im not interested in glory through combat anymore. i do not want to be a part of this shit.
on the battlefield again
styofa doing anything
we're not kids anymore.

ellievsbear

if i look back, i am lost
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
taylor price
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macklin celebrini has autism

Kiana Khansmith
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
DEAR READER
d e v o n
occasionally subtle
dirt enthusiast
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Sade Olutola
Cosmic Funnies
cherry valley forever

ā
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@dyatloveyou
im not interested in glory through combat anymore. i do not want to be a part of this shit.
on the battlefield again
they're trying to get me to do something called ""my job"" instead of reading about medieval english poaching laws
for the last time: if there's a sexy naked lady with long flowing hair and MAYBE a diaphanous sheet or flower crown; lots of swirlies and ribbon like curving LUSCIOUS shapes; very lush foliage (acanthus leaves, elegant flowers) and all kinds of fauna ā both especially waterside (lily pads, lotuses, reeds, cranes, dragonflies); lots of green; everything is a lot of iron, stone, stained glass, mosaic, and carved wood; the windows or their frames are very Shaped; the lights are soft yellow; or it's a font with lots of line weight variation; feather tips are rounded; everything reminds you of france, vienna, or japan and something vaguely mediterranean; OR it's literally a Parisian metro station
ā then it's art nouveau
and if the sexy lady has a bob cut or a hair cap and is wearing a column or flapper dress; there's a lot of geometry like rectangles, arches, rays, and diamonds; angels have super sharp wings and a lot of muscles; everything is steel, concrete, marble, gold, and red velvet seats; everything is VERY angular; and all the foliage is basically papyrus fronds; things feel vaguely Egyptian or Turkish or Mesopotamian; the fonts play with being very skinny or very thick and are sans serif with extra lines; or Gatsby would be found floating dead in that pool
ā then it's art deco
And if looks kinda like art nouveau
ā with lots of lush flora, tiny insects (like dragonflies) or graceful birds, stained glass, iron, warm golden lighting, lots of wood and wood carving (but now it's more wood paneling), a stylistic fondness for Japan, line weight variation in the font, and tile (but this time it's carved or sculpted on, not tiny mosaic)
but you're worried it's art deco
ā because the forms (especially foliage) are very symmetrical and slightly more angular or blocky and graphic looking, things are more rectangular than circular or curvy in architecture, the patterns repeat more often, and more of the lamps are pyramids or rectangular, and there are nods to Egyptian or Ottoman style, and they used the color red (probably in an accent chair or carpet rug)
BUT there's no steel, concrete, gold plating or gilding, marble, big muscles, spiky or radiating diamond shapes, angular people, or flappers,
AND the vibes are jacobean, gothic, or spanish mission revival; they love some brick and stone; the wallpaper is an explosion of colorful pattern that could give you arsenic poisoning or help depict a descent into postpartum psychosis in a famous short story; but there are NO people to be seen, not even sexy ladies,
ā then THAT is the arts & crafts movement.
you spill dr pepper on the concrete and a single perfect rose pushes up out of a crack
the stars, the moon
going to work with 17 oz brewed tea, 12 oz coffee, 24 oz electrolyte water, and a 16 oz smoothie. hydrate or diedrate!!!
Heath Ledger & Shannyn Sossamon in A Knightās Tale (2001)
Hamnet (2025) dir. ChloƩ Zhao
oh florence
āāThe best thing for being sad,ā replied Merlin, beginning to puff and blow, āis to learn something. That is the only thing that never fails. You may grow old and trembling in your anatomies, you may lie awake at night listening to the disorder of your veins, you may miss your only love, you may see the world about you devastated by evil [ā¦], or know your honor trampled in the sewers of baser minds. There is only one thing for it then, to learn. Learn why the world wags and what wags it. That is the only thing which the MIND can never exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by, never fear or distrust, and never dream of regretting.āā
ā T. H. White, from The Once and Future King (Collins, 1958)
if an archaeologist says an artifact was probably forĀ āritual purposesā it meansĀ āi have no fuckin clueā
but if they say it was forĀ āfertility ritualsā they meanĀ āi know exactly what it was for but i dont want to sayĀ āancient dildoāā
Back in the day I worked at a certain very famous and very high caste art museum in the US as a junior curator. Part of my job was to catalog the objects in the museum database. This includes details like provenance, measurements, and a visual description of what the object looked like.
Like I said, the museum was a pretty snotty institution. Itās got a LOT of objects itās way famous for possessing, but nobody knew about the absolutely massive collection of Moche erotic pottery it had because the curators were totally embarrassed by this stuff.
Some examples:
Pretty hot shit, right? They never, ever put any of this stuff on public view or published it in any catalogues but - we legit had like several hundred pieces of Moche ceramics in theĀ ādirty potsā category. Anyway, I was left alone to just do my job with regard to the database for several years, ok? And I figured, well, theseāre accessioned objects in the museumās collection - better get down to bidness.Ā
I catalogued every goddamn bestiality, necrophiliac, cocksucking, buttfucking, detached penis, and giant vulva drinking cup in that collection. Iād be like,Ā
A drinking vessel in form of a standing man wearing a tunic and cap. He holds an oversized erection in his hands and stares into the distance (note I did not say ālike heās hella-constipatedā). The vessel has a hole at both the tip of the penis as well as around the rim of the figureās head, thus forcing the drinker to drink only from the penis or risk spilling wine all over themselves from the top of the vessel. Red and orange slip covers the surface of the piece.
Pretty straightforward, right? Apparently the deep seated fear of these objects that the curators exhibited was meant to spread to me as well, but - no one ever gave me that memo, because I guess Midwesterners reproduce asexually. When the curators understood that I had catalogued all of these objects in addition to the other, non-sexy pieces in the collection, they were apparently livid, but knew they had no legs to stand on in terms of getting pissed at me for it.Ā
I visited the museumās online public access database a few years back and - every single description I wrote of these pieces has been totally neutered to say something like Male figural vase.Ā
Long story short? Just call a dildo a fucking dildo. Itās all gonna be ok, I swear.
This is absolutely the MOST unusual reblog I have ever tagged with what is probably my second-favorite tag, ātalk to me about your work.ā
Plus itās hilarious.
I love ancient art history !!!!!
@lowercasetrashwriter
Museums should have sections dedicated to artifacts like these with a warning that says āThereās a lot of private parts in here but weāre dedicated to displaying history so we wonāt censor these. Enter at your own riskā or something. Itās prudish to deliberately hide history because of some ding dongs.
Fucking Puritanism.
Unpopular opinion: Sex exists. Making body parts taboo is both psychologically bad for us and kinda stupid.
Tokuhiro Kawai
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they call it amtrak because the trains am on the trak
girl itās just a 3 day trip, you do not need to bring your terracotta warriors š
what the fuck did you even DO in 1971 when don mclean dropped american pie