~ A bit of piece and quiet to calm the mind...~
YOU ARE THE REASON

Origami Around
Claire Keane
i don't do bad sauce passes

ellievsbear
ojovivo

roma★

JVL
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
sheepfilms
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Peter Solarz

blake kathryn
trying on a metaphor
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
NASA
art blog(derogatory)
d e v o n
$LAYYYTER
Game of Thrones Daily

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@daphnestriata
~ A bit of piece and quiet to calm the mind...~
crab crab crab hand hand hand frighten
i like them..
I say this to myself whenever I’m thinking really hard.
It doesn’t help
omg I couldn't find it anymore, thank you !!
The Last 30 days of the year reset ✨✨
The last month of the year is not about becoming a new you. It’s about becoming the version of yourself you were always meant to be. This is the time to edit, not add. Below are ten anchors for your final 30 days, practices you can weave in. They’re not tasks. They’re invitations to elevate how you live & feel through the last chapter of your year
1. Declutter your nervous system before your life
Slow mornings. Less phone. Sun. Grounding. Breath work. A regulated nervous system is the foundation of every habit, boundary and intention you set
2. Choose one physical habit and repeat it daily
Pick one thing, pilates, walking, red light, skincare routine and make it your signature for the next 30 days. Not to transform, but to anchor. Tiny discipline shapes the person you become
3. Clean your environment
Your space holds emotional residue. Use this month to release it. Clear your closet. Wipe down surfaces. Refresh your bathroom. Reset your kitchen. A messy environment an irregulated nervous system. A clean environment, as well as taking the time to move things around, shifts the energy in the room
4. Audit your relationships
Who brings out your softness? Who drains your ambition? Who feels like the future and who feels like the past? Release the people your next chapter won’t need, keeping you comfortable or are holding you back
5. Set your non negotiable five for the next 30 days
These are the habits your future self needs, not the habits your anxious self craves
Some examples: Morning sunlight A 10 minute walk One hour of focused work Journaling
6. Choose your next year identity now
Identity precedes outcomes, so write it down
“I am becoming a person who…”
Behavior flows from identity. Results flow from behavior. Become who you want to be at the identity level first
7. Do one thing every day that builds self trust
nothing changes your life like keeping promises to yourself. Even the smallest ones. Small integrity creates massive identity
8. Release what you don’t want to carry into the new year
The grudges self doubt comparison situationships fear of choosing yourself survival habits
9. Create a vision that feels like a memory
Describe your next year like it already happened, your mornings, your friendships, your home, your income, your routines, your sense of self. The brain filters your life through what you believe is coming
10. Treat these 30 days like a runway
You are not waiting for a date on a calendar to become who you want to be. These last 30 days are a soft transition into your next chapter. Walk into the new year aligned, regulated, clear and prepared
There's a lot of chances that I'll end up venting here about my not-so-recent-now break up because apparently, my brain can't FREAKING GET OVER IT and why write in my own journal when I can use datacenter space and energy to shout things to the world. Also, he stills follow me on insta for ??? probably a reason
I dunno.
This guy should come with an instruction manual.
I wish it was easier to talk about mobile phone addiction without sounding like a boomer
Phone addiction (specifically social media addiction) is real and it's not a joke and it is everywhere. Phone addiction literally reduces the grey matter of your brain. It's no secret young adults are more anxious and depressed than ever; more lonely than ever; more aimless than ever. Do you remember being a hugely creative kid, and feel like that spark is gone now? Can't sleep at night? Yeah, your GABA receptors are probably fucked from getting hits every 60 seconds from checking your phone. What's your daily screen time like? 6 hours? 12? These are common numbers. It's insane! It's insane and it's deliberate. Companies make more money from you when you're brain is fried from scrolling 10 hours a day through meaningless content.
But it can be reversed. Start small. If you hit this post then take 5 minutes to put your phone down in another room and do something. Do a crossword. Go for a walk. Be present! CBT is a hugely successful therapy for phone addiction and can even reverse the damage done to your brain.
