CryinggMySoulOut

Hey, I’m a girl who loves too deeply and lives with an open soul, but has a dark side filled with sadness and pain. This blog is about what really burns inside my mind, heart and soul. (started w/20 now I’m 25 btw)

[cryinggmysoulout]

„I always wanted to be enough,

good enough was what I strived for.

Being seen, being loved, being looked at like a blooming rose in a garden of shrubs.

I went out into the world to find someone to accept me, to hold me; adore me at last.

Wandering around, I have found many eyes that saw me, still I was not seen.

In my darkest hour where my soul drowned in a sea of sadness, there was a glimpse. I saw myself, mirrored in the depths of my water.

Eventually I saw myself for the first time, I saw my beauty, my pain and I saw my soul and at last my mind switched: “I am enough, I have always been”.

-A.J.

#youareenough #goodenough #worthy #female #poems #deeppoetry

[cryinggmysoulout]

„After all these years; the pain feels lighter; the ashes of my burning heart seem calm; life smiles back at me; hope arrived.“ - A.J

[cryinggmysoulout]

„Like a garden; blooming again after such long years of drought.“ - A.J

[yekkes]

The only thing that has ever improved my mental health in any measurable capacity is making more friends. That's literally it

[thejhambs]

The way isolation plays on your psyche, and the way that a solid support system can improve your life is insane. One of the worst things that we did as a society is removing most avenues to find this kind of thing, and the over reliance on the idea of getting better on your own

[yekkes]

!!!

[yekkes]

[broihatewriting]

Love

I looked down at the carpet. Then I looked back to you. A realization dawning on me as clear as the daylight. I held no true love for you, at least not anymore. Hatred and hurt coming to take its place.

You, The person I was supposed to love unconditionally— From the day I was born. Yet here you are, A stranger to me.

As that realization flooded me— I wanted nothing more to be in your arms, Have you tell me everything will be fine. I would make a deal with the devil just to feel— An ounce of that unconditional love a child has for it's mother. Again.

I would give everything to love you like I used to. I look away from you. Perhaps that's what love is.

-Nix

[cryinggmysoulout]

„The sadness inside of me makes me want to run away, to break out of everything, to escape, to find a place of peace.

But I cannot run from myself; or the sadness inside of me.“

-A.J.

[coudyl]

Dear men:

Be the guy who is supportive this is just a test in your relationship trust and all dont worry too much love her the way she deserves it will all be worth it.

[dk-thrive]

“We need to stop romanticising mental illness as a pathway to artistic greatness. Mental illness is not a romance—a ticket to genius—it is excruciatingly isolating. It is a ticket to fucking nowhere.”

— Hannah Gadsby, Ten Steps to Nanette. A Memoir Situation (Random House, March 29, 2022) 

[cryinggmysoulout]

„Life recently has been a fight, with many ups and even more downs.

Isn’t it crazy how time passes, but feelings stay? How days come and go, but the sadness stays?

My heart has been bleeding and I don’t see it ending.“

[cryinggmysoulout]

„It has been a while to listen to my mind, I guess it has been a while to actually be alive.“

[riidethebigsouls]

i want a soft connection. i want to be asked how my day went and if i need anything. i want forehead kisses. i want the back of my hand kissed at red lights. i want to be asked how i’m mentally feeling. i want to hold hands everywhere we go.

[cryinggmysoulout]

And I have this and I’m so grateful.

[gracefullyinkful]

“I never thought that I’d have this. You know, this kind of love that burns from the inside out. This missing you when you’re in front of me because I know you’re leaving soon love. This wearing your clothes when you aren’t around love. This security in knowing that we’ve chosen each other love. This bring you to your knees and make you scream out of frustration kind of love. This aching to be with you at all hours of the day kind of love. And now that I have it, I’m not entirely sure what the hell I’m supposed to do with it.”

— h.g // honeymoon phase #1

[apocryphics]

Susan Sontag

[top-secret-suicide]

[sa-dnesss]

[brainmushblog]

Something that people don't talk about enough is that when you're raised to be mature from a young age, your parents just become any other figure in your life and even if you have a seemingly peaceful relationship with them, there's absolutely no comfort you can find under their shade. You'll never get to be immature and childish and helpless with them because that dynamic was never set in the first place and all the validation you ever had from them was from parentification.

So even at your worst moments in life, you will be left alone with no place to seek refuge and you'll have to constantly find it in yourself to be strong enough to deal with everything alone.

[gaynorexic-posts]

I am at the point where i don't even know how i'm doing.

Who am i?

I'm a hole, i'm a void.

I don't know how to describe it.

I decided to give life another chance, after 18 years of pure suffering and pain. I don't want to give up, yet every part of me is crying, dieing, bleeding, yearning for someone who would just sit there, hold my hand, listen. I don't allow myself more suicide attempts. I wanna LIVE. And i know it's possible. But i feel like i won't make it. Everything hurts. Every part of me wants to give up, except me. I know i'm irrational. Why can't there be someone that understands. That understands the pain without being in it. That listens without trying to fix it. Please. I'm begging for help, screaming under water while everyone's breathing. Suffocating. I don't expect anyone to read this, this is just for me to vent. I hope none of you goes through the same life i went through every forsaken day of the past 2 decades. This is hell. This is something nobody deserves. Seek help as long as you can. Don't wait until it's too late, don't wait until you are at this point where happiness is a suspicious, unrealistic and unreal feeling, or whatever, i rlly can't describe it. Just get out of this as soon as possible. This is your sign. Please...