it's deancas hours lads

em, xxvii, butch, pisces / formerly localwhiskeylez / vampire academy (2007, 2014, 2022) / olympic champion rebeca andrade 🇧🇷

[zvaigzdelasas]

Alright I'll bite. What's a new York

[mortalityplays]

btw you will miss this in 5 or 10 years. memory will smooth these circumstances down like a river stone, and you will find yourself longing for a shade of light or a moment of this particular innocence. you don't know about what happens next, and one day that will be the most alluring thing of all. don't leave it all for nostalgia. have a nice night now, whatever night it happens to be.

[mortalityplays]

yeah okay sure. "you will look back on this fondly" is suicide bait. "have a nice night" is suicide bait. fuck it. feeling sociopathic today, might even smile at a stranger. they'll never catch me.

[noodleincident]

every day my pathologies are vindicated

[spiralatria]

'minion' -too closely associated with those yellow things

'goon' -linguistic drift gave her a new meaning. i hope her new life is good for her. i miss her.

'henchman' -too gendered. can be shortened to 'hench' in a pinch, but lacks punch.

'servant' -too domestic to apply to all those who serve evil.

'underling, subordinate' -this one only works if they get off on being beneath you and/or you don't properly pay your workers.

'associate' -this one's good for grizzled mercenaries or lone agents but doesn't work good for broad swathes of an organization.

'slave' -same as underling but more intense. really fun for some of the group. unsavory for others in a way that limits the scope of the thing.

'thrall' -only really applies if you're brainwashing them and that's not something i've learned how to do en masse yet

'flunky, toady, stooge, lackey' -these are just insulting, and that isn't conducive to a healthy work environment. imagine going to work and your job title is 'stooge'.

'acolyte' -works for those that worship you, but again. lacks the scope.

'supporter, follower' -unspecific and vague

'assistant, helper, aide' -not sinister at all. just means you're doing things for me. swagless in this manner. could be good if used to describe someone who's so clearly more that as a way to emphasize their obedience via understatement, but that's only useful for a few members of the organization. and even then, 'associate' works better.

'cohort' -untested in the field. suggests an equal footing in the affair, ideal for post-structuralist evil organizations with a bottom-up power structure that's held in the hands of the evil workers themselves. perhaps we'll explore it together?

[animentality]

[memeufacturing-deactivated20161]

me: your hair is so messed up haha you should , like,go look in a.. Uh… vampire: Look in a what ? me: uhhhhh vampire: I want to hear you say it

[haloemoji]

Destiel feels like a fever dream but it wasn’t. It was real and it created jobs

[calcifershearts]

what happened to hello. what happened to good morning.

[voyage-of-the-porn-spreader]

tgis is so fucking funny to me. they accidentally Rock Lee'd a retired racehorse

[voyage-of-the-porn-spreader]

imagine youre a fat horse and your new neighbour is a personal trainer

[owa-tagoo-siam]

[homunculus-argument]

The best part of tumblr is that you could make a poll like "how did you find out that the pope just got assassinated?" with different news sources listed and "from reading this poll wtf" as the last option, and watch how 100% of the answers are the last one, because there's no better use for this site than lying recreationally.

[godtrials]

[anosci]

there's been plenty of pushback against youtube's plan to age-check users by using an AI to analyze everyone's watching habits, but amidst that, i spotted this playlist circulating among some teens:

(picture is a reconstruction to protect the kids identity)

interesting! they're trying to trick the AI by watching videos that have a primarily adult viewer demographic? well im a curious fella so naturally i have to take a look-see, and

[hotvampireadjacent]

I was reading something about Whitestown, Indiana and my eyes nearly popped out of my head thinking it was one of THOSE comically racist towns. Nice to know, at least the name, wasn’t that.

[apricops]

Racisttown, named after the abolitionist Stopbeing Racist,

[flyfeline]

That's nothing. Check THIS shit out

[hotvampireadjacent]

WHAT THE HELL

[duckily]

[biglawbear]

George Washington Hitler and his son Dr. Gay Hitler,

[hotvampireadjacent]

This post has been getting notes for like 4 times longer than the shitty job that I was thinking about whitestown for

[maddie-grove]

I really like this website because somebody will be like “there’s nothing wrong with darting out from behind a parked car into traffic, bootlicker” and you can be like okay this clearly evolved from a valid point about how the US is too car-centric. But something happened to it.

[jamiemccrimmon]

[peachdoxie]

horror is always like oh no they're possessed by a demon well what about possessed by an angel? angelic possession is also horror.

[carolinskyy]

That's scarier I think. To know the possession is Necessary. That any attempt to stop it will lead to greater tragedy as the angel's divine mission is interrupted. So you just have to sit there. And watch something else puppet your friend's body.

[4c-aperture]

#love it when people on this website inadvertently reinvent supernatural

[klapollo]

i seriously cannot comprehend the sex drive that makes one exclusively horny for captain america looking movie hunks or the victorias secret angel archetype of tall underweight women with generically pretty faces in bikinis. that shit is like carbon monoxide or infrasonic noise to my libido like my sexual senses cant even clock it