapture, and the ensuing Apocalypse. "I've been chosen for /what/ exactly?" The demon turned to give Aziraphale as withering and irritated a look as he could muster. He didn't want to deal with any of this and he hated that Aziraphale was a willing agent of the End. Crowley shook his head and tugged the door open to the pub. He knew the angel would follow. Crowley gestured at the bartender as he crossed the dimly lit room. /Whiskey. A double/, the gesture said. He had been here often enough that his regular order was well known by the few employees that maintained the bar. He stalked to his familiar corner booth and sagged down into one of the seats.
Crowley: Aziraphale decided to follow him into the pub sliding into the seat across from the other, determining just how to phrase this to the other. Crowley seemed to respond best to just putting it bluntly, but this also required somewhat of a delicate touch. He drew in a deep breath, fidgeting with his hands as he looked at the demon across from him. "Well, they've decided to go with the same sort of entrance as last time, miraculous birth and all," he explained briefly, his heart pounding. "And you've.. been chosen as the Vessel."
Probably Ed or Crowley: Crowley did his very best to /not/ look at the angel when Aziraphale slid into the seat across from him. He looked at the table, the wall, the bar. Where exactly was that drink? But when the angel started to speak, it was hard to not bring his attention back to the angel's face. Crowley stared at him. "The Vessel," he echoed, face blank. He looked up, grateful as the bartender came over with his drink. Thank fuck. The bartender looked to Aziraphale, as if trying to gauge whether he needed a drink too. Crowley sighed and leaned forward a little, elbow sliding onto the table. "Get him the same." Then Crowley took a long gulp of whiskey. His eyes closed as he hissed. "Chosen by /whom/ exactly? And... look... fucking /unchoose/ me. It's stupid. Why would a demon be the 'Vessel'?"
Crowley: Aziraphale was secretly grateful that Crowley ordered something for him as well. It'd been so long since he'd had anything to drink, and after these long months, he could certainly use one. He gave the server a small smile before turning his attention back to the demon across from him. "I've been overruled at every turn. There's no way I can stop this, and certainly not at this point," he explained, exasperation behind his eyes. "Something about redemption, I suppose?" He answered. He'd like to think if Crowley had accepted his offer, that maybe he would've avoided all this, but there was no guarantee that was the case.
Probably Ed or Crowley: The demon hunched forward and laughed. "Redemption?" He felt like he was slowly losing his mind. After months and months of alternating between drunkenness and sleep, Aziraphale was /here/ in front of him and trying to tell him something utterly absurd. "I'm not a Vessel." Crowley reached for his drink and took an exaggerated swig to emphasize his point. "Just tell them 'no', because I'm not bringing about the end of the world in any way and I'm /definitely/ not going to do /that/..." It was hard to even say the words. Carry a Christ-kid. A pregnancy. An Immaculate Conception. Whatever the right words might be... they echoed like absurdities in his head. They made him feel just a little crazy.
Crowley: "Crowley, it's going to happen," Aziraphale mentioned, desperation beginning to break through in his tone. The server had very fortunate timing, and his drink was soon brought over, and the angel look a good long drink from the low-ball glass before putting it down. "In all seriousness, this is going to happen, and I can't find a way around it. I have been ever since I stepped into this role, but I don't truly have a voice, and I don't have any power over what's to come."
Probably Ed or Crowley: Crowley glared at the angel from across the slim, aged wooden table. "I am /not/ doing it," he hissed. The demon punctuated his insistent statement with a long swig of whiskey. Then he gestured at the bartender for another. This first glass was /not/ going to be enough. "So you've worked out that you're a fucking pawn. A fucking figurehead. Grand. Good for you, Angel." The demon suddenly quieted. He hated how he had immediately slid back into the comfortable nickname for Aziraphale. He wasn't going to do that again. "I hope it was all worth it." Crowley hesitated only a moment before knocking back the rest of his drink. "I'm not going to be pregnant. Not going to carry a ticking time bomb for humanity. That's insane. Completely insane."
Crowley: Aziraphale sighed. He knew Crowley didn't have a choice, but he hadn't really expected much different. He certainly deserved the harsh words. "Not a minute goes by that I don't regret the choice I made," he admitted softly. "I genuinely thought I could make things better. That I could make heaven worthy of you, regardless of whether you're there or not. But I know I still hurt you in the process and left all we had together behind, and that's what I regret most of all." He met Crowley's gaze, or at least tried to with his dark glasses covering them. "I've missed you terribly."
Probably Ed or Crowley: "Good," the demon replied, leaning forward as his eyebrow arched. "/Good/." He wanted the angel to regret the choice. He wanted Aziraphale to go back in time and take it back. He wanted the angel to /see/ the desperation he had felt. Crowley knocked back the remainder of his glass of whiskey and hissed, eyes closing for a moment. "Make Heaven worthy of me? Fuck that. Fuck all of it. That's crazy... Aziraphale, you shouldn't have gone in the first place! That's insane. Completely." And he looked away. Crowley just couldn't look at the angel. It made him feel jittery and a little insane. He watched as the bartender returned with another drink and handed off a tenner to the man in gratitude. "You miss me. Great. Grand. Good for you. Now go put the Christ kid in some idiot's belly. Have fun. Annunciation day. Go for it."
Crowley: Aziraphale shook his head. "I know, it was a ridiculous idea. But I remember the angel you were, and you never deserved what was dealt to you," he told the other fighting the tears that started to blur the corners of his vision, though he fought them back as best he could. "But they've got a close eye on me right now, and I really can't waiver, as much as I agree that this can't be going forward at all, not with anyone." He took another drink from his glass, finding some semblance of comfort in it, even if current company didn't want to offer any. Not that he was deserving anyway. He should have listened, after all, but they'd still have a similar issue to worry about. "I need some sort of work around..."
Probably Ed or Crowley: That stopped Crowley up short. No. He /hadn't/ deserved the unceremonious Fall. He had only asked questions! Questions! And down he had tumbled for it. And now God was just /fine/ with him as the Vessel? That seemed ludicrous. He snorted and took a sip from his fresh glass. "A work around. Right. What exactly is the plan, Aziraphale? When is the Annunciation supposed to happen? I mean, when is the..." Oh, fuck. What was even the right terminology for this? "When is /fertilization/ meant to happen? We can walk the high street and find five willing idiots."
Crowley: "Finding someone else willing is all well and good, but that's not in the plan," Aziraphale told him. "It's supposed to happen any day. The message will to come to you in a dream- or vision, if you happen to be awake- and then it will be done." If anything, things were in motion already, and it seemed unavoidable so far. "There are already failsafes in place to ensure the pregnancy goes forward safely, so it's not as if we can easily just abort. I'm not sure what else can be done at this point."
Probably Ed or Crowley: Crowley hunched forward, elbows resting on the table. His jaw dropped as Aziraphale ran through a quick explanation of the process. "So. You're saying that I could actively try to /abort/ the fetus and God would just... prevent it. That's... this is torture. Aziraphale. That's fucked up. I'm not doing it." There was apparently no choice in the matter, so it didn't really matter that he was objecting... but Crowley was going to protest as loudly as he could anyway. He was done being an instrument of Her will.
