[saltoncity]

scientists are trying to discover something harder than getting out of bed to go to work in the morning. and dont make a fucking penis joke ok they already checked everyone’s dick and it doesn’t even come close

[cali]

guy whos email is mario19 cuz he is 19 years old and when hes 20 he deletes the old mail and resigns up to every service with mario20 and when he gets to mario25 and its in use already he solidifies into a stone statue and stays in stasis for a year

[cali]

[koiagain]

DNI people who have better social physical or intellectual lives than me

[void-drifter]

it’s cheaper to buy vegetables here

[sparkytheandroid]

life feels exactly like this now

[mysterypuppys]

when you’re already in a bad mood and then you see a man with a stupid fucking mustache

[risk-repeater]

this job market is a fucking nightmare

[ryebreadgf]

[cannibalchicken]

Woah , my garage dog has arrived ,

[transmechanicus]

Blood test results are back. 0’s across the board, dry as a bone under the hood, they’re not sure what they’ve got in those vials but it recoils from light and lunges towards living tissue, which is all normal for girls these days.

[jessebloom]

they're inventing new ways for dogs to play chess and i simply cannot keep up

[plounce]

*creaks my knobbly finger at you*

[generic-internet-name]

talking like point-and-click game narration to the bugs in my room

[generic-internet-name]

you can't get out that way!

[generic-internet-name]

that's not very helpful.

[generic-internet-name]

maybe the open window will help.

[generic-internet-name]

try the open window instead.

[tockthewatchdog]

[junglejim4322]

Some of you seem to be gay #observations #intuitive

[rimonoroni2]

first cryptid you ever run into as a little kid is called Best Friends Older Brother

[guooey]

Uni's magical Mario Galaxy adventure..

[were--ralph]

this genuinely made me so happy

[clubpenguinkiller]

they just don’t make stores with tvs in the window all playing the same channel for you to stop and watch on the street when something horrifically terrible and/or amazingly awesome is happening anymore