[cobaltdays-deactivated20210208]

Be your own daddy, make your own sugar.

[natehankz]

[waitinforthebus-deactivated2020]

ring around the rosie

pocket full of

[cheese24k]

[felicefawn]

I can’t fucking breathe. Holy shit. This is basically my entire personality and interests in a video. I will never recover from this.

[deactivated-12312018]

STOP IT

[sentientbowlofoatmeal]

hELP

[pardonmewhileipanic]

I can’t even pretend for a second this isn’t something I would do lol

[tastefullyoffensive]

[lmxv8ghb003x039]

[ingelnook]

[residentgoodgirl]

[aphony-cree]

this is why I love this joke:

Jesus was fond of telling his followers not to worry about how they’d afford food tomorrow because God would provide. But Jesus told them this while handing out free bread and encouraging them to help people who were in need, making them the outlet through which God would provide for others

My mother was a waitress, we live in an area that has a lot of Christians and people would often stiff her on tips. Instead they’d leave a pamphlet with quotes from Jesus saying not to worry because God would provide

Jesus’ message was never that God would magically put food on people’s tables. God would provide opportunities to help each other, like the boat captains offering to help the dying man. That only works if people actually help each other

When I first heard this joke as a teenager I laughed at the guy who didn’t take the help that was offered to him. As an adult, I think of all the Christian politicians who vote against food stamps and I want to tell them “You were the boat captain but you steered away from the man in need instead of offering him help. Is that really what God wanted you to do?”

[tigersdonteatgrass]

[postpresence]

[bill-11b]

Oh. My. Fuck. 

[bestpresidentna-deactivated2017]

This is one of those things you do as a parent bc ur an asshole and know that your kid doesn’t know any better and you know that like fine wine this is only going to get funnier with age, like a great big bottle of uncorked shame

[angelbabyspice]

I’m making my kid do this

[greatestbastard]

[holdthepossum]

[discovered]

[immediately mocked by scientists]

[frostyknickers]

me as a discovery

[slavetomyheadcanon]

How can you not include the video?

@lordcephalopod

[spam-bot]

THEY’RE ROASTING HIM

[merriweatherpostpaviliontshirt]

i share a soul with this opossum

[ourstrangeduet]

Men are bus schedules

[quadriceps-deactivated20171230]

how

[ourstrangeduet]

Always lying

[zfrostyfoo-deactivated20160203]

[molebucks-deactivated20150826]

[niaphonics]

who wanna be my baby daddy so I can give this to you

[wewanthappinessback-deactivated]

[onlytwitterpics]

[twitterlols]

[lipglosslut]

they broke up

[stunningpicture]

I noticed some writing on my godfather’s shirt. I asked him to please hold still so I could read it. Well, then.

[persephonesecretlair]

I need this shirt.

[qualitees]

I found it online here!

[aristocratic-bohemian]

I want this shirt lol

[prettyboyhaikyu]

I love this shirt

[buttermilkbaddie-deactivated202]

Everytime I saw this and thought it said “grandfather” and I was like why is no one talking about the grandfather is fit af but…nvm lol

[foggysandwichcollector-blog]

Omg I did too

[gymnrat6969]

Hey, grandpa’s can be just as fit and horny as you young guys. And we know all the moves too!!!

[itsagifnotagif]

Wtf