Crowley: "Unless you can think of a way to get around it, but I'm out of ideas," Aziraphale mentioned. "Though I agree. It's extraordinarily fucked up. Makes you even wonder if She has a hand in things anymore," he mentioned. He knew a comment like that could land him in a great deal of trouble, but he knew the most he could accomplish would be to give Crowley a warning of what's to come, even if there wasn't anything they could do to stop it.
Probably Ed or Crowley: The demon's eyes widened, though Aziraphale couldn't see them. The angel had /actually/ said 'fuck'. It was a rare thing -- not completely out of the realm of possibility and it had certainly happened before, but it was beautiful in its rarity. He loved to hear the angel curse. This moment was a bit clouded though by the whole... situation. His fingers tapped against the glass of whiskey. "You're here to tell me I'm going to be up the duff with God's spawn and there's nothing you can do about it. A grand Annunciation in the style of Gabriel. Now what?"
Crowley: "The only thing I can think of is to try to ward it off somehow, but I'm not even certain that it would buy us much time. Or even work for that matter," Aziraphale mentioned with a shake of his head. "I figure if anything, you might have an idea of what we could try? If there's anything powerful that could keep you out of Heaven's reach." It could all be in vain, but he supposed if there was even a grain of hope to be had, maybe it was worth a shot.
Probably Ed or Crowley: Aziraphale looked genuinely dejected -- like he was actually trying to suggest solutions and as if he actually hadn't been the one to suggest a demon as the Vessel. That didn't really improve matters, but Crowley appreciated the notion that it at least hadn't been /Aziraphale/ nominating him for the job. "I could go back to Hell..." Crowley hissed and took another gulp of whiskey. He could stay in Hell for the rest of time to keep God from doing this to him -- She wouldn't want Her child born in Hell, after all -- but Crowley also didn't want to be there. And he couldn't just make it a year-long sojourn. God was as immortal as he was. She could wait him out. "I could go to... the Wolfhead Nebula or... some place in space. an't exactly have a kid born in the vacuum of space."
Crowley: Aziraphale mulled over the options Crowley gave him as he sipped from his glass. Hell was an undesirable, but realistically sound option. Though it would only delay the inevitable, and that in and of itself could put an early start to the War if Heaven sent anyone to extract him when they grew impatient. And space had a similar issue, where someone might put a stop to his escape. "Let's keep thinking," he mentioned. "Your flat is technically Hell's, right? Could that potentially be fortified any further?"
Probably Ed or Crowley: As annoyed and angry and hurt as he was, Crowley kind of appreciated that the angel was brainstorming solutions. Aziraphale had a focused, thinking expression on his face and Crowley could tell that he was actually trying. It made him feel at least a little better. Not a /lot/ better, but a little. And it put a temporary hold on all the hurt feelings swelling up in his chest. "It's not an embassy like the bookshop. Doesn't work that way. I could fight off angels with Hellfire, but that's kind of it. But you said the Annunciation would be in a dream. Not... it's not going to be some arsehole like Gabriel."
Crowley: Aziraphale shook his head. "No. If anything, this is the closest you'd get to an Annunciation in the classic form. If anything, it's sort of a Pre-Annunciation, in a way," he mentioned, though he could still see the pain in Crowley's expression. "I am sorry about all of this. I wouldn't wish it on anyone," he added as he looked across at the demon. "But I'm here for you, no matter what happens. However you want me to be there."
Probably Ed or Crowley: At least it wasn't Gabriel. There was that. Then again, Gabriel was off in the stars somewhere with Beelzebub, so of course it wasn't Gabriel. But it /was/ Aziraphale... and that was worse somehow. He looked down at his drink. "Yeah, well. Fine. There isn't really much you can do, is there?" And fuck. Crowley wasn't sure he even wanted to be here in the pub anymore. They shouldn't be talking about this where humans might overhear. He downed the remainder of his glass and then snapped his fingers. They were both suddenly in his flat. The space was darkened, curtains blocking out all the sunlight. Crowley immediately headed to the kitchen to seek out a bottle of something. It wasn't hard to find his way through the darkness. These last six months, the demon had embraced darkness.
Crowley: "I'm afraid not," Aziraphale mentioned just as the other miracled them to his flat. The change in venue wasn't a bad idea in the slightest, though it was clear how much the last several months had affected Crowley, even at the core. His plants, while they grew, they weren't as lavish as the demon always kept them, and the amount of darkness that overtook the room from the blackout curtains was on a whole other level from what he'd seen before. "I suppose... Oh, that's probably not the best of ideas either..."
Probably Ed or Crowley: "Not a lot of good options," the demon muttered, grabbing the bottle and a pair of glasses. He navigated his way around the kitchen island in the darkness, beelining to his kitchen table. The demon settled in his favorite throne chair, hunching forward to pour overly generous glasses of scotch. "Sit and drink or get out." He pushed one of the glasses toward a chair opposite him before taking a sip from his own. The burn just wasn't quite enough. It scratched an itch, yes, but it didn't save him from the angel's return, nor did it save him from the apparent future that lay in wait.
Crowley: Aziraphale listened and stepped toward the seat that was offered to him, sitting down across from the demon before picking up the glass. "The only solid defence I can think of is this: You can't exactly get pregnant if you already are," Aziraphale told him. "It's the idea that many humans take advantage of for contraception, is that they use hormonal supplements to trick their bodies into thinking they're already with child. I just don't know how else you do that with beings like us..."
Probably Ed or Crowley: Crowley snorted. "Can't get pregnant if I'm already pregnant. That isn't helpful at all." He wasn't exactly trying to get pregnant in the first place and God was omnipotent. If She willed it, he would be carrying Her spawn. Wasn't that how it worked? "You playing matchmaker now, Aziraphale? Trying to get me set up with some human in defiance of God?" Or, worse, with a demon. He suspected there were plenty willing down there in Hell. Demons were all about the visceral sins. They liked pleasure and pain and all the rest.
Crowley: "Well," Aziraphale started his heart pounding as he considered the whole idea. "If you would prefer me to play matchmaker, I can." How on earth was he supposed to bring it up? How he'd never forgotten just how perfect Crowley's lips felt against his own. How he would give anything to have that again, to make up for the way he pushed him away afterward. "Or, we even could," Aziraphale mentioned, wondering what Crowley's thoughts might be, though he was fully prepared for that to be thrown back in his face.
Probably Ed or Crowley: The demon's head snapped up in the darkness of the room, trying to study the angel's face. "We could /what/, exactly?" Crowley was pretty sure he knew what Aziraphale was trying to say, but he wanted the angel to say it directly. He wanted the opportunity to shoot Aziraphale down /directly/ and make it hurt. For six months, Crowley had harbored pain, anger, and resentment. There had been no way to assuage those feelings. They just clung to him day in and day out. Alcohol helped. Sleep helped. Being awake and sober was just... hard. Now was his chance to shout and rail against Aziraphale's choices. "Say it."
