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sheepfilms
Sade Olutola
@theartofmadeline
The Bright Sessions
Fieri Frames
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
if i look back, i am lost
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🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
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todays bird
art blog(derogatory)
Cosimo Galluzzi
occasionally subtle
Jimmy Eat World
Mike Driver
EXPECTATIONS
Interview Vampire Daily
Cookie Run:Kingdom Official!
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@deardeathwhysolonely
As People of Color, we actually have the power to select one (1) strange-looking poisonous plant and market it to white people as the new “superfruit”.
yall forget white people are actually smart.
You tagged this as “#nice try black tumblr”
Too bad for you, THIS WAS ASIAN TUMBLR ALL ALONG!
When you’re sleepy and someone won’t stop talking to you…
so who else is in the mood to run off to a series of small, interconnected caves with me, and be cave neighbors for the next ten years,
cons: we wont know about any new memes pros: we make our own cave neighbor memes about the bugs we see doin weird shit and that one cave that leaks when it rains except we can’t find the hole it’s leaking through
cave memes i’m submitting for your consideration:
*aiming hunting implements at anything that isn’t a bird* this bird is gonna be delicious
personifying rocks, constnatly,
“my digging skills are delightful, which you would know, if you ever bothered to know me the way you know your beetles”
throw the stone, Maurice.
one of our cave neighbors is a geologist. they know the names of all the kinds of rocks. the rest of us mispronounce them constantly on purpose and correct each other’s pronunciation with even more wrong ones.
making up elaborate insults towards bugs, and saying them, to the bugs
the implications of Ji-won’s moss beds (the joke is nobody can ever agree on the implications)
mushrooms in places they dont belong
yelling “hhchruckkkk!” in a high-pitched voice, several times in a row, whenever
“the best tasting dirt comes from Jamal’s cave”
worm disco
feel free to submit your own cave memes
these are some of the best memes ive seen all year in all honestly
I really wanna use “throw the stone Maurice” but I can’t think of an instance to do so
Man or dolphin
His dolphin noise gives me life
Okay but he shoots out of the dam
Sassy HYDRA agent
*deep menacing accent* “How did you take down Captain America?” *matter of fact European accent replies* “We shot him in the legs because his shield is the size of a dinner plate and he is an idiot”
sassy hydra agent: hello mr. barnes were going to take your arm off bucky barnes: i think i just need help sassy hydra agent: give you cool robot arm
@garnier-fx there’s another one!
sassy hydra agent: well if it isn’t captain america…
captain america: but it is me.
sassy hydra agent: no, it’s, an expression.
captain america: your nazi tricks won’t work on me!
kids have no concept of anything. i walked into my kindergarten class and one kid asked me what my name was. when i said miss jones, he said “i like that name. did you know i’m in love with you”
i asked my four year old cousin how old he thought i was going to be at my next birthday and he said 8. im 23
once i told a 6 year old that i had finished school and was doing “more school” [university] and she asked “why haven’t you found anyone to marry then”
We were at a museum and I was asking for the student discount and my nine year old cousin looks up at me with his eyes wide and says “wait you’re a STUDENT??”
I used to babysit these three kids and the eldest who was around 11 at the time was talking about how adults are boring and when I told him I was an adult he said, “That’s not true, you’re my age”
our aunt teaches and she has this story about a little girl who really was always pretty quiet in class and then on the final day of kindergarten she just up and stated ‘i’m all teached now. i don’t need to be teached anymore. i’m done of being teached.’
once when i was 19, I told my little cousin that i was 19 and she looked up at me with huge eyes and went, “Does that mean you don’t have to bring an adult with you to the pool?”
My 6 year old cousin saw me driving for the first time, looked up at him mom and said “does that mean she is married now?”
I watched my dad and my niece (3 at the time) arguing over a pair of pants and whether or not they were also a dress. My neice’s argument was that they were, in fact, also a dress because they were blue.
I asked the kids in my daycare class what they thought I should be for Halloween and this little boy goes, “ooh I know! A pickle! You’d be such a good pickle”
On the first day of class with my favorite student of all time, I said, “Are you okay? You look like you have a question.” And she looked me right in the eyes and said, tremulously,
“Can a piranha eat a stapler?”
