need a lotta love to combat the evil @dyatloveyou - Tumblr Blog

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adriles

im not interested in glory through combat anymore. i do not want to be a part of this shit.

adriles

on the battlefield again

#me going to law school for some reason

fluentisonus

they're trying to get me to do something called ""my job"" instead of reading about medieval english poaching laws

#my one torts professor every time he has to pause bidding on rare books to teach law school classes #sike! he also teaches Medieval English law #so excited to hang out with him next year

brehaaorgana

for the last time: if there's a sexy naked lady with long flowing hair and MAYBE a diaphanous sheet or flower crown; lots of swirlies and ribbon like curving LUSCIOUS shapes; very lush foliage (acanthus leaves, elegant flowers) and all kinds of fauna — both especially waterside (lily pads, lotuses, reeds, cranes, dragonflies); lots of green; everything is a lot of iron, stone, stained glass, mosaic, and carved wood; the windows or their frames are very Shaped; the lights are soft yellow; or it's a font with lots of line weight variation; feather tips are rounded; everything reminds you of france, vienna, or japan and something vaguely mediterranean; OR it's literally a Parisian metro station

— then it's art nouveau

and if the sexy lady has a bob cut or a hair cap and is wearing a column or flapper dress; there's a lot of geometry like rectangles, arches, rays, and diamonds; angels have super sharp wings and a lot of muscles; everything is steel, concrete, marble, gold, and red velvet seats; everything is VERY angular; and all the foliage is basically papyrus fronds; things feel vaguely Egyptian or Turkish or Mesopotamian; the fonts play with being very skinny or very thick and are sans serif with extra lines; or Gatsby would be found floating dead in that pool

— then it's art deco

brehaaorgana

And if looks kinda like art nouveau

— with lots of lush flora, tiny insects (like dragonflies) or graceful birds, stained glass, iron, warm golden lighting, lots of wood and wood carving (but now it's more wood paneling), a stylistic fondness for Japan, line weight variation in the font, and tile (but this time it's carved or sculpted on, not tiny mosaic)

but you're worried it's art deco

— because the forms (especially foliage) are very symmetrical and slightly more angular or blocky and graphic looking, things are more rectangular than circular or curvy in architecture, the patterns repeat more often, and more of the lamps are pyramids or rectangular, and there are nods to Egyptian or Ottoman style, and they used the color red (probably in an accent chair or carpet rug)

BUT there's no steel, concrete, gold plating or gilding, marble, big muscles, spiky or radiating diamond shapes, angular people, or flappers,

AND the vibes are jacobean, gothic, or spanish mission revival; they love some brick and stone; the wallpaper is an explosion of colorful pattern that could give you arsenic poisoning or help depict a descent into postpartum psychosis in a famous short story; but there are NO people to be seen, not even sexy ladies,

— then THAT is the arts & crafts movement.

#wildlife identification guide

rathayibacter

you spill dr pepper on the concrete and a single perfect rose pushes up out of a crack

saturnvs

the stars, the moon

going to work with 17 oz brewed tea, 12 oz coffee, 24 oz electrolyte water, and a 16 oz smoothie. hydrate or diedrate!!!

#all in various random jars with ill-fitting caps btw

buffyblue

Heath Ledger & Shannyn Sossamon in A Knight’s Tale (2001)

shesnake

Hamnet (2025) dir. Chloé Zhao

saturnvs

oh florence

memoryslandscape-deactivated202

“‘The best thing for being sad,’ replied Merlin, beginning to puff and blow, ‘is to learn something. That is the only thing that never fails. You may grow old and trembling in your anatomies, you may lie awake at night listening to the disorder of your veins, you may miss your only love, you may see the world about you devastated by evil […], or know your honor trampled in the sewers of baser minds. There is only one thing for it then, to learn. Learn why the world wags and what wags it. That is the only thing which the MIND can never exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by, never fear or distrust, and never dream of regretting.’”

— T. H. White, from The Once and Future King (Collins, 1958)

lesbianshepard

if an archaeologist says an artifact was probably for “ritual purposes” it means “i have no fuckin clue”

but if they say it was for “fertility rituals” they mean “i know exactly what it was for but i dont want to say ‘ancient dildo’”

thecringeandwincefactory-deacti

Back in the day I worked at a certain very famous and very high caste art museum in the US as a junior curator. Part of my job was to catalog the objects in the museum database. This includes details like provenance, measurements, and a visual description of what the object looked like.

Like I said, the museum was a pretty snotty institution. It’s got a LOT of objects it’s way famous for possessing, but nobody knew about the absolutely massive collection of Moche erotic pottery it had because the curators were totally embarrassed by this stuff.

Some examples:

Pretty hot shit, right? They never, ever put any of this stuff on public view or published it in any catalogues but - we legit had like several hundred pieces of Moche ceramics in the “dirty pots” category. Anyway, I was left alone to just do my job with regard to the database for several years, ok? And I figured, well, these’re accessioned objects in the museum’s collection - better get down to bidness.

I catalogued every goddamn bestiality, necrophiliac, cocksucking, buttfucking, detached penis, and giant vulva drinking cup in that collection. I’d be like,

A drinking vessel in form of a standing man wearing a tunic and cap. He holds an oversized erection in his hands and stares into the distance (note I did not say “like he’s hella-constipated”). The vessel has a hole at both the tip of the penis as well as around the rim of the figure’s head, thus forcing the drinker to drink only from the penis or risk spilling wine all over themselves from the top of the vessel. Red and orange slip covers the surface of the piece.

Pretty straightforward, right? Apparently the deep seated fear of these objects that the curators exhibited was meant to spread to me as well, but - no one ever gave me that memo, because I guess Midwesterners reproduce asexually. When the curators understood that I had catalogued all of these objects in addition to the other, non-sexy pieces in the collection, they were apparently livid, but knew they had no legs to stand on in terms of getting pissed at me for it.

I visited the museum’s online public access database a few years back and - every single description I wrote of these pieces has been totally neutered to say something like Male figural vase.

Long story short? Just call a dildo a fucking dildo. It’s all gonna be ok, I swear.

workfornow

This is absolutely the MOST unusual reblog I have ever tagged with what is probably my second-favorite tag, “talk to me about your work.”

Plus it’s hilarious.

cloudfreed

I love ancient art history !!!!!

clockshunddachshund

@lowercasetrashwriter

scrimblobimblobadimbo-deactivat

Museums should have sections dedicated to artifacts like these with a warning that says “There’s a lot of private parts in here but we’re dedicated to displaying history so we won’t censor these. Enter at your own risk” or something. It’s prudish to deliberately hide history because of some ding dongs.