Crowley: "Look, I know I'm the last person you'd ever want to turn to, but just hear me out," Aziraphale told him. "Heaven doesn't have anyone physically doing the Annunciation. That means when it's attempted, it won't happen. And more importantly, if someone comes to check on you, make sure it's been done, they'd sense the child is of heavenly origin, so it would look like it worked." For once, it seemed like it could be the right call, at least to put the biggest stall to the Second Coming that he could. "I know I hurt you before, and this is such a twisted situation, but I want more than anything to make up for the decisions I've made, Crowley. You.. You mean the world to me, and I love you. Hence I wanted to make Heaven be a better place, and why I wanted you there with me. It was selfish of me to try to make that decision for you, but I want to make this right, if you'd be willing."
Probably Ed or Crowley: The demon huffed. He stared. He scowled. A shocking array of emotions crossed his features as he tried to process Aziraphale's suggestion. Despite his insistence, the angel wasn't saying it outright. Aziraphale was talking /around/ it rather than propositioning him directly. Crowley decided that was exactly what this was. The angel was propositioning him. Aziraphale's little plan was to put Heavenly spawn in his belly before God could do it. Trick the circle of Archangels who might actually check with a fetus of divine enough energy to pass as the Christ kid. It would be clever if it didn't just /hurt/. Crowley knocked back the remainder of his glass of whiskey, then hunched forward to grab the bottle again. "Your plan is to knock me up before God can." It wasn't a question.
You both like ineffable husbands, and ineffable wives.
Stranger: ((Fem A / C. Sort of Human AU. Aziraphale accidentally finds out she's a witch, and whats worse, summons a snake lady that declares herself Aziraphale’s familiar. She wants no part of this, witchcraft is clearly demonic and scary. So she just has to get rid of Crowley, and forget this all happened. The problem is, she won't tell Aziraphale how to get rid of her.)) If you wake up, do not leave the shop. In fact, don't leave whatever room you're in. I'll be back later. A
You: Of course, angel. Anything you'd like me to do while you're out? C
Stranger: No, don't touch anything a
Stranger: *anything. A
You: Alright, just trying to be helpful. C
Just let me know if there's anything you need. C
You: What are you up to, anyway? C
Stranger: I'm trying to find a bookstore or library with anything about things like you. Specifically thr removal of. A
You: Aw. I can tell you there's not very many of those. C
Most witches find familiars rather helpful to have around, you know. C
Stranger: I'm not a witch. C
You: Then how would you explain all the odd happenings around you? C
Stranger: You're the only odd thing happening around me, thank you very much. C
Stranger: *A
You: I can sense the power that you're keeping pent up inside you. C
It gets easier when you learn to channel it. And that's what I'm here for. C
Stranger: I don't want to channel anything, I'm not a witch, I'm not interested in a familiar, and I need to get rid of you! C
Stranger: I don't see why you'd even want to stick around. A
You: You don't have to use the label, but like it or not, you have magic. C
And that can be a wonderful thing. You can use it to bring light to those around you. C
I know this is unfamiliar territory for you, but I'm here when you're ready to embrace that. C
Stranger: I don't want magic either! Not under any label. C
Stranger: What do I have to do, ignore you for a decade? A
You: Even if you do, I'll still be here. C
You: [...] I'll also admit I found something to tidy, so I did break that no-touching-anything rule. C
Stranger: What did you do. A
You: Just took care of the dishes in the sink. And I cleaned the rest of the kitchen while I was at it. C
Sorry, I just got so restless... C
Stranger: You don't have to do that. A
You: I wanted to. C
You: Any luck with your search? C
Stranger: Not yet. But I'll find something, I have to. A
Stranger: Do you need to eat? A
You: I should be alright for now. C
Stranger: But you do need food? A
You: I've been taking care of your rodent problem, actually. C
I doubt you'd want them causing damage to any of the books in your shop, after all. C
You: I do appreciate the offer, though. C
Stranger: I had rats?? A
You: A few. C
Stranger: Ugh. I guess I'm glad I got a snake I'd nothing else. A
You: Happy to help where I'm needed. C
Stranger: *if nothing
Stranger: Eating mice won't get you sick, will it? You're not entirely a snake, after all. A
You: I've never had an issue before, but your concern really is sweet. C
Stranger: I just don't know what I'd do with a sick snake. A
You: I mean, even if those rats were baited before with something poisonous, it might just give me a bit of indigestion. C
Not your average snake, after all. C
Stranger: Hm. I'll bring dinner home anyway, if you don't want yours, you can just put it in the fridge. A
You: What did you have in mind for dinner? C
Stranger: I'll probably just stop by the chip shop, I don't have the energy to stand in a restaurant. A
You: I might have a nibble then. C
Does that mean I should expect you home soon? C
Stranger: Not for another hour. A
You: Alright, good to know. C
Stranger: Maybe thirty minutes. I've been reading too much. A
You: Maybe you can tell me a bit about what you've learned? C
Stranger: Nothing. A
Stranger: Maybe you can tell me what you already know? A
You: Oh, you'd like to learn about your abilities? C
Stranger: I'd like to learn how to send you back. A
You: Nah. There's no guarantee I'd be tied to anyone half as interesting as you. C
Stranger: I'm not interesting. A
You: Of course you are. C
Stranger: I am truly not. A
You: I think you are. C
Stranger: Well, you can't be right all the time I see. A
You: I see a woman who holds a great deal of kindness toward others, who always tries to do so much good in the world. C
And yet when she's unlocked the ability to do even more, she's terrified of her gift. C
I'd like to know why. C
Stranger: I've not been kind to you. A
You: Because you're scared. C
You: I want to know what's been frightening you. C
Stranger: Not you, I'll have you know. A
You: So I'm not the one scaring you, that's good to know. C
Can you tell me what has been? C
Stranger: No. A
You: If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine. C
But if you ever do, I'll listen. C
Stranger: You won't be here for much longer, so there's not much point. A
You: If you're certain about that... C
Stranger: I am definitely certain. A
You: Do you know what will happen if you figure out how to dismiss me? C
Stranger: I'll have my peace back? A
You: Because sure, there might be a book out there that tells you how to do that. But it won't stop any other familiars from coming along. C
And dismissal isn't exactly a pleasant process for either of us. C
Stranger: Another one would show up?? A
You: In all likelihood, yeah. C
Stranger: That's not fair. A
You: Welcome to having abilities, angel. C
Stranger: Take them back. A
You: I didn't give them to you. C
Stranger: How do I stop another one from appearing? A
You: Again, why is this an issue for you? C
Stranger: I just don't need this added to my plate. A
You: From what I can tell, life likes to put things on people's plates that they didn't ask for all the time. C
And right now you have a couple of choices. One is to keep trying to ignore this new aspect of your life, and it can keep causing a hindrance to you. C
Or we can work on this together. See what it can do for you. C
Stranger: It's going to get my in trouble! A
You: What sort of trouble? C
Stranger: *me
Stranger: The annoying and difficult trouble. A
Stranger: Family trouble. A
You: What sort of trouble with your family? C
Stranger: My siblings mean well, they just want me to be on the right path. They can be a bit pushy, or pubchy, when they think I'm straying. A
You: [...] Did you have a religious upbringing by chance? C
Stranger: Yes. A
You: That makes /so/ much more sense now! C
How often do they check up on you? C
Stranger: It's random. Sometimes I won't see them for a year, and sometimes they show up twice in one week. A
You: Got it. C
I might have some sort of idea. Something that could help as a temporary measure. C
Stranger: What do you mean? A
You: Well, while I can't exactly take away your magic, I might be able to hold onto some of it. C
If your family ever visits, it could help make things look more normal. C
Stranger: You can? A