One time I was working with a kid and he looked up at me and asked “Do you have a boy?” I had no idea what he was talking about, but I told him that I did not have any boys. He looked shocked and then deeply concerned and said “Well, you better hurry up and shave your arms so you can get married; August is next month!”
I was sitting on the floor with my 3yo niece and we were playing with her younger brother’s alphabet blocks and the O had an octopus on it. So I picked it up and asked her what it was.
“Octopus,” she said, all curls and smiles.
“And what kind of animal is an octopus?” I asked. I was looking for “fish” or “sea creature” but I would have accepted almost anything–”weird,” “gross,” even “slimy.” “Underwater” or “it lives in the ocean” would have also been acceptable.
She looks me right in the eye and says, happy as a clam, “It’s a cephalopod.”
I haven’t been the same since.
Yesterday i lost my glasses. And decided to document my frustration until……… I really wish this was planned, but i gotta admit, I took a big L.
“[defeated tone] So… I have…. lost my glasses. And I’m afraid to leave my bed because I can’t see… and I fear I might step on my glasses. So I’m sitting here with my bee pillow pet… and I don’t know what to do.
I need to get up. I wanna get food. I gotta exfoliate and moisturize, cause my skin looking atrocious right now.
What if… [deep breath] What if I die here, y’all? Would anyone even miss me?Like, really?
I want Enrique Iglesias to come save me. Like, the ceiling opens up and like, he comes down from like, a heavenly cloud with my glasses, and he’s singing. [imitating Enrique Iglesias] ‘Would you dance? If I asked you to dance? I will be your hero baby!’ And I just take my glasses and I’m like ‘Thanks yo! Put a shirt on homie!’
But life, life don’t work… life… [prolonged silence]
[camera zooms in on glasses]
[long silence; light chuckle] Enrique…”
This should win an Oscar
Remember that time when Pence made a last minute decision to not sign an application for a grant that would have made preschool in Indiana more accessible and help fix our crumbling infrastructure?
Remember that stern letter that a bunch of big businesses in Indiana wrote to Pence because he signed a law that was discouraging business from both within and without the state of Indiana?
Oh, and that time that Pence caused an HIV outbreak in rural Indiana because the only clinic that did HIV testing was a Planned Parenthood and his fixation on defunding reproductive rights caused it to close- even though that particular clinic didn’t even offer abortion services?
And then there’s the “Pence Must Go” signs all over central Indiana…
And who could forget the time that he planned on using taxpayer dollars to fund a news outlet because he couldn’t control the negative image surrounding him from the press.
What about the time that the FEC had to rewrite laws to prevent challenging candidates from using campaign funds for personal use because Mike Pence used 30% of his campaign funds on mortgage payments and golf tournaments?
And who else remembers when they were giving states a chance to individually tailor their Clean Energy laws to fit the needs of the state and Pence just said ‘no’ and didn’t offer any alternative?
Hey, what about that time that Pence stated that condoms were ‘too modern’ of a solution to HIV and STI prevention and that abstinence was the best choice?
Remember also that 49% of pregnancies in Indiana are unintended, and that out of 1000 teenagers, an average of 49 will become pregnant before they age of 19. And that STI cases have reached record rates for the state of Indiana.
Oh! Remember when Pence went against the advice of legal professionals and signed a good number of laws that mean that you are classified as a drug dealer (whether proven or not) if you are found with a certain quantity of drugs in your possession, and increased the minimum sentence to ten years- even when it was argued by many legal sources that the best way to combat drug use is rehabilitation and not incarceration?
How about the time that he campaigned heavily against raising the minimum wage to match neighboring states, even though an overwhelming majority of Hoosiers polled said that they support a $9/hr wage and approximately 93000 residents of the state bring home less than $300 a week?
Or that time he stripped the office of state superintended of all its meaningful power because he didn’t like who won. (More.)
That person being Glenda Ritz, who by the way, received more votes than Pence.
