behold my ugly
h
occasionally subtle

izzy's playlists!

if i look back, i am lost

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Not today Justin
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Love Begins
Game of Thrones Daily
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Show & Tell
todays bird

JBB: An Artblog!
Cosmic Funnies
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

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@disasternation
behold my ugly
for me to be known is to be humiliated Lowkey
i love the way wei wuxian and jin guangyao have no relationship at all. like you've got your hero and you've got your villain and they're highly complementary characters who wind up being instrumental in each other's downfalls, and also they met like, what, four times? with zero one on one conversations? jin guangyao barely even bothers to manipulate wei wuxian during the temple showdown and wei wuxian watches jin guangyao die with all the emotion of someone who just noticed a dent in their car and is wondering how it got there
Don't leave that in the tags lol
#they are foils they are opposed they are both instrumental to absolutely tearing the others life#but they did not ever have a crumb of a relationship whether positive or negative (tags from @littlegreenmp3)
they really said i got no beef with you to each other while making mince meat out of each other's life
This is really never more apparent than when a fanfic author is writing a canon AU where the situation doesn't quite line up to the original events, and the author is presented with the problem of trying to make Wei Wuxian care enough to foil whatever Jin Guangyao's scheme is
we will always get through the bad times
hate it when you see something in media that has great kink potential so you skedoodle post-haste to ao3 only to discover there's none fic left beef and then you have to sit there going oh I see I'M the pervert weirdo I'M the problem with society and everyone else in the world is going to heaven with a hundred innocence dollars preloaded onto their ole fashioned wholesome funtimes themepark fast pass card like fuckin oath man
#particularly when its something you're not even actually into but its just so Obvious how could it Not be on ao3#but then it isnt. do you have a duty to place the fic in its rightful ecological niche just because you have the vision?#do you have to track down a perv of the appropriate disposition and gift it to them?#do you leave well enough alone even though you can See the absence like a wound in the side of Truth?
it’s rotten work. to me if it’s me.
big life tips dont be neurodivergent dont be poor dont get in any sort of situation and dont let yourself need or crave
not getting good reports back on your progress with this guys
its probably a normal sign for the economy that all of my adulthood fantasies are like "imagine having your own kitchen living room and bathroom to decorate" "what if i could get on a train" "maybe one day i could purchase a sturdy pair of shoes" "i should save and invest in a single bicycle"
it’s been ten years and i can confirm that everything still happens so much. happy anniversary king
being nonbinary is sick as fuck but sometimes there is also the isolation
it's something we think a lot about, this fact that the world just really doesn't accommodate for people that aren't Women or Men. there's an interview with sam smith (i think???) where they mention something about how they've just had to accept that people will always misgender them at first until corrected. and for us, even surrounded by people who care in a relatively safe environment, it still happens. we're used to it, but over and over, there's that assumption. if you're trans, you're the "opposite" of what you were assigned at birth. or you're basically just cisgender with a fun dash of side pronouns.
and, hell, sometimes we wish we were just a girl, just a guy, that we had a simple answer. that we didn't have to constantly be reminded that people will always see us as something we're not. that the answer was clear for us in how to navigate the world, legal/political hell aside.
and yet, even in good times, the concept of a gender neutral bathroom is still a punchline.
Why is it easier and more comfortable to sit in a position that actively damages my joints than it is to just sit with okay posture. Why does my body crave its own destruction
30 day free trial of being ok
when i was answering those asks i forgot a very important recurring mxtx character archetype: guy whose one special interest is beating the shit out of people
enough about the good things in wwx’s life, remember that time we were told how the burial mounds is nothing but a mountain of corpses where nothing living survives and wwx still lived there for 3 months and then when asked if food planted in that soil is edible he answered “when starving, people will eat anything” and didn’t elaborate? was that messed up or what
#this is why he and xichen would be good friends #they just drop the most fucked up traumatic shit and move on #like goddamn you see that shit? that was fucking crazy. anyway I’m rod serling #it’s that level of ummmmmm #hey xichen hey wwx let’s expand on that #and they’re both like no 💕 and play a gay little tune on their flutes #kings both of them (via @nieyao)
So. Just seeing more and more people not understand that the Yunmeng Jiang Sect was made up of actual people who need protection and Jiang Cheng could not have dropped everything for Wei Wuxian and the Wens.
"I wouldn't have acted like him-" Yes. You wouldn't have acted like him. Everyone else would have given up or fucked up somehow.
He chose his Sect and his people over Wei Wuxian. Deal with it.
no, i understand the only way out is through, i know this and i am very familiar with the concept and i have forced myself through and through and through and through, like an arrow to an apple; like a bird to the air. i push myself through mesh and sieve and stormdrain.
i am saying this thing is like stone to me. i am saying i have taken a pickaxe and a plow and a chisel and a spoon to it and i have made no dent or scratch in the surface. i have pushed and pushed, sisyphus beside me, and still my skin gave before the stone could.
i am telling you if there is a passage i do not see or some kind of clever way to thwart this enemy i'll take it. i've been up down and sideways of it, i've whispered to it and cajoled it and sang to it. i have tended to it like a kitten and i've kicked it to the curb. i have exhausted all available avenues and approaches as are available to me. i'll do whatever stupid fetch quest or answer the riddles three. i am standing here and every part of my body hurts and the stone is unmoved. please. if you know how to resolve this, i'm begging you.
and still, you say. the only way out is through.