I get it. I have dozens of beloved friends online, and I'm more informed now than I would ever have been without access to the Internet, but wouldn't it be nice to wonder sometimes? Wouldn't it be nice to be able to go outside and not itch for your phone screen? To have that creativity and confidence back? Start small. Start now.
I think people get mixed up a lot about what is fun and what is rewarding. These are two very different kinds of pleasure. You need to be able to tell them apart because if you don't have a balanced diet of both then it will fuck you up, and I mean that in a "known cause of persistent clinical depression" kind of way.
When people say they enjoy things, they usually mean one of two things. The first is that these things are fun; that is, they satisfy immediate emotional needs or desires for pleasure. Candy Crush is fun, for people who are into that sort of thing; waterslides are fun, watching TV is fun. Fun, in the way I'm defining it for this post, is the party food of pleasure; immediately and usually temporarily satisfying, and after that, mostly satisfying only as a happy memory (although some of these activities, like watching a TV show, can generate further opportunities for pleasure down the line like daydreaming, discussion, and making fanart). Like party food, this kind of fun is a good thing to have, and someone who doesn't get enough of it is at high risk of stress-related health concerns. Also burnout. A lack of fun is a major contributor to burnout.
The second kind of pleasure that most people talk about is rewarding activity. The lack of rewarding activity in one's life is a major contributor to depression. It creates a sense of purposelessness and worthlessness and generates a low attention span, sapping the ability to feel long-term motivation or pleasure. People usually try to pick themselves up with the first kind of fun, which is a band-aid but not a very sticky one; the lack of rewarding activity grows and festers over time. Rewarding pleasure involves working on something long-term that feels worthwhile. There are usually also spots of fun (or you wouldn't have gotten into the activity enough for it to become rewarding), but there also tends to be long slogs that aren't that fun. Nevertheless, when people report on doing said activity, they will speak about it with great enjoyment and remember it being enjoyable and claim they like it. (I like being a writer. Writing can sometimes be boring as shit.) (Look into Csíkszentmihályi's work on experience sampling and flow states for more info on this, it is FASCINATING.)
In Reality is Broken, Jane McGonigal sums up what she thinks are the most important contributing factors to rewarding activity. These are not the only factors, but I agree that they're a good baseline of the critical ones. I'm going to paraphrase them using different language. The four big contributors are:
Satisfying work. This is the vaguest one because different people find different things satisfying. Basically, the task itself should feel productive, and you should not feel bad about doing it to the point where it causes you distress. Satisfying work involves clear goals with actionable steps and a clear product, preferably something that you can see, touch or use. A clean house, a new high score, a freshly built table, a happy child.
Mastery. Rewarding pleasure is often something that you can get better at. There are things to learn, practice, improve. Improving your ability to solve tricky code problems, getting better at painting landscapes, figuring out fun new strategies in Magic: The Gathering, being able to build computers better or faster or cheaper. Mastery does not require becoming the best at something (although some people enjoy that specifically also), merely seeing progress in yourself and being able to take pride int he fact that you are better than you were.
Social connection. Rewarding pleasure often involves social or community connection. A long-term social group that discusses fan theories of their favourite show. Your weekly tabletop rpg. Teaching a room full of kids who to make leather belts. Working at a small bookshop and making small talk with all the tourists. Some people find social activity to be fun in the 'immediate pleasure' kind of way, some don't, but it is a critical factor in mental health and in the long-term... rewardingness (?)... of a hobby. Animals can also partially fill this niche, but be warned, they are far, far less effective than people. Your cat might be able to stop you from committing suicide today. You cat alone will not make your life satisfying.
Contribution. Humans are community animals and have a need to be something larger than ourselves or, more specifically to be of service to something larger than ourselves. Looking after kids, cooking big meals for others, creating art or physical products for others. Teaching the next generation how to read. Serving your God. Saving a species of small fish from extinction. Volunteering at your local charity shop or soup kitchen. Being a member of a crowd to reach the Guinness World Record for "most people fit into a storage crate". Making useful tutorial videos, being an entertainer, joining your local queer support group or political organisation. Humans fucking love to be part of something bigger than their own brain and they fucking love to help people.
