I mean, not to beat a dead horse, but I think it sidesteps the actual issues involved and is a horrible solution to suggest that Ned should have had Jon sent somewhere else. The only thing this does is validate Catelyn’s scapegoating of Jon. It also denies Jon the right to a life with his family, Ned to a life with his child (on the assumption Jon is Ned’s) and Jon’s siblings a life with their brother. It’s like putting a bandaid on a gaping wound, and that bandaid was made by ripping flesh out and creating another wound. The real problem is not Jon or Ned’s infidelity, the problem is that Catelyn lacked control of her life and had to find an outlet. And if it wasn’t Jon, it would probably be something or someone else that Catelyn took her frustration out on (and it might have been Arya). I don’t think Catelyn was a woman who accepted what the patriarchy dictated was her role and who thrived under it. I think she was suffocated by it, perhaps in a way just as much as Cersei. I’ve argued before that I think all of the arranged marriages in the series are fucked up, because feudal patriarchy is inherently fucked up, but I think it’s underrated how much the patriarchy fucked up Catelyn, someone who spent her whole life being told that Family, Duty, Honor was the most important thing, and also told from a young age that the projection of her life would be chosen for her.
And tbh I think a lot of Catelyn fans don’t focus on that because they like the fantasy of the woman who thrives under patriarchy, who manages to find a good man and surround herself with children and if it weren’t for that one child that shouldn’t exist…no. That was never the issue. The issue was always misogyny and how it destroys women and in turn destroys families and directs hatred on innocent children.
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