I Just Need Like … 3 Minutes

[ryan-sometimes]

As an autistic/adhd person going through the job search process I’ve learned to phrase my autistic/adhd traits as corporate friendly things. Here’s some examples:

I have trouble reading between the lines and picking up on implicit information? Actually, I’ve learned the importance of giving and receiving precise, specific instructions in order to avoid time consuming miscommunications.

I’m easily bored with only one task? Actually, I have a curious mind and thrive in places with a wide range of tasks as I prefer dynamic environments where I can contribute to many projects.

I have trouble with white lies that are merely social niceties? Actually, I prioritize a transparent work environment where we can tackle issues head-on.

This way I don’t have to lie, but rather just spin my truth in a way that’s palatable to them.

[daddydampbread]

Bruce is definitely the kind of dad that if one of his kids ever invited him out to line dancing he would totally case the place and go a few days early to watch which dances are popular at the given establishment and practice them to perfection days before they actually go. He would totally be dishing out trivia that he learn specifically for this event. Just so over the top.

[ashrayus]

soo my friend asked for jason fic recs today and i made a list (too long! for what!!!) but might as well share it with u guys too so they can get some love maybe ^_^

some bruce&jason and dick&jason and batfam and jim gordon andd jason lets go!!

Bruce and jason:

Really good after the recent issue XD the next two are the same writer i just love it https://archiveofourown.org/works/56374990

https://archiveofourown.org/works/47910520?view_adult=true

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49628566

Comforting Bruce :) https://archiveofourown.org/works/15059693

AU! Very interesting https://archiveofourown.org/works/46348951?view_adult=true

Dick and jason:

Identity reveal!!! Crazy bc of this https://archiveofourown.org/works/55670443?view_adult=true

Robin to red hood jason (and nightwing)! One of the favs :)) https://archiveofourown.org/works/50454142/chapters/127479355

Another fav!! Theres a line in this that i still cant get out of my head https://archiveofourown.org/works/51592174

Cried!!!!! Love this sm https://archiveofourown.org/works/41337654

Dick centered SUCH. A good jason. Murdered me https://archiveofourown.org/works/53898520

Casual!! Very good dialogue https://archiveofourown.org/works/48957529

One of the first fics i read my bar started high bc of this XD its sad !! https://archiveofourown.org/works/50058298

Pre-red hood reveal VERY fun i adore this https://archiveofourown.org/works/47605033

kinda depressing but very nice https://archiveofourown.org/works/36039820

Dick centered. jason is Good https://archiveofourown.org/works/39360381

Really good dialogue! Gets into jasons batarang scar https://archiveofourown.org/works/47224417/chapters/118989448

Dick centered very cute robin jason https://archiveofourown.org/works/37057612

older brother jason?!! :’) https://archiveofourown.org/works/55415734/chapters/140605297

Sad! Open ending https://archiveofourown.org/works/50579647

Really nicely written i love reveals https://archiveofourown.org/works/8593255

Fflufff!!!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/48409618

Jason dies but doesnt kinda fics ft. batfam (both incredibly sad!!!! but happy ending) ⬇️

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43926393

https://archiveofourown.org/works/51749833/chapters/130829599

Honorable mention my fav fic from when i was into dc a couple years ago

https://archiveofourown.org/works/8113246

Jim gordon and jason!! Loved it so much https://archiveofourown.org/works/12803736

[daddydampbread]

A little Timmy doodle I did now that I’m getting back into drawing 😘

[nothatsmi]

Guys. I've done it.

The animatic is finally here!!!! YAhooo!!

I really hope you like it. Took me something like two/three weeks on top of an insane amount of work, I don't know how I managed both-

If you want you can (re)watch it on Youtube! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mki1Vl3ylMM (yes this is self promotion)

[maccreadysbaby]

A Hundred Days to Become a Wayne

batfamily + oc insert

tw: abuse

wanna read more? here’s the table of contents!

part one

❝ PERFECTION ❞

TUESDAY — 10:56PM

THE QUIET MELODY OF FAKE LAUGHTER BUBBLED AND ECHOED THROUGH THE HALLS OF WHITTAKER ESTATE. It had long grown dark across the city of Drew, and the curtains of the downstairs sitting room had been pulled shut, as to keep their guests from taking notice of the exorbitant amount of time they’d spent gabbing about business with Bentley’s father.

The classically furnished room looked like one from Jane Eyre or The Great Gatspy — with intricate curtains and rugs, velvet furniture, deep mahogany walls and a crackling, real wood fireplace that was providing most of the dim light. The massive wooden doors had been clicked shut hours ago. 

Bentley’s father was perched professionally on a velvet chair that sat cockeyed toward the fireplace, swirling a small glass of amber liquid in his hand as he chuckled with his business associates. A man and woman — Bentley couldn’t tell if they were husband and wife or not — sat on an old loveseat across from his father with glasses of crimson wine. Both men in the room were dawning suits, complete with blazers and dress shoes, and the woman was wearing a tight red dress. 

The man had been doing most of the talking. The woman was more preoccupied with the small, ugly dog she had sticking out of her giant black purse that Bentley had seen his father wrinkle his nose at at least a dozen times. She kept patting it and kissing it and mumbling incoherently to it. The child was seriously surprised her deep red lipstick was still on her and not the dog.

Speaking of, the nine-year-old, Bentley, was seated on a little couch behind his father that was pressed against the wall. He was still in the sightline of the visitors, because having a son made his father’s image better (or something like that) and that’s where he was told to stay. He was wearing a white button up and dress pants just as his father had ordered, and his usually unruly, deep red waves were slicked back on his head by a hardy concoction of water, gel, and willpower. One of which was beginning to dwindle a little quicker than the others.

The clock above the fireplace indicated that they’d been speaking in the room for just shy of five hours. It was nearing eleven o’clock at night. His father had informed him beforehand that they’d be in that room until he closed the business deal they were coming for, which, at the pace it was going now, could last another five hours if they wanted it to. 

Bentley had spent most of those five hours staring at the woman and her funny looking little dog. He guessed it was a chihuahua, but it had a tuft of hair on its head that made it look more like a scraggly rat. And with the odd, rich-people hairdo the woman was sporting, they actually didn’t look too different.

But eventually, even that grew boring. Bentley would be lying if he said that he wasn’t both tired and marginally starving by now. Fortunately, the fireplace and conversation were loud enough to cover any protests his stomach was making from not eating since seven that morning. But unfortunately, no amount of crackle from the fireplace or mindless chatter could hide the fact that his eyelids were growing heavy. He’d stifled many yawns so far, probably a dozen, and he couldn’t help but wonder now much longer he’d have to sit there.

You stay right there until the meetings over, his father’s voice echoed in his head. He didn’t dare move or interrupt like he had last time.

He’d already made the mistake of interrupting a meeting a couple weeks ago — he felt really sick, and his natural response was to tell his father.

Alright. Let’s go to your room, I’ll return shortly — was what his father said in front of the associates.

But — can’t you see I’m doing more important things, Bentley? If you really are sick, stay away from me. And don’t you dare throw up anywhere but a bathroom — was what he said out of their earshot. Bentley spent four days sick by himself.

So this time, he was not going to make a mistake.

He’d been sitting up all straight and nice for… some of the meeting. The people weren’t paying much attention to him, so he let his posture slack a little over time. And it had been slacking and slacking until now, his knees were pulled up to his chest and his chin was resting on them. His father’s rule of no shoes on the furniture hadn’t slipped his mind, however, so his dress shoes were sitting nicely in the floor where he’d taken them off.

By the time the clock struck eleven, the room was fading in and out of blackness as sleep threatened to take him. It wasn’t the most uncomfortable position he’d ever slept in. In fact, it was just comfortable enough to coax him into the light slumber that had been taunting him for the past hour and a half.

But thankfully, his sleep was light enough for his ears to perk when the woman chuckled sweetly. “Aw, John… looks like your little helper got a bit sleepy. How sweet is that?” She cooed.

Ah, shoot. Bentley’s eyes snapped open, and he unraveled himself and slid his feet back into his shoes as quickly as he could, albeit being a bit disoriented from sleep. It wasn’t fast enough, though, because his father’s head had swiveled like that of an owl, and he was already scowling deeply at the boy.

“It seems as though he has,” He said in a level tone, despite his face remaining in an irritated, unamused state. “Let me take him up to bed.”

Bentley internally winced. He should’ve tried harder to stay awake. He was so stupid.

His father put his glass down and approached the couch, and Bentley had to use all his willpower not to shrink away. The man stopped ahead of him with nothing more than mere disdain painted on his features, but he reached out and gathered the nine-year-old up in his arms anyways.

It was nice. Or it would’ve been, if Bentley wasn’t afraid of what was coming next. For a moment, anyway, he was able to wrap his arms around his father’s neck and lay his head on his shoulder, to let him carry him out of the room and through the hallways of the estate and pretend everything was fine.

But as soon as they were out of earshot of his father’s company and in a dark hallway across the house, he dropped — yes, actually dropped — Bentley on the hardwood floor. The child made a loud thud, and a soft, tired whimper escaped him. Pain blossomed across his back and he fought the urge to cough from having the wind knocked out of him.

“Get up,” His father ordered sternly. Bentley pulled himself off the floor without a word. 

“How many times do we have to talk about you not embarrassing me during meetings? It’s always something with you. You’re tired, you’re hungry, you don’t feel good,” The man growled, and Bentley winced away from him, staring at the floor.

“I’m sorry,” He whispered, nearly inaudibly, bringing his hands up to wrap around his middle as some vague form of comfort. “I was really tired.”

He jumped when his father’s hand came in harsh contact with his face with a shrill thwack, staggering back a few steps. “Yeah? Well I’m really tired of your excuses.”

Bentley’s hand drifted up to his stinging cheek, and he only let his deep brown eyes flick up to the angry man for a split second. Then he stared at the floor again. “I’m sorry.”

His father moved toward him, and Bentley flinched away, but it didn’t stop him from latching onto the boy’s arm. “Come on.”

He was pulling Bentley behind him so quickly that he couldn’t seem to get his feet under him, and he stumbled around the corner into another dark hallway with an infamous white door at the end. There was a lock on the outside.

“No! Father, please… I promise I won’t do it again. I promise. Please don’t-“ Bentley pulled against his father’s grip, but that only got him jerked violently ahead, and his father’s grip tightened until it hurt.

“Quiet,” The man growled. He pulled the white door open as soon as they reached it, and he shoved Bentley inside without reproach. He slammed into the hard floor again, but his father showed no signs of regret. “If you can sleep during my meetings, you can sleep in here.”

His father shut and locked the door, leaving Bentley in a sea of pitch blackness.

“No! Father, please!” He lunged for the door when fear crashed over him like a tidal wave, frantically twisting the knob to no avail. His heart was pounding in his ears, and his breaths were growing short and quick. His eyes were darting everywhere but he couldn’t see. He couldn’t see.

He knew the room was only four-by-four, a small, empty utility closet. But he was still afraid of the dark.

“Father! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

After a few fruitless minutes of fighting with the knob, Bentley gave up, curling up in a little, trembling ball against the door. He flinched at the sound of something closing somewhere, then again when the house creaked, and again and again every time a new noise came. It was dark, and he was tired, and he was hungry, but he wasn’t going to sleep — he couldn’t sleep. Because then the monsters in the dark would come get him.

He wouldn’t be let out until sunrise, if he was lucky.

—

dedicating this story to @sassenashsworld, who encouraged me to post it! 💛

[snaileer]

Everyone Loves a 2-for-1 Sale Part 3

Part 1 & 2 (And original Prompt)

The dining room was suspiciously quiet for a Wayne breakfast when Danny walked in.

He glanced up from his phone, pulling one earbud out, “Oh feel free to continue arguing my morality like I’m an object, my music’s on full volume.”

Dick looked uncomfortable, “We weren’t-Look, Ti- Danny, we are just a bit curious as to why you’re…. here,” Dick finished, glancing at the others like asking if they’d share the plate of batguilt-fries with him.

“Surely the world could have done without a second Drake,” Damian cut in before Danny could even start.

“And we could have done without even one of you, yet here you are,” Danny glared, “Factory defects and all.”

Damian jerked upwards with a raised knife, narrowly pushed back down by Dick.

Danny rolled his eyes, turning his attention back to his phone-Tim’s phone-their phone. He held a folded paper out to Bruce with two fingers, still typing, “I have a list, if you want it.”

He continued typing as they opening the note and read it, he knew what it said.

To Do in Gotham:

1. Get to Gotham

2. Find original - don’t freak family out

3. -Find- Talk to Bruce

4. Convince Vicki Vale that Tim is/ actually engaged to Tam Fox

5. Get safe house

6. New identity? (what do clones do? - ask Connor)

7.

8.

9. Leave?

“What’s number seven and eight?” Dick asked, and Danny actively made sure his typing pattern didn’t change.

“Don’t know yet,” He answered with a shrug, the picture of nonchalance. Bruce probably didn’t believe him.

Didn’t matter. Dick did. Because Dick felt guilty.

Bat guilty.

About time he believed him about something.

And Danny didn’t care about Damian’s opinions one way or another.

He stepped away from the table, plopping another grape in his mouth as he walked past, “Welp that’s it for me, busy day, fake engagement, gotta find some crutches because I don’t think Vicki will accept my ‘you got new legs Lieutenant Dan-ny’ joke, all that,”

Danny slipped out the door past a sleep-deprived Tim with a jaunty salute, “All’s well in Clone Town!”

Danny kept walking, his brain running miles ahead of him, Ted Tobin steering the wheel with his fingers on the keypad of his phone as he moved forward and mentally filled in the list.

Number 7: Find Ra’s Al Ghul and the Lazarus pits.

Number 8: Stabilize yourself.

Danny continued up the stairs. He had people to see and rings to buy. Busy is the life of a saboteur.

—

Red Robin watched his clone linger in the jeweler’s store, trying to keep the frown from taking over his whole face.

He was making Tim’s life difficult. Tim suspected it was on purpose.

Largely because people would ask way too many questions if two Tim Drakes showed up in Gotham at the same time.

Hence, Red Robin being relegated to rooftop surveillance.

He turned his attention back to the clone, watching as he left the shop and turned down the street. Red Robin swept after him, following from above.

The clone remained focused on his phone- which was also Tim’s by the way, and stolen- as he walked down the street, turning into an alley without even looking up.

Tim tilted his head and swung to the rooftop, peering into the darkness.

“You could always just come down and actually talk to me, you know?”

Tim dropped into the alley, unsurprised to come face to face with the clone. It was weird to see his own face look so annoyed by him.

“Thought it was best to stay out of sight. We’re not exactly a daylight hero.”

Danny rolled his eyes, “Already annoyed with Vicki Vale?”

Tim nearly growled, “That is your fault,”

“Oh come on, you can’t tell me it’s not hilarious.”

“You’ve spent all morning in ring shops! I have meetings!”

“Lucius can handle them. It’s not like we actually did anything this last year anyways.”

Tim stared at him for a second, confusion in the squint of his eyes and laced with suspicion.

Danny groaned with a roll of his eyes, “Fine, you want me to stay put somewhere so you can do your civilian thing?”

“Yes.”

“I am not staying in the manor. You can’t make me.”

Dread filled him as Tim smiled, “Not a problem.”

Danny glared at Tim standing arms wide in the center of the room of his emptiest safe house, “This is so not what I meant and you know it.”

Tim’s face betrayed nothing, “Look, none of us are happy with this situation-“

Danny scoffed. Understatement of the century.

“But..” Tim continued with a pointed look, “It’s my fault, and I get that. So…compromise? You stay here, work on cold cases while I sort out my current job, and when I’m done, we’ll figure out what to do, okay?”

Danny sighed, feeling Ted Tobin stir to life with plans already forming.

“Fine.”

Tim nodded succinctly, reaching for a laptop and multiple cords, “Ok, here’s my old computer, -huh, I could have sworn that had a different charger- anyways- I’ll take this,” he plucks the phone from Danny’s hands in one smooth motion, giving a mocking smile in return to Danny’s glare, “Thank you very much, now I just have to-and find the guy who…”

Tim’s voice tapers off into mumbles as he heads into the bedroom to peel off his suit, fingers focused on the keypad of his newly reacquired phone.

Danny slumps himself down on the secondhand couch, dust echoing around him. This was fine, he could do stuff in the meanwhile, maybe help Tim with his case -or solve it himself, he bets he could- and then finish the new specs for the suit wings that Danny’s suit still didn’t have.

Tim fumbled through the doorway, now in civilian clothes, already on a call with Lucius probably, or Tam. Tam helped him a lot.

Danny slouched further into the silence.

It felt like being left behind by his parents.

They had bigger priorities.

Archaeology.

Ghosts.

Danny shook his head, opening the computer and letting Ted Tobin fish through the passwords for case files.

He’s nearly 3 hours deep when he really pauses for the first time, finally stopping the continuous notes sitting next him, each a different clue. Most for different cases.

The current case pulled up on his screen scratches at him, facts slotting into place with rapid fire precision.

The officer assigned to the case is a vet.

The case is perpetrated by a senatorial candidate.

The officer assigned served on three active fronts and 2 undisclosed.

The guilty candidate is running support for a bill cutting veteran supports.

Best of all?

It’s not in Gotham.

Danny smiles as Ted Tobin’s plan fills in, piece by piece.

—

Ra’s Al Ghul should really make it harder to hack into his confidential back market mercenary dealings.

Then again, maybe it was for the better. How else would he make sure Red Robin was able to intercept the assassin in time to save that poor officer’s life the night before his case-closing arrest?

—

“Detective, I assumed holding my business outside of Gotham would keep it from being the concern of you and yours,” Ra’s’ voice is muffled through the bag over his head, “It seems I was wrong.”

“Oh well, you know me…,” The bag is ripped roughly off his head, leaving him blinking rapidly against the light even as he smirks, “Always butting into things when I shouldn’t. It’s kind of what we do.”

“Tell me, Timothy,” Ra’s says, turning his back to him once more, as he waves his ninjas away, “What does this officer matter to you, more than a state away from your usual stomping grounds? What-“ Ra’s pauses as a different ninja approaches him to whisper in his ear. His body stills.

“Well, we’ll start there. First of all, as I’m sure you just found out, I’m not Timothy,” Danny says, standing up smoothly. He relishes the look Ra’s gives him as he turns around. “And secondly, the officer wasn’t what mattered. Getting you here on the other hand. Now that.. that takes a little more planning.” Danny brushes himself off, removing the cowl to leave just his own domino behind.

Ra’s al Ghul hums, his eyebrow twitching up even as his eyes narrow in suspicion.

“What? No sudden desire to stab? No impromptu attempt to put a sword through my chest?”

“You are curious. So much like the detective, and yet… my people tell me he is currently patrolling in Gotham with the Grayson boy.”

Danny scoffs, “Oh great, another fruit loop interested in me, like I need a new one of those.”

Ra’s’ stare doesn’t change. Albeit a bit more annoyed, but still flat and calm.

“You wanna know what makes me different from Timothy, Ra’s?” Danny pauses, taking a deep breath and letting the ectoplasm ripple inside him for the first time in months. “The difference between me and him,” When he looks up he know his eyes glow fluorescent green, “Is that I’m stronger.”

—

Bonus Scene:

Dick stared at Tim’s clone as he left, sweeping past the original’s bleary form stumbling to the coffee machine.

“Are we sure he’s Drake’s/ clone? He seems… less of a fool,” Damian sneered, watching Tim stand listlessly in front of the cabinet, coffeemaker off, and tablet in hand.

He looked out of the Dining room doors, spotting Danny standing not far away in front of one of the closets by the stairs rather than the actual steps, fingers tapping away.

Damian turned back to his breakfast, “I retract my statement. Clearly his stupidity was simply blinding.”

[daddydampbread]

Tim is the kind of asshole who would jump head first into a situation with at 5% survival rate and say “later skater”

[jtl-fics]

Math Nerd AU Masterpost

I’ll do my best to update this masterpost with the snippets / headcanons / asks about the Math Nerd AU

Math Nerd Tag on my Blog: Here

Initial Plot Synopsis: Here

Riko in Math Nerd AU: Here

Recruiting Neil: 1 2 3

Math Nerd AU! Ichirou Moriyama and Neil : Here

Alex and Andrew: 1 2

How is he a Fox: 1 2

Neil’s Work: 1 2

Kathy Ferdinand’s Show: 1 2

Neil & Riko’s Talk after the Ferdinand Show: 1 2

Ichirou and Neil Convo at Court: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Neil’s Mysterious S.O.: 1 2

Andrew asks about Neil’s S.O. (Round 1): 1 2 3 4 5 6

Andrew asks about Neil’s S.O. (Round 2): 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Ichirou and Andrew on Neil’s S.O. (1 2

The Foxes find out about Neil’s Winter Break Plans (1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11)

Andrew’s Mental State (After Neil’s Death): Here

Andrew has a revelation (1 2 3 4 5 6

Andrew’s Mental State (After he comes back): Here

EXTRA: 1 2

[flamingpudding]

Part 4 of Ghost Kid in Gotham

<<1 Previous Next

How to catch a baby brother

Richard 'Dick' Greyson had a problem. It wasn't a nuclear level of problem but it also wasn't a paper cut level of problem either. Because apparently he had a baby brother no one in their family but Damien knew about. Granted Damien had confessed that said baby brother was dead and had supposedly died eight years ago.

The explanation that Talia had apparently pulled another Jason was not helpful at all. According to Damien, in response to Tims findings, there was no other way for the twin to be alive other than Talia having preserved his body and then decided after eight years to drop it into the pits. Well lets just say his opinion on that woman if it was already down in the depth it certainly was now.

Which, considering the glowing Lazarus green eyes, could mean that there was now an eight years old child running loose in the Bat Cave with Pit Madness. Not just a simple feral eight years old that looked like perfect B adoption material and so happened to be blood related.

"Guys we need a plan. We can't just let our little teethling run loose."

"Richard, do not refer to my brother as little teethling." Dick only grinned. "Well the little biter needs a nickname and until I find something else fitting its teethling. Or do you have a better suggestion?"

Sweet little Baby Bird was now glowering at him. Oh protective were we, his little brothers definitely were the cutest. He was definitely going to tease sweet little Dami about this later once the first phase of new little brother crisis was over. For now they had to find the little guy first. The Cave wasn't exactly childproof.

"Let's use Jason as bait." Tim suddenly suggested causing the second oldest to grimace. "The little guy apparently likes biting him. We could use that as an advantage."

"Absolutely fucking not." Little Wing disagreed and Dick chuckled in good humor.

"Aw come on Little Wing, this is your chance to make a bond with our new baby before any of us can."

"For once I agree with Todd. Absolutely not, who knows where he has been. I will not have my brother become sick from biting him." He would have cooed at this, if Jason's face change from surprise at the agreement to a purely offended scowl wasn't so funny.

"Okay no biting bait. But we gotta draw out the little guy and calm his Pit Rage." If that feralness the kid displayed had even anything to do with Pit Rage.Considering the glowing eyes though he would think so. Dick eyed Jasons for a moment, he didn't seem to be affected at all nor had he said anything about the Pit being upset or feeling anything strange. So maybe the little guy wasn't suffering to an extrem from it? But he had apparently been brought back by a Lazarus Pit, so the likelihood with their experiences so far was slim.

"Well we gotta find a way to secure the little guy before B comes back or Alfie finds out." Jason mentioned still scowling at Damien. "By the way, I want to be here when you guys tell B about this. I wanna see his face and make fucking sure the little biter won't be turned into another kid soldier."

"Jason." He scowled, this was definitely not the right time for that sort of discussion but he had a point, they needed to find little… what had Damien said his name was? Wait did Damien even tell them the little guy's name? They all had just been using nicknames so far.

"Dami, what's the little teethling's name again?"

"I haven't told you yet." Ah okay so he didn't have a hole in his memory. "It's Danyal, but when we were younger he didn't like the way grandfather and our teachers called his name and insisted on being called informally as Danny."

"Okay right, so we better find little Danny and get everyone together to introduce-"

"Might I ask who this 'little Danny' is, Master Dick?"

He did not scream. But his heart rate shot up with Alfred just appearing behind him like that. Really sometimes Alfred could be as bad as Cass in the ways of sneaking up on people without them knowing.

"Alfred, hey hi what are you doing down here?" He was not nervous, no he wasn't. The way the butler narrowed his eyes at him did definitely not scare him at all, nope.

"I was informed that all of you returned uninjured." Though his eyes narrowed at Jason's hand that got cut earlier and his brother instantly tried to hide it behind his back when he noticed Alfreds eyes on him. "But the four of you, despite having returned to the Cave, have not come up yet. So I was merely checking on you, to make sure nothing was wrong after all."

He gulped. Really there was no way of ever hiding anything from Alfred.

"Jason brought a child to the Cave that we found out is Damien's twin that had died eight years ago but was brought back to life and is now feral and hiding somewhere in the cave."

At least it was Timber that blurred out everything they knew so far.

"His name is Danyal." Baby Bird added and the four of them waited for Alfred's reaction.

"I see. I will go prepare one of the rooms then and inform Master Bruce to return sooner from his meeting with the Justice League then. As well as prepare for a family dinner as soon as possible, I assume. Will my help be needed in finding young Master Danyal?"

"No worries Alfie, I think I have an idea on how to draw out the little shiiii-biter. You made cookies, right?" Jason at the last minute corrected his words because of the look and Dick couldn't help but snicker.

"I indeed did. If my help is not required then I will be on my way."

Giving them all one last look over, the Butler smiled before he turned to leave. Dick, Tim and Jason let out a sigh in relief once Alfred had left again to which Damien only eyed them strangely.

A little while later Jason went to get the cookies and came back with the plate and staring at a green post-it note. "Since when does Alfie stick green post-it notes with cryptic shit on plates?"

"What?" His brother only shrugged offering the note to him. Tim was looking over his shoulder at it and the two stared at the strange writing.

"I think Cass or Steph might be pulling a prank on us? These look just like random squiggles."

"Let's leave this for later and look for the little teethling." He passed the note to Tim, noticing the curiosity in his eyes. Oh boy, he probably should make sure his little brother gets some sleep instead of trying to encrypt whatever was written on that little note all night.

"Now everyone lets take a cookie, resist eating it and go hunt down our little teethling."

Damien narrowed his eyes on him. "I told you to stop calling Danyal that." The little baby bird still took a cookie though and marched away into the bat cave. They had separated wandering through the Bat Cave trying to cover as much ground as possible and by this point Dick was ready to call for Cass to join them, maybe even wake up Duke just so they would finally find the little kid.

That was until a familiar yowl of pain resounded in the Cave. The direction made Dicks stomach sink once he remembered just what was in the Cave in this direction. "Jason!"

Once he arrived there he feared for the worst. Jason avoided the area, because B had placed their Lazarus Pit there and his brother had often said that it was one of the reasons he didn't like coming to the Cave that much anymore let alone into this area of the Cave. To hear his brothers shout of pain from that area couldn't mean anything good.

Well that was until he got to the scene. Dick didn't know how long he stood there frozen but at some point he knew he took out his phone to take some photos of what was happening. Tim was already laughing and Dick was pretty sure that Babs was most likely recording this with one of the many cameras B had in the Cave.

Jason lay with his back on the ground, with one hand his brother was still holding the cookie waving it desperately before Danny's face who was biting down on the other arm sitting on the downed vigilante's chest. Little hands gripping onto the arm in an attempt to make sure no one was taking his chewtoy away from him. Meanwhile Damien was trying to lift the little biter off Jason by holding him with his hands under the kids armpits.

"You little shit! FUCK! Come on, here is the cookie! Take the fucking cookie! OUCH FUCKING HELL! How is he resisting Alfies cookies!"

"Danyal, No! You do not know where Todd was or how dirty he is. Let go of his arm this instant. We do not want you to get sick!"

"Hey!"

This was gold, Dick decided, and would go straight to the black mail as well as family memories folder.

[gffa]

You would think, after a month of voracious reading of BATFAMILY fic, that I would at least begin to slow down, because I still primarily read I’m Having Dick Grayson Feelings And I’m Making That Everyone Else’s Problem, but I have also discovered that I have Jason feelings, I have Tim feelings, and I have Damian feelings. Which of course I knew before, but what I really learned is that other people have made this my problem now, too. And by that I mean that there’s amazing fic on all of the Bat babies and I am not immune. So, you may still have to scroll a bit, but if there’s an idiot badass with black hair and blue eyes, you’ll hopefully find something here to cry about with me, because what are any of us even in this fandom for, if not for the Feelings Hell About Vigilantes With Emotional Problems? BATFAM FIC RECS - BABY DICK IS THE CUTEST FERAL ROBIN I’M NOT HEARING ANY ARGUMENTS: ✦ it is with my whole life by dustorange, dick & bruce, 2.2k      Nine-year-old Dick’s been kidnapped. Bruce tries not to fall apart. ✦ World’s Finest: Lake Weekend by WingFeathers, dick & bruce & clark (& clark/bruce), 10.3k      Bruce and Dick invite Clark to the lakehouse for a long weekend around Rosh Hashanah, but Dick has trouble sleeping outside the Manor, and Bruce isn’t as available as he should be. And all of this brings up a question: what exactly are the three of them, a bat-vigilante and his ward and his superhero boyfriend? Could they be something like a family? (And how will they eat with Alfred not taking care of them?) ✦ Revision by takadainmate, dick & bruce, 3.8k      New to Bruce Wayne, new to being Robin, new to being alone, Dick didn’t believe there would ever be anyone there for him again. ✦ count the stars by emavee, dick & bruce, 3.7k      He doesn’t know what to do. It’s not like he can stop the storm. If he could wave a magic wand and make the sky clear—or even if he could call up someone from his large contact list full of metas who could control the weather—he would. He would honestly disrupt Gotham’s weather patterns if it meant Dick would stop crying. Or: Dick doesn’t like thunderstorms, so Bruce takes him somewhere where they can’t touch him. ✦ cautionary tale by drakefeathers, dick & bruce & young justice, 11.4k      Q: “Why did Queen Bee want Robin taken in alive in Bereft?” A: “Think of Speedy as a cautionary tale.” ✦ batman & robin by chickenmuffinsoup55555, dick & bruce, 4.8k      The Batman has a shadow. A shadow clad in reds and greens with a smile like sunshine. Bruce is adjusting. ✦ five times someone told Bruce he was a good dad… by emavee, dick & bruce & clark & selina & cast, 10.3k      …and one time it mattered ✦ Phobias by RascalJoy (DarkQuill), dick & bruce & alfred, 18.4k wip      It was stupid. It was irrational. Dick knew that. There was no good reason for him to be afraid; he had been doing this for most of his young life. And yet… Five times Dick fell, and the one time Robin didn’t. ✦ I Hate Dick by JeanjacketCarf, dick & bruce & talia, 3.7k      “Robin wrapped his legs around the Bats’ neck and rested his head on top of the cowl. Then he stuck his tongue out at Talia. Talia felt her face growing hot with anger. She tried to restrain it. The Bat loved this child for some unholy reason.” ✦ shades of blue by thatsveryambitiousofyou, dick & bruce, 2.4k      Dick Grayson has blue eyes. Or the one where Bruce tries harder BATFAM FIC RECS - ADULT BATSON AND BATDAD ARE MY KRYPTONITE, I FOLD LIKE WET CARDBOARD FOR THEM: ✦ Withdrawal by Sohotthateveryonedied, dick & bruce & cast, 1.8k      It’s been six hours since he got dosed. The green ring around his eyes has been faded since dawn. It won’t be long before the withdrawal hits him in full force. ✦ The Post-Mission Ponderings of Brucerman and NightBunny by Ptelea, dick & bruce, 4.8k      This is just sheer (metaphorical) fluff to follow up on the (somewhat more literal) fluff of Wayne Family Adventures, season 2, episode 54, S'tel ees a cigam wohs! Heavy on the puns, even heavier on Bruce being struck by amazement at how much he loves his oldest son. ✦ gotta make a stand (but I am just a man) by CaptainOzone, dick & bruce & alfred, 2.3k      Bruce makes it back to the Cave, injured and exhausted, but remarkably alive. He expects Alfred to meet him. He meets someone else. Or: a third credit scene in which Nightwing makes an appearance. ✦ The Hand in My Hand by audreycritter, dick & bruce, 4.4k      Dick offers himself in exchange for some hostages and it does not go as planned. ✦ Yesterday by I_Have_To_Get_Off_This_Planet, dick & bruce, 1.5k      Dick was pretty sure this was what dying felt like. He was curled up, almost in fetal position, on his bed in the Manor. He was there for the holidays, and he had been looking forward to their entire family being together for once. Even Jason had agreed to come. And now he was gonna die before Christmas even arrived. ✦ I Bet On Losing Dogs by Anonymous, dick & bruce, 2.5k      (Or; Bruce’s relationship with his oldest and how it slowly starts to mend, with only a little push from his friends.) ✦ You can pick your battles but you can’t pick your poison by woodenwashbucket, dick & bruce, 1.8k      “Hey, am I bleeding a lot somewhere?” Nightwing asked. Batman gave him an unimpressed look, but Nightwing shook his head. “Seriously. I feel off.” Nightwing wobbled. Batman grabbed him by the shoulders before they could find out if he would have fallen, and Nightwing met his eyes with undisguised alarm. “Ok, maybe worse than off,” he said. BATFAM FIC RECS - EVERYBODY LOVES DICK: ✦ what’s past is prologue by Icestorm238, dick & bruce & jason & damian, time travel, 18.1k      Dick Grayson, bestowed with the memories of an alternate life, decides that things are going to go better this time. Priority number one: preventing Jason’s death. ✦ exactly how this grace thing works by irnan, dick & bruce & barbara & jason & cast, de-aged!dick, 22.7k      Dick gets de-aged. You’d think this would be a routine thing. ✦ sick day by daringyounggrayson, dick & roy & titans, 1.2k      Dick tries to power through a cold and lead a training session with the