You need a hand to hold

“She will even be able to go back to living and speaking in the singular, in the first person.”

[themikeymonster]

IM IN TEARS I clocked in and found out our computers reset for *DRUMROLL PLS*

Y2k happened!!!! It's just twenty years late!!!!!

We can't run any reports rn 😂😂😂 amazing~

[comradekatara]

smth i adore about katara is that she deeply values compassion and creating a kinder, more equitable, more empathetic world……………but she’s also just. really mean. an absolute dickhead. she’ll help a cat down from a tree and then call that cat a moron for even being up a tree in the first place what were you thinking you stupid bitch. in this instance, that cat is zuko 

[dogsuffrage]

Katara really told Zuko she would actually murder him if he fucked with Aang. Straight up said “I will end your destiny permanently.”

[comradekatara]

yes she did and we love that for her!!!!

[reynaisalesbian]

literally fucking achilles himself: if you’re gonna do this u better be fucking careful u dumbass

percy: lmaooooo can’t i just like not wear sandals. like no offense

also percy: *goes into battle without armor* *annabeth has to jump in front of a knife that would have killed him*

[reynaisalesbian]

percy after insulting the intelligence of the most famous warrior to ever live and then IMMEDIATELY almost dying of the same cause:

[tea-y-track]

we always talk about how fictional characters never talk or interact with their parents & always go on these crazy adventures without parental permission but we never talk about how Percy Jackson would always check up on his mom or think about her wherever he went and half of his decisions were influenced by “oh boy, if I get hurt, she’s gonna get upset”

[inbetweenfictionandreality-deac]

“I waited too long to read the sequel, and now I can’t even remember the characters.”

 A novel by me

[haliasjane]

“I read the whole series in less than two days, and now can’t separate the events of individual books” the thrilling sequel

[chocolatequeennk]

“I’ve read so much fanfic for this series, I can’t remember what really happened in the books” the stunning conclusion

[witchesversuspatriarchy]

Big witch energy

[whitepeopletwitter]

[radiofreddie]

just crying over how romantic Freddie & Jim were nbd

[l0uvie-deactivated20191019]

So I read the book, and almost everytime Jim gave/made Freddie a gift, Freddie would always show it off and say “My husband got me those!” or “My husband made that for me!” It’s so sweet, especially for this one part when they first started dating:

[viroqu]

yeah?

[reynaisalesbian]

thinking about how the concept of percy jackson and the olympians was like initially created out of a bedtime story & so much of this is tailored to “well i just like it” even the fact that percy is a child of POSEIDON simply because it’s… cooler rather than making him a son of zeus which would be, you know, expected……..feeling very tender…..this is the missing ingredient in the rest of every other book he’s ever written i truly believe

[reynaisalesbian]

is there anything more magical than a father building a world through bedtime stories to reach his child with learning disabilities that has been abandoned by the institutional school system and succeeding not only in reaching his own child but in pulling in millions of other children from all around the world. i literally am emotional….the only way i could possibly put this emotion into words is saying: that is truly the best kind of art

[whitepeopletwitter]

[text-mode]

The Morris worm or Internet worm of November 2, 1988 was one of the first computer worms distributed via the Internet. It was written by a student at Cornell University, Robert Tappan Morris, and launched on November 2, 1988 from MIT.

[pyronoid-d-deactivated20181217]

It’s trapped on a floppy tho this is some dark shit it has been denied its purpose forever bound to this obsolete storage

[smolmzd-deactivated20150612]

am i glad it’s in there and we’re out here

[undergroundmonorail]

people reading fantasy novels ask “why did the ancient ones seal the evil away for ten thousand years instead of just killing it” but then we go ahead and do this shit

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

We have learned nothing from every fantasy novel ever O.O

[ayellowbirds]

The best part, from the wiki article: “According to its creator, the Morris worm was not written to cause damage, but to gauge the size of the Internet.”

It was intended to do good, but the programmer made a mistake and it got out of hand, becoming viral.

