20 Dodo/Ancient Chicken (as courtesy of @dewdrop828 they demanded credit) • he/she/they • england :/ ——— @foolblue decided to call me “Dodold Trump” because i didn’t put them in my bio so here bitch ——— just a minefield of my current obsessions with the odd meme ig welcome to my domain. ——— hit up my fics at @the-good-words-of-dodo or on AO3 at
@dodosindamnation
Janus walks over to the mirror, just tall enough for it to reflect back up to his hat if he stands a foot or two away. He looks without much thought at himself and brings a hand up where the scales lay on the skin of his face. The texture is a feeling he is used to.
With a heavy feeling and a clear of his throat, the scales roll back and everything else follows. A sort of grotesque transformation, "Hi," He said too deeply at first then he adjusted the pitch and said it again until it was corrected to a tone he deemed perfect. All greatness comes for a self-aware actor—or so he thinks. Is that a saying? "Look at you," and, "There you are." In a light but happy tone.
He leans forward and puts a hand on the surface of his reflection, "How have you been, buddy?" He says, "You're doing great!"
There's a mental script he has formulated over the years of cosplaying. He'd expect foolishness would've been easy to flesh out but the heart proves too unpredictable to be fully understood with a distance between him and it.
Additionally, he didn't think unpredictability can be contagious as he starts to show symptoms of what could only be fleeting moments of vulnerable nervousness not for its usual reasons but for the beats of... Affection—adoration? Janus is a liar of the best kind, but that has its limit until one just has to accept their weakness. Janus didn't view love as entirely a weakness but a source of it.
"Janus," His voice wavers—cringing, but it's the only method he found effective for his illness, "I—you—"
"What are you doing?" A steady voice broke from behind him. The click of the door shutting behind him made Janus bristle if the new presence wasn't enough to shock him, "...Janus?"
The alien expression of an annoyed frown gave him away. Logan will not pretend to know Patton, but he at least knew enough to know that expression is hardly... Effable on the moral side he knows.
"I'm doing not—nothing. What are you doing here? Hmm? Can't fool me!" He lost his rhythm, Logan thought sympathetically.
"I am here to return a book of Patton's," He raised a hand as if he's trying to calm a large animal down from perceiving him as danger, "But I suppose I should reprimand you for going against Patton's wishes?"
"I'm not doing that!"
"Then, may you tell me what is this 'gimmick?' you have going on?" Logan gestures a hand at him up and down.
"...it keeps me steady."
"Pardon?"
"Patton, telling me I did a good job makes me feel," He shakes his head like he juggled it for answers, "Grounded. There. That's your vulnerable fact of the day, 2 factor authenticator. Now, may we forget this wholesome scene you walked into?"
Logan was about to point out that the scene before him is closer to being a... 'cringefest' rather than a 'wholesome' one. But the deadly glare he receives the moment his mouth opened was enough to shut it up; still, "Does it work?"
"What?"
"Patton's affirmations... Does it really work?"
"Pfft, please, save me your pity. You get the most praise from dada out there," Janus hissed but Logan doesn't reply, "..you don't think he means it do you?"
"No, I do not think I should need it at all. I am logic, what I do should simply be what needs to be done whether the world falls apart now or not."
"Ah, so you've been dodging his praises like some scared cat receiving a meal from a stranger, huh?"
Logan remains unperturbed but doesn't deny it either—Janus has to laugh. Without another word, he steps forwards and reaches a hand out to Logan who's taken aback by the sudden need for touch. The touch isn't Patton either; it's too cold. Janus mouths something in the lines of, 'Calm it.' Logan swears he saw a swear word between too.
"Logan," His voice changed to the sweet Patton-like tone everyone knew, "You look tired. No wonder Thomas has been so productive. Of course it's you!"
Logan... Didn't know he was tired at all but from that alone he felt it wash over his body. He touches the hand on his cheek to Janus' surprise, "I am," He hushed, "You're right, Patton." He leaned into it.
Janus' stomach leaps and he immediately recoils, transforming back to his face, he coils an arm around himself, "Great," He coughed, "See? Works." His body reacted to the way Logan looked at him—looked at Patton.
"So it seems," Logan tries to not act disappointed for the sudden departure of warmth. But he knows better than to desire such things, "I should leave."
"Should've thought of that sooner, darling."
"Apologies," Logan turns his back and opens the door to leave only to be met with Patton passing by. They exchange a few words, likely clearing up why the logical side is nosing around Patton's room.
Patton's head popped up from the side of Logan's torso a few minutes during their ongoing conversation, "Oh, hi, Janus!" He waves and Janus waves back with less enthusiasm.
He looks up and observes a view he has never seen before.
An expression that is so miniscule and barely mattered.
But there is a change in the softness.
A change in the way his eyes wrinkled with a smile towards Patton.
Janus was the victim of it first and it seems he made the mistake of, accidentally, infecting Logan of it too. He knew that affection always existed way before he got close to Patton but he had just ignited it into existence... Now at the forefront of Logan's knowledge. And nothing is more dangerous than a logic that just knew.
Both of them hold peculiar feelings for the moral side and, now, both of them knew it too.
Logan: What you have just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
Roman: Ok, a simple "wrong" would have done just fine, but yeah.
this is the fastest anyone has ever updated a fic right? right. i know it (im kidding i suck this doesnt make up for my months of hiatus. or even, dare i say, years) ((one day ill touch the game one again. one day i swear))
read on ao3
The door opened with more of a bang than Logan intended, but he didn’t falter, rushing into the room.
Then, he froze.
His partner was awake, still in bed, sitting up in his pyjama shirt with wide eyes and startled, hair flat to his skull on one side and poking up at all angles on the other. Logan, despite his current burning, brothing rage at both twins, felt something in him soften just a little bit at the sight. Beside him, though, stood another figure. He was thin, his skin bloodless and his eyes piercing. He loomed over Roman almost possessively, standing just in front of him, glaring at Logan with his teeth bared and hiss hands curled into claws.
And, really, Logan could almost understand his housemates’ belief. There was something inhuman in his face, something terrifyingly predatory in his eyes and his stance, in the curl of his hands and the set of his shoulders, but in a way that looked… so natural for him. Logan’s blood was roaring in his ears and he wasn’t sure whether it was the lingering memory of the marks on Patton’s neck or the sudden hair-raising sensation of being in danger.
“Lo, babe, what’s going on?” Roman asked, his voice rough with sleep and sharp with something else.
“I take it this is Remus?” Logan asked, instead of answering the question. He couldn’t bring himself to tear his eyes from the man.
“You’re the boyfriend,” Remus snarled. Roman reached out to grab his wrist, and Logan’s eyes dropped to the hand, Roman’s fingers so much warmer and fuller than Remus’ arm looked. How could a man look so cold?
Logan heard Patton arrive behind him, his footsteps loud and his breathing heavy, and it knocked Logan out of whatever prey instinct had been gripping his mind and his limbs and he straightened his back.
“Oh, hey, guys! We having a house meeting?” he asked in a high-pitched squeak.
“I don’t know, Patty,” Roman answered. “Lo? Wanna tell me what’s going on?”
He couldn’t deny that the man was Remus — he was clearly Roman’s twin. And, he did look significantly younger. Not as healthy as the photos of Roman as a teenager, but the photos of Remus as a teenager showed him more gaunt anyway. Roman had told Logan about his brother’s drug problems throughout their adolescence, and, while Logan wasn’t one to stereotype, he’d always assumed Remus’ less healthy countenance was a byproduct of that. Not to mention the stress they each must have been suffering.
He sucked in a sharp, deep breath, putting the thoughts from his mind to focus on the current issue. “Roman, why didn’t you tell me Patton was hurt?”
Roman’s eyes widened and he began to stand. “You’re hurt?” he asked, moving closer even as Remus put out an arm to hold him back. “What happened?”
“Not— He, um— He saw the, uh…. the bruise. From the first night.”
His partner’s expression fell, and Remus somehow tensed further, his hand curling to grip Roman’s wrist behind him. “Oh,” Roman said.
“Oh?” shrieked Logan, battling desperately against the urge to tug at his hair. “Are you serious?”
“Logan, hold on,” Patton said soothingly. Logan felt his hand on his back, fingers light, like he was hesitating.
“It was an accident,” spat Remus, and Logan was sure he could see red. An accident? He said it like it meant nothing, like Patton wasn’t assaulted in his own home, in his own bedroom.
“You cannot cause injuries like that by accident. You were trying to kill him. It is by pure luck that you didn’t succeed.”
“I apologised!”
