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Today's Document
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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@easterlingwanderer
#while the person i reblogged this from didt tagged anything#i know#by the blog#its about elves#valinor#edain#valar#aman#i just do bro#trust me#secondborn#firstborn#i have a beef too
it is indeed about the valar and how they left morgoth going around unchecked because ??????
Writing about a Edain Afterlife and boy, its fun (its a Danny Phantom crossover lol)
Also, elves are probally upset there is something they are denied?
They can have Aman, and immortality and the Valar (who are more elven gods than mannish honestly), and the Trees were all theirs while Arda literally rooted in Elf Satan's rule.
But what is beyond Arda is unknow and forbidden for them, while begin all Men's?
Even Tolkien kinda afirms this in his letters, Elves like Middle Earth because they have the privilege of begin the superior race
they ARE upset about there being something they don't know/can't have xD it is very clear in the athrabet!!
Elves can keep Marred Arda.
I am off to Beyond Arda, bye.
(They not invited)
IMMA COMING WITH U
Pos Dagor Dagorath with Edain Afterlife would be funny if Elves were just...not allowed in?
Andreth can visit her boytoy, House of Beor can visit Finrod, Luthien and Beren and their mortal kids can visit her immortal descendants, Elros can meet Elrond, all in a Arda free of Morgoth. Not in Beyond Arda Afterlife
But yeah, this is Edain Land, Elves have Aman, we have this. You not allowed here, not even the Valar (Mandos wanted to Doom Earendil for coming to Aman in canon???)
If you can, we can, shoo shoo
tbh i don't see why elves CAN go to aman and edain cannot go to valinor. so yeah i am with you on this one, anon xD
I am a big fan of 'Valar's religion and views of Arda isn't entirely right' crossover
Like...your religion says your people are the Firstborn, entitled to a magical island free of Morgoth, immortality and are the fairest and wisests and who disagrees is marred
Also, every race is lessr than you
Edain are the secondborn, their deaths (which elves dont have to deal with) are a gift so if you complain you are ambitious fool because you should age and get sick and die (while elves dont of course, know your place)
Dwarves are not even the Thirdborn, they were created by Aule, elves call them stunted people and ugly and hunt them down and steal their mountains (looking at you Finrod, and at Thingol, where are the petty dwarves)
The Medieval Catholic Church called, they want you back
Ding ding ding we have a winner.
Tbh, Arda is really dystopian when you think of it isn't it.
Tolkien wasn't super clear about this and what hints he did put in, the movies left out, but the answer is: The Ring controls people.
In the book, Frodo does this to Gollum on the slopes of Mount Doom, and curses him to "yourself be thrown into the Fire" if he ever touches him again.
I feel Peter Jackson didn't understand that -- as he also didn't understand why Gollum, having sworn on the Ring not to harm Frodo, couldn't (personally) harm Frodo (and therefore had to lead him into Cirith Ungol for Shelob to kill him instead).
"Smeagol promised!" "Smeagol lied" was never how it worked.
Which is why Jackson had Frodo still apparently be drawn to the Ring after it was bitten off him and attack Gollum and push him over, because he thought Gollum just "randomly fell off the edge" in the book. It wasn't random, it was the effect of Frodo's curse using the Ring's power.
At all levels the Ring's power is to give its bearer power. For small mortal folks like Hobbits that means the gift of invisibility, which, like the Ring of Gyges in Plato's Republic, removes social consequences for one's actions. For people like Denethor or Aragorn it would have meant the power to command armies, which is what Sauron thought was happening when Aragorn marched on the Black Gate and why he sent every soldier he'd got to take it back. For Gandalf ("through me the Ring would wield a power too great and terrible to imagine") or Galadriel ("all shall love me and despair") it would have meant phenomenal power over nature.
Thought I'd share this meme that has been developing on the r/lordoftherings subreddit over the last couple days. Enjoy!
BROKE: elves never actually need to eat or sleep because they are perfect beings uwu
WOKE: elves can get by without eating or sleeping for extended periods because they are superior in body to mere mortals
BESPOKE: elves can survive without eating or sleeping for far longer than mortals, but it makes them incredibly stupid, and a good number of events in the Silmarillion can be attributed to somebody with a Fin-name being overtired and hangry
Thinking of the larger context of LOTR and like, the fellowship swapping old war stories and shit and Sam just says âYeah I killed a huge spiderâŚShelob, I think?â
And Gandalf just blinks and is like, âYou what now?â
âYeah, killed it. Had to save Frodoâ
Gandalf elects not to tell Sam that he killed the spawn of a primordial demon.
the daughter of the embodiment of darkness which ate the original sun and moon and almost ate the devil.
That's not important. What is important is that it was a danger to Mister Frodo.
Time for me to info dump about Sam and Shelob.