[dr-archeville]

R̴͓̮͈̞̿͐͛̏̒͂͊̾ͅE͉̝͍̹̣̺̿͗͟͝L̶͖̫͇͙̬ͬ͗͌͘E̻͔̳ͪͭ̑̔̉̉̑ͣ͝͝ͅẢ̲̳̝̗̮ͩS̼̮̠̦͍͈̳̝ͮ̌ͯͯ̌͆͗͠ͅEͦ̎̊͏̪͙̤̦͈̯̱͞͠ ̱̃ͥ̆̄M̛̝̘̺̥̙̱͚ͣ̋͊̚E̪̮͍̘̟̟͚͖͐

[hotcommunist-deactivated2019032]

the year is 28AW (after worm) and still we suffer

[superfluousspork]

Oh, w o r m

[savedgame]

tommy and Timmy are adults right like they run a store

[halodite]

i think they are toddlers

[savedgame]

how do they run a store so efficiently

[halodite]

they work together

[pearlsasinger-deactivated202602]

filmmakers before you make a movie with an ambiguous ending please consider: i like to know things

[weaver-z]

The weirdest guy I ever met in a church was this boy who referred to “Buzz Aldrin and his husband” going to the moon. I was completely baffled, and when I asked if he’d misspoken, he got really angry and accused me of being deliberately ignorant of the facts. It turned out that he was somehow comvinced that Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong were married. It took five Wikipedia articles to convince him otherwise.

[theplaguebeast]

That is the best moon-related conspiracy theory I've EVER heard.

[hotvampireadjacent]

maybe the real moon landing was the husbands we found along the way

[nyctosaurid]

the thing all sherlock holmes adaptations get wrong is making the guy an irredeemable asshole who treats everyone like shit . not only is it not reflective of the original stories they miss that “nice, smart, well mannered dude who snorts coke when he needs to think” is possibly the funniest character ever devised 

[aerialsquid]

I feel like the modern equivalent is that guy you think is super well put together until you find out exactly how much red bull he ingests on a regular basis.

[domicileensnared]

Modern Sherlock is that very nice English Professor-seeming guy who you bring a problem and while walking from the door of his office to his desk he starts explaining the entire solution you need

And upon reaching his desk he’s like “Excuse me one moment.” and pulls out one of those huge Monster canisters they legally aren’t allowed to make anymore, cracks the whole thing, chugs it, takes a deep breath, and then nods at you and is like “Alright, and then what you need to do is…”

[younggayanddoingokay]

Imagine how much better the dynamic of bbc sherlock could have been if they did this.

[kaylapocalypse-deactivated20201]

why even modernize it to energy drinks??? coke didn’t go anywhere. we still have coke. energy drinks aren’t NEARLY chaotic enough. 

Its is more like you hiring some guy to do private investigation about how your husband maybe cheating on you and Sherlock comes to your house high as fuck. Walks into your living room and without taking a moment to even talk to you or sign any paperwork, he turns around—pupils as big as god—and just says

“Its your best friend Brenda. I’ll email you the invoice.” 

and walks right out of your house. 

[bairnsidhe]

Because when it was written cocaine was legal and even considered healthy and useful by some laypeople, even though doctors knew it wasn’t, and Watson was always trying to stop people from encouraging Sherlock’s addiction because HE KNEW BETTER.

So consider this, Holmes, at 2am, desperately searching the flat for the stashes of NOS cans, only to keep coming up with passive aggressive pamphlets about the dangers of caffeine overdose.

Watson wakes up to a stench like Satan’s ass to find Sherlock sitting by his bed with a re-heated pot of cold brewed Deathwish Coffee that had been hidden in the back of the toilet tank (brewing) for five months.  Sherlock is trying to say he’s proud of John’s cleverness in finding most of the stashes, but he’s passed into the fifth dimension and all John gets is a creepy vibrating grin and a sound like a shaken cat.

TLDR, Sherlock did die when he fell off the Falls, but he was so coked up his body didn’t stop moving until like a decade later.