“That doesn’t make it okay!” yelled Logan. “People don’t get to just say sorry after hurting someone! That isn’t how it works. Saying sorry doesn’t change what you did.”
Remus scoffed, rolling his eyes, and Logan, for just a second, had to resist the urge to leap across the room at him.
“Logan, it’s okay,” Patton said softly behind him, and Logan whirled around to shoot him a glare. He jumped hard, eyes widening, but he didn’t flinch, which Logan was immeasurably glad of, because he was sure if he’d seen Patton flinch like he used to, years ago, it would have unearthed something deep and primal and he’d kill the twin brother of the love of his life. As it was, he tried to look back at the marks on Patton’s neck, only to find that he’d pulled a hoodie on before coming upstairs, one with a hood thick enough to cover much of his neck, only a single wound peeking over the edge.
“You lied to me last night about whether something like this had happened,” Logan said, and it came out harsh and sharp and angry and he was facing the wrong direction for that so he forced a deep breath into his lungs. “You’re hiding the marks, even now—” Patton’s hand rose to the edge of the hoodie, to pull it higher almost unconsciously as he averted his gaze— “These are textbook signs of—” Horror painted itself across Patton’s face. He hated discussing his past. What had happened in his life before he met Roman. He hated being reminded of it, and Logan winced apologetically as he cut himself off. “I apologise. I don’t—” He let out a sharp breath and turned back around, calmer. “Roman, he isn’t safe.”
“Of course he’s safe,” snarled Remus. “I’m not gonna do it again.”
“I don’t know that that’s true.”
“So, what? Are you kicking me out?”
Roman pushed forwards again, grabbing Remus’ shoulders. “No. Nobody is kicking you out. Right, Lo?”
Logan didn’t answer. He glared at Remus as Remus glared back.
“Logan,” Roman implored. “He— He really didn’t mean to. And he won’t do it again. Right, Re?”
“Duh,” Remus drawled, rolling his eyes dismissively. “I thought he was coming to kill me.”
Shaking his head, Logan turned to Roman. “I’m sorry, dear. I know I’m coming on— strong. But— I need you to listen to me. Understand my perspective. He is a stranger to me, and Patton is— Patton is Patton. I cannot know that Remus will be true to his word, but I do know that, if he isn’t, Patton wouldn’t tell us. How can I possibly be certain that it won’t happen again? That it hasn’t already? I won’t sit by while he’s hurt right beneath our noses because I trusted the wrong person.”
Behind him, Patton muttered, “I’m standing right here.”
“I know you don’t know him. But I do. He’s my brother, Logan. I know him better than anyone in the world. I get that you can’t trust him, I know he fucked up, but— can’t you trust me?”
Logan sighed. “It isn’t that simple.”
“Do I seriously not get a say in this?” Patton asked, his voice tight.
“Of course you do,” Roman replied. “It’s a house meeting.”
“I feel much tenser than I do at most house meetings,” Patton said.
“Yeah,” Remus grunted. “They always like this?”
“Only when there’s something around to trigger such tension,” snapped Logan.
Roman clapped his hands loudly. His brother flinched hard, shooting a startled look over his shoulder that Roman ignored. “Okay. We all need to take a breath,” he said. “Remus, stop— You don’t have to block us from each other. Okay? How about we go downstairs and talk about this around the table?”
Patton was agreeing softly. His hand closed around Logan’s, and he tried to pull him back towards the door.
“Logan,” Roman said, firmer. “Please?”
With a heavy sigh, Logan turned on his heel again and stormed past Patton. The man jumped slightly, stumbling out of the way, and Logan heard him begin softly apologising to Roman.
He grabbed his and Patton’s mugs as he passed, stubbornly ignoring the twisting in his gut as he placed them on the table. He knew he should make Roman some, but pettily decided not to, instead sitting on the seat and crossing his arms as he waited for the others to join him.
They did soon after. Patton entered first, smiling weakly at Logan and sitting beside him. He wrapped his fingers around his mug as Roman came in behind him and sat on Logan’s other side. Finally, Remus came in. He dragged his chair closer to Roman, away from Patton, sitting so close to his brother he almost seemed to try and press against him. He looked uncomfortable, shoulders tense and eyes darting between the three of them, his hands tucked under the table, but when he noticed Logan looking at him, he seemed to… cower. Like he was trying to hide behind Roman.
“Okay?” Roman said slowly, and the angle of his arm looked like he was holding Remus’ hands under the table, but with his other hand, he reached towards Logan. He accepted the figurative olive branch, letting his partner entwine their fingers.
Logan released a shaky breath. “Okay. I apologise for being so worked up. I— I am willing to… talk. Properly.”
His partner nodded, shooting Logan a relieved smile. “Thank you. Okay. First of all, yes. Logan, this is my brother, Remus. He means everything to me, Lo. And, Remus, this is my partner, Logan. He is the absolute love of my life. He is the man I’m going to marry. I love him like I’ve never loved a person before in my life. Not more than anyone, don’t start. Just— Differently.”
“You said that about every boy you ever talked to.”
“Yeah, when we were fourteen,” Roman answered, voice sharp and firm. “Don’t try to diminish what I feel for Logan just because you’re in a bad mood. I’m serious, Re. He is my soulmate. I am going to marry him.”
A familiar fluttering sensation wormed its way into Logan’s stomach, and he ducked his head to hide the smile pulling at his lips.
He heard Remus make a vague disgusted sound, and Roman snap at him to shut up before continuing, “And you already know how important Pat is to me. Right, Re? We talked about it.”
Logan looked up at Remus, who was staring at Roman intently. Roman stared back, eyebrows raised expectantly, until Remus nodded. “I know.”
“Good. Okay. Lo, Pat, you guys know how much I love you, right?”
“Of course we do, sweetie!” Patton assured him quickly, at the same time as Logan softly replied, “Yes.”
“Good. Okay,” he repeated, nodding. His shoulders looked more relaxed after having adressed that, and Logan wondered why he’d felt the need to make it clear when they all did already know. “Now that that’s done: Lo, what did you want to say?”
He blew out another slow breath. “I don’t know you, Remus. And I’m sorry that I’m making assumptions about you. But Patton is my closest, dearest friend. It would kill me, figuratively, to see him hurt, just as much as it would kill me, figuratively, to see Roman upset. And I will not live in a house with someone who makes him feel unsafe.”
“Okay. That makes sense, Lo. Remus? Wanna answer?”
Remus shrugged. “Not really.”
“Sucks,” Roman snapped, slapping his brother with the hand that wasn’t holding Logan’s. “Answer him.”
Remus scoffed. “What am I meant to say?” he asked sharply. “I apologised for the whole attacking him thing. It isn’t my fault if he’s still hung up on it.”
“Perhaps not,” Logan said. “But I struggle to believe you’ve done much to alleviate the fear that you left behind after doing so.”
Remus shrugged again. Logan narrowed his eyes at him.
“In fact, I struggle to believe you’re even all that sorry.”
“Not up to you, is it? Maybe I’m not that sorry. I was kidnapped by people you couldn’t even begin to imagine. They did horrific things to me, and to practically everyone they came across. Things that would keep you up at night. Things that would make you scream just thinking about it. So when I get out, and get away, and then some guy is climbing a tree to come directly into the room I’ve been staying in for weeks? Yeah, I figured they sent him to kill me. My fucking bad.”
Logan glared at him. “You aren’t going to intimidate me.”
“I’m just telling the truth,” Remus hissed. His lip pulled back as he did, showing Logan a row of bright white teeth, slightly longer and sharper than one would expect. “Do I regret it? Sure. But I wouldn’t if I’d been right. I wasn’t about to let those guys get to my brother.”
At this, Logan felt himself soften slightly. He’d been trying to protect Roman. That made more sense. That, at least, explained why his first response to what could have been a simple burglar was as serious as it was. Logan was almost surprised he hadn’t put that together — but, then again, he had hardly been thinking at all when he saw that bruise.
And, if he was telling the truth, that certainly suggested that he wouldn’t harm Patton again, now that he recognised he wasn’t a threat.
“Lo? Anything else you wanna add?” Roman asked.
Logan shook his head. “I understand your reasoning, even if I’m unhappy with your behaviour.”
Nodding, his partner squeezed his hand and turned to Logan’s side. “Okay, L. Thank you for that, mi amor, you were very nice and very eloquent, as always. Patton?”
Logan turned to look at their friend. He had his elbow up on the table, head resting against the palm of his hand like he was bored. He was looking down at his coffee through half-lidded eyes, even though the mug was half empty now. Roman said his name again, and he startled, looking across the table at him without lifting his head.
