Spiteful Heart

The home of original party banter - among other things

[dellamortal]

Blackwall: Strange, isn’t it? Seeing what became of the Inquisition after all these years.

Harding: Sometimes it still feels like I’m waiting for another scout to report in.

Blackwall: Old habits and all that?

Harding: Yeah. Though I miss when our biggest problem was Sera stealing jam from the pantry.

Blackwall: Simpler times.

Harding: Were they actually simpler, or were we just younger?

Blackwall: Fair point.

[dellamortal]

Dorian: I looked through your library last night and found three separate volumes on Nevarran funerary rites. I’m not sure whether to be impressed or deeply alarmed.

Emmrich: Only three? Oh, I must be missing several.

Dorian: That is somehow the more concerning answer.

Emmrich: Knowledge is rarely concerning in itself.

Dorian: Spoken like a man who has never opened a cursed Tevinter manuscript at two in the morning.

Emmrich: (Chuckles) An amateur mistake.

Dorian: I was twenty-one, and unsupervised.

Emmrich: A dangerous thing at any age.

[mohntilyet]

imagine being illario and finally finding the resolve to kill your cousin right. you seduce and fuck a blood mage venatori magister to get her to do this for you. you figure you’ll eventually kill her once you are first talon, tie up the loose end and make it look good for you. a vengeance story! except when your cousin’s body shows up your grandma retreats into herself presumably out of grief and you’re like jesus christ he’s a corpse and still the favorite. at this point you start feeling some regret and at the wake you’re beside yourself. it helps to be really feeling some of that to fool everyone else. but months pass and your grandma still isn’t even discussing the inheritance and you have to be normal because you don’t want to incriminate yourself. and then a year later some random guy (worse if its a de riva tbh) shows up saying they need your cousin to kill an elven god (what.) and he’s the only one who could (insulting). and its at this point your grandma is like “lucanis died… but he is not dead!”. record scratch freezeframe. while you juggle with the fact that the freak woman you fucked specifically to get her to kill your cousin didn’t even kill your cousin AND your grandma didn’t bother telling you (for good reason ofc but she doesn’t know that), you have to lead these assholes to go save him and unravel your hard work. so plan b. you kidnap your grandma and push your (now possessed) cousin away (and then get mad when he actually walks away. because you’re like this). and when your cousin comes dangerously close to figuring out what’s happened with you and the magister, you kill the magister. you ally with those elven gods and venatori (you aren’t sure how you’re going to get out of this one but it’s fine. that’s a hill for future illario) to make sure you have enough backing to stand up against the other houses if they challenge you becoming first talon. you continue to gaslight your cousin into staying away, because if there is one thing you can count on, it’s his literal inner demons and total lack of a support group, you’re certain he’ll fuck it up by himself. you know this because his support group used to be your grandma (dubious) and yourself (lol). you’re almost home free. and caterina will definitely acknowledge you as a player on the board. which isn’t important but it would be nice, right. BUT THEN IT TURNS OUT. YOUR COUSIN HAS RECENTLY MADE 7 FRIENDS. one of whom can speak to the fucking dead because of course he can. and then some of those friends show up to publicly humiliate you at the dinner party that should have been YOUR crowning moment. your grandma ALSO shows up to tell everyone you have gathered that your cousin is first talon. your cousin gapes at her because he doesn’t actually even want it so it’s kind of awkward for everyone. and then when you’re sure he’s about to ask viago de riva to poison you to death, he actually tells him just to take you away. because OF COURSE he’s being the bigger person. anyways the point is i’m surprised illario just lets himself be taken away because if i were him i would have started biting people and then bombed the villa

[dellamortal]

I am DECEASED 🤣

[dellamortal]

Aveline: You let people get away with a great deal for a detective.

Neve: I work in Dock Town. If I arrested everyone breaking the law, I’d be the only person left.

Aveline: That’s not especially reassuring.

Neve: It’s practical.

Aveline: There’s a difference between practical and permissive.

