Untitled

[dashingwishes]

Why is your url washingdishes with the w and d switched ?

My URL does not stand for Washing dishes.

[90stvqueen]

mpreg

since no one seems to be happy with lgbt, mogai, or any other acronym or umbrella term, i came up with a new one that i think is gonna cover all our bases:

mpreg = marginalized people of romantic, erotic and gender

[teamnowalls-deactivated20180918]

this post came into my house and killed my family in front of me

[trapcard]

someone saying “hey what you are doing is racist/sexist/transphobic/etc” isn’t them being mean it’s literally them trying to help you improve and make sure YOU don’t perpetuate shit that gets US killed.

[gungan-gundam]

I’ll do whatever I please, I don’t care about your sensibilities.

[trapcard]

Excuse me! miss Photog Miss Anime Disney Dabbler! Miss. Bad-azz!!! Dr. XD Randomness!!

[commmunismkills]

UGH of course they blacklisted feet on Google search

[commmunismkills]

the only thing I hate more than communism is not getting my feet pics. where’s mama’s feet at??

[get-elain-a-horse]

I tumblr! My name is Elaine. You can see me in this picture! That is me holding the sign, HI! Well my hubby said that if this gets 1 MILLION notes, he will buy me a horse. I would love a horse I grew up on a farm where I rode and ate horses til i was 15 when I moved. I have not seen a horse since, not even a picture! Only one painting I painted in 7th grade. My husband obviously thinks this is going to be an impossible task thats why I am taking this on the interwebs where i can get likes. I have 5,000 on facebook so I am almost there. I want brown horse with some white. I will braid the hair. Thanks so much everyone! Please help me achieve this! :) God Bless

[nayx-deactivated20200109]

this post has been around since before the precambrien era and we aren’t even close. this website is useless

[fishingboatproceeds]

I really, really had to take a shit when this photo was being taken. Seconds later I relieved myself in a small potted plant.

[astrocyte-deactivated20171202]

shawn mendes: “i know I can treat you better than he can and any girl like you deserves a gentleman”

me:

[logarto]

boys who are into oviposition (≧ω≦)

[selli-hiddenite]

You mean like a massive, aggressive bug woman taking me, laying eggs inside of me, and staying with me until they’re ready to be taken out?

And I’d be so full that I’d have to rest against her massive, bloated abdomen, which is yearning to fill me with more?

[logarto]

oh i definitely deserved this

[somvei]

freaks and geeks (s01e07)

[lilteardrop]

Uhh no? Stupid muggle ass bitch…

[antiandrogen]

Lmfaoo

[demonessdollie-deactivated20180]

Friendly not-straight/not-cis reminder

If you don’t feel comfortably saying you’re part of the LGBT+ community due to the very toxic online environment seen on social media (”OMG JUST DIE, THIS IS A BAD POST” or *sends death threat because you introduced I’m unfamiliar with* anything like this), there’s tons of alternative communities you can say you’re apart of.

1. GLOW (gay lesbian or whatever)

2. GSM (gender sexuality minorities)

3. RASGKL (responsibility and sexuality gender kink legality)

4. SAGA (sexuality and gender acceptance)

5. GOLBAT (gay omnisexual lesbian bisexual asexual transgender)

These are just a few alternatives. Some college campuses have taken these alternative names as well (aka “it’s not just a tumblr/reddit/whatever” thing). 

[effexors-deactivated20180324]

i’m suing op for pain and suffering caused by reading this post

[dlubes]

I’m 99% sure all of these are the names of sonic games

[trapcard]

OP is making a good point yall some haters #GOLBATandproud

[peoplegettingreallymadatfood]

[zsnes]

pissy shitties two

[patrick-universe]

Testimony, I’m very happy and deeply appreciate the great truthful powerful spell caster who saved my marriage from divorce, he brought back my ex beautiful wife with kids within 24 hours, contact ID. [email protected]. phone number  [phone]. He will never disappoint you and very reliable, thank you sir for saving my marriage.   

[peoplegettingreallymadatfood]

pissy shitties two’s impact

[grimeclown]

 “hi welcome to mcdonalds what can i get for you?”

“yeah can i get a deluxe quarter pounder with cheese?”

“absolutely, do you want the meal or just the sandwich?’

“uuuuuh hold on”

*fishes something out of my pocket*

“mikey what do i do?”