In lord of the rings lore, there are three tiers of deities. The highest tier and most dangerous includes Morgoth - Sauronâs master, and Ungoliant, Shelobâs master. The middle tier includes Shelob, Sauron. Then thereâs the lowest tier, which includes the wizards Gandalf and Saruman as well as the Balrog (this is why Gandalf couldnât 1v1 the Balrog). It also explains why Gandalf doesnât take the ring, the magic of a tier 2 deity would absolutely corrupt him. We even see that happen with Saruman and the Palantir.
This leads to the start of the answer to some interesting questions. Why does Sauron tolerate Shelob being in his territory, and why does Sauron tolerate there being a secret back door into Mordor?
On the surface, he does it because he might not be able to beat Shelob in a fight, after all theyâre the same tier of deity. And since Shelobâs domain is the secret way into Mordor, he canât close it off, and he seriously doubts anyone can use it to get in. He doesnât monitor the path with guards either - Shelob would eat them.
It gets more detailed than that though. Sauronâs boss, Morgoth, and Shelobâs boss, Ungoliant, made a deal. Theyâd attack the tree of life together. Morgoth would drink the nectar, and Ungoliant would keep all of the jewels and magic they earned along the way. Morgoth broke this deal because there was a particularly powerful gem he wanted (the gem in Sauronâs helmet), and as a result Ungoliant went to war with Morgoth.
Ungoliant won, Morgoth barely escaped with his life.
So not only does Sauron maybe lose if he attacks Shelob. Even if he were to win, it might provoke Ungoliant into attacking Morgoth again, and Ungoliant wins that fight, sheâs already done it once.
With all of that established, how the hell does Sam hurt a deity that powerful?
Well, to start, itâs impossible. Shelobâs hide is so tough Sam could never pierce it with all his might. However, Shelob had grown old and arrogant. During the fight, Sam winds up directly underneath Shelob, and Shelob decides to crush Sam with all her strength.
Unfortunately, Sam is pointing sting straight up.
While Sam lacks the strength to hurt Shelob, Shelob herself is plenty strong. She accidentally impales herself on sting, finding herself injured for the first time in thousands of years. Which is the sort of poetry I really appreciate about Tolkienâs writing.
No matter how powerful or evil or ancient or indestructible your foe, if you stand for what is right and hold your sword out, they will impale themselves upon it.
Samâs backstory in this scene is much simpler. He has to save Frodo.
I love it when tolkien fans reblog posts with the deep lore receipts. Thank you
still mad about smart TVs. that shit should be in a separate box like you can literally buy one of them androidtv boxes for ÂŁ30. it doesn't need its own ip address it doesn't need its own app store it doesn't need to replicate the functionality every device plugged into it already has
Smart TVs are one of the great evils of the modern era tbh. If I wanted spyware on my TV I should have to download it myself
i keep promising myself i won't become another technophobe yelling about those "dang newfangled machines" or whatever. that i won't Get Worse until going back to punchcards unironically seems like a good idea. that i'll enjoy new things as they come out.
but so much is actively evil, hostile or otherwise enshittified. i don't want to track my greebles with splorp i don't want to pay a teehee subscription to get round cacophany's file limits i don't need 17 ways to skrimple my scronk 7 of which secretly activate scrungly plus ultimate i don't need to link it to my flowolf account i don't want to manage it with the flowby mowby i don't care if poob does or does not has it for me. i don['t care
i want a big screen whose ENTIRE job is to show me whatever device i plug into it. and also audio. i want to save my documents. on the computer. that i'm using. i want to own the media i buy. i want tech that is fat, properly cooled, simpler, serviceable by a normal person, and not forcing me to constantly select the "onlly spy on me a little bit" box every couple weeks.
You are so incredibly right
"why did the ring mostly affect frodo and not bilbo who had it for a gazillion years" objectively has a textual answer but i think the best answer is that sauron just likes bilbo more than frodo
bilbo: *uses the ring to hide from his relatives*
sauron, remembering almaren: yknow. real.
servant of darkness: i have the elf grindr you asked me to prepare, lord
morgoth, lord of darkness: great. how many have you ground up so far
servant of darkness: oh. uh
The Wanderer coded tbh
âchina / russia rigging electionsâ did you get your âEast bad!â takes from Middle Earth? đđ
I said that Chinese and Russian elections are rigged to have one party win, which is, you know... uhm.
True?
Elections in China
Elections in Russia
Also I won't answer those kind of question on this account anymore, kindly bring your keyboard lion stuff on @askthedragonprinceviren instead
Hey!
Iâm the anon that made the HUGE rant about the silmarillion. Haha ! Sorry for all the mistakes! I speak french so itâs hard for me sometimes in English. I was wondering if you had other books/authors that you like? Recommendations for fantasy novels!