Stranger: Hm. But what do I tell them about you? They'll have questions. A
You: Maybe. I've never tried it before, but I've heard of it being done. C
But to them, I can be your new flatmate. Or just a friend who needs someplace to stay for a while. C
Whatever makes the most sense. C
Stranger: They'd lecture me about money I they think I need a flatmate, and they won't believe I have friends. A
You: Then maybe we met at a book club. I could be trying to get out of a bad situation with my ex. C
You seem like a kind enough person to let someone stay while they get back on their feet, right? C
Stranger: Right. Okay. I just don't want them to get the wrong idea. A
You: That makes sense. C
I'm willing to play into whatever story you think they'd be okay with. C
Stranger: I'm not sure which they'd have more of a problem with, magic or me having a woman as a live in partner. A
You: Having a flatmate of the same gender is completely normal. C
As long as there's very clearly two separate bedrooms, they won't suspect a thing. C
Stranger: They would suspect. Sorry. A
You: And yet living alone is something they're completely fine with? C
Stranger: So long as it isn't with a woman. A
You: So, if a man were to suddenly start living with you, they'd still be fine with it? C
If anything, that would strike me as worse... C
You: I'm assuming living with you as your pet snake would be completely out in that case... C
Stranger: Right, so long as it is my a woman, or a man I wasn't married to. A
Stranger: They might try to kill you. A
You: They can certainly try. C
Maybe I could be your new employee? C
Stranger: Oh! That's perfect. A
You: Great! Okay. I can definitely do that. C
Stranger: Just don't touch the books, or actually sell any of my books. A
You: How about organising your books? Is that alright? C
You: At least getting some of the piles off the floor, anyway. C
You: Wait- I thought the point of a bookshop was to sell books? C
Stranger: I will occasionally sell, if I have two of something. A
You: So.. it's more of a collection then? C
Stranger: No, it's a shop. A
You: Right... C
You: So, what would you like me to do as your employee? C
Stranger: Get rid of annoying customers? A
You: Shouldn't be a problem. Anything else? C
Stranger: Not really. Don't organise things, I'll get to it eventually. A
You: Dusting? C
Stranger: No. A
You: All I will say is if a sibling of yours comes in and sees me just standing around, they'll either thing you're an awful manager, or that you should fire me on the spot. C
Stranger: Just look busy, they don't know what goes into running a shop. A
You: Alright, I'll pretend to do inventory, or I'll doodle behind the counter. C
Stranger: Do you like drawing? A
You: Sometimes, yeah. C
Stranger: What else do you like doing? A
Stranger: Aside from breaking and entering. A
You: I like causing harmless mischief from time to time, like gluing pennies to the pavement from time to time. C
I haven't had the opportunity to stick around with anyone long enough to really dive into new hobbies, but I love the idea of caring for houseplants, and subjects like botany and astronomy have always fascinated me. C
What about you? I can tell you like to get cozy with a good book, but is there anything else you like to do? C
Stranger: I like good food, and wine, or scotch- but only the single malt and it has to be chilled, but no ice in the glass or it'll get watered down. A
Stranger: I've got quite a few little hobbies, nothing I'm particularly good at though, which my family never fails to let me know, heh. A
Stranger: [...] That sounded pathetic. Ignore that. A
You: I wouldn't listen to them. Do what you like to do. As long as it makes you happy, that's what matters. C
What are some of those other hobbies? C
Stranger: Right, well, I like learning languages, though French isn't exactly my strong suit. Slight of hand magic was fun, I think I was alright at it. I used to dance. A
You: Well, I'd love to see if you every wanted to show me. C
I know I love dancing, but I'm not sure I'm any good at it either. C
Stranger: I'll only bore you. A
You: Nonsense. C
Besides, maybe I can help you with a bit of French as long as you can teach me another language you know. C
Stranger: I would be up for that. A
You: I think it could be fun. C
Stranger: I guess if you really are staying. At least until you get sick of me. A
You: I doubt that would happen. C
Stranger: It's what always happens. A
You: Maybe if you tried being friends with stuck up people before. I think you're wonderful, though. C
They don't know what they were missing. C
Stranger: I think your have to think that. A
Stranger: Some sort of familiar thing, I'm sure. A
You: Nah, of all the magic users I've ever been paired with, I think I would enjoy my time with you the most. C
Stranger: Do you want something? I don't have anything to give you. A
You: I mean, my purpose is to serve you, simply put. As long as you're happy, then so am I. C
Stranger: [...] I don't know what to do with that. A
You: Anything you'd like. C
Even if it's just being a friend to you, I can do that. Doesn't have to be only things pertaining to magic. C
Stranger: A friend? A
Stranger: Hm. Alright. Maybe that would be nice. A
You: I think so, too. C
Stranger: Just give me a warning if you want to leave. A
You: I doubt that would happen. C
Stranger: Yes, so you've said. But just promise me. A
You: Of course, angel. C
Stranger: Angel? A
You: Well, you're sweet like one right now. C
Plus your name is angelic anyway... Is that alright? C
Stranger: Yes, that's fine. The name was on purpose. A
Stranger: I mean. Not my purpose! I didn't choose my name. A
You: You're cute when you're flustered. C
But it's alright, I get what you mean. C
Stranger: I'm not cute! A
You: What makes you say that? C
Stranger: Because I'm not. A
You: Well I think you're adorable. C
Stranger: That's ridiculous. A
You: Maybe I am. But that doesn't change how cute and adorable you are. C
Stranger: Enough enough, that's not necessary. A
Stranger: [...] Snakes are sort of cute too. A
You: Not many people would say that... C
Stranger: Well I'm not many people. A
You: You really are sweet, angel. C
Stranger: I just said snakes in general were cute! A
You: But do you think I'm cute as a snake? C
Stranger: [...] I guess so, yes. A bit intimidating with the size. A
You: You know I'd never bite. C
Not you, anyway. C
Stranger: I don't know that. A
You: I'm still me when I'm in my other form. C
I promise, you're always safe with me. C
Stranger: I used to really want a pet snake. If you want to, you can be like that. When people aren't here at least. A
You: I'd love that. C
What are some things you'd like to do with me as your pet? C
Stranger: You're not a pet. A
You: Fair point. But if you feel you've missed out, I'd like to help you make up for it. C
I could hang out with you while you read. I'm sure I enjoy cozy spots as much as you like that. C
You can also hold me, whatever you'd like. C
Stranger: [...] If you want, I wouldn't mind. A
Stranger: Snakes like warmth, right? I've been told I run pretty warm. A
You: I was just about to mention, I might be tempted to cuddle in that case. Though if I ever cross a boundary, you can always move me, or just tell me no. C
Stranger: Just don't bite or strangle me. A
You: You know I'm also meant to protect you, right? C
I'm supposed to bite and strangle anyone who means you harm. C
Stranger: Oh. Well, no biting or strangling my family, please. A
You: I'll resist the urge if it arises. C
Stranger: So I have a guard snake? A
You: Basically, yeah. That's one of the typical duties of a familiar. C
Stranger: Please just be careful. I don't need to get in trouble because of an aggressive animal in my shop. A
You: That's why you have your employee specialising in customer disservice, right? C
Stranger: Quite right. They can be a bit pushy when they want something. A
Stranger: Oh but let the university students be! They're allowed to read the material here. A
You: Yeah, students are usually fine. But I just can't sell anything. C
Stranger: Correct. A
You: Got it. C
Stranger: You're really being much less judgemental than I thought you would be. A
You: Why would I be judgemental? C
It's clear you care deeply for your books. C
Stranger: It's a silly thing to care so much about. A
You: But you do care about them, and they're important to you. C
Stranger: [...] Thank you A
You: Of course, angel. C
Stranger: Not many people seem to get it, so it's nice. A
Stranger: I'll be home soon, two plates of food, as promised. A
You both like Ineffable Husbands, and Ineffable wives.