“get the fries. youll need the energy in the coming days”

*stuffs it back in my pocket*

“uhh yes please  the meal would be great”

[carbink]

reblog to get sued instantly

[action52]

me when i activate my telekinesis

[did-you-know]

On the Pottermore website, J.K. Rowling explains how wizards poop. There’s an excerpt about the Chamber of Secrets that says wizards didn’t need toilets because they ‘simply relieved themselves where they stood, and vanished the evidence.’ Source Source 2

[w-r-o-u-g-h-t]

i fucking hate jk rowling so much because years and years after this franchise has ended she is still continuing trying to make it bad to the point where she said that every character in harry potter canonically shits themselves and then casts a shit vanishing spell 

[zahnegott]

fuck this is b a d

[postingmachine9000]

This reminds me of the hufflepuff group masturbation tweets

[gun-toting-greyshades-deactivat]

The what?

[postingmachine9000]

[drinkpisspissblood]

[stinkibabi]

Just imagine you’re taking a test for potions with Snape and the guy sitting next to you just fucking shits himself the nastiest, slimiest shit of his life out of stress. And you literally have to sit there with a straight face while fuckin Todd JingleJangles cleans himself up in the dead quiet room with some stupid ass line like “vanish me poopum” and you just gotta live with the knowledge that some kid just shit himself beside you during a fucking test.

[comcastsuggestions]

LISTEN THE HECK UP YOU GUYS.

AND LET ME TEACH YOU A THING ABOUT MY NEW FAVORITE CELEBRITY, BRIAN ROBERTS. 

He’s the CEO of Comcast, but GET THIS: HES ACTUALLY REALLY HECKING RAD.

I know, hearing he’s a CEO of a billion dollar company immediately makes you think he’s greedy, but he actually DONATED 76000 DOLLARS TO DEMOCRATS. 

 YES. 

 DEMOCRATS. 

 NOT REPUBLICANS. 

 AND HE SUPPORTS HILLARY. JUST LIKE US.

He also supports the affordable health care act.

You know, OBAMACARE?

HE SUPPORTS OBAMACARE YOU GUYS. 

And people will say, what? He’s still a rich old white guy. How is he any different from, say, Trump? 

Well I say, he’s completely different from trump.

He’s not racist, homophobic, aphobic, OR a terf. 

He’s just a cute bean trying to make his way in the world. He worked HARD for all his money, and works harder than any of his employees. 

And he has three kids, so we know he’s also a super sweet dad.

Plus…he’s super hecking cute. 

Move over markiplier, i think i just found my newest celeb crush. 

SO.

HE SUPPORTS HILLARY, DONATES TO DEMOCRATS, LOVES OBAMACARE, IS HECKA CUTE, AND OWNS THE BEST CABLE COMPANY IN THE WORLD?!

SIGN ME THE FRICK UP.

[lesbianrey]

he’s not valid

[nepofledgling]

who isn’t?

[lesbianrey]

the nsa agent reading this :)

[hytheter]

Imagine working hard all day, doing what you can to keep the citizens of your country safe, getting home and thinking “time to unwind! I might check my tumblr dash” only to find this

[lesbianrey]

i diagnose you with bitch

[cheaphalloweencostume]

imagine being a grown adult NSA agent and being sincerely wounded by a tumblr post saying youre not valid

[clover-ernest]

I just imagined So many scenarios to cause that grief. Like… What if the NSA agent was Trans? And he checks his Tumblr dash to find a long-ass post of reblogs saying he’s not valid. Or What if the guy is already being harassed at work, being told “Kill yourself” “You’re nothing.” “You’ll never belong here with us.” And he comes home to spend the evening with his 2 daughters and son, as he’s an only parent, and his youngest daughter shows him this post that says, “He’s not valid.” [Who’s not valid?] “The NSA agent reading this.” And then he goes and takes his hunting rifle and goes out into his backyard, positions the barrel beneath his chin, and empties a shell. He left behind a son and 2 girls, because a tumblr post pushed him over the edge because of his work environment.

[jonbutter]

what if the nsa agent had 3 weeks left to live and his make-a-wish was to be valid

[cheaphalloweencostume]

congrats on making this post infinitely funnier than I could’ve ever hoped to. im sorry I didnt consider this fictional NSA agents fictional children he had because his fictional wife left him

[indeprivable]

You’re scrolling through your dash, one of your popular mutuals made a textpost. ‘Give me kins reccs,’ it says. You reply in hopes of impressing them, they ignore your contribution. You refresh your dash. New textpost. ‘I’m Mikan from Danganronpa now. No fakes.’ You take a deep breath, that’s one of your unlisted IDs. You ponder if you should drop her or not.. Just then, you get an ask, it’s from your QPP. It reads: ‘Hey Justin is kin with Mikan now and doesn’t like fakes so i have to block you, sorry!’ You try to tell them you’re dropping Mikan, but it’s too late, they already put you on their BYF as their abuser. You cry.

[indeprivable]

you weren’t meant to relate to this