[shadowmaat]

Sherlock as one of those cryptid types the baristas talk about (there’s a post floating around somewhere) who comes in and orders a venti with as many shots as they are legally allowed to add, plus a few more for good measure (and a hefty tip) and then adds energy drink on top of it before chugging the whole thing, to the absolute horror of the cafe staff.

[junietwohundred]

This is the kind of Sherlock Holmes discourse I demand on my dash. Bring me more!

[bewareofthecar1966]

a girl i know told me how a guy she knows once moved out from his parents, ate nothing but fries and meatballs for HALF A YEAR, and got scurvy. imagine the doctor’s face when this guy shows up with like his gums bleeding and the doc has to fucking say DUDE…. THATS SCURVY…. in this day and age

[bewareofthecar1966]

this is turning into a “how a person i know got scurvy” thread and im so here for this, please share your scurvy stories if you have any

[aquarianconstellations]

the other day someone posted pics from the reddit page r/zerocarbs where these fools only ate meat and 0 vegetables or fruits and all the posts were about various symptoms of scurvy. i died when one literally read ‘i don’t want to start the vitamin C debate again but’

[bewareofthecar1966]

THE VITAMIN C DEBATE

[elidyce]

My mother told me all about scurvy when I was five and trying to resist eating pumpkin and let me tell you it’s been 35 years and I still get nervous if I go for two days without eating a green vegetable. 

I told my own little picky eater about scurvy, rickets etc and now one of her most frequently requested lunch items is baby spinach, closely followed by carrots.

I’m not saying everyone should mildly traumatize their children to make them understand that vegetables are vital to ongoing possession of your teeth and organs, but.. no, that’s exactly what I’m saying. Go for it. 

[ariadne83]

some guys i used to know went on a boys only road trip. they decided they were only going to eat things they could cook on the engine block of the car.

two of them got scurvy. one of them drank so much jagermeister + red bull that he temporarily lost the ability to see in colour.

[dexvoan]

im sorry he what now

[astudyinimagination]

I too would lose my ability to see in color if my regular liquid intake consisted of 35% alcohol and 80mg of caffeine.

[starfate]

A guy from my student association got scurvy after eating nothing but “tostis” (fried cheese sandwitches??). The doctor told him that if he had eaten even a little bit of ketchup with it, he would have been fine.

[moopet]

I had scurvy in high school!! It makes you really depressed and tired for a few months and then I needed like 3 mouth surgeries. It sucked.

[marzipanandminutiae]

my friend’s roommate got scurvy from eating nothing but pizza for months (why the sauce didn’t prevent this, I have no idea)

the doctors got her all fixed up

then she went back to eating nothing but pizza and got scurvy again

[admiralbrand]

When I was studying abroad in Bath, I was in a small program and one girl in the program refused to eat anything that wasnt grilled cheese or mac and cheese. We were all responsible for cooking and feeding ourselves. About four weeks in, the girl was sent to the hospital and diagnosed with scurvy. Her lips were the same color as her neck, and she continued to eat only mac and cheese and grilled cheese for the duration of the five month program

[botanyshitposts]

okay so today in plant pathology lab we were hanging out and chilling yet again and my professor is like “hey the mycology team brought back another weird mushroom wanna see it” and i thought about the last time a mycology team member brought back a weird mushroom and we were like HELL YEAHHHHHHH so he took us back there and lo and behold

M E G A   B O Y

features:  -mega boy is a perrenial fungus, you can tell because of the weird rings; these are formed by the same fungus growing over the old fungal structure with new mycelium year after year, leaving layers!

-is estimated to be about ten years old by the mycology team

-grew around a chain, which we can assume to be also super old because its in the thicker part of the mushroom and is also super rusty 

-chain is like straight up like 2-3 feet long????

-was in a tree/stump and they removed it

-is being dried and treated for use as a teaching specimen because MEGA CHAIN BOY

-is super heavy, probably because of the chain bbut also because HE MEGA??

-yea so mega boy thanks for coming to my ted talk

[quailblood]

May I present…chungus supreme. It doesn’t have cool bling like mega boy, though.