Stranger: [18+; Human AU, College AU, TW//Homophobia; Aziraphale invited Crowley to spend Christmas with him at his family's house, so he didn't have to spend it alone. During family dinner, his parents and his brother Gabriel said some pretty homophobic things. It caused Crowley to run out on them] Crowley, dear, where have you gone? -A
You: Oh, y'know. Just needed some air. C
Stranger: Right, yes, quite. I understand, really. -A
You: [...] Mostly wanted to get away before I do or say something rude. C
I'd hate to ruin Christmas for you. C
Stranger: I wouldn't have held it against you, Crowley. -A // I think I've taken over that role. -A
You: No, no. Not at all. I'll be fine if a few minutes. Just need to cool off a bit. C
Still better than I would've dealt with back home. C
Stranger: I'm still terribly sorry you had to deal with this at all. -A // I suppose I was a little too hopefully, thinking they would behave with a guest over. I was so hopeful that this year would be different. -A
You: (brb)
You: It's not your fault. I know you always try to see the best in people. C
[...] Maybe next year, we could just both have Christmas to ourselves? We can do our own thing, enjoy it. C
Just an idea. C
Stranger: I just wanted to... I wanted to have christmas with you and have it be a nice one for once. I suppose that was naive. -A // Crowley, I'm not sure I can do that. -A
You: Why not? I mean, if your family makes you miserable, then why go there for what's supposed to be a happy occasion? C
Stranger: Because they will be terribly mad if I'm not here for Christmas. -A
You: I mean, I get why they might be upset. But your happiness matters, too. C
Stranger: They never cared about my happiness, dear. -A
You: I do. C
Stranger: I know you do, dear. Unfortunately you might be the only one. -A
You: Then let's celebrate it ourselves. C
I can fake an emergency to keep you around next year, if your family gets nudgy about it. C
Stranger: [...] Crowley, I don't think they care much about emergencies. And I've had enough emotional and verbal abuse. Don't need to push it to... other things, again, as much as I want to spend Christmas with you. -A
You: Right, I get it. C
But if they've been hurting you for this long, the only thing that helped me was leaving it all behind. C
Stranger: [Very Delayed] I'm terribly afraid of what they will do, if I leave. -A // On top of that, I don't have the funds to afford college. -A
You: Then if you need to hold off until we're done with school, then so be it. C
What are you afraid they'll do? C
Stranger: So be it. -A // ... I'm afraid they will genuinely hurt me. -A
You: Like they'll get violent? C
Stranger: [Very Delayed] Possibly. -A
You: Listen, angel. You wouldn't be alone, if you ever decide to take that step. I'll be there for you, whatever you need. C
We can look out for one another. C
Stranger: I really, really do appreciate that, dear. Unfortunately, I'm quite the coward. It wouldn't be the first time they raised their fist. -A
You: Oh, angel... C
If they ever lay a hand on you again, it'll be the last time they have fucking hands. C
Stranger: Crowley, dear. I really don't want you to get in trouble for me. -A
You: Aziraphale, I will always be there for you, and I will protect you if you need it. C
No one should ever hurt you like that. C
Stranger: I'm used to it, dear. Really. -A
You: That's no excuse. You deserve so much better. C
Stranger: [...] Why? -A // I'm not the perfect angel they wanted me to be. -A
You: How on earth aren't you a perfect angel? You're so kind to everyone you meet, and thoughtful, and you're so sweet and considerate. C
You show the world kindness, and that makes you the most wonderful angel. C
Stranger: That isn't what they envision in a perfect angel. -A // They wanted a son that's obedient. That does as they say, works towards what they want him to. -A // And I'm not any of that. -A // ... Not even really a son... -A
You: You're your own person, and there's nothing wrong with that. C
Stranger: For them, there is. -A // I'm not what they wanted. -A // And I'm queer. God, that seems to be the biggest issue. -A
You: So am I! There's nothing wrong with that. C
What they lack is an open mind to whatever doesn't fit into their cookie-cutter idea of existence. C
Stranger: Of course there's nothing wrong with it. At least, when it's not me... -A
You: You're allowed to be different. You're allowed to be yourself. C
There is nothing wrong with you being queer. C
Stranger: [Very Delayed] I'm sorry I'm making you deal with all of this negativity. -A
You: You don't have to apologize for any of it. I'm here for you. C
Stranger: I just. -A // I feel horrible. -A // I really don't like myself. In fact... I think they managed to convince me to hate myself. -A // And I'm tired. Terribly tired. -A
You: Angel, there is plenty to like about you. I just think if you keep trying to make yourself fit other people's standards, then of course your going to be exhausted and miserable. C
Stranger: [...] They will hurt me, if I don't, Crowley. I'm tired of being berated, humiliated and hurt. -A
You: Look, we can figure things out if you want to get out. There are scholarships that I think you'd have no trouble getting. You can stay with me if it makes things easier. I just want you to be safe and happy. C
Stranger: And leech off of you? What if you grow tired of me as well? So far, everybody I've ever met has grown tired of me, eventually. -A
You: How could I ever grow tired of you? You're my closest friend, and I love having you around. C
And I don't mind putting you up either. My late aunt left me my flat, so I don't owe anything except utilities. C
Stranger: [...] And you're... sure about this, Crowley? I... I won't be able to come back here, if I leave. -A
You: I'm sure about it from my end, but it's your call. It's a big decision, so it's no rush from me whether or not you go for it. C
Stranger: [Very Delayed] ... I'm tired, so tired of being beat up. I'm so tired of being hurt. I'm so tired of patching myself up over and over again. I'm going to break. I... I can't do this for much longer anymore, Crowley. -A // ... you're reaching a rope to a drowning person. -A // [...] And this isn't fair of me, not in the least, but... but please... save me. -A
You: We can leave tonight if you want to. My suitcase has pretty much stayed packed this whole time. C
We'll head back to mine, get you settled in, and we'll figure the rest out, alright? C
Stranger: [...] Will you help me pack? -A
You: Absolutely. C
Stranger: You can't imagine how much this means to me. -A // This... might be the best Christmas present I have ever received. -A // ... freedom. -A
You: Then I'll meet you inside, and I'll help you get started. C
Just getting to spend Christmas with you is enough of a present for me. C
Stranger: I have an actual present for you, too. -A
You: Same here, actually. C
We can exchange them once we're away from here. C
Stranger: [...] If they notice I'm packing and they come for me, Crowley, please just... leave. -A
You: I'm not leaving you behind. That's out of the question. C
Stranger: I don't want them to hurt you. -A
You: And you shouldn't have to get hurt either. C
If they notice us, just get to the car. C
Stranger: [...] Okay. We'll leave together, yeah? -A
You both like Ineffable Husbands, and Ineffable Wives.