The world is full of rewarding activities, and not all of them rate high in all four categories. The woman working in the charity shop warehouse and chatting with her coworkers isn't necessarily all that interested in mastery of her job (although I've worked in these places and some people do take pride in learning to be as efficient as possible), the musical hermit training to become the best violinist in the world might not be all that interested in social connection or how the audience actually feels about him. You might have noticed that I've listed hobbies, jobs, and non-employed but important life work (volunteering and childrearing) as possible rewarding activities; you can find rewarding activities everywhere. (In fact the lack of rewarding pleasure in our work lives is a very serious problem that companies keep trying to condescendingly band-aid over. The late David Graeber had a lot to say about this and I highly recommend his work, particularly Bullshit Jobs, which is a book specifically discussing the lack of above points 1 and 4 (satisfying work and sense of contribution) in so many modern workplaces and its distressing psychological ramifications). Rewarding activities are not 'fun' all the time; in fact, Csíkszentmihályi's work found that many of them are quite unfun most of the time. They do, however, create long term pleasure, and are emotionally and psychologically critical.
One final point: research shows that computer stuff counts less. This isn't a 'hurr durr edison was a witch get off your damn computers and get a real job' point; plenty of people do most of their rewarding activity on computers, because the supply cost is so low (most of us already own some kind of computer) and it's so much easier to find an existing community. But it does, psychologically speaking, count less; your brain isn't very good at seeing computers stuff as as 'real', on a primitive sensory level, as things you can touch with your hands or people that are right in front of you. Your massive community of fellow fans on the internet are less effective at filling your social needs than the crochet club at your local library, even if you like the people on the internet much more. It doesn't have to be everything, but ideally you should have at least one physical meatspace social club and at least one physical meatspace hobby, craft, or volunteer job. (They can be the same thing. You can volunteer at a soup kitchen for both.) They don't have to be the most important thing -- I care way more about my writing (electronic) than my crochet (meatspace) and I do the writing a lot more -- but the meatspace thing should exist, if you can manage it.
#wow this did not go where i expected it to go#i thought this was going to be about like. when games make you feel like you've accomplished something so you keep playing#without realising you're not actually having any fun
You're talking about extrinsic vs intrinsic reward systems, which are a different but equally interesting thing! Games (and jobs and schools and other things) will sometimes try to instil motivation by over-relying on extrinsic reward mechanisms without bothering to make the activity itself fun, rewarding or meaningful. This does work in the short term but it does not help your mental health like properly rewarding activities do, and people who don't become "addicted" tend to bounce off them unless there's something else to hold onto them (such as a sunk cost, or a social circle of other gamers they really like, or a lack of alternate activities, or something).
I'm so pissed when I look at studyblr posts now that I have graduated from my master. Like. What a bunch of HOT LIES.
Yes, it's amazing, very pretty and stuff but most of the suggestions to "study better" I've read actually brought me through hell thanks to my ADHD not-much-of-a-brain. Created blocks of how I was supposed to study. Were awfully time consuming to achieved great colorful notes which I then was absolutely incapable of using.
I think times and thoughts have changed since the beginning of high school for me, but dear studybuddies, not everybody is from the US or Canada, not everybody can own a Mac, not everybody have a non-spicy brain. I know making very pretty pictures is tempting, but rest assured that showing the truth will propably help people a lot more.
It’s more difficult that I thought
Things I remember reading online that I wish I had screenshotted: Story of a trans guy, estranged from family, who got an invitation to his sister's wedding, but their parents had specified that he'd better come in a dress or not come at all. But they hadn't seen him in almost 7 years and didn't know that not only was he on T and had surgeries, he's a passionate weightlifter.
So if I remember right he sent the sister a heads-up beforehand and the sister was like "holy shit do it", and he showed up in a pink, frilly dress, and sneakers. No makeup, jewellery or anything, just this bulky, hairy dude in a dress for no particular reason.