Of course, I thought that it needed no mention, but who could ever forget the national embarrassment that was the RFRA laws, which allowed business-owners to refuse service to people if they felt ‘religiously burdened,’ which essentially boiled down to discriminating people who are part of the LGBTQ community.
And you know I’d love to rant about Mike Pence all day long, but for those of you who want a more comprehensive list of how incompetent he’s been as our governor, this one sums it up pretty nicely and has sources!
Oh, but don’t take my word for it: here’s another masterpost of all this and more.
And just in case you thought he was done being awful- how about the time that Pence and Trump made a visit to Louisiana despite the fact that politicians were asked NOT to visit the flooded areas for essentially photo ops because its a further strain on resources? Meanwhile, South Bend IN is currently experiencing a flood where a visit would not be a negative impact the resources, but a photo op in Baton Rouge is more important somehow.
Also seemingly less important than an unwelcome photo op is the soil in East Chicago, IN- which has a lead content 30 times what is considered unsafe levels for children to be in contact with. This comes from a man whose initial decision not to run for President was based on his ‘need to focus on his home state.’
Of course, everyone remembers how the RFRA, a law that was written in the spirit of LGBTQ discrimination, was strongly protested but signed anyway. No one could have possibly guessed that people would try to use it to justify child abuse- except for literally every person who protested.
But to put a little more levity in this post, Purvi Patel’s sentence of feticide has been reduced to ‘child neglect’ and she’s out of jail. So that’s good news!
Of course, injustices like these haven’t stopped radical anti-choice laws from being signed in during the entire run of the controversy.
THE LAST EPISODE OF FUTURAMA 1999 - 2013
GROSS SOBBING
DON’T TOUCH ME
BUT THE BEST PART IS WHEN THEY FIRST AIRED THE FINALE THEY PLAYED THE VERY FIRST EPISODE IMMEDIATELY AFTER
This was the best way to end a series.
Partizans
Photo #1
Attributed to Jean Berain I (1640 - 1711)
Dated: circa 1670 - 1680
Culture: French
Medium: steel, gold and velvet, etched, chiselled and gilded
Measurements: blade length 53.2 cm; straps length 7.3 cm; weight 1.92 kg
Inscription: ‘NEC PLVRIBVS IM·PAR’
Photo #2
Dated: 1719
Culture: Polish
Medium: steel, oak, copper alloy, gold, velvet and silk, stippled and gilded
Measurements: overall length (including socket) 62.2 cm, straps length 45.7 cm; weight 2.69 kg
Photo #3
Dated: 1714
Culture: French
Medium: steel, silver and pine, damascened and engraved
Measurements: overall length 184 cm; head length 32 cm; weight 1.3 kg
Photo #4
Dated: 1620
Culture: French
Medium: steel, gold, copper alloy, silk, velvet and cotton, blued and damascened
Measurements: overall length 222 cm; head length 53.3 cm; weight 3.104 kg
Inscription: 'L’ With collars of the Orders of St Michel and the Saint-Esprit
Photo #5
Designer: probably Georges Berain
Dated: 1662 - 1715
Culture: French
Medium: steel, gold, silk, wood, silver, copper alloy and velvet, chiselled, blued and damascened
Measurements: overall length 240 cm; head length 53.3 cm; weight 2.91 kg
Inscription: 'NEC PLURIBUS IMPAR’ 'Equal to anything’
Photo #6
Dated: 1640
Culture: German
Medium: steel, copper alloy, gold and oak, etched and gilded
Measurements: hear length 61 cm (including socket); straps length 47.6 cm; weight 3.48 kg
Heraldry: 3 lances, the banner charges with crosses patty; supported by cranes holding also the mitre, sword and episcopal staff
Inscription: 'IN · HOC · SIGNO’
Decoration: Arms (three keys, 2 and 1; supporters; two cranes, each holding a key)
Inscription: '·POUR · BIEN ·’d
Source: Copyright © 2016 The Wallace Collection
bored at work so i made a compilation of my fave vines
Pt 2 😭
Trump posted this. This is his way of admitting he is a loser with no class
salmonking:
eyebrowgod:
*inhale* arf
quality content
There’s finally a bathroom for me and my magnum dong.
