[professionalchaoticdumbass]

i was looking up synonyms for tired and seeing these two next to each other gave me whiplash

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

happy pride month. reblog if you are also fagged out and bushed

[spaceboytoy]

Hello bisexual community

[spaceboytoy]

Begin killing

[tartrazeen]

[itsalwaysdark]

you have to be careful reading too many things that are good/smart/well-written bc then you encounter something that isnt and you get confused like ? why didnt they just make this good ? were they stupid

[lonestatus]

hi! my name is 🦭! my job is play toys and shapes at the water factory! i get paid in fish. after a long day i like to unwind with my hobby, kissing and hugging my friends! which i also get paid in fish for!

[youramradio-deactivated20240428]

i call this the headcanon chart. see my vision

[youramradio-deactivated20240428]

elaboration

[theroseunblown]

if I may:

[unpretty]

i love cutthroat kitchen but bingewatching makes it really stand out how often alton brown refers to himself as ‘daddy’ and makes contestants wear spreader bars

[dr-hollands-deactivated20190209]

I’m sorry what

[unpretty]

you heard me

[unpretty]

[elkian]

#I CAN’T BELIEVE I NOW KNOW WHERE TO BUY THE EXACT FETISH GEAR THEY USE ON MY FAVORITE COOKING SHOW

[fiskeorn-deactivated20180416]

@genericrevenge

[son-of-maglor]

OKAY BUT WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY USING SPREADER BARS ON A COOKING SHOW??!??! DOESNT THAT MAKE IT KINDA HARD TO COOK???!?

[unpretty]

kinda, yeah

[renthebarbarian]

@datas-vibrating-robot-dong this seems like your speed

[gregorydickens]

That logo looks familiar.

[unpretty]

WHAT

OH MY GOD

[sylveonce]

[cowboyjoshdun]

blurryface (2015) is so good. like fairly local? hds? polarize? timh? messge man? doubt? lane boy? the judge? ride? not today? wdbwotv? stressed out? goner? hometown? unbeatable. no one compares

[despazito]

I don't have time for tumblr discourse they're calling the very hungry caterpillar degenerate art over on twitter

[despazito]

good art is when something looks like real life, the more real it looks the more better the art. abstracted figures give my trad children nightmares, one time they were exposed to cubism and couldn't go outside for a week

[venndaai]

have you guys heard about the greenland shark. some crazy shit happening there.

[venndaai]

they are sexually mature at ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY YEARS OLD.

their (live!) young gestate for. wait for it. eight to eighteen (??) YEARS. can have up to 10 at a time. good grief.

longest lifespan of any vertebrate, up to five hundred years

toxic flesh

has giant eyes but is usually blind because of a weird little crustacean that's evolved to live on and eat their eyes. this doesn't seem to bother them much.

lives in deep cold water and has the lowest swim speed and tail-beat frequency for its size across all fish species. just generally lives life in extreme slow motion

largest genome of any shark

eats everything including moose and polar bears

ma'am you are delightfully strange and I'm privileged to share a planet with you

[fluorescentbrains]

this post prompted me to refresh my memory on Greenland Shark Facts and this detail about how they feed goes so hard

just vacuuming up their unsuspecting prey. whole !

[muffinlance]

Good news good news good news! Recent research suggests the eye parasites do NOT blind them!

Eye-opening research: Greenland sharks maintain vision for centuries through DNA repair mechanism

Dorota Skowronska-Krawczyk sits in her office, eyes fixed on the computer monitor in front of her. "You see it move its eye," says the UC Ir

I <3 you a normal amount Greenland sharks

[bobdylanyaoi]

plans for the summer

JERK IT

WRITE RPF

DRINK ALCOHOL

BLOG LIKE IVE NEVER BLOGGED BEFORE

job ?

LISTEN TO RECORDS

[lemon-icarus]

There is little I hold more dearly in my life than the haiku bot

[the-haiku-bot]

There is little I

hold more dearly in my life

than the haiku bot

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[garaks-padded-cell]

Bowie stupidly emerging from the laundry hamper after a NINE HOUR kip because i said the word dinner. To my HUMAN FAMILY!!

And No this is not a senior cat she is ONE year old.

[garaks-padded-cell]

I keep fishing my phone out of my pocket at work just to get a hit of this image

[pusong-mangga]

[cryskir]

This….this is me…this is my zine 😆

[ltwilliammowett]

The Danish training ship “Georg Stage” (1934) dresses in rainbow colour, 2021 

[dragon-in-a-fez]

not the kind of gay ship I’m used to seeing on tumblr but cool

[dubiousculturalartifact]

ship georg is an outlier but SHOULD be counted

[myheadisloud]

[idonotneedthisrightnow-deactiva]

you are acute coffee pie

[bonerfart]

you are narrow, scalding and irrational

[teaboot]

My mom likes to tell me about how when I was a little kid riding public transport with her I'd always smile and giggle and chat with weird old ladies who smelled like cat pee and homeless folks and strangers dressed in bizarre outfits but any time a tidy and respectable businessman in a suit and tie waved at me I'd immediately clam up, and she takes a great deal of pride in my supposed inherentability to clock personalities but the truth is I do vaguely remember those bus rides, and it was never about the clothes or the hair or the smell, but more because everyone "strange" asked interesting questions and listened to what I had to say and seemed to think about what I said while the neat and tidy and rigid folks only ever acted like they were going through the motions, which was boring as hell and also pretty annoying

[teaboot]

Well-to-do finance manager with tidy shoes: "Why hello, sweetheart. Can you say 'hi'? Aren't you cute. Are you on a trip with your mom?"

4 year old me: why must we do this

Fantastic old woman in the leopard print coat: "Why yes, my tooth IS real silver! Nobody ever asks me that. Do you like cats?"

4 year old me, suddenly paying attention: Finally, A Person Of Intellect

[sandandglass]

The Muppets s01e01