Jaclyn Rose

[beemovieerotica]

pirates of the caribbean really introduced an eldritch octopus man who kills indiscriminately and torments the dead as their poster villain and then you watch the movies and it's like, "oh no, actually the worst villain in this series is a small white british man who functions as the herald of capitalism" and that was very very brave of them

[beemovieerotica]

[daydreamingrose]

If love alone was enough, I could create universes with the depths I feel for you. We could conqure all obstacles and be richer than most. Loving you never has been and never be will in doubt. If love alone was enough, life would be perfect.

But it's not.

Life is hard and love deserves effort and attention. Partnership requires compromise and work. It means being there for both the good and bad and every moment in between.

Somewhere along the way the scale shifted and I took on being the one to compromise, to understand, to give all the space you needed to sort and figure out. And I did it willingly because your happiness and comfort mean the world to me. I accepted things would take more time than I wanted and longer than I thought they should. I offered to help close the gap and visit you or help you visit me more but you always had a reason why it wouldn't work. I needed you more than once a year and still left things in your hands. I started living for me and still planning for us and for the future we talked about. Maybe somewhere along the way you lost that want. Or you didn't realize how much the distance actually ate at me and couldn't see what I need isn't money. It's you. I've needed you and have been living in a limbo of 'soon' and 'one day' as long as we've been us without even a whisper of an idea of when. Distance and communication have always been our issues and I don't know what to do anymore. I can't make you open up. I can't make you share what's on your mind. I've just been digging and hoping and praying things would be okay because I want us. All I've ever wanted was us. But I can't feel like I'm doing and wanting alone anymore.

Love alone should be enough. But if that was true I wouldn't be crying right now.

[daydreamingrose]

With friends like mine, who needs enemies...

[nibmoss]

[slightlyrebelliouswriter23]

yeah no sorry i'm going to disappear. yeah it's gonna be an all day forever thing sorry. yeah no there's a big fog i'm running towards. it's going to swallow me whole. sorry.

[daydreamingrose]

Fuck. I just want to take all of the broken pieces of me and jam them back together into something resembling a human. I want to be able to exist without living in a constant state of anxiety. I just want to allow myself to be happy.

[daydreamingrose]

God, I hate this all so much.

[visit-ba-sing-se]

idk who needs to hear this but there is literally nothing that would be “too small” or “too insignificant” to stay alive for. You think birds are cute? Go for another day to see more of them jump around in the snow. You like hot chocolate? Wake up tomorrow to make yourself another cup. You are really into that one (objectively kinda crappy) series? Go until next Wednesday when the new episode airs. You do not always need a great purpose. If you have a small thing that can take you to the next morning? That thing is great. That thing is enough. Go get that thing. 

[daydreamingrose]

I'm so over you being stubborn and thinking you don't have to change and there's nothing wrong with how you approach or treat people. The fact that you are unwilling and unbending in that regard makes it plainly obvious that no matter what anyone says you won't and wouldn't do anything differently. If telling me I'm 'rude as shit' is what you think of as approaching me as a friend to try and help me then maybe I don't understand friendship. Or maybe you don't understand me. Either way, I'm done trying to rationalize and explain my feelings on a situation that's just continuing to make me feel worse.

[daydreamingrose]

Not wanting me talk about our past and our history or how things got to our now only benefits you.

[daydreamingrose]

Part of me hates you so much it hurts. This hurts more than anything else you've ever done to me or put me through.

[valtsv]

if i was stuck in a timeloop i probably wouldn't notice for a WHILE honestly. like i'm just not that observant and i really don't think it would be that bad.

[valtsv]

"but you'd wake up to the same song playing every day until it drives you insane!" i already do that. i've been listening to the same playlist every day for over 6 months now and i haven't even started to get sick of it.

"but you'd be experiencing the exact same day over and over again in the exact same order!" i love routine and i have anxiety. being able to predict every moment of my day as it happens would be ideal.

"surely you'd notice the date being the same every single loop though?" you overestimate how much i pay attention to my surroundings. if you asked me the date and time right now i couldn't even tell you which month it is. i barely remember which year we're in, man.

[valtsv]

perfectly logical and reasonable conclusions i'd jump to before even considering i was in a timeloop:

-someone is pulling an extremely elaborate prank on me

-i'm a prophet and i'm just reliving my visions

-i'm just having a really weird time

-this 24 hour day thing is a lot longer than i remember

[valtsv]

this is true. thank you dracula daily for, among other things, protecting me from time loops.

[daydreamingrose]

The hardest part is realizing no matter what I did, or could have done, you would always have picked someone else.

[apassionateman]

I am Me...

I fought several thousand battles, still I stand.

I cried many tears, still I laugh and smile.

Broken, betrayed, abandoned, rejected, I hold my head up.

I confidently smile, laugh, living life respectfully to its fullest.

When I love, I do it with ardent fervor to express my heart.

My no means no, and yes means yes.

My boundaries and values set firm.

I am real, raw and a beautiful soul for I choose to be…

The best me I can be.

[farleysflavors-blog]

(x)

[htxdadd-deactivated20210702]

That turned out better than expected. Legitimately was terrified that BDSM Santa knew my first and last name. 

[hereforthenight-deactivated2020]

BDSM santa is a terrific, nice, guy. Definitely boyfriend material.

[itsannxiety]

marry him

[pokerus-vaccinated]

21st century love story

[srsfunny]

[the4elemelons]

We should fear this guy

[beanieandthejets]

ohhh no thank youuu I’ll pass on that cliff thing 

[daddysrottenpeach]

did he just go into the water with shoes on?

[hanxmillenniumfalcon]

he just rolled backwards off a cliff and your only question is why he still has his fucking shoes on

[surprisebitch]

but his shoes will get soaking wet