Neve: There’s also a difference between Kirkwall and Minrathous.

Aveline: Fair enough. I’m not sure I envy you either way.

[dellamortal]

Has anyone ever noticed Mila's cute running animation in Veilguard? She's adorable and precocious and I wish we could adopt her so she could come to the Lighthouse and she could play with Assan and tell Spite off when he's being annoying and dress Manfred up because she worries he'll get cold.

[wolfsong-the-bloody-beast]

[dellamortal]

Shale: The bone construct follows orders well, which already makes it preferable to many of the squishy creatures.

Emmrich: I shall pass your compliment along to Manfred.

Shale: It was not a compliment.

Emmrich: Ah. My mistake.

Shale: Though I will admit, it has refrained from screaming, whining, or attempting poetry, which is admirable.

Emmrich: He has excellent manners.

Shale: A rare and precious quality.

[dellamortal]

Cole: Sharp thoughts behind careful silence. Spite pacing circles beneath them, restless and running and wrathful.

Lucanis: You couldn't have simply said he is irritated, no?

Lucanis (Spite): Hungry. Bored.

Cole: He likes when you cook. The kitchen feels warm instead of watchful.

Lucanis: That may be the first sensible thing either of you has said today.

Lucanis (Spite): More. Sugar pastries. Sweet. Good.

Lucanis: No. Absolutely not.

[broodwoof]

reblog if you are veilguard positive!

i've found my little zone in fandom that i'm comfortable in, but it occurs to me that others are still struggling to find the people who actually enjoy this game! and who talk about it!

so please do reply or reblog if you're veilguard positive and talk about it uwu

[dirtybiowareconfessions]

Confession: girl help whenever i take out an enemy in veilguard and lucanis compliments me on my kill it activates my voice kink and my praise kink and my brain short circuits from how horny it makes me i think i hauve the blight

[dellamortal]

Good one, Rook!

You never fail to impress, Rook!

Impressive, Rook!

Rook, that's amazing!

Save a little for the rest of us, Rook!

Beautiful, Rook!

Maker help me I die from swooning too hard every time I hear these.

[dellamortal]

(After 'The Cobbled Swan Case' is complete)

Dorian: You talk about Aelia with a remarkable amount of restraint for someone who quite clearly wants to throttle her.

Neve: Experience.

Dorian: Ah, yes. The cornerstone of all healthy professional relationships.

Neve: In my line of work, if you throttled everyone who deserved it, you’d never get anything done.

Dorian: Minrathous truly does produce the most practical cynics.

[dellamortal]

Quick PSA before the Varric banter drops (first one is coming 14th June!), I know there was an article about Varric's potential nicknames for the Veilguard companions (link!) but I've actually come up with my own. Hope you all enjoy when they come out! 😊

[dellamortal]

(After 'Walking the Graves' is compete)

Nathaniel: You’re unusually comfortable around death for a man who fears it so much.

Emmrich: Fear and fascination are often very close companions.

Nathaniel: Most people spend their lives avoiding the subject entirely.

Emmrich: Indeed, but those who do so eventually discover that avoidance changes very little.

Nathaniel: A Grey Warden learns that quickly enough.

Emmrich: I imagine you do. Though perhaps more violently than most.

[dellamortal]

Would everyone be super mad at me if I wrote some banter between Varric and the Veilguard companions 👀

[wolfsong-the-bloody-beast]

Lucanis on his way to kill my bad thoughts.

[dellamortal]

Thought this said *bed* thoughts and wondered if Lucanis was judging us 🙃

[dellamortte]

Spite is my problem.

[dellamortal]

Cole: Splintering wood beneath careful hands, carving to keep them steady. If the knife keeps moving, the thoughts stay quieter.

Davrin: That obvious, am I?

Cole: Tired in the bones, deeper than sleep fixes. Wardens carry it differently.

Davrin: We carry a lot of things differently.

Cole: But you still laugh when Assan steals your gloves.

Davrin: Someone has to enjoy himself around here.

Cole: It helps more than you think.