Stranger: ((Ineffable Wives / Human AU. Aziraphale has been dating a completely self centered asshole with a bad cheating habit he doesn't even bother to hide. And lately, he's been boasting about how he's going to seduce Crowley, Aziraphale’s best friend. In FRONT OF Aziraphale. Who Crowley is in love with.)) Your prick of a boyfriend is writing creepy comments on my Facebook pictures. Like. For anyone and everyone to see. C
You: Shit. I didn't think he was actually going to do that. A
What has he been saying? A
Stranger: Hah! This has you cursing, damn. C
Stranger: Pointing out my tits mostly. C
You: That's it. I'm done. A
I know it's a big ask, but would you mind if I stayed with you for a while? A
Stranger: Oh /please/ do. C
Stranger: I've been preparing for this day. C
You: Great, thank you so much, Crowley. I owe you one. A
Would you be able to come pick me up? A
Stranger: Certainly. Want me to wear a sweater? Hide my tits? C
You: He's out with friends at the moment. I'm packing my things now. A
It's really up to you, but I think I can be quick. A
Stranger: I'll pick you up topless then. C
You: Ha, very funny. A
When would you be able to get here? A
Stranger: Five minutes, I'm already on the way. C
You: Perfect, thank you so much. A
I can't even begin to tell you how much I appreciate this. A
You: (A few minutes later) I think I have everything. Though I will warn you that one of these suitcases is going to be extremely heavy. I hope that's alright. A
Stranger: Yeah shouldn't be any trouble. I'm stronger than I look. Probably. I've picked you up before. C
Stranger: Mightve been alcohol strength though. C
You: Oh, good! I couldn't bear to leave any of my books behind. A
I suppose I'll see you soon? A
Stranger: Yep, see you very soon angel. C
Stranger: (Paras? I can start us)
You: (Sure! Thank you :) )
Stranger: Crowley was blaring music on the way to fetch Aziraphale, cheering out of her window and scaring people walking by. Today was absolutely perfect, Deadweight would be gone, and she'd have Aziraphale to herself for at least a few days. She screeched to a stop outside, honking once before hopping out. "Angel! Sorry to disappoint, but I had to wear a shirt. Public decency laws and all that. What can I take, everything will fit in the back seat. Probably."
You: One thing was for certain: Aziraphale had been far too patient. Far too forgiving. Something about his recent behaviour flipped a switch in her mind, and she knew it would be best to leave and never turn back. The last bit of kindness she had to give was leaving a terse note for her now-ex before she headed out the door. She was just grateful that even after being the subject of that disgusting behavior, that Crowley was still willing to help her. She'd managed to get both her large suitcases to the pavement by the time Crowley pulled up, and she sighed in relief as soon as she laid eyes on her. "Thank you again. I owe you so many favours," she mentioned as she gave the other a smile. "I'll at least help you with the heavy one."
Stranger: "Bah, don't mention it, angel." She waved her hand nonchalantly, going pink in the face as she lifted up a luggage bag and maneuvered it into the back seat. "I have been eagerly awaiting this day. I actually have supplies..." She climbed into the car again, grabbed a small pack under the seat. "Right! So, we've got spray paint, a glitter bomb, and last, but not least, this!" She pulled out a little odd looking device, maniacally gleeful. "This, angel mine, will blast a really loud noise once a day, but it stops after three seconds so you don't have enough time to find it. Can I please put it under his couch or something?"
You: Aziraphale's eyes widened at the supplies Crowley showed her, blinking for a few moments at just how much her best friend was /prepared/ for all this. "I'd hate to rain on your parade, dear, but I think the spray paint might be a tad bit overkill, depending on what you target. But I think the others could be delightful to work with. In fact, I think I know the perfect place for that noisemaker of yours," she answered with a giddy smile.
Stranger: "Angel, you're absolutely breathtaking when you're being a bastard. Show me, please." She could swoon, fuck she was in love. "We could have a very nice evening making the next week of his life hell. And I know exactly how to keep him away from here longer." Pulling out her mobile, she slung her arm around Aziraphale so she could watch what she was doing. 'Hey, I saw your comments. You should come to mine as soon as possible, bring wine, don't tell Aziraphale. ;)'. "What d'you think. Believable enough? Do remember that he is a complete idiot."
You: "Oh, he'd definitely fall for it," Aziraphale answered. She made her way to one of the framed prints on the wall and she removed it to reveal a hole in the drywall. "One of his friends had a bit much to drink one night when he was over and made this. I cut a deal with him and hid it. I doubt that friend even remembers it's here," she explained with a small smirk as he looked to Crowley. "Do you think that will do?"
Stranger: "Oh that's perfect, you're brilliant. He's going to be living in fear for weeks!" She dropped the enveloped glitter bomb by the door, practically buzzing with how excited she was. "This things got pink glitter too. Because he seems like the type to care about that sort of thing. Why on earth were you with this idiot? I never understood it."
You: "I suppose not having anyone seemed worse than at least having him. But it's definitely not worth it. Especially if he's trying to get with you," Aziraphale sighed. "Not that it would've worked out for him, but that definitely crossed a line for me. I'm just a bit embarrassed it took me this long..."
Stranger: "You should be embarrassed. That was embarrassing." She teased. "And he did get with me, didn't you see my super flirtatious text to him? I mean hubba hubba, who wouldn't want a pathetic, egotistical, cheater."
You: "Well, I appreciate you having my back. I'm not sure I could ever thank you enough," Aziraphale told her with a smile. "I don't suppose you have a plan for when we get to yours?" She asked curiously. After all, if Crowley was this prepared, she must have had some other tricks up her sleeve.
Stranger: Crowley huffed, rolling her eyes. "You won't let me make anything a surprise. I've got your favourite wine, and all your favourite snacks stocked up. And I got a bunch of menus for places nearby we can order from. Whatever you want, my treat."
You: "Crowley! You didn't have to go through all that trouble just for me." Aziraphale would certainly find some way to repay her for all of her kindness, especially for letting her stay, for everything. "You're far too sweet to me..."
Stranger has disconnected.
(If this was you, and/or a lost rp, feel free to reach out <3)
I know we found each other once already, but this was starting to get really cute, and I’d love to keep this going <3
You both like Ineffable Husbands, and Ineffable Wives.
