Not A Chain Analysis

This is my blog to document my slow progress in gaining stability in my life, and plodding along through university and one day med school. 

[dear-hamb]

Update: was raped again. Everything was going so well and now it’s fallen to shit and I have nobody to talk to.

[dear-hamb]

I was born to be hurt and to suffer,
The moment I met you I was heavily cursed.

You wounded me, and will never forget
How much I cried.
I hope my curse becomes fire and burns you.

And if I lose a life I’ve always hated
I blame you for making me love you.

You wounded me, and will never forget
How much I cried.
I hope my curse becomes fire and burns you.

I’m going to shout it out loud like a crazy person
for the world to know 
All the tortures I’ve gone through,
They were all for you.

You wounded me, and will never forget
How much I cried.
I hope my curse becomes fire and burns you

-Kosta Vervis

[centuriespast]

The Dreamer Annie Louisa Swynnerton (1844–1933) Manchester Art Gallery

[dear-hamb]

Things are going very badly. I haven’t felt so alone in a long time.

[dxmedstudent]

Your bed manager is like...

Tweet by @ arfmeasures, courtesy of @jodran2005

[dear-hamb]

Treatment Update 19/02/19

I’ve been in hospital for the last two weeks, initially hypomanic but now depressed. The plan was to start recommencing mirtazapine and give it a week or two before making other changes, but here I am two days in and so suicidal that I’ve been detained under the mental health act and I’ll be having ECT tomorrow morning. I’m scared that I’ll die if I don’t have it.

[dear-hamb]

I’m bringing in the new years morning in the ED, watching my friend sleep. She drank too much last night and we woke up to her falling off the bed having a seizure. I didn’t sleep at all last night though, so I am pooped. In happy news S is finally getting out of hospital after a bit over a week in. I won’t get to see him today, as I’m staying with my friend until she is medically cleared, which is probably going to be about six to eight hours. Happy new year.

[haiikyuus-remade]

tumblr flagged a post of a girl eating berries so fruit is for whores now reblog if youre a fruit eating whore

[mcapriglioneart]

how to draw arms ? ? 

[swagginsloths]

holy fuck

[shoutsofthunder]

holy fuck is right… but… does it work with legs???

[mcapriglioneart]

yes !!

[empresspinto]

but how much extend

[thunar]

^^^^^^^^^^

[kvothe-kingkiller]

[gabbyzvolt25]

I NEARLY CHOKED

[lifeofcynch]

ENJFDFNFATFVFDF

[deactivated-blog]

finally. i can be accurate

[shiny-charming]

This is too fucking great to not reblog

[wishem]

I give it MASCLES

BIG MACHO

[markv5]

“Технически, я не ходил по столу”…

[overachieversloth]

I’m gonna shit a brick.

[olderboy-aesthethic]

[dear-hamb]

A friend just told me a horrible thing that happened to them and I responded ok but I’m triggered as fuck. Plus disappointed that when we tried to ring the sexual assault service we couldn’t get through by phone, and it’s meant to be a 24 hour emergency phone line 🙄. I’m going to burrito myself in my quilt and eat chocolate.

[kitty]

[achyka-deactivated20201201]

so talented

[dear-hamb]

It’s 5:45am and I am still awake. I have an appointment with my psychiatrist in four hours. I am having surgery in eight hours. Today is going to be awful I’m sure.

[puppetwithapistol-deactivated20]

girl: i feel insecure about my body

some fucking dude: i would fuck you. shouldn’t that be enough? have a great day!

[just-shower-thoughts]

Britian conquered half the world for spices and never learnt how to use them

[blackbitchenergy]

This was so fucking satisfying to watch