Friend I am Italian so it is both of us xD
So, if you want to get both enraged and fall in love with a story, like the Silmarillion but with characters that are more than name-drop? Realms of the Elderlings, by Robin Hobb, starts with Assassin Apprentice. Those books changed my brain chemistry istg. There are a lot of them, so they can scratch that itch. Stop before the last trilogy tho.
If you need something TRULY hopepunk/noblebright (f*ck you, Tolkien), with incredible worldbuilding, interesting characters, etc, The Goblin Emperor by Katherine Addison. Tolkien can only WISH. This is a single novel.
Wants something completely different but strangely... complementary, dipping your toes in a different way to see magic and the world? Beware of Chicken by Casual Farmer. SomeGuy dies and finds himself in the body of a Martial Art disciple in fantasy China, decide to nope and become a farmer... and Things Sure Do Happen! Fantastic cast of character, laughs out loud, the impression that Tolkien would at once tear his hair out and be... approving? Intrigued?
If you tell me more in details what you like I can give you more precise recs!^__^
Hey!
Not a question but mostly a thought. Reading the silmarillion is like someone constantly gaslighting you into thinking that youâre fate is great as a human.
Tolkien did great things but reading his works in 2024 is jarring. The colonialism/racism/classism is dripping all over⌠The ruling or dominant class of people (elves) are clearly flawed but we somehow have to accept that they are a better race and less inclined to evil?
Then you have to accept to age, get full of wrinkles or die of disease when Elves get to stay young forever without any physical flaws. And donât you dare to complain about it since this âgiftâ is directly from Eru!! ⌠what? Oh and the numenorean? Oh no those are uh.. well different you know? Eru gives them exceptionally long lives without disease because⌠what ? Yes he could technically have done it for all human but this wasnât in his plan..
And donât forget that you CANNOT set a foot in Aman. Of course itâs a paradise of earth that could have shield men from Morgoth. Yes itâs basically what the Valar should have done for middle earth and all the eruhini but you see, itâs not suitable for men. Only for the Elves. Why? Well of course itâs because Aman fits the NATURE of ElvesâŚ
So basically any good stuff that happens to the Elves is because of their nature or intrinsic characteristics. Anything bad that happens to mens are the will of God. Exactly what the monarchy, the colonialist and the upper class have been hammering into the skulls of those who they deemed beneath them. Which is not a concept that is surprising to see knowing the time when the author was born but itâs revealing something about Tolkien. That even in a fantastic world where everything is possible, thereâs always a group that needs to be at the bottom without valid or logical reasoning. I am happy that modern authors are able to create tension in their work without all of that crap.
Eeeexactly!
Which is why I say it is fine to read it... but living it? it is a dystopian nightmare. Like what the fuck?
And oh, it will all make sense in Arda Remade! Well I didn't consent to any of that? What if I think that is bullshit?
I agree with you, it is a fun read... as long as you keep it veeeery clear that Feanor Was Right About the Valar Actually
A List of Problematic⢠Things
(All Takes I Have Actually Seen)
⢠Childhood Friends to Lovers?  Practically Incest! ⢠Two characters share the same (extremely distant) ancestor?  Literally incest!  Bad and wrong! ⢠Platonic familial affection and intimacy?  Suspicious. ⢠âSworn Brothersâ?  You guessed it!  Incest.
⢠Height/size difference?  Suspicious. ⢠Two 17 year olds?  You should have just made them adults. ⢠But also aging up characters is Not Allowed. ⢠30+ year old with a much older character?  Ew, age gap! ⢠Puppy crushes?  Illegal.
⢠Enemies to Lovers is Abuse, ⢠and you should never redeem or sympathize with Villains/Abusers/The Bad People.
⢠Monsterfuckers?  Zoophilia.  Or necrophilia, if itâs vampires or whatever.  The point is youâre wrong.  And bad.  >:(
âWow what can they read? Â Only the fluffiest Coffeeshop/Soulmate/HC?â
⢠Coffeeshop AUs?  Romanticizes workplace harassment.  And gentrification. ⢠Soulmate AUs?  Amatonormative.  Supports predetermination. ⢠Hurt/comfort?  Why would you want to hurt the characters?  Freak.
Also:
⢠Straight ships are heteronormative. ⢠But queer ships are fetishizing. ⢠Itâs very simple!
And even:
⢠You need the original media creatorâs consent to write fanfic.  Anne Rice was Valid, actually!
May add:
⢠If you draw porn/hentai in general youâre automatically a pedophile because you MUST KNOW that kids are gonna find it and if -god forbid- one of them feels aroused by seen it you have indirectly did something sexual to a child intentionally (source is a 19y old anti that claimed to have been SA by some bakudeku author because he got a boner watching a smut fanart)