Stranger: ((Ineffable wives. Eldrich horror. CW: domestic abuse. Crowley has been dating a woman named Luci for a handful of years. Things started out alright, but gradually got worse and worse over the years. Luci being manipulative, possessive, and critical. But oddly enough, suddenly and entirely out of the blue, she's completely changed. Considerate, sweet and caring. Almost like she's someone else. Someone who is madly in love with her.)) Aziraphale hummed softly, having a great deal of fun washing dishes. She couldn't use her power to clean them with Crowley around, but was still enjoying the suds and water. The woman herself seemed to always watch her, Aziraphale able to feel her anxiety rolling off her in waves. Hopefully, that wouldn't last forever as she did very genuinely want Crowley to feel at ease around her. She had spent so long watching her try so hard to please Luci, and Luci treating her with so much contempt. Aziraphale would do better than she ever did, and make Crowley happier than she ever did as well. She just had to get her human, to trust her first. "Do you want a coffee, my dear? I think I might make some." Though, Aziraphale’s would mysteriously taste like cocoa instead. (Lost someone)
You: (That might've been me? Crowley was just checking her for a fever...)
Stranger: (Yeah, really sorry. I'm staying in a hotel and a bedbug crawled on my pillow. In front of my face... I got distracted. In a new room now lol)
Stranger: Aziraphale hummed, taking Crowley’s hand and kissing it sweetly. "Is my temperature normal? Or are you going to take care of me, hm? I can't say I'd mind."
You: "I'd take care of you either way, but no fever, so that's good," Crowley told her with a soft smile, her heart fluttering at the way her lips felt on her hand. "Can I ask you something?"
Stranger: "Anything. Well... nearly anything." She winked at her, making two mugs of coffee. "Just how you like it, almost as sweet as you." She sipped her own and it indeed tasted just like cocoa.
You: As the other got their coffees ready, Crowley made sure she chose her words carefully. Just in case this was all short-lived, and Luci would snap back to her usual self if she made one misstep. "Thank you," she told her with a small smile. "It's just that for a long time, I haven't seen you truly happy, and now you seem to be in a much better place all the sudden. Is there something that's made you happier?"
Stranger: "Nothing in particular. I'm just feeling lucky to have such a perfect lover. I'm... I know things weren't great before. But I'm going to make it better. Things will never be the way they used to be, I promise."
You: Crowley met her gaze, looking for any sign that this was some sick joke, and that Luci would be back to pinpointing every one of her insecurities. However, she sounded completely genuine. Would it be so naïve to take a chance? "I'm feeling rather lucky for that too," she told her with a smile. "I like this side of you, and I definitely hope I get to see more of it."
Stranger: "I'm making a change, so you certainly will." She could feel Crowley’s anxiety ebbing away, Aziraphale couldn't keep the grin off her face. "You, my dearest, are going to be spoiled. For as long as you'll let me." She leaned back against the counter, even though she wanted to move closer to Crowley. Best not to overwhelm the poor thing.
You: Crowley leaned up against the countertop beside her love before taking a sip of her coffee, which tasted exactly the way she liked it. Most of her worry was eased, at least, so maybe this would be a real change for the better. "Then if you don't mind, maybe we could have a day to ourselves? Do something fun together," she suggested. "I'd love to get to know this new you."
Stranger: "Oh? I'd love to! What might you like to do. Dinner? You could wear that dress in your closet, or the suit! Either one would look lovely." She really would, those long legs of hers and slim figure assured that.
Amazon Unveils a [Horrifying] Fanfic Publishing Platform
Today, Amazon announced the imminent launch of its newest endeavor, Kindle Worlds, a publishing platform for fanfiction. When I read the announcement, I was horrified, then angry, then sad. I want to take a moment to explain why this is such a tragedy.
If you don’t feel like reading after the read more, here is the most important stand out of Kindle World’s TOS.
“By using the platform, authors give all rights to the work to Amazon, who can then license your elements to other authors with no compensation to the original poster.”
If you want to retain rights to your work, don’t use this site. Stick to AO3.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say STAND WITH HONG KONG AGAINST THE CCP!
You both like Ineffable Husbands.
Stranger: ((Human AU. Totally based off another prompt on here. Dark!Crowley, Aziraphale felt there was something off about Crowley and was reluctant to agree to a date no matter how sweet he was by bringing him chocolates, treats and flowers. Despite his initial feeling, Aziraphale did fall for him, and although conflicted, he was urged by his friends to give him a chance. Crowley can be a part of the mob, not quite human, or even just a normal guy with an obsession. Go as dark as you want, no limits.)) Crowley, do you have a moment? -A
You: I always do for you. What is it, angel? C
Stranger: Thank you. I wanted to ... sincerely apologize to you. -A
You: What for? You haven't done anything wrong. C
Stranger: I’m just rather worried that I’ve been... callous and cruel. I do appreciate it, and quite love it when you come around the shop! You’re a very sweet man. -A
You: Please, you're definitely the sweet one here. And you certainly haven't been cruel in the slightest. C
Stranger: Thank you, dear. I’m glad you don’t think so! But you are certainly the kindest person in the world. -A [......] Do you perhaps want to go out to dinner this weekend? -A
You: Only trying to spoil a lovely and deserving gentleman. C
Nothing would make me happier. When did you have in mind? C
Stranger: Oh, you’ve accomplished that! Your taste is truly impeccable, you brought me the best sweets. I do have a bit of a sweet tooth. -A ...Perhaps Friday if you’re free? And please, I insist on treating you to wherever we go. -A
You: Oh, good. Glad you've enjoyed them, and I'll definitely keep that in mind. C
But you don't have to do that. I like treating you. C
Stranger: I feel so badly, you do simply everything for me. You’re too lovely, I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve it! -A ...At least pick the place, dear. I’m hardly picky, I quite enjoy many different things! -A
You: You've been a gorgeous, perfect angel. C
How do you like Italian then? C
Stranger: You’re such a flatterer, you handsome thing. -A [....] I love it, simply wonderful flavors. Do you have a place in mind? -A
You: I do, and I think you'll really enjoy it. C
What time should I come pick you up? C
Stranger: Oh, lovely, I can’t wait to see what you’ve chosen. Perhaps around six if it works for you? -A
You: That works wonderfully. I'll see you on Friday then? C
Stranger: Wonderful, dear! I’ll see you then. Please drive safely. We’re supposed to get snow. -A
You: I will, my lovely angel. C
Stranger: ((Would you like to switch to paragraphs?))
You: (Sure, would you like to start, or would you like me to?)
Stranger: ((Since Crowley’s coming over would you mind? ))
You: (yeah, sure thing!)
Stranger: ((Thank you! ))
You: When Crowley first laid eyes on the lovely bookshop owner, he couldn't help but shower him with gifts every time he was in the area. Flowers, chocolates, anything he saw that he thought that lovely angel would enjoy. Not to mention just sharing a few moments of conversation during his visits, peppered with easy flirtations, could easily make even the worst days so much better. And now he had a dinner date with Aziraphale himself, and Crowley couldn't be more thrilled. He'd made special reservations, and with snow lightly falling on the streets of Soho, he pulled up in front of the bookshop in his Bentley, soon getting out with a bouquet of roses, which he meticulously picked out to make sure he had the perfect ones to give. He stood just outside as he waited, right on time for when the other man wanted him to arrive.
