The Decaffeinated Goat

I shitpost and reblog things I like. Enjoy.

[itshype]

Yes, the fics where Ilya goes to Shane's game in his jersey are cute and romantic. But why has no one even considered:

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

just started watching house and I thought yall were exaggerating but no. every episode is just like three wrong diagnoses that almost kill the patient and then house is like "he has underwater skunk herpes" and they give the guy a new butthole and he's cured. and then house chugs vicodin while talking about wanting to rail wilson.

[bitchi4mwillywonka]

dont worry, i'll be hot and funny again as soon as i'm done fighting for my life right now

[crisismoth]

sometimes i be saying im gonna go to bed and then i dont go to bed. frequently in fact. this is because i have the heart of an optimist and the soul of a liar

[nonasuch]

Kind of think I should just let this 1-star google review stand. I think this might end up drawing more of the customers I actually want.

[nonasuch]

this is what gave those good upstanding followers of christ the scare of their lives, btw:

[chronographia]

Ok but hear me out: bell, book & candle vending machine egg.

(Is this an excuse to make miniature books? Mmmaybe.)

[nonasuch]

I do those! I got a bunch of blank dollhouse books, used washi tape to make pretty covers, and they go in the egg with some mini tarot stickers, a tiny brass bell, and a glass marble ‘crystal ball.’

I guess I should be relieved that the customers who couldn’t handle a 1-inch ouija board didn’t get one.

[srsfunny]

Quagmire strikes again

[weaver-z]

This is the most powerful call to ratio I've ever seen. It's like she's performing an incantation.

[duncebento]

“NO!….RATIO!!!”

[adamsmasher]

Honestly obsessed with her

[geocaprican]

[the-astro-ambassadors]

[ballofstress9]

Absolutely based

[transgirlsgetswords-deactivated]

always reblog bonnie

[blaxolt]

I'm not even sure if they do still make tumblr

[loveridden1999]

smokers smoke after everything

[targetedknowledge]

[irondive]

guys we're running out of time

[pretendusername-deactivated2021]

Happy plagueiversary

[quantumshade]

[catchymemes]

[ceevee5]

[animatedamerican]

i'm in this picture and desperately want out of it

[catchymemes]

[stirdrawsandreblaws]

got stuck on the toilet earlier and my inner monologue started coming in cookie monster's voice for some reason

[winonaparadise]

told my girlfriend that if she proposes i want a secondhand wedding ring. i explained i don't want to contribute to a vanity-based industry like diamond mining, and that it would be important to me to continue marriage traditions in a way that causes minimal environmental and personal harm. she asked me if i was just trying to roll the dice on obtaining a haunted object, and i told her i can want two things.

[argumate]

radio is kind of wild really, the first thing we did after discovering an ethereal field that permeates the universe is infuse it with music.