god (self diagnosed)

saša | 1992 | he/him | fag | brainweird | satanist | anarchist

[mascwoman]

New bumper sticker 🕺

[oxypill]

another week of whatever the fuck this shit is

[machinot]

I would take a job pushing the Sisyphus rock if it paid 20 an hour and I could wear my headphones

[dragon-in-a-fez]

no post has ever altered my brain chemistry as much as "can only you see the time being?"

[dragon-in-a-fez]

in case you're not familiar:

[chronophobica]

what they DONT tell you about clarinets is that you have to fucking build the damn thing every single time. "what instrument do you play" fucking legos man idk

[alphabetizing-posts]

about build clarinets damn do DONT every fucking fucking have idk instrument is legos man play" single tell that the they thing time. to what "what you you you

[howverychaotic]

I really need to start reading the blog name because I thought I was having some sort of moment right there.

[parkchanwoohoo]

The facial expressions of everyone trying not to lose it are killing me

[gunsandfireandshit]

This is painfully American

[dirtbaby2016]

Americans be like it is totally normal for an entire stadium (including military members) to stand at attention while a fast food clown mascot sings the national anthem

[unstablebill]

when we say "it is functionally impossible to parody Americans in a way that will actually insult them" this is the sort of thing you're up against. is your sick burn funnier than corporation burger clown sing national anthem baseball game? no?? of course it isn't.

[i-am-bic]

"There's no platonic explanation for this" <-you need to be nicer to your friends. Right now

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[mangonetics]

Dogs serve as a kind of virtue eater for Americans to pour all of their kindness into without the risk of improving society or being nice to someone with any agency

[lookinggoodinplaid]

(In a Werner Herzog voice) The perpetual references to Lassie in popular culture, an archetypal savior of the family and its children, positions the dog as an enforcer of the status quo. Beneath those watery irises is an endeavor to sequester the latent kindnesses of society into a furry, lovable vessel rather than allow individuals to direct it towards each other. Lassie is an evil, borne from our innate cowardice towards the prospect interacting with one's fellow man. Perhaps it is easier for the American to die than to reach out a hand in fellowship. Under the prevalence of canines, cruelty is a preferential morality.

[footage of police dogs is shown over the last few sentences]

[redstonedust]

some people like to get mad at disability benefits because they think its unfair people who dont work get a payout from the government while they have to work 50 hours at the human suffering factory every week. but if you tell them "yeah that sucks i think you should also get a universal allowance and not have to work 50 hours at the human suffering factory every week" thats apparently the wrong answer.

[radiofreederry]

Sounds hot

[thatgoblinjess]

[adventureo]

theres a whole album of song titles you can make just from the words of this tweet

[rockergiirl]

check out my next stoner metal ep, featuring such classics as:

Marijuanification

Complete Derangement

Stoned Sex Drive

Derangement Manifests a Literal Sex Demon

Monstrum Incarnate

Narcotic Parody of Sex

[edjicatrydau-deactivated2026012]

this makes smoking weed sound so much cooler than it is

[targetedknowledge]

[killerqueenmp3]

[laura-the-swarming]

My mans unlocked a higher level of synesthesia

[gondorrevealparty]

Polycules should be able to trade people like sports teams do

[gondorrevealparty]

Listen -- you're a good defender and your pussy is fantastic, but that's not what our team needs right now. We're trading you to Greater Boston in exchange for someone who has a car.

[cryptotheism]

"Medieval Christians would have gone nuts for protons, neutrons, and electrons for trinity reasons" sounds like a jokey oversimplification historypost but I cannot really articulate how true that is. They would never shut up about it.

[ahopefulbromantic]

RIP St Thomas Aquinas you would have loved atomic physics

[werewolf-transgenderism]

this is fucking killing me bro. computah, show me more hot hockey firefighters whaling on cops

[sometiktoksarevalid]