my ducks? in a row. the elephant? addressed. my goose? cooked. my eggs? in several baskets. the bigger fish? fried.
Your monkeys ?
those aren’t mine.

Janaina Medeiros

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Origami Around

shark vs the universe
d e v o n

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JVL
Sade Olutola
One Nice Bug Per Day
we're not kids anymore.

Love Begins
Cosimo Galluzzi
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Three Goblin Art
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

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Xuebing Du
Misplaced Lens Cap
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@curiousdevice
my ducks? in a row. the elephant? addressed. my goose? cooked. my eggs? in several baskets. the bigger fish? fried.
Your monkeys ?
those aren’t mine.
“Ghosts are real” I can see how you could believe that
“Ghosts aren’t real” it’s very fair and rational that you believe that
“Ghosts aren’t real anymore” I’m about to hear a poem or very sad story
“Ghosts aren’t real yet” the fuck are you going to do
I think they should make the boner pills in pink instead of blue just to see if cishet men can handle it
it would be fun if an angel and a vampire were friends i think
vampire: ugh, you mortals simply can't comprehend the timescale i live on. i've watched your empires rise and fall, your cities crumble to dust. i find your short little lives amusing at best. i -
angel: HI, I HAVE BEEN ALIVE SINCE THE DAWN OF TIME AND I NOTICED YOU ARE ALSO SOMEWHAT OLD?
vampire: ...sure. hey what was the dawn of time like?
angel: PRETTY BORING ACTUALLY. NOTHING ELSE EXISTED YET.
vampire: oh, man, i feel you. i slept through, like, the entire 14th century it was so boring. everyone was dying of plague and shit anyway so i didn't miss much.
vampire: hey i am outside your apartment
angel: YOU'VE JUST BEEN STANDING THERE? FOR HOW LONG?
vampire: uhhhhhhh a mere speck in comparison to our immortal lives so don't worry about it honestly. i need you to invite me in though.
angel: OF COURSE, I'M SO SORRY. PLEASE COME IN.
vampire: *steps over the threshold and immediately starts hissing and coughing like a cat with a bad hairball*
angel: OH, I'M SO SORRY. MY APARTMENT IS CONSIDERED HOLY GROUND BECAUSE I LIVE IN IT. I SHOULD HAVE WARNED YOU.
vampire: *coughing* it's fine. do you - *cough* *wheeze* what are your thoughts on chinese? i know a great place just a couple of blocks from here
everyone replying to this with "and they were lovers"? target audience
I think Tumblr will love this
For the love of GOD turn the volume on
every day someone thinks of an art form no one did before
You guys call anything Catholic just because it's christian and vibesy. "oh he's southern and makes me feel bad about myself" girl that's a baptist
only valid tag on this so far
It's crazy how many people use Death of the Author to mean "separating the art from the artist" when it's actually not supposed to have anything to do with who the author is as a person and is supposed to be about the idea that the author's interpretation of their own work should not be seen as the definitive, correct opinion on that work. Like you're not supposed to invoke Death of the Author when JK Rowling devotes her entire life and fortune to transphobia, you're supposed to invoke it when Trent Reznor says Closer by Nine Inch Nails isn't a sex song.
Humans being such a social species that, to aliens, it sometimes comes across as a hivemind.
Humans are attention seeking by nature. Attention is sought after because there is historically safety in numbers, so humans are naturally inclined to mimic the behaviours of others in order to subconsciously identify ‘hey, look! I do as you do just like the rest of your group so you can trust that I am not dangerous. Can I be a part of this group??’ and the other human sees this and says ‘Ah yes, another one who does as we do so they must be safe, come sit with us’.
Aliens see humans copying each other’s behaviour so fluidly that it almost comes off as creepy. It’s even creepier when humans mimic THEIR actions, too. Like, no, do not rope me into your mind melding species cult, please and thank you.
Even to the modern day, this intensely social instinct is still alive and well, as humans will unconsciously mimic positive actions of others even when they don’t understand the context. For example, clapping.
An alien and a human are sitting having a conversation when suddenly hoots and hollers and the clapping of hands erupt from across the room. Immediately, much to the alien’s surprise, the human starts clapping too as they look around trying to see what is happening.
The reaction was so immediate that the alien is taken aback by it before remembering that humans were known to be strangely in tune with each other compared to other species so they just wait it out.
Once it dies down, the alien asks
“So, what was that about?”
“No idea.”
“But you…joined in. You didn’t know what you were celebrating??”
“Well, no, but I don’t explicitly have to know what’s going on to guess that it’s something good and join in. It would feel a bit rude if I didn’t clap.”
And the alien just sits there like ‘It’s NOT a hivemind???’ strangely, that’s somehow worse than if it was.
Honestly, the least horrifying thing the socket full of eggs could have become
someone has probably made this joke already but
that meme about female characters giving a male character period cramps, except the male character is a trans man and doesnt even flinch
someone might have made the joke... but have they made a comic?
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Both of these tags are right. I love when a cat will just put up with your silly human games. They love you and know you love them and are just happy with you.
Happy pride sleepy dykes
When I was a little kid, if I needed a nap, my parents would try and find ways to discreetly or sneakily immobilize me for about 5 minutes, since I am like a shark and if I stop moving long enough I will fall asleep. They told my wife about this a few years ago and now she uses my dad’s favorite strategy of getting my to sleep. My dad’s approach to immobilizing me was to ask for snuggles for a few minutes so HE could go to sleep. As a kid my dad liked napping about as much as he liked unanesthetized dental work but I was such a daddy’s girl that I couldn’t say “no” to a request for snuggles. He always framed it as “I’m just so tired and need some snuggles to fall asleep, can you snuggle me?” And I’d be like “aww, I love you, of course I can snuggle you while you fall asleep!” and I’d wake up 2 hours later all well-rested and confused because I wasn’t tiredddd
And now anytime my wife thinks I’m fighting the urge to nap, or thinks I am sleep deprived and cranky, she’ll ask if I can be the little spoon for her so she can sleep. And every time she asks, I say “aww, I love you, of course I can snuggle you while you fall asleep!” and I wake up two hours later all well-rested and confused because I wasn’t tireddddd.
This was a technique my father pioneered when I was about 3-4 years old and implemented with me at least once a week, and now at almost 31-years-old it still works just as good and I still never see it coming.
Hold up bc this is SO cute omggg
not to be all "these two words will change your life" or whatever, but I promise you, programming in "good catch!" as your response to people correcting you/pointing out errors or whatever removes so much friction from interactions, and comes with a delightful happy meal toy of "not hating yourself so much for making mistakes"
I use "I stand corrected" a lot. The mild silliness of the outdated language makes it work for me.
I had a high school science teacher who would say "if you admit you're wrong and change your mind..." and the whole class would respond back "... you aren't wrong anymore!"
And when a kid would assert something incorrect In class, he wouldn't tell them they were wrong, he would help lead them to the right answer and then when they admitted/ accepted the new information, he'd say "now we're both right! Nice work!"
For a bunch of gifted kids whose identity and reputation often was staked on knowing more than most people, it was a great safety valve. No shame in making a mistake, because if you accept it you have learned! Now you are smarter! It always made me feel better.
On all levels except the most literal I am the librarian in this story
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me when my disabilities disable me: