Official Danimals Content™

Dannen=29=he/she/they=USA=♊ ★Queer, Ace and Nonbinary (fuck you) ★Middle Animorph ★Sylph of Hope★Xiaolin Dragon of MEMES ★I like Xiaolin Showdown, Wander over Yonder, Pokemon, Star Wars and Furries ★Recovering from Homestuck disease★I'm a Vtuber and you'll regret this★I love my Weird Cat

[zmpl]

69 - tuah = 67

[dogpuppy]

[pancakeke]

I’m watching season one simpsons

[ulysses-but-somehow-more-transer]

take my ass to torture city where the grass is ouch and the girls are hit me

[armpits-are-crying]

nope. funkytown again

[ulysses-but-somehow-more-transer]

come on

[fangorn-forest]

her eyes were the sickly green of the sky before a tornado, and to his horror he discovered she could throw cows around just as easily

[that-house]

to his horror? weak shit. outta my way gayboy im boutta get it

[that-house]

all of our trobles seem so small from up here

[throathole]

I really love when cats use their front legs to hold something in place while they use their back legs to kick the absolute shit out of it

[throathole]

Destruction. Annihilation, even

[bundibird]

I'm gonna be honest for a second. I cant believe people still care about Taylor swift.

[witha-boxofscraps]

This CANNOT be left in the tags you came with RECEIPTS

[sharkgirldick]

\

( -3-)

Gulpin

[sharkgirldick]

\ /

( -3-) (-Ɛ- )

Two Gulpin

[sharkgirldick]

Take a Gulpin. Now double it. That's the essence of Two Gulpin Tuesday.

[basil-mage]

Endless cycle

[todaysbird]

fun fact about me: When I was 6 years old I sent so much hate mail to the president (the second Bush) that the mail carrier had to tell my mom I needed to stop before we got FBI’d

[todaysbird]

I was COMPLETELY unaware of the US political scene or why the adults in my life hated Bush, but I knew I hated him because he let people shoot wolves from helicopters and that’s mean and shitty

[todaysbird]

I also had a poor grasp on how stamps worked, so given that I wasn’t allowed to continually throw money away by putting stamps on my presidential hate mail, a lot of the times I just drew squares with little pictures inside on the corner.

[fantasticait]

Love, love, love reading more proof that everyone should encourage the children in their lives to write to elected officials--it teaches them about citizenship and can also be very funny.

When I taught second grade, one of the options for students who had finished their work was to write a letter to the president. I would send all of the letters in a big envelope at the end of every month.

Watching my students get more and more frustrated with him (and concerned about his wellbeing) was not the result I'd hoped for when I came up with the idea, but it was kind of hilarious.

See, Obama had a standard packet with information and activities about his dog he'd send in response to letters from very young citizens...and of course his office sent one back to our class every single time we sent mail.

So eventually all of the letters looked something like this:

Dear President Obama, I am writing about the environment. I am sad that the Great Barrier Reef is hurt. Also the Amazon Rainforest. Can you help? PLEASE DON'T WRITE BACK TO TELL ME ABOUT YOUR DOG AGAIN. WE ALREADY KNOW ALL ABOUT BO. WE COMPLETED THE MAZE AND COLORED HIM IN. It is good that you love your pet a lot. But try to remember the environment. It is also important.

[ishipallthings]

[notahorseindisguise]

hmmmmm.... this shitpost from a user i dont know seems like a warm, safe place to lay an overshare egg 🥚

[actuallyapathy]

and the sequel: hmmmmm.... this serious personal post from a user i don't know seems like a warm, safe place to lay a fandom reference egg 🥚

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[burneracct69]

[narcissistcookbook]

buzzkilling isn't cool and subversive anymore. there is so little buzz and i'm taking it where i can get it

[myth-myth-yeth]

with its threatened status, we’ve shifted to a buzz capture-and-release program

[nadjasnandor]

consuming media like

[shamebats]

Emos & scene kids got this close to abolishing gender for real. I try not to think about it too much.

[shamebats]

The idea of a popular teenage subculture where girl & boys pretty much all dress the same feels impossible now but for a while it was reality and it was beautiful.

[kaity--did]

Tonight on My Husband Doesn’t Know How to Baby Talk

“Ma’am, are you aware that these, right here are your hands? They belong to you. And you get to decide what happens with them. So when you use these hands to pull your binky out of your mouth that is not necessarily a dad problem. I’ll fix it obviously i just want you to acknowledge it’s not my fault”

[kaity--did]

Husband: ma’am it has been reported lately that you do in fact have tiny little toes and a little button nose, do you care to comment?

Penny Rose: Babbles in Baby

Husband: RIVETING!

[kaity--did]

Penny Rose: Does that High Pitched Baby Yell ™️

Husband: Let it out friend! Feel your feelings!

[kaity--did]

Me: Hehehe silly husband doesn’t know how to do baby talk

All of tumblr collectively at my husband:

[kaity--did]

Penny Rose: does a sad baby scream

Husband: you don’t even have to understand taxes yet! I can explain them but you’ve got several years before that’s relevant!

Penny Rose: wide eyes, staring at her father, almost intrigued

Husband: I lied to you Penny your mother does our taxes. Do you want to know about arbitration? I know all about arbitration.

[kaity--did]

THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND

yes he just walks around the house and talks to her like this

[kaity--did]

Penny Rose: Cooing as twinkle twinkle little star plays

Husband: Now Penny there is a lot of misinformation out there in the world and I hate to tell you this but the moon is in fact not made of cheese. That is a conspiracy theory pushed by Big Dairy.

????

[kaity--did]

Husband: Holds Penny Rose up to her reflection in the microwave

Husband: you see Penny Rose! This was the M. Night Shyamalan twist! You were mirror baby all along!

[kaity--did]

FYI this is how you get a Deals Warlock if you were wondering

[justplainsalty]

I have follow up questions:

1) Did you participate in baby talk to make up for your husband's deficit, or did you also opt to speak to the Deals Warlock like a very tiny adult from babyhood?

1a) If you participated in baby talk with Penny, did she ever do any code switching with you while she was learning to talk (I mean, babyish talk back to you but fully formed adult like you share with us to Lawyer Dad)?

[kaity--did]

I didn't baby talk with her very much either! I think I squealed at her more than my husband did.

Something funny that has happened is that while she formally calls me Mama when she's answering me in passing she does call me "My Darling Love" and I don't know for sure but I think it's because I call her and her father "my loves" and her father calls me and her "darlings" and she's created a mash up 😂

So I'll say "okay penny it's time for bed" and I'll just hear "okay my darling love!" 😂

[kaity--did]

Everyone is always so so kind on this post but I do want to warn you all that this did in fact lead to an insanely verbal child, and if you choose that life you have to commit to that life.

Penny Rose is now 5 years old and she

1. Starts talking the moment she opens her eyes to the moment she passes out at night

2. Asks, and I am not exaggerating I counted, an average of 892 questions a day

3. Does not accept "I don't know" as an answer to said questions, will usually have a follow up question as to why you don't know OR a suggestion on how we can find out together

I pay for limitless data and have 709 Google tabs open on my phone at all times