Dice Dame

I'm just a gal who plays tabletop RPGs with my gal pals (and sometimes blokes). This blog is about our adventures, our funny ass quotes, and cool art.

[nerds-in-wonderland]

TTRPG Sunday~~~ 🧚🏻‍♀🧝🏻‍♂🧙🏻‍♂

[herd-reject-arts]

So I'm leaving work and something darts in front of me, maybe 10ft away, too fast for me to see what it is. Peek around the tree blocking my path and I see this

Just like... a whole ass hawk. Dude's gotta be about 1.5ft tall. Massive fucking bird. And it's just staring me straight in my soul like this, even as I try to move ahead. It didn't budge. And there's only this path back to my car unless I want to walk on a busy highway. So I have the option of Death By Raptor or Death By Truck.

So I walk in the poison ivy filled patch off the sidewalk. Guy still isn't moving. Still staring me directly in the eyes. And I do this thing when animals are behaving strangely where I'll talk to them, so I'm just like, "Hey, man. I don't know you. You don't know me. This feels really threatening. I'm just trying to get to my car, dude. Can I get some space please? You're a big fucking bird. I see those claws. You could kill me right now, but I'd appreciate if you didn't, ok?"

It didn't move until I was about 2ft away. Again: I'm as far from it as I can be without walking into the street. It clearly wasn't going to budge. I walk past, thing flies up (silent, btw. Scary) and lands on a brick wall a little further ahead

Anyway. Weird guy. Nearly shit my pants when I noticed a bird big enough to carry off a fully grown cat was just... there, staring me in the face, unwilling to move away from me, a human, something it should see as a threat. I watched behind me the whole rest of the way to my car, just in case this bird decided to help me shed this mortal coil. 10/10 experience. Super cool guy.

[is-the-owl-video-cute-deactivat]

This is so funny because that’s a freshly-fledged juvenile red tailed hawk.

It didn’t leave simply because it didn’t really know the giant gorilla thing walking towards it was a threat. You were menaced by what amounts to a teenager who just passed their driving test just chilling under a tree.

This thing weighs all of 1 pound and barely knows it’s a bird.

[roach-works]

the bird got a nat20 on intimidation from a die it knocked off the desk

[widdershinswombat]

Buy yours here! I read an article about the ongoing toxic culture of the book-banning that reported on an accusation that school libraries are the "arm of Satan," and this image just popped into my head. Librarians and library workers need loud, public, and unrelenting support right now and you can do your part by flaunting this shirt and pissing off some Karens. I plan to donate half my profits from this to my local library association. The other half will go towards buying me and my fellow library workers a lot of chocolate.

[memeclassheroes]

[knightwithakay]

larper in quarantine update:

Fridge magnets stick to spring steel.

I will advertise my intentions.

I’m going to be the best-dressed bastard on the field.

[frostedpuffs]

iM???? kkshd;bgdjsmmsnd;sn;

[threshie]

An orc wrote this.

[nameless-inklings]

An orc who knows how to treat a lady

[widdershinswombat]

And this is Hamish, my sweet Firbolg Rogue from @bodhilicious 's campaign❤️

[widdershinswombat]

I've been using my gift from @bodhilicious to learn digital illustration! This is a Yuan-ti Pureblood Storm Sorcerer that I made for an Ottoman Inspired campaign. Her name is Sarnai, her snake friend is Sukanya, and I used Megan Thee Stallion's Rolling Stone photo shoot as inspo/reference.

[starlinedsword-deactivated20240]

i feel like people confuse 'railroading' with 'playing a character that is contributing to the collaborative narrative'

like. if you're playing cos. you make a character that fits the genre or defies the genre in an interesting way and that either has a motivation to kill strahd or a way to gain that motivation.

otherwise you're going to be bored and unhappy because why isn't the narrative working for your funny little guy or you're going to be forcing your dm to work overtime to MAKE it fit which is work they shouldn't have to do.

if your dm gives you good information on the game you're playing and what the genre and overall energy of the game is, it is your own goddamn fault if you're not having fun because you didn't meet them halfway and want to engage in the story they want to tell with you

[fanonical]

it is a truth universally acknowledged by all dms that if you give your players two ways to solve a problem, they will find a third and probably a fourth

[mctreeleth]

“…of course people put into a fictional circumstance are going to want to fight, because the idea of being able to express rage without consequence is such a cathartic thing for people who most often swallow rage.”

— Brennan Lee Mulligan, on having the fights in D&D that you don’t get to have in real life

[funnytwittertweets]

[themauvesoul]

Hate diet culture so much bitches will b like “don’t eat processed carbs they’re so bad for you” like and??? So what?? God did not give us grain and stone to grind it with for no reason. Bread is inevitable. Bread is food for the heart and the soul. U think I’m gonna give that up in pursuit of instagram fitness?? U think I’m gonna deny myself the simple pleasure of toast with jam so I can endlessly chase an ever-shifting standard of beauty that ultimately means nothing? In 20 years I will no longer be beautiful and in 60 my body will be vacant food for other, smaller creatures. But the taste of fresh bread? Of homemade donuts and still-warm pie? I will carry the taste on my tongue into whatever follows this life. So like. Stop telling me I should diet lmao. I’m not abt to martyr myself just to get a man to look at me.

[mockiatoh]

Op genuinely thank you for this

[onewhoturns]

Tags via @hoteggbabushka

[pixie-lated]

"video games have buffering"

one of the DMs I play with has, like, 70 slips of paper that say, "Loading," with bits of random D&D mechanics advice ("partial cover grants +2 to AC") that he slots onto his DM screen when he needs to look something up, assemble something, or think up a mechanic for player bullshit.

[apptowonder]

The other day I typed in chat to my players, “DM.exe is loading coffee”

[dajo42]

ORC PRIDE FLAG

GREEN OF ORC

RED OF BLOOD OF ORC

BROWN OF DIRT

pink :)

[the-orc]

pink :)

[brightlotusmoon]

[radiofreederry]

[max1461]

Please, the Zweihänder is a specialist weapon for breaking pike formations. Are your coworkers in a pike formation? Are they blocking your advance with a wall of thorny death? No? Then what the hell is a Zweihänder gonna do?

Really wanna fuck up your coworkers? Halberd from the elevator. Polearms have the range you need. Doors open, skewer Steve from accounting, doors close. Ride it back down, doors open, skewer Laura at the front desk. Back up, open doors, stab Jason, repeat. They call security? You’ve got feet of range on that motherfucker. Dinky little baton ain’t shit next to a Halberd. I’ve pulled the old elevator Halberd at five, six of my jobs over the years and they never see it coming. Until it’s too late, that is. Just a little tip for ya. Keep the change.

[theboombutton]

Please do note that halberds, because of their asymmetric weight distribution, will be most effective in workplaces with open office plans where there’s room to wind up again after a chop. If your workplace is dominated by narrow hallways, you may find the glaive more effective due to its superior maneuverability.