Their parents, naturally, still got mad despite of him following their exact, specific instructions in order to "not embarrass the family", and after the wedding the sister made sure to pick as many photos of the wedding as possible with the brother visible in them, because it was now a funny family story of bringing the family together by pissing the shit out of their parents.
All hail the king and queen siblings.
What does it take to teach a bee to use tools? A little time, a good teacher and an enticing incentive. Read more here: http://to.pbs.org/2mpRUAz
Credit: O.J. Loukola et al., Science (2017)
@clockworkrobotic
“Friend? Friend push ball? I push ball. I do good.”
Bees. Smart enough to push a ball, not smart enough to not be fooled by a stick masquerading as a bee.
maybe they know and they’re just being polite
Other dimensional beings are undoubtedly amazed at what human beings will accept as human beings too. “But it’s just a stick with a person on it.”
#excuse me neil but what the FUCK was that #thanks for that terrifying thought (nooby-banana)
NEIL WHY. WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT.
This turns up on my dashboard. And I read it and am impressed that someone writes exactly the post that I’d write, without actually reading the name of the person who posted it.
And then I’m puzzled at all the Neil Why’s, and realise that this was me in the Wayback Long-ago.
At least I’m consistent.
And, I should point out, we are no closer to being able to spot the extra-dimensional stick “people” who move unobserved among us.
It’s reassuring how tumblr-like this entire interaction is. Including not reading the url
I love fantasy as a genre but I swear to god if I see one more character put a filthy nasty bloodied blade back in it's sheath without so much as a courtesy wipe I'm going to take a hobbit by the ankles and beat them with it what the FUCK
Saw my guy Mr. Tough Man grab his scabbard and went "Don't do it, bitch" out loud before bitch Did It and had to full on pause the episode and take a walk. GIRL YOU HAVE GUTS IN YOUR SCABBARD NOW. HOW ARE YOU GONNA CLEAN THAT. I'm legitimately so mad
Oh, hey, while I'm at it: WHY LORD WHY are you carrying WHOLE ASS KILLS back to the MIDDLE of your camp when you HAVEN'T EVEN BUTCHERED THE DAMN THING? Do you *enjoy* sleeping next to congealed blood? Your bed is going to smell like death. Fuck. Do you want wolves? Because that's how you get wolves
A Buff Action Man will be like "anyone else gonna pour brown liquor on that open wound" and then not wait for an answer
"We're stuck in freezing temperatures, drink this alcohol, it'll warm you up"
Bitch I'll kill you
the last one is real
If by "real" you mean "a bad idea" then they ALL are, but if by "real" you mean "it works", then yeah, but it will kill you faster.
Alcohol is a vasodilator. You know how drunk people get flushed and pink in the face? That's blood. Blood is warm, so your skin feels warm.
You know where that blood isn't, now? At your core, bringing oxygen to your vital organs.
You know that you can black out from being too cold? That's your blood prioritizing your brain and heart and kidneys and shit over piddly optional bullshit like "warmth". By forcing it to the surface, you're cooling it down faster, and distracting it from keeping you alive, and on top of that you're making your system work overtime filtering out the literal poison that your dumb ass is funneling into your body.
I'm PASSIONATE about this
“““You’re not a monster,” I said. But I lied. What I really wanted to say was that a monster is not such a terrible thing to be. From the Latin root monstrum, a divine messenger of catastrophe, then adapted by the Old French to mean an animal of myriad origins: centaur, griffin, satyr. To be a monster is to be a hybrid signal, a lighthouse: both shelter and warning at once.””
—
— Ocean Vuong, from “On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous”
(via lamenade)
Rich people truly live in a different dimension
Yes! They do! I’ve been trying to get that point to stick and people just don’t follow. The president thinks insurance costs $12 a year.
My old boss’s sister didn’t think we should be paid enough to afford smart phones because (her words) “You peasants work for us, peasants don’t deserve enough money for those things.”
I was once invited to a dinner event. Turns out there was a raffle. I mentioned that if I had known I’d have stopped at the bank for some cash. Nothing was said, but the “You don’t carry a minimum $200 everywhere?” was felt in the body language of everyone within 50 feet. Old boss would get KFC every day. He was hospitalized and had to have bits of intestine removed. First day back he was eating KFC because “Well the doctor fixed everything, so why not?”
