dante @dykesinferno - Tumblr Blog

Before you are two magic buttons. Button A: you will never have to clean your kitchen again (dishes are automatically done; floor swept and mopped; etc). Button B: you will never have to clean your bathroom again (toilet & sink & tub/shower cleaned and sanitized; etc) Which button do you push?

A

B

Voting ended onJun 3

heliophile-oxon

So many comments, many of them wise and all of them heartfelt, and yet nobody has thought to add ...

the fridge-freezer is in the kitchen. Not only are there dishes every day, not only are there food preparation surfaces of various kinds every day, not only are there crumbs and odds and ends that fall on the floor every day ... but the fridge-freezer is in the kitchen. The oven is in the kitchen, the food cupboards are in the kitchen, and above all THE KITCHEN BIN IS IN THE KITCHEN.

I mean, it's not like the bathroom is all sweetness and light, but seriously! Who in their right mind is choosing the bathroom?!?!?!?

Ils sont fous, ces Romains tumblrains.

sufficientlylargen

Having a magically-self-cleaning bathroom would be cool, but it wouldn't dramatically change my lifestyle.

If I could cook or bake whatever the hell I wanted, knowing that all my pots and mixing bowls and baking sheets would just zap themselves clean when I finished? If I knew that I could spill batter or grease inside the oven or burn things onto baking racks and it would just go away? I would be making delicious shit constantly.

earhartsease

from @baddywronglegs

#You can piss in the kitchen sink but you can't make lasagna in the shower

@theshitpostcalligrapher this one deserves to be writ large

theshitpostcalligrapher

yeag.....

prokopetz

They say that sudden, intense cravings for very specific foods are usually a sign of a vitamin deficiency. If so, that I'm presently making myself french toast, scrambled eggs, and a bacon and cheese sandwich at 11:45 PM must mean the vitamin I'm missing is grease.

prokopetz

I cross-posted this to Bluesky and got followed by a bunch of folks with blog headers clarifying which exact flavour of Christianity they adhere to because they thought I was making a hashtag-relatable post about cheating on your diet. Now we get find out how many of them are also comfortable with posts about werewolf cock.

paper-mache-stars

been thinking about grace and adrian being alike

ampervadasz

vedurnan

let’s fuck this thing

glassshine

tollhousecookie

Hey check out how hard i ca]

musclemanveryregular

You know who else ca]

countably-infinite-rats

its not that hard guys, wat]

tollhousecookie

[n portal through posts 😁

musclemanveryregular

[n portal through posts 😁?

countably-infinite-rats

[ch- wait... guys???

xalatath

I like when you click a link and it turns purple its like youre bruising it

slugmania

depsidase

zeldasavefile

Who the hell carried around their gamecube

maxylotl

mouchefska

that’s hot

strawberry-crocodile

i'd make a joke about "let the HUSBAND giggle under the covers and tell HIS WIFE to put that camera away before dying before HIS WIFE'S story starts" but lets be real he'd still get more fanart

strawberry-crocodile

sir do you understand that you are being criticized right now

tinkerbitch69

The best thing about tumblr is you can just make a criticism of a very specific person completely unprompted and then that person will appear as if summoned in your notes to prove your point for you.

ghostly-harmless

strawberry-crocodile

@yogsothoththekeyandthegate LITERALLYYY

nalgenebottle-deactivated201706

*goes to Coachella in a white linen suit like an antebellum lawyer, sweating profusely and dabbing at my forehead with a handkerchief* now, I’m no fancy scientist, but would you folk know where a simple gentleman such as myself could obtain some acid? Now, I’m no big city lawyer, but could any of you fine youths point a country boy such as myself in the direction of some fucking acid?