Teen Titans. It doesn’t exactly work out. ✦ The Gravity of Tempered Grace by CamsthiSky, dick & bruce & jason & tim & damian & selina, 10k      He’s sick, he finally catches on, and at that moment, a cough builds up in his chest, and he barely has enough energy to sit up enough to let his lungs work properly. A coughing fit later, and Dick’s breaths are making a horrible wheezing sound that makes him sound like one of Titus’ chew toys. That’s bad. He’s pretty sure that’s bad. ✦ you swallowing matches by torielle, roy/dick & bruce, NSFW, 8.2k      A month after being fired as Robin, Dick is forced to attend a Wayne gala, and is grateful for a particular friendly face. ✦ The Shape Of You (Was Jagged And Weak) by WinterSky101, dick & bruce & slade & jason & tim & damian & batfam, 40.6k      Six months ago, Nightwing died. They never found the body. Last week, Deathstroke arrived in Gotham. He brought a partner with him. ✦ You say you wanna stay by my side (Darling, your head’s not right) by wlwintersoldier, roy/dick & lian & donna, 2.5k      Dick is stupid and reckless on a mission, whats new, and Roy deals with the fallout ✦ Laundry Mishaps by JeanjacketCarf, dick/babs & jason & tim & damian & cass & steph & duke, 3.5k      Dick’s siblings often show up unannounced and take his stuff without asking. It’s how they show their love. Or Dick’s washing machine is commandeered for Steph’s laundry, his clothes disappear, he goes to girl’s night, has brunch, gets a little shot, and picks his baby brother up from school in about a week and a half while the secret group chat has a grand old time. BATFAM FIC RECS - JASON TODD IS AN ASSHOLE CAT, I’M GONNA THROW HIM AT DICK BECAUSE IT’S FUNNY (AND MAYBE SOME OF HIS OTHER SIBLINGS TOO): ✦ Two Dead Birds by InsaneTrollLogic, jason & dick & tim, time travel, 29k      There’s some lunatic in a red helmet running through Jason’s territory. He wants to think it’s a copycat. He’s wrong. BATFAM FIC RECS - DICK AND DAMIAN WERE THE BEST BATMAN & ROBIN, I’M NOT HEARING ARGUMENTS ABOUT THAT EITHER: ✦ Won’t You Stay A While? by fishfingersandjellybabies, dick & damian & cast, 2.8k      Ric did not expect to find a child sitting on the hood of his cab. Damian did expect to get his brother back. ✦ birdgrief by windupclock, dick & bruce & damian, 1.5k      How could you? Dick doesn’t say. Get out of my sight, Dick doesn’t say. What the hell is wrong with you? Dick doesn’t say. Tim storms out. Dick is left to deal with Damian. ✦ we’re like long lost brothers who found each other (and love each other like family) by drakefeathers, dick & damian, 9.3k      ongoing collection of scenes set when Dick is Batman and Damian is his Robin, ranging from cute to sad (hopefully not too sad). not chronological. ✦ I’ll Carry You by BrickSheep, dick & damian & bruce & tim, 2.1k      Dick Grayson will take every opportunity he can just to carry Damian in his arms. ✦ in my own imperfect way by notquiteaghost, dick & damian & bruce, 1.8k      Dick jokes, a lot, about being the only reason Bruce still remembers how to talk to people. About breaking him in for everyone else. He was Robin first, and he was Robin longest, and he’s why Bruce took in the others, he’s why Bruce isn’t dead in a ditch somewhere. And the jokes are funny! He’s never trying to be passive aggressive, or guilt trip, or whatever else. He and Bruce have spent enough time, now, pointedly not actually looking at each other, pulling words out in painful fits and starts. Dick knows where they stand. They’re good. But. ✦ (Un)Fortunate Son by Syl, dick & damian & bruce & cast, 26.1k wip      Bruce reaches a decision about Damian. Dick disagrees and decides to do something about it. BATFAM FIC RECS - BATKIDS ALL HAVE MANY SIBLINGS AND THEY’RE ALL PETTY ASSHOLES AND/OR WONDERFUL BABIES AND I LOVE THEM WITH MY WHOLE BEING: ✦ Overcoming Our Antecedents by Batbirdies, jason & bruce & dick, 31.4k      Bruce swallows, closing his eyes for a brief moment before he takes another, steadying breath and presses both hands to his face. He just needs a moment. Needs to remember where he is, what year it is, that Jason is not actually fifteen, he only looks like he is. This is temporary. This is just a temporary problem that needs to be contained until they can change Jason back. This is not a repeat of events already passed. This is not a second chance. ✦ what’s past is prologue by Icestorm238, dick & bruce & jason & tim & damian & barbara & steph & cast, time travel, 84.9k      Dick Grayson, bestowed with the memories of an alternate life, decides that things are going to go better this time. Things take a few unintended turns, and the consequences of his actions ripple through his family. ✦ And the Scene Slips Away (To the Evenness I Fake) by Kirazalea, bruce & dick & jason & tim & damian & cass & duke & alfred & cast, rape aftermath/read the tags, 37k      One mistake is all it took to force Jason back into the wonderful world of the Wayne family. Now publicly and legally alive once more, he’s forced to spend the next two weeks of his life stuck in the Manor with the whole family. This leads to several strengthened relationships and the realization that maybe he’s missed a few things over the years. Things that he’s now determined to get to the bottom of. ✦ now the clock is melting (so’s my mouth and so’s my mind) by SilverSkiesAtMidnight, tim & bruce & dick & cast, 4.1k      The League’s base is not built to welcome strangers. Bruce is not a stranger. ✦ what catches and who holds by victoria_p (musesfool), dick & cass, 3k      Dick never wanted to be Batman. Cass always did. ✦ Bet on it by Lysical, jason & damian & jon, 2.4k      Even Damian could admit that his older siblings occasionally had their uses. “I need your assistance,” Damian said, voice low and tense. “No,” Jason replied, and hung up. ✦ a soft place to land by unchosenone, dick & tim, 3k      Tim rubs the back of his head, trying to affect a joking tone. “I knew I should’ve just gone for the new escrima sticks.” Dick is ready to be a good big brother to his grieving little bro. Tim flips the script. ✦ Consanguineous Ministrations by Briarwitched, bruce & kon-el & clark & dick, 23.9k      “Who gave you a baby?” Dick demanded, the instant Bruce opened the front door, eyes drawn immediately to the sobbing infant on Bruce’s hip that he gently bounced to no avail. At the same time, Bruce muttered, “I told you, it’s fine, you didn’t have to come.” Alternatively titled, “Let’s give Batfleck alien baby problems”. ✦ The League of Extraordinary Bowling Bats by chibi_nightowl, dick & jason & tim & damian & bruce & alfred & cassandra & stephanie, 5k      “What did Dickiebird do? Steal all your other shirts?” The shirt is bright green with wide yellow stripes pretending to be a pin stripe running vertically across it. On the back, in bright red letters, “Timmy” is spelled out. “You’re next,” he spits out, shooting Jason the worst glare he could muster. “He’s got one for you too.” ✦ a cheese raspberry flavored void (except not really) by dottie_dc (dottie_wan_kenobi), Marzue, SilverSkiesAtMidnight, Squintyfist (ErzasCake), dick & jason & tim & damian & bruce & alfred & cast, 3k      “Jason.” Dick walks up to the desk, suspiciously peering around. Jason jerks and attempts to get in his way, but Dick is quick and fully willing to vault over his brother. Only, Jason immediately latches onto him, and the momentum sends them stumbling back, knocking into the desk. It’s a good thing Jason stopped him, for right behind the desk, where Dick would’ve landed, is a swirling void. ✦ The Talk by InsaneTrollLogic, dick & bruce & jason & tim & damian, 2k      Bruce never gave Dick the Talk. Dick was grateful for that right up until the time Damian sat through his first health class and started asking questions. ✦ Brothers in War by IaMcHrIsSi, jason & dick & cast, 3.2k      Jason, Cass and Damian ran from the League. In Bludhaven, they run into Dick. Literally. Dick just wanted to get breakfast. ✦ Baby I’m Bi Bi Bi by Sohotthateveryonedied, dick & steph, 1.5k      Dick catches her staring. “Oh, yeah. Forgot I had that. I bought it for when Wally, Donna and I were planning to go to Gotham Pride last year but a Joker thing came up and I didn’t get to go. You can just toss it. I have a ton of other bi merch and I only bought that one because Donna pressured me into it, anyway.” Steph looks down at the t-shirt and bites her lip. “Actually…I think I’ll keep it, if you don’t mind.” ✦ two attempted robberies too many by tsuchann, dick & bruce & jason, 2.2k      Dick could have knocked out the man before he had the chance to blink let alone pull the trigger, but he wasn’t dumb, and he worried his reaction would have caused the other robbers to shoot, because in the bank, at the middle of it all, with a gun pressed to his head, was Dick’s little brother. ✦ That the Ripest Might Fall by Ellegrine, TheFightingBull, dick & jason & tim & damian & bruce, reverse robins, 2.4k      Jason stared at the fallen chandelier. The priceless, fallen chandelier. They were dead. They were so, so dead! ✦ the butler’s neighbor by deargalileo, tim & alfred & bruce, 16.6k      it starts with a baseball, thrown onto the wayne’s property. it’s alfred’s job to deal with such happenings, of course. but over tea and galas, it turns into so much more. after all, why should bruce be the only one allowed to adopt any child that he finds? ✦ the straw drawer by deargalileo, dick & bruce & jason & tim & alfred, 7.4k      sometimes, love is stored in the straws. a story about family, traditions, and gifts, through the medium of crazy straws. (a companion piece to the butler’s neighbor, so i would suggest reading that first) ✦ you gotta push all the doubt to the side of your mouth by danishsweethearts, dick & stephanie & cast, 1.7k      Steph practices mindfulness. BATFAM FIC RECS - DICK/BABS FOREVER AND YOU CAN SHUT IT IF YOU DISAGREE, THEY’RE ADORABLE TOGETHER: ✦ Crime and… by Ladymercury_10, dick/babs, 1.7k      “Are you punishing me with glitter? That’s not a very good punishment, Babs.” ✦ the dickbabs baby au. by thychesters, dick/babs & batfam, 49.1k wip      Telling Dick she’s pregnant is much more stressful than she was hoping it would be. Them telling the rest of their families and friends? Yeah, easier said than done. BATFAM FIC RECS - I WILL DIE ON THE HILL THAT TIM DRAKE’S TRUE LOVE INTEREST IS CONNER KENT AND NOBODY CAN STOP ME, NOT EVEN GOD: ✦ buy back the secrets by sundiscus, tim/kon & bruce & clark & jason & cast, 48.1k wip      He takes a long, slow breath. Ignores the glares from the other students. “Superboy,” he murmurs. “It’s me. If you’re listening, I could use some help.” Or: 5 times Superboy saves Tim Drake, and one time Tim Drake saves Superboy. ✦ Grevious Misuse of TTK (or, Alternate Uses for TTK) by Cfae8, tim/kon, NSFW, 1.4k      Tim wakes up to someone touching him. But Kon’s hands haven’t moved. ✦ The Lost Art of Minding Your Goddamn Business by JpegDotJpeg, tim/kon & jason, 2k      Tim just sputtered, looking thoroughly scandalized for someone standing in the middle of the irrefutable evidence of his own fornication. If the furniture looked this bad, Jason couldn’t imagine that little Timmy had escaped Superboy’s super cock completely unscathed. “It’s not that bad,” Tim said, gesturing to the carnage, but he didn’t even sound convinced of his own words. “It looks like the fucking honeymoon scene from Twilight in here.” ✦ Practice Makes Perfect by rotasha, tim/kon & jason, NSFW, 18.3k      Kon is trying to seduce someone – he won’t tell Tim who – and he enlists Tim’s help to try to hone his flirtation skills. This surely won’t end in disaster for Tim, who’s had a thing for Kon practically since they met. BATFAM FIC RECS - TAKE THE ANGST DIAL, TURN IT UP TO ELEVEN, AND BREAK THE KNOB OFF, THAT’S WHAT I’M HERE FOR: ✦ Wait, What? by PandasandDucks13, dick & bruce & titans, 2.4k      Dick Grayson finds something interesting while applying for college. On a side note: He should really evaluate how many felonies he commits on a regular basis ✦ Dawn Breaks Through the Window by sElkieNight60, dick & bruce & jason & tim & damian, depression/read the tags, 14.7k      Without realizing it, Dick has fallen into a listless apathy, but when an incident cuts a little too close, Bruce and his brothers are there to remind him just how loved he is. ✦ Wisdom Always Chooses These Black Eyes and These Bruises by audreycritter, dick & bruce, 3.2k      After a severe, life-changing injury, Dick and Bruce have an epic fight and then fall back together. Sometimes, family hurts you the most, but that doesn’t stop how much you need them. ✦ your continental divides by isawet, reisling, dick & bruce & damian & barbara & cassandra & stephanie & donna & roy & wally & artemis & cast, rape aftermath/read the tags, 26.7k      When running doesn’t work and working doesn’t work, home is the place you go where they have to take you in. Dick’s home has never been Gotham; it’s always been the people.