“Oh, is it my turn?” he asked, voice low and slightly unsettlingly blank. His eyes slid across to Logan. “Yeah? Patton gets to talk now? We’re done talking about me like I’m not here?”
Logan winced, hunching. “Sorry,” he mumbled.
Patton sighed, straightening up and shaking his head. “‘S okay. Sorry, I shouldn’t have gotten moody about it. Um— What’s up?”
“Well, I— I guess, um— If the argument is, like, whether or not it’s okay for Remus to live here, with you, we should… ask you.”
“He isn’t leaving this house,” Patton said simply. “He’s not going anywhere. If you’re that uncomfortable with us living together, since you’re so insistent I must be petrified of him, then I’ll move. It wouldn’t be right to kick him out.”
Logan frowned, and he heard Roman’s breath hitch. “You wanna move out?” he asked, voice wobbling.
“No. I don’t want to. But if it’s between me moving out and you guys kicking him out, then yeah. I’d move. He grew up in this house. It’s his house more than it is mine, and he can hardly find his own place right now, can he? If you really want my opinion, then I don’t see why we can’t all just live here.”
“So you aren’t negatively impacted by his presence?” Logan asked.
“No,” Patton replied quickly, but he shot Remus a glance that was just a bit too anxious for Logan’s liking.
“I don’t believe you, Patton,” he groaned. “And I don’t believe that you’d tell us if that changed.”
Patton’s face hardened, but not before Logan caught the flash of hurt on his face. “Well, that isn’t actually your call to make? I’m telling you it’s true, and I’m telling you I will. You’ve just gotta trust me. I know my— my history, or whatever, but— it was years ago. I’m older, I’m not some little kid for you to protect.”
“I’m not saying you are. I’m saying you have a history of—”
“I know. I just said I know that. That doesn’t mean you get to act like you can’t trust my word.”
Logan stared at him. Then, he sighed, nodding. “Okay. You’re right. You’re an adult, you can control your own environment. I’m sorry.”
Patton smiled at him again. “It’s okay. I know you’re just worried about me. But I promise. Me and Remus are cool. Right?”
“Super cool,” Remus growled, glaring at Patton.
“Remus,” Roman hissed. “You know you’re being a dick.”
“I’m agreeing with him!”
“You’re looking at him like you actually want him dead. Just— Look normal for a minute, for fuck’s sake.”
Remus rolled his eyes heavily, and slumped down in his seat, tearing his hand back to cross his arms over his chest. He looked remarkably like Roman now, pouting and glowering, but in the way an aggressively over-dramatic man would if, say, his chosen film wasn’t selected for movie night, not in the vicious glare of an animal about to attack.
His brother snorted at the display, and Logan couldn’t help but smile. He looked away, towards Patton, who was watching the twins with a sort of fondness that made Logan’s chest unfurl just a little bit further.
Okay. Okay, fine. He could work with this. Yes, trusting Remus would be… hard. But Logan could see that he had no intention of harming Roman, and he knew how important he and Patton were to Roman. If through nothing else, Remus’ apparent loyalty to his brother, and Roman’s loyalty to Patton and Logan, would keep him in line.
That didn’t mean Logan had to be happy about it. Remus, while not necessarily a danger to his loved ones, was not conducive to a safe and healthy environment, at least for Patton. But, the man was right. Logan wasn’t his guardian. He had to trust him to make that call himself.
And, Logan still wanted to address the ridiculous vampire assertion his housemates had made, but he could recognise when there was an appropriate time to question such things.
Their conversation culminated in Patton leaving to begin preparing breakfast. Logan noted that he didn’t ask Remus what he wanted, like he did Roman and Logan, and he wondered if this was the same sort of pettiness that had kept Logan from preparing his partner some coffee. He couldn’t deny a flicker of amusement at the concept. Patton was usually so desperate to be helpful and nice, it was gratifying to see him stick up for himself, even in this small manner.
Still, when they began eating their breakfast, and neither Remus nor Roman said anything, Logan began to question if his summary had been right.
He didn’t bother to ask about it. Wasn’t there some vampire lore about them not being able to eat human food? Maybe Remus was sticking to that when Patton or Roman were around. But that was absurd.
They ate their breakfasts slowly. Roman and Patton were bravely fighting to keep conversation going. Logan couldn’t help but study the new man in their midst, the way he seemed to be trying so hard to relax. He certainly appeared… unusual. The red eyes were interesting, and if they were contacts, they were exceptionally well made and fitted. His teeth were sharp, but not so sharp they couldn’t have been human. His features seemed… chisseled. Roman had fantastic bone structure, something Logan figured they would share, since they were twins, but Remus’ features looked like they’d been cut into stone. Perhaps it was the slight gaunt touch to his cheeks that made his cheekbones so much sharper, or maybe the way he didn’t seem to have a single pore, but something about him made him look like a statue.
Then, Logan realised what it was.
Remus was entirely, perfectly still.
His fingers didn’t twitch no matter how long he didn’t move them. He didn’t seem to blink. His shoulders and chest didn’t move with breaths.
If he was doing all of this on purpose, to seem more vampiric, he was a very good actor. Or, he believed it about himself so fundamentally that he was subconsciously doing these things.
Concerning either way.
After they finished eating, Roman left to get ready for the rest of the day. Remus followed him upstairs before anyone could say anything else, and Logan sighed. He turned to Patton, who smiled.
“See? Do you feel better? All’s well that end’s well, right?”
Logan shrugged. He didn’t agree with the sentiment at all, but even if he did, he wouldn’t count their current situation as having ended at all, let alone well. But he wasn’t about to start the same argument again barely an hour later, so he resolved himself to letting Patton leave to get dressed.
Several minutes later, Roman came back down. He smiled at Logan, who returned it weakly.
“So, love,” he said, voice soft. He pulled his chair towards Logan and sat down, positioned so he was fully facing him, rather than the table. “Would you like to go for a walk?”
“A walk?” Logan asked. He narrowed his eyes at Roman. “Why?”
“Well. You’re my darling, gorgeous, flawless partner. And I haven’t seen you in months. And I miss you terribly, because when I woke up you’d abandoned me and my freaky weirdo brother was standing over my like a horror movie villain.”
“Roman,” Logan said lowly, but his partner cut him off.
“And. I know you still have more you want to say to me about all this. Which is understandable. But I’d rather hash it out with you somewhere a little more private?”
Logan studied him, but nodded. He did have more he wanted to say to Roman. He had no desire to fight about it — he understood Roman’s perspective. Logan had never faced bereavement. The closest he’d ever come was his parents moving several states away, and that was as weak a comparison as anyone could make. All his grandparents were either alive, or passed long before he was old enough to grieve them. He couldn’t imagine what the Remus situation was like for Roman. They lost their mother so very young, and then Roman was left alone so soon after, and then he was back.
Logan would hardly be able to think clearly, either. He should have been more gentle with his partner — he must have scared him horribly, threatening to remove his brother so soon after getting him back. And he wasn’t some sort of president of their house. As loath as he was to admit it, he couldn’t singlehandedly make a decision like that.
But that didn’t mean he was going to let Roman off entirely. The only reason their relationship was as strong as it was was their communication. They’d worked on it extensively in the beginning of their relationship — it was why they waited so long before moving in together.
So, he nodded. “Will Patton and Remus be okay in the house alone?” he asked, standing to tell Patton anyway, half-hoping that the man would decide to leave, too.
“Yeah. Re’s gonna stay in his room for a bit.”
“Patton’s room,” Logan corrected, a touch immaturely.
There was a thick swallow. “Of course. That’s what I meant.”
Logan hummed, unimpressed. He still knocked on Patton’s door to inform him they were going for a walk. Patton’s response had been bright and cheery as he called his agreement.
Then, he and Roman were leaving the house. The descended the steps together, and Logan let his partner link their elbows together. They walked down the driveway, and turned onto one of the paths through the woods. For a few minutes, they just walked in silence, appreciating the early-morning environment around them. Roman hummed softly under his breath, almost harmonising with the birdsong above them, and Logan greatly enjoyed it.
“So,” Roman said softly, when they were a good distance from the house. “I… I am sorry. About Remus.”
“About Remus?”
“I know he’s making it hard.”
Logan let a soft sigh out of his nose. “I’m not angry with you for his behaviour.”
“You’re angry with me?” Roman asked.
“A little bit, to be truthful. But not because of what Remus is… like. Because of how you handled it.”
“How I handled it?”
“Roman, you should have told me as soon as it happened. Patton could have been seriously hurt. You at least should have told me last night, rather than having him wear that scarf to hide the evidence.”
“I didn’t have him wear it! That was his choice!”
“This is his home—”
“It’s Remus’ home too,” Roman interrupted quickly.
“I know. And I— I understand how you’re feeling. As best as I possibly could understand, at least. And I won’t make him leave — I shouldn’t have suggested that with any amount of the force I did. I’m sorry for that.”
“I can’t kick him out, Logan,” his partner whispered, and his voice was thick.
“I know.”
“I thought he was dead. I thought he’d been murdered in the fucking street and then he just— He just turns up at our house. What if I’d moved? What if I sold the house, instead of finding Pat to help with the bills? How would he have found me? A million different tiny little coincidences lined up perfectly for him to get back to me and— And I’m terrified, Lo, I’m so scared that if I don’t keep him as close as possible he’ll just— he’ll just be gone again.”
As he’d been speaking, Roman’s voice had fallen deeper and deeper into wobbly tears. His voice cracked at the end, and he pulled his arm away from Logan to bury his face in his hands. Logan’s stomach twisted, and he reached closer, wrapping his arms around Roman’s shoulders. His partner sobbed. He wrapped his own arms around Logan’s waist and tucked his face into the crook of his neck.
“I can’t do it again,” Roman sobbed. “I can’t, Lo, I can’t lose him again.”
“I know. I know, Roman. It’s okay. You won’t lose him.”
Roman didn’t answer. He carried on crying into Logan’s shoulder, clutching him tightly. Logan rubbed the space between his shoulder blades, whispering as comfortingly as he knew how. Honestly, it was only thanks to the years he’d been with Roman that he managed to not freeze up at all. Seven years ago, someone rising or falling anywhere away form the baseline of ‘perfectly neutrally composed’ would have made him panic. Now, after living with the two most emotionally complex people he had ever met, he was minutely better.
They didn’t stop hugging for a long while. Roman’s tears slowed into gentle sniffles, until he pulled away to wipe his face.
“Are you alright, dearest?” Logan asked softly, keeping his hands on his partner’s shoulders.
“I’m okay. Didn’t realise I’d been thinking all that.”
“I wish you’d have told me,” Logan said softly. “I dislike that you’ve been dealing with this by yourself.”
Roman scoffed. “It’s been fine. I can handle Remus. I wan’t gonna ruin your trip.”
Logan frowned at him, reaching up to brush some of Roman’s hair off his forehead. “You are more important to me than some vacation, no matter where I am or who I’m with. I would always rather be here with you, especially if something like this has happened.”
Roman let out a wet laugh and leaned in to press his mouth to Logan’s. “I promise you, next time my missing brother comes back from the dead, I’ll call you immediately.”
“Good,” Logan said.
“Do you have more you wanna get off your chest, my beloved?”
For a moment, Logan hesitated. He studied Roman’s face, still tear-stained and a little bit red. He didn’t want to tell him off when he was upset.
As though he could read his mind, Roman smiled softly, pressing another kiss to the corner of Logan’s mouth. “I can take it. I want you to tell me.”
He nodded slowly, and kept his hands caressing Roman’s face as he said, “I am sincerely worried about Patton.”
Roman winced, but he was already nodding back. “I know.”
“I’m worried that you— your relationship with Remus… your… history… it’s… clouding your view of the situation.”
“He isn’t a bad guy, Lo.”
“I know. I believe you, I think. But that doesn’t mean this is healthy for Patton. I believe Remus hasn’t physically harmed him since they first met. But I think he has been upsetting Patton.”
“I’ve told him to tone it down.”
“But are you sure he’s doing it? Or does he just pretend when you’re around?”
Roman didn’t answer. He frowned at Logan, and Logan could tell he was thinking about it properly. Then, he sighed. “I… I guess he could be. Has Pat said something to you about it?”
Logan shook his head. “Not at all. He’s immensely defensive of Remus. But you know how he is.”
Sighing again, Roman nodded, running a hand down his face. “Yeah. Yeah, I do. But, it’s just… Remus has a… a thing. It’s this weird, like, insecurity. He thinks I tried to, like, replace him? With Patton? He’s jealous of him. I’m sort of worried about, y’know… making it worse. By defending him too much. Re’s fragile at the minute. He needs to know I still love him, you know?”
“I know,” Logan answered. “And I understand that. As long as you understand that if I hear any hint that he’s being cruel to Patton I won’t be nearly so forgiving.”
“I haven’t just been letting him be mean. Whenever I know about it I pull him up—”
“Yes. I’m not saying you’re allowing it. But you… You can’t enforce…”
“Enforce? What, you want me to punish him?”
“I want him to believe there will be consequences if he carries on. He needs to know it isn’t allowed.”
“He’s not a child,” Roman grumbled.
“I know that.”
“So why are you talking about him like he’s some little kid we need to teach how to behave?”
“Because he’s acting like one, Roman!”
“You’ve had one conversation with him—”
“A conversation in which you had to tell him multiple times to stop trying to intimidate Patton with his glaring. That’s how a child behaves.”
Roman sighed sharply, looking away.
“I’m not asking you to do anything,” Logan continued. “I’m just… warning you, I suppose, that I will be less lenient than you.”
His partner bit the inside of his cheek and still didn’t answer, still refusing to meet Logan’s eye.
“Roman. I understand that you’re protective of him. I’m not trying to attack him.”
“I know that.”
“And I promise not to bring up him leaving the house again. Not unless he escalates to physical violence.”
After another few seconds, Roman nodded. “Okay. You’re right. I’ve been… too gentle with him. Do you think it’s really been that bad? For Patton?”
“I… I don’t know,” Logsn conceded, because, technically, he didn’t. He had no real evidence for this… instinct, it was just that. A gut feeling. “I haven’t been here. I just worry.”
Roman nodded again. “Okay. I’m sorry I didn’t call you. I really did wish you were here for it. I missed you like crazy the whole time you were away, Lo, I swear.”
“I missed you too.”
“Are you still angry with me?” Roman asked softly.
Logan smiled at him, running his hand through his hair again. “A bit. Nothing that won’t go away with time. You should’ve taken him to a hospital. He could’ve been really hurt.”
“I know. I’m sorry. And I’ll apologise to him, too. It just didn’t occur to me that it could’ve been that bad. The shock, or something, I don’t know.”
Logan hummed. “Okay,” he murmured. He nodded, kissing his partner on his cheek again. “That’s all I had to say. Do you want to go home, or keep walking?”
“Um— Home. I think. You’ve got work tomorrow, right? I wanna spend all the time at home with you as possible before then.”
Logan smiled softly at him and nodded, taking his hand and pulling him back down the path towards home.
They spent that day in peaceful company. They watched movies. Logan made lunch that Remus declined politely, and Patton cooked them a big dinner to share that Remus still didn’t touch and they all helped to clean up, even their new housemate.
It was, honestly, rather nice. He didn’t trust Remus, but nothing happened throughout the day. He mostly seemed to try his very best to avoid Patton altogether. At one point, he disappeared into the kitchen, and there was the beeping of the microwave and he returned with a mug that he wouldn’t let Patton wash up for him, but that was the extent of their interaction.
Logan never caught a glimpse of what was in the mug. Remus made sure it didn’t stick on his moustache or his top lip before he dropped the mug, and Logan couldn’t help but wonder if it was some kind of edible fake blood.
They went to bed that night, Patton staying in the living room, as was apparently typical now, and when Logan and Roman lay in bed that night, wrapped tightly around one another, he began to plan out the logistics of an attic renovation.
Logan was at work the next several days. The fridge did, in fact, have a small section of bags filled with what looked like blood. Logan wasn’t willing to put unusual, unknown substances in his mouth, so he hadn’t taste-tested it, and he didn’t really know what large quantities of blood actually smelled like. Or how much was needed for it to class as a ‘large quantity’. So, he had no way of verifying its true nature, but he stalwartly ignored the mild twist in his gut when he placed his lunchbox beside it.
His next day off, Roman had an audition in the city over lunch. Patton had worked the morning shift in his cafe, which meant he wasn’t due home until the afternoon, and that was assuming he and Roman didn’t meet up for lunch in the city before coming home together.
Regardless, it meant that, for several hours, Logan and Remus were alone in the house together. And Logan meant to use that privacy to its fullest capacity.
anyway. last night I had a dream that my local lesbian bar was hosting a “motionless dance party”. it was sort of like the inverse of a silent disco—the music is playing out loud but you’re doing all the dancing inside your own head. it was really successful like a lot of lesbians showed up to stand perfectly still in a room together and imagine what dancing would be like.
ive never been able to take "climb him like a tree" as a sexual innuendo seriously because i picture climbing a tree in my mind and then i picture a tall man in my mind and when i put those two things together im not seeing anything sexual. im seeing like. circus tricks.
An all-transmasc Ironman trio just won 3rd place in a major men's triathlon, beating over 200 other men's teams. 🏊♂️🏃🚴♂️ Trans men win men's competitions all the time, but nobody pays attention because it doesn't fit the mainstream narrative. I think we should celebrate their victories, too! 🏆
Logan stepped off the terminal, his suitcase dragging behind him and his headphones slung around his neck. He was exhausting, his limbs weighed down like lead and his eyes gritty as he looked around for his partner.
His eyes landed first on Patton, who was jumping up and down and beaming. He frowned slightly — wasn’t he supposed to be in Europe currently? Then slid across to Roman, who laughed at Patton and walked closer. The tension in Logan’s neck and shoulders melted as he smiled back, and he released his suitcase so that he could obediently wrap his arms around Roman’s shoulders. Roman, ever the dramatist, lifted Logan by his waist and spun in a circle, the plastic wrapping of the bouquet of flowers he’d brought with him crinkling against Logan’s shirt. The fact that it was just the one twirl showed how restrained he was being. Or, perhaps, how tired he was. It was very late, and they still needed to drive an hour home.
“Hello, dearest,” Logan said, and Roman set him down so he could cradle his face.
“Hi, star-spun light of my life. You look radiant as ever. Your sunkissed skin is… a very similar colour to usual. SPF 50?”
“Of course,” Logan answered, purposefully haughty, and the slight embarrassment was worth the way Roman and Patton both laughed.
“How was your flight, my beauty?”
Logan let out a heavy sigh. “Fine. Long. Good evening, Patton. I thought you were supposed to be in… Budapest, right now.”
“Oh! I came home early. Got homesick. I’ve been back a week. Sorry, forgot to text.”
Logan raised an eyebrow. “I’m more surprised you didn’t inform me, Roman. We have been in contact.”
“Ah, I know. Sorry. I just… Well, a lot’s been going on. Here, give me your bag. I’ll tell you about it in the car.”
Frowning, Logan allowed Roman to pull the satchel off his shoulder. He took the flowers, and protested for just a moment as Patton whizzed in to take his suitcase before he realised it was pointless.
“Which of you drove?” he asked, as Patton walked ahead. “And why is Patton wearing a scarf? It’s almost July.”
“Pat drove. And the scarf is… um… Part of what’s been going on.”
“What? What does that mean?”
“I’ll tell you in the car, darling, I promise. Please?”
Sighing again, Logan acquiesced. They walked to the car in quiet, Roman’s arm draped around Logan’s shoulders, and Logan raised his hand to intertwine his fingers with the ones resting at his collarbone.
He loved his family, and he loved their yearly trip, but he had missed Roman horribly. He was not one for public displays of affection, nor was he particularly fond of embarrassing, saccharine nicknames being belted throughout the airport at past midnight, but he found himself excited enough to be back in his partner’s arms that, this time, he didn’t actually mind much at all.
He was, however, distracted.
The mystery of Patton’s scarf and sudden return felt like they had to be linked. Had something happened to him on his trip? Logan desperately hoped not. He’d been worried enough about the concept of Patton solo-travelling at all, especially on another continent, but the fact that he, too, would be on that continent for the majority of it brought him comfort. It may have taken a few days, but he could have gotten to Patton in an emergency. If he learned that something bad had happened and both Patton and Roman decided he just didn’t need to know? That would actually hurt, he thought.
As soon as they entered the car park, Patton went bounding off to the left, and Logan caught sight of Timmy.
Timmy, lovingly named such by Patton, after the man he’d purchased the car from just after he moved in with Logan and Roman, was a small, three-door sphere of a thing in a bright shade of sunshine yellow. Logan hated this car. It was ancient, and it always had some problem, and the engine always sounded four kilometres from giving out and the glove box didn’t open and the AC didn’t work. Sometimes the speedometer just stopped moving on exactly 26 km/h and would just fix itself a week later and other times it didn’t move at all.
He sighed through his nose, and Roman laughed, squeezing his hand. “I’ll sit in the back,” he murmured into Logan’s hair.
“You better, you’re the one who allowed him to drive.”
“He insisted!” Roman laughed, and Patton, having thrown Logan’s suitcase into the pitiful trunk, turned around with a grin.
“Your chariot awaits! Timmy’s missed you, Lo!”
Logan scowled. “I have not missed Timmy. Furthermore, Timmy is a car, and is incapable of missing anything.”
“And yet he managed,” Patton sighed, patting the car lovingly. “Isn’t he just amazing? Exceeds all expectations.”
Roman snorted. He put Logan’s satchel beside the suitcase, wedging it into the meagre gap between the edge of the trunk and the case itself, which was pressed against the other edge. Truly a pathetically small car. Then, Roman moved around and slid the driver’s seat forward to climb into the back.
Logan got into the passenger seat as Patton set his chair back into place, and they were pulling out of the space a few minutes later.
“How was your trip? Is your family doing okay?” Patton asked, turning the volume knob on his stereo down.
Logan nodded. “They’re well. Nonna is still in perfect health. She was terribly disappointed she didn’t get to see Roman, but understood. She says she wants us to get married soon, so that she can be there before she grows too elderly to fly.”
“She’s been too elderly to fly for decades,” Roman laughed. “That’s never stopped her.”
Logan smiled at him and shook his head. “I suppose it hasn’t.”
“But far be it for me to deny her her final-travelling wish,” Roman sang, reaching forward and cupping Logan’s chin lovingly. “We can wed as soon as the spring flowers bloom, my darling.”
Logan snorted. “As soon as the spring flowers bloom? So in approximately ten months. You would need at least twelve to plan your wedding,” he teased, and Patton giggled beside him. Roman let out a shocked, offended gasp.
“I would be happy to marry you in a courthouse in Vegas if that was what you asked for!”
“No, you wouldn’t,” said Logan, at the same time as Patton whispered a little, barely-audible, “Liar.”
“Fiend! My only friend turning against me!” Roman cried, reaching past Patton’s headrest to tug gently at his hair. Patton laughed again, full and chesty, and Roman matched it, and the car was full of the laughter of the two people Logan was closest to in the world along with Patton’s crackly, tinny music, and he turned to watch the dark world whizz past as his chest unfurled.
He was home.
“Hey, Pat,” Roman said softly. They’d fallen into a peaceful, gentle quiet in the car, all three tired. They were forty-two minutes into the sixty-four minute drive home, and Logan turned to look at his partner.
“Mhm?” Patton asked.
“Pull into that rest stop, could you? The one coming up.”
“Um— Sure,” Patton said, indicating right before he’d even properly spotted the exit. “Why?”
“I just— I think we should, um… give Lo a heads up. Before we get home.”
Logan frowned, and Patton’s face slackened into a very carefully-crafted neutrality that did nothing to hide his discomfort.
“A heads up for what?” Logan asked.
“We’re gonna tell you everything, my love, but it— It shouldn’t be in the car. We should be sat properly. Face-to-face.”
Logan’s frown deepened, but he knew he wouldn’t get any more information out of Roman while he was feeling mysterious and dramatic, and the nervous tension in Patton’s bit lip kept Logan from turning his questions in that direction.
“Is everything alright?” he asked, immediately contradicting his own decision. “Are you okay?”
“Who?” Roman asked distractedly.
“What? You. Both of you. Is everything okay?”
Patton shifted anxiously as he pulled into a space near the diner, right underneath the flickering red 24-hour sign.
“Everything’s fine, Lo,” Roman assured him gently. He reached out to squeeze Logan’s hand. “Don’t worry. There’s just— some stuff happened that we need to tell you about. It’s nothing to worry about.”
“Reassuring, yes,” spat Logan. Roman sighed as Patton winced. Logan got out of the car and closed the door. He shot Patton an apologetic look as they met eyes over the car, and Patton smiled warmly at him, pulling his seat forward to let Roman out. In the neon red light, he looked like he had been bathed in blood, and Logan looked away. He allowed Roman to take his hand in the walk up to the door and a little bed jingled cheerfully as they entered.
“Hi,” Patton said softly, and the woman behind the counter raised an eyebrow. The diner was almost empty. On one end, a pair of men sat at the counter, nursing beers. In the middle, there were three people in a booth. Patton glanced around the room and then turned and walked to the other end, sliding into the farthest booth at the end.
Roman slid in beside Patton, leaving Logan to sit opposite them by himself.
“Can I get you guys anything?” a voice asked, and Logan startled as the waitress from before appeared at his side.
“Um— Could I get a chocolate milkshake?” Patton asked. “Please?”
“Are we really staying long enough for that?” Logan asked. “I’m tired, I want to go home and sleep in my own bed. Is any of this necessary?”
“Yes, it’s necessary,” answered Roman, his voice soft. “Let him have a milkshake. We’ll just get two waters,” he added to the waitress. Logan sighed, and the waitress turned away with an eyeroll.
“Sorry. I just— Habit. To order milkshakes in places like this.”
“It’s fine. I didn’t mean to snap at you,” Logan apologised.
Patton nodded quickly. The end of his scarf shifted under the movement, and one end dropped, revealing a dark purple mark on the side of his neck. Logan’s eyes narrowed.
“What is on your neck?” he asked, leaning forwards to see it better.
Patton startled, his hand flying to his neck to readjust the scarf and hide the mark.
“Nothing,” he said fast, glancing at Roman in panic.
Logan turned to frown heavily at Roman. Something was churning in his gut. “Roman? What is going on, why have we stopped?”
“Okay, so, here’s the thing.”
For a brief, heart-stopping second, Logan believed that Roman was going to break up with him. That he and Patton had discovered some secret love they shared while Logan was gone, and Patton had hickeys on his neck.
It was a brief thought. Logan knew it wasn’t true. But something had clearly happened when Logan was gone and Patton wasn’t, something big enough that it felt like it was, in fact, changing their dynamic somehow.
“My brother’s back,” Roman said.
Oh. That would… That would certainly change things.
“I was under the impression that your brother was dead.”
“He was assumed dead,” Roman corrected. “They never found a body.”
“And you know what they say about assuming!” Patton said, his voice loud and sharp with false cheer. He flinched from the volume, and slouched slightly, his plastic grin fading. “Makes an… ass… Yeah, y’know how the… saying goes…”
Logan looked at him for a second longer before turning back to Roman, whose face was pinched. “Is he okay? Is he… back, or was… was he found?”
“He’s back. He’s alive. He was… taken. But he got away.”
“That— Have the police been informed?”
“Not… yet. It’s a closed case, we’re hardly wasting resources.”
Logan frowned at him. “How long has he been back for?”
“About a month,” Roman croaked.
“A month?” cried Logan, and the few eyes in the restaurant turned to look at him. Patton slouched even more, race red. Logan leaned forward and lowered his voice to a hiss. “You’ve kept this from me for a month, Roman?”
“I wasn’t trying to keep anything from you!”
“We have been texting daily!” Logan snipped. “You haven’t even given the impression—” How could he not notice something like this? He should have known something was going on, he was Roman’s partner. He planned to marry him one day, and he wasn’t even capable to discerning his emotional state through texts?
“It isn’t something I could tell you over the phone, Logan,” Roman said.
“Why? I would have come home!”
“Exactly, darling. I didn’t need you doing that, you only get to see them once a year.”
“Is that why Patton came home early? Did you tell him and not me?”
“No!” Roman defended. “He came home all by himself!”
Patton nodded faithfully. “That’s why he didn’t know I was gonna climb through his bedroom window.”
“His bedroom window?” Logan asked. “Where is he staying?”
“I insisted he take my room, at least for the time being. It was his and Ro’s room when they were kids, he remembers it as his.”
“Where have you been sleeping?”
“Couch,” Patton said, shrugging dismissively. “It’s pretty comfy. I thought we could maybe convert the attic into another bedroom. Me or Re— mus… could… Um, one of us could go up there.”
“You pay rent—” Logan said.
“It’s not rent, it’s just the bills—”
“That still counts! You contribute financially! You shouldn’t be sleeping on the couch of a house you pay to live in.”
“Lo,” Patton cut in, his voice firm, but his face was kind and earnest. “The bedroom thing really isn’t serious. I’m fine. Remus has been through a lot, he needs his own space more than I do right now.”
Logan sighed. “Fine. Okay, you’re an adult. If you want to make that decision, you can. So, tell me more about… Remus.”
Roman nodded. “He’s— He’s scared. He isn’t hurt, physically, so that’s one thing, but… He’s seriously messed up. He’s great with me— practically back to normal. But… Well, with Pat…”
Roman trailed off, and Logan’s eyes slid across to Patton, who pressed his lips together. “He’s a little… um… prickly,” he forced out.
Logan’s eyebrows raised. He adored Patton, he truly did. He had never felt such fondness for someone he wasn’t romantically or familially attached to in his life. But, sometimes, he could be… truly infuriated by Patton indirectness in discussing confrontational issues. ‘A little prickly’, in Patton’s terms, was on par with ‘huge insurmountable asshole’ in anyone else’s. Patton never admitted anyone’s flaws. He did anything he could to see the best in them no matter what, and he’d never admit out loud that they were anything other than ‘interesting’ if they’d purposefully poured soup in his lap and then punched him in the face.
“Yeah,” Roman croaked. “He’s been really awful to Pat.”
Patton bit the inside of his cheek and looked down at the table. “He hasn’t been that bad,” he whispered non-commitally.
“Patton,” Roman said flatly. “Yes, he has. He’s horrible to you. I think— I think I had a bit of a breakthrough with him the other night. He’s been better, right?”
The other man didn’t raise his head for a second, before he nodded, shooting a tense smile at Roman. “Mhm!”
“Right,” Roman said brightly, and Logan shot him an unimpressed look.
“Anyway,” Patton interrupted hastily. “So, he’s been struggling a bit with the addition of, um, me.”
“Right, yeah. So we just— We thought we should warn you that he might not love you, either?”
Logan nodded slowly. “Is he actively antagonistic?”
“He… has been. With Pat.”
He nodded again. “Okay. Patton, are you alright?”
“What? Yeah! He hasn’t done anything. He just doesn’t like me much. I can handle a bit of… prickliness.”
“You shouldn’t have to.”
“And I won’t have to. Not forever. He’s getting better, really. It’s getting easier.”
Logan studied him closely, searching for any sign he was lying. Patton stared back, his lips twisting into a weak, desperate smile. While he didn’t necessarily believe it was as calm as he was presenting, Logan decided to take mercy on him anyway. He nodded, and looked across at Roman.
“And, are you alright?”
“What? Of course I am. What do you mean?”
“It must have been a shock. Having the brother you mourned and then healed from mourning reappearing, alive and well.”
Roman stared at him, something tight in his jaw and surprised in his eyes. Beside him, Patton turned to watch him, too.
“I mean. Sure. But, like, it’s a good shock.”
“Of course it is,” Patton said. “But Lo’s right. It can be good and still hard.”
Roman shrugged. “I guess. But it’s fine. I’m good.”
For a few seconds, nobody spoke. Logan frowned at his partner, studying his face for several seconds before nodding. He didn’t believe him, but he’d let it go for now. They could discuss the issue further when they were alone. For now, he had other matters to address.
“Can I ask what… happened to him?” Logan asked slowly, studying Roman for any sort of reaction.
He didn’t need to study. His partner gave a full-body wince, turning to Patton. They seemed to have a silent conversation for a minute, which basically entailed Patton shrugging helplessly at Roman’s questioning looks.
“Is it… some sort of… trafficking ordeal?” Logan asked.
Roman let out a laugh, surprised, and Patton shot him a startled look. Logan felt himself mirroring it when the wet tone of the laugh registered.
“Roman? I— I’m sorry, you— I didn’t mean to… was it?”
“No! God, Lo, he… He wasn’t… Well, I mean, he… He was… Pat?”
Patton swallowed thickly, eyes huge and slightly panicked. “Um— I don’t— You want me to—”
“Yup!” Roman said, forcefully bright, and Patton stared at him for several more seconds, before Roman buried his face in his hands to take a few slow, forcefully deep breaths.
Logan watched him, desperate to do something to soothe away the sudden tremble in Roman’s shoulders, but he couldn’t think what to say. He instead reached out and held Roman’s wrist loosely, rubbing his thumb back and forth. He turned his gaze to Patton, whose mouth twitched into an almost frightened smile before falling away like sand.
“So, um… You know, um… like… folklore?”
“What?” Logan asked, immediately fighting not to bristle.
“Okay. Sorry. Wrong— Um— Remus was kidnapped by vampires,” Patton blurted.
This time, Logan did bristle, his eyes flicking between his partner and their best friend. He drew his hand away from Roman’s arm. He still wasn’t showing his face — was he hiding a smirk? Were they serious? He’d just gotten off a fourteen-hour flight and they decided to pull into some diner in the middle of the night to have a milkshake and pull a prank on him? And such a childish one!
His reaction must have been perfectly clear, because Patton winced hard, sucking in a deep breath. “Okay, now, I know how that sounds—”
“It sounds like you’re wasting my time when all I want is to go to sleep. I’m exhausted. If you wanted a milkshake so badly you could have just gotten one in the airport—”
“Still on the milkshake,” Roman muttered, muffled into his hands.
“Yeah, okay, the milkshake was tasteless. Well, no, it was lovely, tasted great, get it? Okay, no, sorry— I’m sorry, I shoulda read the room better, but this isn’t—”
“And, come on. Using his missing brother as the punchline for your little windup?”
“Logan!” Patton hissed. “That’s the point, of course we wouldn’t do that. Just hear me out—”
“Are you going to force me to spell out the fact that vampires aren’t real?” Logan spat. “Why would you bother with this? What’s the point?”
“It isn’t a joke,” Patton said softly. He was staring at Logan hard, his face a filled with as much earnestness as any human being could possibly show, and Logan’s irritation faltered.
Was he actually serious? Patton had never managed to hold his ground like this for this long — whenever he told any sort of joke, his immediate fit of giggles usually revealed it before he even got into the punchline. This seemed… Well, it seemed genuine. Patton, for whatever reason, appeared entirely sincere. Logan turned his gaze to Roman.
Okay. So this was worse than a prank. They were having some sort of shared medical event.
Were their carbon monoxide alarms up to date? Had there been a gas leak?
Or, was there really a man in his house, sleeping in Patton’s bed, convincing them both that he was Roman’s undead twin? What if they were being pranked?
Those were the only options. They were both hallucinating, which was unfortunately the unlikeliest option. Unfortunate, because the other two would be far harder for Logan to solve: either whoever was in there house was not, in fact, Remus, but a stranger playing some horrifically cruel prank on the love of Logan’s life, or, potentially worse, it was Remus, and he was so traumatised by whatever happened that he had convinced himself, Patton and Roman of his fantastical coping mechanism.
He had to be very careful now. He nodded slowly, but Patton wilted anyway. “You don’t believe us.”
“I don’t think you’re lying.”
“You… You don’t?”
“I believe that— I believe that you believe what you’re saying. That doesn’t mean I believe that Roman’s twin brother came back as a vampire.”
Patton frowned, tilting his head, and Roman lowered his hands to stare in shock.
“You think we’re crazy?” Roman asked in horror. “Are you serious?”
Logan shook his head, reaching towards Roman. “I didn’t say that,” he began, but Roman shot to his feet.
“First, you think we’re pranking you, as though we could ever be that fucking evil, and then you think we’re making it up?”
“I didn’t say that!” Logan repeated, sharper, rushing to follow Roman out of the diner. He heard Patton yelp some sort of protest before the doors slammed shut behind him.
“Roman!” he called, but his partner was already halfway across the parking lot. “I’m not trying to accuse you of lying, Roman!”
“No, you just think we’re stupid,” Roman spat over his shoulder, and Logan finally caught him, grabbing his hand and turning him around.
“Of course I don’t think that,” Logan said. He held Roman’s hand between his own, saw how tears were lining his partner’s eyes, and wondered how he could possibly make this better. “Roman, I don’t think you’re stupid. I just… I am… worried.”
“About what?”
“You!” Logan cried. “Both of you! Roman, surely you can see this from my perspective. You suddenly believe in the existence of vampires.”
“Because I’ve seen it, Lo!” Roman implored. “Surely you don’t believe I’m stupid enough to fall for something like that without being given some really strong evidence.”
“I don’t think you’re stupid,” Logan said again. He knew this was something Roman was particularly sensitive about — it was why he’d wanted so badly to tread the issue lightly, rather than implying that they were being tricked. He knew Roman would be hurt. “I just— Can you explain what this evidence is?”
“Um, maybe his fangs?”
“People can alter their teeth.”
“So you think he’s lying? You think my brother came back after being missing for nine whole years, just to trick me?”
“No. I would never accuse him of that with no real basis. But… I am… concerned that this is some sort of… mental episode he is going through.”
“You think he’s crazy,” Roman said, voice cold. He ripped his arm free. “He’s my brother.”
“I know. I’m not trying to insult him.”
Before Roman could retort, his eyes shifted to just over Logan’s shoulder, where Patton appeared. He placed a hand on Logan’s arm as he passed, reaching for Roman.
“Ro, come on,” he said soothingly. “He doesn’t mean anything by it. We knew he might not believe us.”
“I don’t think you’re lying,” Logan added, his voice smaller than he would have liked, and Patton shot him a smile.
“Let’s just go home then. He can decide if we’re stupid or crazy when he meets him.”
“Ro—” Patton began, but Roman cut him off with a demand to unlock the car. Patton sighed, but obeyed, before turning back to Logan.
“Patton, truly, I wasn’t trying to accuse you of anything,” he said. “Well— I was. But then I realised you were being honest.”
Patton smiled at him weakly. “I know. And I’m glad you don’t think we’re, like, liars. Or nasty enough to pull this sort of trick. But we… I mean, Logan, it really is just… true. What do you think is going on if he isn’t a vampire?”
“My main concern is that he has had a psychotic break and has convinced himself he is a vampire to cope with the traumatic event of being kidnapped and, presumably, trafficked in some manner,” Logan said bluntly, his voice low enough that Roman wouldn’t hear him, even though he was already in the car, and Logan could see that perfectly clearly.
A soft, understanding noise came from Patton’s throat. “That… That is a pretty good theory,” he croaked.
“Do you think it could be true?”
“I mean. Like. I definitely think what happened would have been awful for him. Yeah, he’s probably super traumatised, and probably has some pretty… nifty… coping strategies. But I don’t think that means the vampire thing is one of them. He really is just… a vampire. Honest.”
“You aren’t pretending to believe it to protect Roman’s feelings?” Logan asked hopefully.
“Nope. Sorry, Loges. I am fully convinced on the vampire of it all.”
Logan sighed and nodded. “Okay.”
Patton shot him a smile and squeezed his arm again. “You can see for yourself when we get home. Make your own judgement. And if that means staging some kind of one-to-three intervention, well, so be it.”
A soft laugh huffed from between Logan’s lips. “I am sorry. For the record. I shouldn’t have snapped at you about the milkshake.”
“It’s okay. I know you’re tired. We’ll get you home so you can get some sleep.”
Logan wanted to protest that — he wasn’t a child — but he knew it was true. He likely wouldn’t have been so irritable if the exhaustion wasn’t tugging at him. Instead, he just nodded, accepting Patton’s forgiveness. They walked back to the car, where Roman was already sitting in the back seat with his head in his hands.
“Roman, dear,” Logan began softly, once he’d buckled his seatbelt. Patton’s door closed behind him, and he reversed out of the spot.
“I’m fine. I’m sorry for yelling at you,” Roman said. His voice was thick, but muffled by his hands.
“You hardly yelled at me,” Logan replied, twisting around to place a hand on Roman’s knee. “And I understand how you might be sensitive about this particular subject.”
“I just— I don’t want you to be shocked when you meet him. He’s jumpy, and if you freak out, he’s gonna freak out.”
“When have you ever known me to freak out?” Logan asked incredulously.
“When have I ever known you to meet a vampire, L? How should I know how you’ll react?”
Logan didn’t respond immediately. He smiled stiffly at his partner. “True enough.”
Roman mirrored his stiff expression, and Logan heard Patton release a breath as he merged back onto the highway.
By the time Patton parked in their driveway, Logan had already been nodding into sleep. He awakened suddenly when the car jerked and juddered to a stop, and Patton apologised softly. Logan cleared his throat and smiled at him, shaking his head.
“It isn’t a problem.”
They climbed out of the car, and Roman immediately began up the steps to the porch. Patton grabbed Logan’s wrist before he could follow.
“Just— Hang on a sec,” he muttered, and Logan obediently nodded despite the anxious doubt still swirling in his chest. He moved around the car to the trunk.
“I’ll grab my bags,” he muttered. Patton nodded, rushing to his side to help, and by the time the car was locked, Roman had reappeared in the doorway. He closed it behind him and descended the stairs once more.
“Hey,” he said softly. “Um— How would you feel about meeting him tomorrow? In the morning?”
Logan frowned. “Why?”
“You’ve had a long day. And I feel like this is going to be a long conversation.”
Logan frowned at him, but nodded. Roman’s shoulders dropped in relief, and he smiled, nodding back. He took the bags from Patton and Logan, pressed a kiss to Logan’s cheek, and began to walk back up the steps to the porch. Logan shot Patton a look, and his friend smiled weakly at him before they each moved to follow.
The goodnights they exchanged were brief. Patton tucked himself into the living room, mumbling something about brushing his teeth in the morning, and Logan and Roman began to travel upstairs. Roman led the way, and turned the corner to walk to their bedroom, but Logan faltered at the top of the stairs. His eyes were drawn away, towards the other end of the hall, where Patton’s bedroom door was hanging slightly ajar. Logan squinted into the inky, almost unnatural darkness, curiosity keeping him still.
Then, he was frozen for an entirely different reason. His eyes landed on something in the dark of the room, a shadow looming in the dark, and his blood ran cold. A pair of eyes seemed to glow against the shadow, wide, pupils pinpricks against what looked like red irises. Something washed over Logan, a strange sort of terror that he’d never experienced before. He wondered if this was how deer felt when they heard a snap in the distant forest.
“Lo?” Roman asked from behind him. The door closed fully, and Logan jumped, spinning to look at his partner. “You okay? I know it’s been a while, but I didn’t expect you to get lost.”
“Sorry. I’m fine.” He swallowed thickly, clenching his clammy hands into fists and rushing into his own bedroom. He made sure the door was closed properly, and he pretended not to check the shadows of the room for glowing red eyes as he lay in bed.
The next morning, Logan woke infuriatingly promptly. He was laying half atop Roman, two muscular arms weighing down his shoulders, and he wished more than anything that he could go back to sleep, but he wasn’t that sort of person. Logan was cursed with an inability to relax, or so he’d heard, so he only managed to lie in his partner’s arms for ten or so minutes before he was extracting himself and walking across to their ensuite to shower and brush his teeth. Then, he left the room, barely glancing at Patton’s door as he reached the stairs.
The hairs on the back on his neck were standing up, but he ignored them stalwartly and entered the kitchen to begin brewing coffee.
His mind didn’t leave Remus for long. Really, he wanted to discuss the issue with Patton, alone, before meeting the returned, allegedly undead, twin. He needed to hear the reasoning he would give for believing in such a tale without the presence Roman, who was obviously far more emotionally invested in the issue. Maybe their friend was just pretending? And he just didn’t want to admit it when Roman was near enough to hear?
Logan could only hope.
He poured two coffees — tipping Patton’s usual near-violent amount of cream and sugar into one of them. Then, he walked out of the kitchen.
His knock on Patton’s door was louder than it was supposed to be, since he was actually just kicking it with his toe, due to his full hands. He heard a soft, sleepy groan, and couldn’t help but smile.
“I made you coffee.”
“Wh— Logan? Hold on!”
There was a thump, and shuffling, and then the door swung open and Patton stood in the gap, eyes wide and a little bit upset.
“Oh, Lo, I’m sorry! You got up even earlier than I expected, I was gonna make a big breakfast for your first day back! I have an alarm set for eight and everything!”
Logan smiled at him, shrugging. “You still can, if you want to,” he began, but his voice cut off as his eyes left Patton’s for a second.
Patton had always worn oversized, baggy pyjamas. He’d shown up at Roman’s house — before the two of them had been together for long enough to constitute moving in together but when Roman desperately needed someone else to pay some of the bills — with a trash bag of maybe three shirts and a pair of jeans. His loose, threadbare pyjamas were one of the only things that remained despite the six years in between. He said no other fabric was as soft as these pyjamas, and that was why he couldn’t replace them. Logan tried to explain that other fabrics would become the same level of comfort with time, but he remained unsuccessful.
The bagginess of Patton’s pyjamas, of course, meant that his neck was fully, properly visible. the neck of the shirt fell down around his collarbone, hanging partially off his left shoulder. Logan had forgotten about the scarf that Patton kept adjusting the night before. Now, he understood wat it had been for. Right across Patton’s throat, was a huge, dark handprint.
The bruise was dark and splotchy, but had turned a yellow-brown colour at its edges. It was in a clear, sickening shape, one palm and five fingers. Worse, at the end of each finger was a large, dark raised mark, partially healed but clearly, at one time, immensely deep and painful for what clearly received no medical attention.
Logan barely had the presence of mind to place the mugs on the floor before he reached out to hold Patton’s chin and tilt it to get a better look.
“Logan—” Patton began, voice tight and breathing just a little bit too quick.
“What is this?” Logan asked sharply, his fingers ghosting over the scabs. He felt dizzy.
“It— Look, it— I—”
“Don’t try to lie to me right now. Did this happen on your trip? Or was it—”
His voice faltered as Patton’s hands shot up to cover his own mouth, eyes wide with panic and teeth bared like he was bracing for something. His gaze flicked to the stairs behind Logan, and something cold and hard slammed across Logan’s ribcage with a fury. He let go of Patton and turned on his heel.
He loved Roman. Of course he did. He and Roman had been together for five months before Patton moved into this house, and they’d known each other another six before that. Logan was sure that Roman was the love of his life. The nearest thing to a soulmate a human being to possibly achieve. It had only taken six months for them to get together because Logan was oblivious to his own feelings, and because Roman couldn’t work out if he was gay.
Six years had passed since then. Six beautiful, perfect years. Logan adored Roman. But he loved Patton, too.
Not in the same way. Patton was… sort of like a younger brother to him. He was his best friend, certainly, the closest and longest-lasting platonic relationship he had ever managed to hold onto. And, while Logan didn’t live in this house when Patton moved in, he was round often enough to see his recovery.
Logan was never, ever going to allow an expression like that cross Patton’s face again. Never. He was willing to accept any penalty Remus or, as much as he was pained to admit it, Roman, would throw at him.
That man could not live under the same roof as Logan’s best friend.
“Logan!” Patton hissed, and he grabbed Logan’s wrist as he began to march away, holding tightly and keeping him still. “Wait, just— Hold on, it isn’t what it looks like—”
“Oh, really?” Logan snapped, whirling back to glare at the man. “Because it looks like you were choked out.”
Patton winced, shooting another panicked glance at the stairs. “Technically, yes—”
“You’re terrified of him!”
“I am not. I’m worried he can hear us. I don’t want you to upset him.”
Logan scoffed. “Why? Will he do this again?”
“No!”
“Does Roman know?”
“Of course he does. He sorted it all out when it happened. It only happened the one time, when he thought I was breaking in. I promise.”
“Roman knew? And he did nothing?”
“He didn’t do nothing. He cleaned me up and he told Remus off and he made sure we were all okay. He sat with me for ages. It was fine.”
“You should have been taken to a hospital!” Logan ground out. “He could have crushed your trachea, or pierced your jugular or your carotid or— or any number of other catastrophic injuries!”
Patton’s breath hitched, and he pushed it out in a shaky exhale. “But he didn’t,” he said slowly. “I was okay. See? I’m fine.”
“But you could have not been. Roman had no way of knowing the extent of these injuries. He should have taken you to get checked out.”
“I coulda taken myself, you know,” Patton chided softly. “Just— Please, Lo. Stay calm. Okay? Don’t blow up on anyone.”
“I’m not going to blow up. But you, Roman and I need to have a very serious conversation about the future of this house and if that means I have to tell Remus to leave then so be it.”
“That— Logan, that is clearly blowing up!” Patton protested, but Logan was already storming back up the stairs to his own bedroom.
I started this back in February I think and was scrolling my gallery for stuff to work on so I went ahead and finished it. It’s nothing crazy, just a small discussion between Janus and Patton 🩵💛 I did realize that speech bubble 14 is counted twice so that’s my bad!
For those who can’t read my horrible handwriting:
1: Why do I have to be the sensitive one all the time…
2: Well, one of us has to be.
3: And I doubt I’d be a good contender.
4: Easy for you to say.
5: What? There’s always the others. I’ve heard Remus would hardly mind.
6: He’s great with all those feelings.
7: Gosh, I wouldn’t even wish that on him.
8: I mean…I would—
9: Janus, I’m serious!
10: Really?
11: You don’t even like him. Frankly, nobody does.
12: Well…not…exactly.
13: No?
14/1: No.
14/2: He doesn’t really care about anyone. Let alone you.
15: I know…
16: So?
17: I care about all of you.
18: Exactly.
19: What?
20: That’s why you have to do it.
21: Do what?
22: Granted, you’re happy trying to act like he doesn’t exist.
23: But you care about him. Even after everything you know he does.
24: Well…yeah.
25: I care about Thomas, so that includes everyone.
26: Even if I don’t agree with his…methods.
27: He’s still a part of Thomas. And so are you, you know—
28: Don’t make it weird.
29: Anyways, all I’m saying is that you’re best suited to carry that sort of load because of your capacity to be in someone else’s corner above all else.
30: I wouldn’t go around telling Remus that though. Trust, he’ll test that patience.
gamechangershow
romaincrisis
theartofmadeline
