as a pink lover. The ""universal""" hatred of the color pink by young girls is due to the heavy expectation of femininity forced on them. It is an expression of frustration at gender roles. It is not internalized misogyny. No you will not inevitably start liking pink as an adult and if you do that is not healing your inner divine feminine or whatever we're saying now. Its a color. 😁👍
btw i'm ignoring or even blocking (mood dependent) anyone who says "b-but what about both 🥺🥺" read the room. this is for loud femmes, fat femmes, femmes of color, genderqueer femmes, trans femmes, intersex femmes, any beautiful combination of the above and any other femme who has had to fight for their place amongst the stereotypes we see in our community. if you like to comment on your meekness, whatever idc yolo do what you want. don't attach it to your femmeness. please. not only for my sake but for yours
butches are the sillest of the silly geese.. you can tell them repeatedly you have a crush on them, call them petnames and compliment them constantly, spam message them, and even say Yes to going on a date with them, and they'll still ask if you're Sure
Amy Warner Candela - For Charlie on the Eve of Our Wedding in The Femme Mystique edited by Leslea Newman
In honour of valentine's day this past week 💌
ID under read more
ID: Three parts of an essay from Amy Warner Candela - For Charlie on the Eve of Our Wedding in The Femme Mystique edited by Leslea Newman
The first part presents text.
The author is Amy Warner Candela.
The title is For Charlie on the Eve of Our Wedding.
The text continues and it reads:
October 22, 1993
"Tomorrow we are to be married, and I am confident that it will be the wedding I have always wanted.
Every detail of what will become the wedding is precisely what we want; nothing is out of place. I will be wearing the most beautiful dress and the most beautiful veil I have ever seen. You will look gorgeous in your tuxedo. The flowers are exactly right. The ceremony will be perfect, because we created it together. Our closest friends and most of our families will be with us, just as we have always wished. The music is what I picked out as a little girl. We have planned and prayed and organized and practiced and crossed our fingers for months now, and I know it will all be worth it.
What is the reason that this is everything that I have wanted? You. You are all that I want in a woman. In my mind's eye, the wife I pictured never had a face. Then you came along, and the blank was filled. That butch dyke is you!
You already know why I am marrying you: I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to sleep with you every night and make your breakfast every morning. I love knowing that you'll be at home waiting for me after another very long day. I love knowing that every time I feel pleasure, it will be from your touch, your words, your heart. I love knowing that you always make me feel safe, you constantly protect me. I love know- ing that no matter how hard it gets for us, you and I will never abandon our commitment. I will love being your femme wife.
I have always known these things, even before you proposed and put that diamond on my finger. But I want our commitment to be blessed. I want to share our marriage with the people we love, and I want to show the world that I am proud to take your hand. This is why I want to share a last name with you.
Amidst all of the chaos of the last few days, I found time to think about what it will mean to be your wife. It is going to take a lot of patience, thought, and strength. I'm afraid we will always have to face troubles from our own community. We will always have to turn away from the stares of our"
The first part is on page 60 of the book.
Second part shows a picture of a woman in a wedding dress, veil and holding a bouquet of flowers. Text directly underneath the image reads: Amy Warner Candela - October 23, 1993.
(text continues from the other page) "so-called sisters. We will constantly need to defend ourselves. But I have never questioned that it will be worth it.
From the day we met, I knew that we were right together. I have never felt so comfortable, so completely free to be who I really am. From my core I am a femme. That spirit has always been there, repressed by androgynous pressure. You brought out the femme in me. Not only do you want it, but you cherish, honor, and respect it above all. I love you so much for that. I see the admiration in your eyes every day when I am dressed for work. I can see the joy and respect in your smile when we dance. I can feel your love and honor all over your body when we make love. I can hear the appreciation in your voice when you tell me how beautiful I look. And I sense your pride and adoration every time you defend me to the others. Thank you for nurturing and treasuring the femme that I am. I will do my best to do the same for the butch that you are."
The second part is on page 61 of the book.
Third part has text that reads:
"I know the anguish that you have experienced as a butch. I cry for the pain that people have inflicted upon you. I try to dispel your fears of the simplest things: a certain touch, a trip to the ladies' room, a doctor's office visit. I wish I could erase the malevolence for you, just as you constantly comfort me. My sorrows have been different yet the same. I never fit in with the crowd. Assumptions are made about me every day, and expectations of me are great. I must sustain my inner strength; not just as a lesbian, but as a femme. I never knew that being a femme would be so much harder than being queer. We are both gender-benders: you challenge the straight community while I challenge the lesbians. We are both cross-dressers: you wear men's clothing, I refuse to even attempt the lesbian androgynous status quo. I am convinced this is why we are so perfect together: we comfort, and complement, and contrast all at the same time.
We must continue to defy the expectations of us. We can draw upon each other when we need to stand tall against pressure from the community in which we first found our strength and reassurance. Our wedding is a challenge to that community. How many times have we heard, "Are you both wearing dresses or tuxedos?" It's ironic that lesbians asked this question most often, and that we must explain and defend our freedom to the people who claim to fight for it.
Despite the obstacles, I come to you with love, with faith, and with the promise to give you all that is me.
izzy806
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