[jtl-fics]

Master post for Fluent Freshman AU

I’ll be pinning this at the top of my blog for now that the Poll is done. Here is where you can find every installment of the Fluent Freshman AU since it’s getting a lot longer than I intended considering it was mostly a one off goof post that got some legs in my brain.

This is just for the actual installments and not any asks or reblogs with additional content.

Also please note that this story is a rough draft. I am thinking about posting a cleaned up version on Ao3 someday.

Part 01 - “Bunny” “Darling”

Part 02 - “Never have I ever…”

Part 03 - “Hey wanna learn how to use a knife?”

Part 04 - “Oh, I kept some Pepto behind the counter for you.”

Part 05 - “We’re taking a drive.”

Part 06 - “Are we still going on that drive?”

Part 07 - “Sure”

Part 08 - “Those pies look good.”

Part 09 - “We have plans for that whipped cream tonight”

Part 10 - “You can just shove them off.”

Part 11 - “It won’t happen again.”

Part 12 - “You were shopping??”

Part 13 - “That sounds like what someone who wants to lick the spoon would say.”

Part 14 - “Pull out the brownies and go back to sleep Smith.”

Part 15 - “Alright, let’s go to Eden’s!”

Part 16 - “Surprise Me.”

Part 17 - “Acceptable. You know the rules.” Part 18 - “Just enjoy your drink Smith” Part 19 - “What’s your name by the way? Sorry I missed it.“ Part 20 - “I am Miss Congeniality!” Part 21 - “Well, that’s about what I expected.“ Part 22 - “I don’t like that you hid it from me.” Part 23 - “Classified”

[jtl-fics]

Just thinking about some poor Palmetto Freshman who, due to the nature of the Foxes, is super quiet and blends into the background. This poor freshman is a foreign language major (forcing himself to have to talk to people and he likes languages) and he knows a couple languages already!

He hasn’t mentioned his major so no one knows but its fine there will be time to make friends and- did Captain Neil just call the scary goalie милый (Darling)? Their tones give away nothing but the goalie with all the knives responded by calling his weirdly intense captain кролик (Bunny).

He stares at them but Andrew threatens to cut him if he keeps looking (he thinks its about Neil’s scars) and now he has officially missed the chance to mention that he is fluent in Russian.

Cue being subjected to the sappiest shit on the entire planet because Andrew and Neil are fucking extra with the shit they say when no one can listen in. So now begins the long play of trying not to let on that he knows because that would be so embarrassing! So awkward! He masters the art of the poker face by the Fall Banquet. He refuses to sit in hearing distance of the two of them on the bus because last time he listened to Andrew describe in excruciating detail what he was going to do to Neil if Neil let him when they got back to the dorm. (He couldn’t get up and walk away! That’d be suspicious!)

This is his hell but at least he made friends with the other freshmen when he accidentally said “No I think Andrew likes Captain Neil plenty.” Because he was trying not to process the absolutely filthy things Andrew was saying to Neil in what looked like a heated argument.

The only person who knows is Nicky because Nicky came up and asked if he was homophobic (power walking away from Neil and Andrew when Neil sat in Andrew’s lap for movie night because he has LEARNED that lesson) and he panicked because HE IS NOT HOMOPHOBIC and confessed that he is fluent in Russian.

Nicky, wisely, promises to take this information to his grave. The freshman weeps in gratitude.

[jtl-fics]

The way it ALMOST comes out that he speaks Russian is during a game of Never have I ever with some other Foreign Language Major Freshmen near the end of his first year. He’s made friends with a lot of the others in the foreign language department but he’s distantly friendly with the majority of his fellow freshman Exy players.

(Their personalities are a lot for him to deal with ok. Nicky tried to drag him to Eden’s once and the thought of a loud busy club almost made him pass out with anxiety. Also if he becomes too close to them one of them is going to ask him what his major is and then they’ll find out that he speaks 10 languages and 5 of them fluently, INCLUDING RUSSIAN. Then it will get back to Captain Neil and Andrew and Fluent Freshman has 0 desire to get stabbed THANKS.)

Fluent Freshman is just so happy to be here, this is nice, he feels safe, he heard what Andrew and Captain plan on doing tonight so they’re not gonna come. He can let his guard down right??? He gets tipsy.

Then his roommates come back when they were supposed to be out all night. Then Nicky comes and joins in because he heard laughter and wanted in, Aaron comes because Nicky came, Matt comes because his roommates came, some of the sophomores come in because hey free alcohol and a drinking game is a good time, and Kevin comes because he got sexiled.

It’s still safe. It’s nice getting to know the seniors and maybe he can be a little closer with his year mates next year? His fellow foreign language freshmen are having fun and making sure he doesn’t fade too far into the background.

It’s Matt’s turn, Fluent Freshman is tipsy, “Never have I ever become fluent in a different language.” he’s very tipsy as he raises his hand, “Do I have to take a sip for every language I know or just one sip?” he asks as most of his fellow major friends take a sip and wait to hear the verdict.

“Wow you know multiple languages? Which ones?” Comes a voice from his nightmares. Fluent Freshman turns and there are Captain Neil and Andrew Minyard.

“You’re looking at the Adonis of the Foreign Language department!” His one friend says arm around Fluent Freshman’s shoulder (TRAPPING HIM) “He’s fluent in like...like EVERY language. The profs love him.” A big wet kiss to his cheek may be the final gentle touch he’ll ever know before he’s gutted (LIKE A DAMN FISH)

“Every language?” Captain Neil asks amused.

“Like French, Spanish, German, and uh...wait...what’s the one with an R?” his friend looks at him and in that moment Fluent Freshman can see Nicky going pale, Captain Neil’s eyes widening, and Andrew’s eyes narrowing and his brain works a mile a minute for a lie.

“You’re thinking of the language spoken in Rwanda. I know French.” He answers immediately his face utterly blank as his panic has obliterated every last atom of alcohol in his blood. He needs to sell this lie with his life.

“Oh yeah thats right you do buddy.” his friend pats his head.

“C’mon, lets get you in your bed buddy.” Fluent Freshman says helping his friend up onto his feet.

He ignores how Andrew’s eyes feel on him and how Nicky mouths ‘NICE SAVE’ with two thumbs up.

With his friend’s drunken state as an excuse he flees his own dorm room and has to live with the fact that Captain Neil is excited to have a language buddy he can practice Spanish with.

Neil is nice and a good friend but if he ever finds out the truth then Fluent Freshman is going to die.

Is Fluent Freshman an Expy of Neil’s own freshman year struggles to keep shit secret? MAYBE.

Only made entirely ridiculous since the threat isn’t the mafia / serial killer dad. It’s that Andrew Minyard might find out that someone other than Neil knows that he likes to be called Darling.

Fluent Freshman treats this threat level the same as Neil did during his freshman year.

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[daddydampbread]

Renee: and then my parent was brutally murdered in prison

Neil: god, I WISH-

[stinkyhat-deactivated20231213]

Screaming crying because I hate every piracy guide I come across on here.

[stinkyhat-deactivated20231213]

HERE IT IS

https://easyussr.neocities.org/guides.html

check out my piracy guide GOGOGOGO

STEAL MAIM KILL!!!

https://easyussr.neocities.org/guides.html

https://easyussr.neocities.org/guides.html

tell me if i got any more splainin todo. i am open to suggestions. reblog this so more people can pirate. DO IT!

[stinkyhat-deactivated20231213]

THE REVIEWS ARE IN

thank you so much for the support over the last three days! i got over 10k hits on the website!!!

i wish i could upload faster/more often but i have been busy & tired. i did make a number of small updates today though! including links to VPN leak checks, where to find roms and emulators, more torrenting sites, and a small dictionary section that has VERY SIMPLE definitions of some words that i used.

[gorps]

This is legit the only piracy guide I've seen on tumblr that is not full of terrible advice go read and do this rn or else

[daddydampbread]

Idk, if I was Danny and I just found out that I was ghost king, the first thing I would do is install ghost therapy. Like I know the ghosts are compelled to fulfill their obsessions but there gotta be healthier and less destructive ways to do it.

Like Skulker for example, he could become a detective and hunt for missing persons instead of, you know, trying to skin a child. Or Ember could make a fucking Spotify or something idk.

The second thing I would do is make Clockwork do the worm.

[daddydampbread]

When you just wanna go out for ice cream but your dad is busy doing hoe shit-