If old boss didn’t take home a million dollars in a month the company was “Having a bad time of things.” That’s not sales, or total gain, that’s his paycheck. He owned the building so the company he owned that operated inside the building paid him $33,000 a month, and that didn’t count towards his paycheck. Monthly, his company would pay him rent greater than what he was paying me yearly, and it was so little to him that he didn’t count it as income.
To a rich person, something punishable by a fine is just a thing you have to pay for permission to do. You want to go to the movies? Sure that’s $8 a person. You want to park in the fire zone? Sure, that’s $750 for parking. No big deal.
Rich people live in such a different place than everyone else.
The ruling class is able to purchase actions with no concequences
Okay, so you’ve been called smart all your life. As a kid, you were one of the smartest in your class. Maybe you could read at a much higher level than your peers, or you could fly through multiplication drills like they were nothing. Then, you get to high school and suddenly you’re surrounded by lots of people who were ‘gifted kids’. None of what made you ‘special’ seems all that important now. Your work is actually challenging, and it’s actually requiring effort.
If you’re experiencing this, just know that so many students have gone through the same thing. Maybe it happens in high school, maybe college. But a lot of us who were considered gifted as kids suddenly run into this and it challenges our entire identity. It can be paralyzing, but it’s 100% possible to overcome it and succeed! I’ve compiled a few tips for ex-gifted kids dealing with impostor syndrome and self-doubt. I’m not a therapist, psychologist, or any sort of education expert. I’m just speaking to my own experiences, and I welcome any input from others who have insight into this as well!
1. Understand that working hard does not mean you aren’t intelligent. If something doesn’t come naturally to you, that’s not a reason to give up. Believing that people can do things “just because they were born with a talent for it” is only going to hurt you. It’s not true! People may have natural aptitudes for things, but hard work is involved even for the smartest or most talented people. You are capable of learning anything, and you don’t have to be “good at it” right away to do so.
2. Comparison will kill you. You are your only competition. Focusing on how you rank with other students, and comparing yourself to your classmates is going to exhaust you. By focusing on others, you can’t put your full energy into focusing on your work and yourself. You belong. Even if you struggle with your work, you belong. Focus on your own self-improvement and doing your best.
3. Don’t focus on the goal, focus on your current actions. If you’re always thinking about the future, and about whether you’ll get into that school or that program or win that award or get that scholarship, you’re not using that time to get work done. Don’t worry about college applications, just do your homework. Focus on what you are doing now to reach your goals so you can apply to schools with confidence later.
4. Your grades may not reflect intelligence, but they do reflect work ethic. Don’t let others convince you that grades mean nothing. They sure as hell mean a lot to colleges, and thinking that you should “reject the current education system” is not going to harm anyone but yourself. If you don’t feel like you’re learning anything in your high school classes, that’s all the more reason to want to get into a university that will challenge you. If you put effort into your work, it will not let you down. Your hard work will be reflected on your transcript. Don’t lose focus.
5. Talk to someone. Let people know if you’re struggling. It can be hard to feel like you aren’t allowed to identify as “smart” or to feel pressure to constantly compete and improve. I went to a highly competitive high school that pushed kids to cope in dangerous ways. This is not healthy and not okay. If you’re feeling overwhelmed you need to find healthy coping mechanisms. Speak with someone you trust and don’t let yourself spiral. Don’t try to self medicate. Your well being is always more important than your grades. Period.
6. Enjoy yourself. School may seem like hell, and you may feel like it will never end and you’ll always be stressed and worried. But high school is only four years, and you can do things during that time that you probably won’t ever again. Take advantage of things that seem fun, even if people think they’re nerdy or weird. Try and remind yourself that you’re lucky to have your education and you have the power to do great things with it. Don’t lose sight of your own ability and your bright future!
Don’t tell your daughter that when a boy is mean or rude to her it’s because he has a crush on her. Don’t teach her that abuse is a sign of love.
