The 'Greater' Desert Bluffs Metropolitan Area

[homunculus-argument]

Was thinking about how weird it is that in a lot of the west "chinese food" is just considered one thing. Not like any specific meal or dish, your favourite food is just this entire cuisine in general. What if that was a thing for like finnish food.

Your favourite food is finnish food. You go to a buffet and it's all a bunch of ambiguous casseroles. There's liver casserole and beet casserole, potato casserole, sweet potato casserole and macaroni casserole because there's nothing that these fucking people won't turn into a casserole. If your man goes to the bathroom and doesn't come back, it's because the cook caught him and he is currently being turned into a casserole.

[manynarrators]

I have decided that Shemesh, my hc for the DBCR cat, is a Persian, potentially with some Himalayan in her. With some signature… oddities of course, that’s just the way a cat is. Her tentacles and spine ridges are the same blue as her eyes, and it’s all nearly invisible under the mountain of fur.

Shemesh is sort of a cross between a cat, an eldritch monster, and a cotton ball, and Kevin adores her.

(The wide eyes that look like they’re staring into your soul and reading your future are a feature!)

(In Night Vale, when he’s hiding in the bathroom making sure Khoshekh’s kittens are alright, he doesn’t know their names, and so gives them ones of ancient empires so he keep track of them).

[brownnesscrew]

[accelerationist-king-piccolo]

If you have Edison lights you automatically get the guillotine.

[bgm05]

this place has a burger that’s topped with like 3 other kinds of meat and tastes like nothing but liquid smoke

[captain-cargoshorts]

guacamole is offered for $1.75

[saxifraga-x-urbium]

they have a sign up telling you no Wi-Fi talk to each other but they also want you to follow them on Instagram

[saint-batrick]

they have a $17 burger that has “deconstructed” in its description.

[jonlybonlyfromboldlygo]

All of the beverages are served in mason jars and the only straws they provide, on request, are dry pasta

[cumaeansibyl]

Menus printed on brown paper that’s meant to look low-fi but actually costs $40 a ream

[sunnymeddows]

Some weird chalk art that no one can read makes up half the drink menu

[smallrat36wagon-deactivated2021]

theres a dead rat inside the bread bowl soup you order

[telemitosis-moved]

they wheel a dessert cart to the table and its just blood and bones and cartilage and hair

[nick-nonya]

If you turn around after you leave you’ll see that the restaurant building has become run down and abandoned

Do not go back in.

[desert-bluffs-ikea]

well we here at Ikea, for one, think she is lovely.

[unorcadox]

Remain calm!  Do not worry!  Think positive!  Stay calm!  Don’t panic!  It’s OK!  All is according to plan!

[ghostreveries]

Beautiful weapons from VTdaggers. 

[vikingofficial-deactivated20241]

Calling all people food "human food" to be sinister and cause mayhem

[desert-bluffs-ikea]

Human meat, what a treat @ IKEEEEAAAAA

[funny-tik-toks]

"Get Out" of IKEA

[derpyanimatesstuff]

[argumate]

the human stress response seems so maladaptive!

[cargopantsman]

To be fair 99% of our evolutionary stress response was meant to deal with far more immediately conclusive scenarios than the tedious bullshit we put up with these days.

[argumate]

very very slow tigers are chasing me

[yellbug]

not to leave a serious comment on a silly post but one of the best pieces of advice I ever got about stress was to SLEEP but secondly, when overwhelmed, lay in a bed and intentionally hold all your muscles clenched. clench EVERYTHING. hold it for a few seconds, then let go. It tricks your animal fight-or-flight monkey brain into thinking it had, and won, a fight, and some of the stress response will leave you

[creekfiend]

#turn a slow tiger into a fast tiger with this fucked up trick

[headspace-hotel]

“Very very slow tigers are chasing me” is the most hysterical way I’ve ever heard my state of being described

[abigail-rytel]

Humans are persistence predators and then created deadlines and out-persistence predator’d ourselves

[slab-o-meat]

*over the loudspeaker at ikea* FIRST BLOOD

[amongthespaghetti]

i think if i, in the flesh, heard that in an ikea some primal part of me would break out and smash a norrnäs over the closest person’s head

[desert-bluffs-ikea]

there’s an idea~

[oracle-of-nightvale]

IKEA, please no, I’m just here for the meatballs

[desert-bluffs-ikea]

: )

[oracle-of-nightvale]

Wh-what’s in these meatballs?

[desert-bluffs-ikea]

UwU

[slab-o-meat]

*over the loudspeaker at ikea* FIRST BLOOD

[amongthespaghetti]

i think if i, in the flesh, heard that in an ikea some primal part of me would break out and smash a norrnäs over the closest person’s head

[desert-bluffs-ikea]

there’s an idea~

[oracle-of-nightvale]

IKEA, please no, I’m just here for the meatballs

[desert-bluffs-ikea]

: )

[slab-o-meat]

*over the loudspeaker at ikea* FIRST BLOOD

[amongthespaghetti]

i think if i, in the flesh, heard that in an ikea some primal part of me would break out and smash a norrnäs over the closest person’s head

[desert-bluffs-ikea]

there’s an idea~

[slab-o-meat]

*over the loudspeaker at ikea* FIRST BLOOD

[amongthespaghetti]

i think if i, in the flesh, heard that in an ikea some primal part of me would break out and smash a norrnäs over the closest person’s head

[desert-bluffs-ikea]

there's an idea~

[horriblytasty]

[randomitemdrop]

Item: Spicy Corn Chip 3-in-1 Body Wash Shampoo & Conditioner

[lesbianshepard]

everyone shut the fuck up about literally anything else because today is a national holiday

[ferallindsay]

a decade babey

[snyggvur]

She just shared this on IG 😭💕

[potaosoup-deactivated20260305]

believe in a smiling god

[your-daily-desert-weather]

A brief broadcast:

There's just no place like a warm hole in the ground, stuffed to the brim with corn!

[midsummernightmemes]

Reblog if you’re a roleplayer between ages 21 to 29.

under 18 | 18 to 21 | 21 - 29 | 30s | 40s | 50s | 60s | 70+