Stranger: ((This is lovely! I just have to let me dog out really quick and then I will start typing!))
You: (No problem!)
Stranger: “Oh, stop being silly,” he muttered to himself before he returned to his day of stacking shelves. In theory, Crowley should have been the man of Aziraphale’s dreams! He was frankly /beautiful/, considerate, attentive, and brilliantly witty. However the moment he had walked into his ship, he had felt such anxiety and deep-seated apprehension for him, and he couldn’t, for the life of him say why! He always made sure that he was ‘busy’ or meeting with friends, because he quite frankly didn’t wish to be alone with him. Over time, the feeling had slowly repressed itself, and Aziraphale could fully admit that he had quite the crush on him! He didn’t know such a stylish, nice, cool man would waste time wooing a reserved, slight prissy bookseller, but what was he to do against such attentions /except/ fall for him?! Crowley was charismatic and energetic about many topics, making Aziraphale smile when he spoke about his lovely car or his music or his plants. But it still didn’t stop the nervousness as Friday evening rolled around, Aziraphale in his normal suit and a bow tie, fleece coat and mittens. He didn’t like the cold! Anathema and Newt had called him mad for not even trying. And so he would! Perhaps the remaining nervousness would dissipate, after all he wasn’t used to putting himself out there! He saw the familiar car outside and had a tiny smile, stepping outside to greet him. “Hello, dear!” He said, but then he stopped, a more genuine smile overtaking his face. “Crowley! Oh my goodness, you shouldn’t have.” He insisted, putting a hand to his heart in shock. “They’re simply beautiful!”
Stranger: ((Aziraphale’s mittens are like Bernie Sander’s btw. Couldn’t think of any other kind he’d have 😂))
You: (That's too perfect 😂)
You: Crowley smiled adoringly once he saw his date all bundled up, and he soon handed Aziraphale the flowers he'd brought. "Not nearly as beautiful as you," he answered as he took in the sight of the lovely man. Bundled up was to say the least, and Crowley happily waited for the other to take care of the flowers. With how often he brought some over to him, he was certain he had a vase somewhere that would be ready. But he waited for Aziraphale to be ready before he offered his hand to the other. "Something tells me you'll love the heated seats," he mentioned as he led the bookseller to his car, smiling at him softly before opening the door for him. He then got in on the other side and smiled over at Aziraphale before he pulled out onto the street and started toward their destination. "How's your day been? Any interesting customers?"
Stranger: “Oh hush,” he said delightedly, taking the roses from him gratefully, taking a sniff even. He so adored flowers, and he was quite flustered whenever he received them. “One second, dear, let me just put these in a night vase, and then we can get a move on.” He said, as he turned back inside, hoping the pleased flush and racing of his heart would subside a little. He kept several vases because Crowley simply brought him so many flowers! He arranged them carefully, a find touch to their petals, and then hurried himself back outside. “Thank you for waiting,” he told him and Aziraphale’s inner avid reader of chivalrous romances absolutely preened as he held the car door open for him. “Thank you,” he said with a duck of his head, slowly climbing in his car. Crowley told him how much work he had put into it and it absolutely showed! He must love it very much. He settled, a sigh of contentment as he pulled off his mittens and relaxed in the car’s warmth. “My day was lovely, barely any customers!” He exclaimed. And perhaps it was odd, he just didn’t want to get rid of his books unless he had to. “Anathema did stop by.” More like giving him tips, ‘kiss him already you idiot!’ Much to the shy bookseller’s rampant disagreements. “Lovely girl, very smart.” He turned to him. “How was yours? Get into any dramatics with plants?”
Stranger: *nice vase
You: "I'm sure you enjoyed the quiet, then," Crowley offered with a smile as he glanced over at the other. He couldn't help but take in just how gorgeous Aziraphale looked as he drove down the snowy street. He'd heard Aziraphale bring up Anathema a few times before, and from what it sounded like, she was just about as bookish as the sweet angel beside him. "Oh, plants are growing nicely. Maybe my firm words with them are paying off," he added with a chuckle. "But today's been nice. Mostly looking forward to this," he added as he smiled over at Aziraphale. It wasn't long until he pulled up outside the restaurant, which looked fancy even from the outside. Once he'd parked, he got out of the car and helped the other man out of the car, offering his arm as he led him inside.
Once they checked in with the hostess at the front, they were brought to an elegant table at a quiet spot of the restaurant, which was a bit quieter than usual in the first place, even with the snow falling that evening. Other than the waitstaff, the only other's in the restaurant were some gentlemen in dark suits posted discreetly by the entrance. Once again maintaining his manners, Crowley pulled out a chair for Aziraphale as he smiled at the other warmly before he took a seat across from him.
Stranger: “Very much so,” he replied. “Selling my books is always my least favorite part!” Aziraphale had never been bold about anything in his entire life, but he did find himself considering Anathema’s words. Would Crowley like to kiss him? He dearly hope so. Aziraphale found himself more at ease, sharing a laugh with him. “Oh my dear, when you told me of your methods I was absolutely boggled! Your plants must be rather terrified of you. I... suppose they must not know how sweet you truly are.” And sweet he was, a sharp gasp from Aziraphale as he parked in front of the restaurant. He had so very often wanted to go here, but he never had! Aziraphale already felt underdressed, and he made a mental note to insist the bill be split. “Crowley, honestly.” He shook his head in fond amusement as the two went inside. It smelled /divine/, and oh how thoughtful was he? Charmed, he couldn’t possibly resist, perhaps being more bold than he had ever done so in his life, “Thank you, my dear,” he said, and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek in thanks, his own cheeks suddenly burning as he sat down. Oh no, should he have asked?! Perhaps he should have asked, oh dear. Suddenly nervous, he glanced over the available menu. “I think you’ve picked a perfect place!” He said, hoping to change the subject.
You: It had always intrigued him how Aziraphale never liked to sell his books, but if he loved them so dearly, it did make some sense. It was adorable, really. It was like the other man had his own personal library in a way. "Probably better that they don't get that idea. Maybe they'd get lazy as a result," Crowley mentioned with a playful smile. Though when Aziraphale gave him that gentle peck, his heart was soaring. His cheeks warmed as he quickly sat down. "Yeah, of course. You mentioned being a bit of a foodie, so I figured you might enjoy it here," he answered as he smiled across at the other man. It didn't take him much to book the entire restaurant for the night with his connections, after all, and Aziraphale seemed to enjoy peace and quiet. "We could get a bottle of wine to share if you'd like?" he suggested, taking in the sight of the other man, how lovely it was to simply bask in his presence...
Stranger: ((Jesus Crowley you bought out the entire restaurant XD lmaoooo ))
You: (Oh, those mafia connections, you know... ;) )
Stranger: ((Never once did aziraphale even be like “how can he afford all this stuff?” Nah he’s oblivious lol, or well not quite Bc of those initial feelings ;) ))