My mom always taught me yell or fight back. Boys would be mean and I would yell back. I would get my ass pinched and I would smack them as hard as I could.
Who alway got in trouble? Me.
They would call my mother and she always came in and lectures my teachers and threatened to sue for making her miss work and treating me poorly.
She always taught my brothers to respect women. The only fights my brothers ever got in was defending women from someone else.
The school tried to call my father once instead of my mother on us. He came in in his full preacher outfit (being a preacher and all) and gave them an entire sermon on what would Jesus day of he was called in. They decided dealing with my mom was better.
I think my favorite story of this is when some kid snapped my bra and I turned around, didn’t even think about it, and punched that little motherfucker right in the nose.
So naturally, I end up in the principal’s office, refusing to apologize.
“He shouldn’t have put his hands on me and I wouldn’t have hit him!” That’s the only thing I was saying.
These people had the unfortunate luck of catching my dad at home, instead of my mom. So he comes fucking sauntering in there, like he’s Clint fucking Eastwood in some western movie and looks at me.
“Melissa, did you punch him?”
“Yes.” I said.
“Why?”
“Because he snapped my bra strap.”
And he turns his squinty eyed glare to the principal and says, “You’re telling me my daughter is in trouble because that squirrely looking kid put his hands on her and she chose to defend herself? That’s what you are saying to me.”
“Well, sir-” The man kind of stuttered because my dad is kind of intimidating in the quiet sort of way that kind of whispers in the back of your mind that this person could be dangerous. “Melissa did make it physical.”
“No. That kid put his hands on my daughter. Are you saying my daughter cannot defend herself when some boy decides to put hands on her? Is that what you are teaching my girl?”
I didn’t get suspended that day.
*slow clap for excellent parenting*
This is the parent I want to be omg
I went to a nun school.
The nuns there were like, so rad.
It was a party organized for the end of the school year, and I was helping in the kitchen to prepare stuff with a nun and a bunch of little girls. There was one of the girls’ little brother who was there.
There was a little girl who was carrying a bowl of tomato sauce and was going outside, but the boy was just in front of her and he slammed the door in her face. She dropped the bowl on the floor and got all messy.
So what happened?
The nun went outside, took the boy by the arm, and gave him an epic speech going around the lines of: “Would you treat the Virgin Mary like that, young man?” “Nnnnno…” “Then treat every girl like she’s the Virgin Mary.” Not only the boy had to apologize to the little girl, but he also had to clean up and he was put on kitchen duty for the rest of the day.
Then another day, in catechism class (I was a in a girls’ school, mind you), the nun was there telling us: “If a guy touches you in a way you don’t like, punch him in the face. It’s not a sin against charity. On the contrary, you’re being charitable by showing him he’s sinning by impurity and you’ll save him from going to hell.”
So I was at my desk during class looking like this:
Reblogging for awesome dads and kickass nuns.
“you’re being charitable by showing him he’s sinning by impurity and you’ll save him from going to hell.”
What a mood.
Jesus said if guys hands were causing them sin-problems, they should cut them off. Face-punching seems like a good pre-amputation steps, to prevent it getting that far.
Project: Arthropoda Iconicus Series: Timorpersonae
by Richard Wilkinson
This series of imaginary bugs by Wilkinson is inspired by varies horror movie icons.
My dad: “So if your pronouns are they and them, how should I refer to you when I brag about you? My daughter? My son?”
Me: “Mom’s just been calling me her kid or her child.”
My dad: “I shall call you…my Eldest Spawn.”
I feel like it’s worth noting that he was wearing a Cthulu t-shirt when this happened.
I told my dad that this post had gone a little bit viral and now he says not only does he expect father’s day cards from all of you, he finishes all of his dad jokes with, “you should tell the internet I said that.”
UPDATE:
So my mom picked me up to help me run some errands, and told me the following:
“So I accidentally deadnamed you the other day, and your father just stared at me and asked ‘who?’ until I realized what I’d done and corrected myself, and I’m telling you this so you can tell all of his fans on tumblr.”